NEWS
29 March 2003
And
if last week showed that we really can score 6 goals a game,
then AFCW 3 AFCW 2 shows that finally, finally, finally
we can win crunch games. Indeed, as far as crunch games go, taking it
to the runaway leaders, and actually outplaying them for large periods
shows a club that can do it. More on why this is so later, but a brief
rundown from what I can remember : they scored first with a free kick.
We got back with what looked like a bit of a scramble from whoever it
was, then got in front with a looping JS header. Cue much excitement.
The Wallies then pissed everyone off by scoring again, with exactly
the same free kick as the first one. Bloody typical, can't anyone have
variety in their goalscoring?
We nearly came
a cropper when a rather heart attack inducing stunning goal-line
clearance was expertly turned onto the crossbar and out again by Wardy.
2-2 at HT. Second half, we scored with a free kick, this time by Everard,
who slowly but surely arose seductively behind the sensual cloth of
the Wallingford defenders, who could not resist being penetrated. It
has to be said we could have easily put another couple past them. Of
course, what you'd really be interested in was the fact that
we decided to play a bit like Southall today. OK, so we didn't quite
get to the GBH stage but we, ahem, put ourselves about a bit. And Wallies
didn't know what hit them (I can tell them - it was our feet) which
I'm sure put them off a bit. Remember that old motto of winning the
battle before you can play your football?
Enough of the boring shit here's the stuff you've been waiting for.
Plus points: We won. We beat Wallies. Excellent performance all round. Way we came back. Holding our own. Looking like we could have repeated scoring 6.
Minus points: Our defence STILL shits me up
The referee's a ......... : OK, he was that young kid who is much raved about. Gets a nice little writeup about him in Y&B and subsequently plays shite. OK, maybe he didn't but he did seem rather reluctant to give us many free kicks and was rather liberal in rewarding the other lot for similar challenges. Hmm. Guess he was a bit tired, you know? After all, he was probably studying for his GCSEs and was allowed to stay up late on Friday to watch the news. As for their linesman, I hope he takes the guide dog next game.
Them: They must HATE Merton teams. After having to suffer the indignation of losing to Vile, they now come a cropper against us. Took about 15-20 down, met the man called Stilez (I promise NOT to rub it in for him). Looked like Man City, played a bit like them as well. At the end, they really looked like they didn't believe it. See, this is what happens when you mess with genuine big clubs...
A policeman's lot is not a happy one: Quite a few more OB than normal, I suppose that could be down to (a) the high profile, (b) having about 95% of Thames Valley down for the last game, (c) threat of Oxford and Celsi discussing the weather beforehand. Still, looks like nothing happened and they went away quite content and counting their overtime.
If I had a song, I'd sing it in the morning: Noise today came from the sponsors - PISA to be precise. In truth, it looked like an old-style WFC awayaday with them turning up looking like they'd been drinking from 9am. The previous morning. Difference is, here they got to use the sponsor's lounge as well. And guess what - they made more noise than everyone else. Those who can remember what they were singing will not need me to remind them what was being sung..
Point to ponder: Do you reckon that we did well today because we kept pre-match hype to a minimum? No boasts about going top, no "this is the big one", no hyperbole causing us extra pressure. Have lessons been learnt? One would hope so, such bigging it up beforehand was never the Wimbledon style.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Your humble and esteemed editor saying he wasn't going to touch alcohol and actually mean it. (2) The partner of our chairman getting whacked on the head with a football before the game and rather ever-so-dramatically falling down like he'd been poleaxed. I understand that W2K wanted to sign him up. (3) Witnessing a Newcastle fan in black-and-white stripes carrying a shrink-wrapped AFCW shirt and an old fashioned rattle. I have no idea whether AFCW tried to take the offensive weapon off him, but he was eventually allowed to keep the Newcastle shirt on.
Anything else? Yeah. Something felt right today as I was sitting in the traffic jam out of the car park after the game. It was quite hazy, we'd turned a big club over, Joe Sheerin was walking out (well, limping out) and looked genuinely chuffed at everyone saying "hello" to him. You know what it felt like? Wimbledon circa 1986. Seriously, I haven't had that feel for a while. In comparison, I was around Selhurst Park this week and the place STILL makes me feel ill. Don't know what it signifies, but somehow you got the feeling that the professional Wimbledon lost it down the road. Today, we may have got it back. Is the proposed Ks buyout having a positive effect?* Maybe, we'll see, but right now, it feels nice...
* - yes, I know I'm still opposed to the buyout of Ks. It's called journo license.
So, was it worth it? Actually, this sucked. We were outclassed, outfought and made to look big time charlies. It was embarrasing and I am never watching AFCW again.
In a nutshell: Bet we lose our next game
27 March 2003 [PM EDITION]
I
now owe the KM buyout fund one of your English pounds. Why? Well, I
wasn't going to touch any alcohol and made this abundantly clear to
many. One AFCW fan bet me £1 that I would succumb when I smelt
the waft of alcohol. And guess what? When I got to the bar, I fell victim
to human weakness and hypocritically kept Guinness shares afloat for
another day. Proves I have an alcohol problem, especially when I haven't
had a drink. Mind you, being chemically numbed was probably the best
way to be when watching Dial-A-Pizza 1 Dial M For Merstham 0.
I know that like Man U, we are very good at grinding out results but
christ this one was painful.
Basically, Keith
Ward scored within 4 minutes and that was really about it - and quite
a few missed that. Our shooting at time found the sky quicker
than a US Patriot missile finds an Iraqi civilian. In fact, we did go
a bit circa 1986 with our arial aerieal areal high
balls. We had a couple of disallowed goals and all that, they sort of
got back into it but really it was hardly vintage stuff.
None the more so for that....
Plus points: We won. Without conceding a goal. Welcome return for Gareth Graham.
Minus points: Dull.
The referee's a ........ : Actually, he didn't do anything untowards really. Missed a couple of tackles and was told he masturbates by the West Bank but apart from that he was fine.
Song sung blue: TBH there isn't that much singing at our games are there? Granted, I normally go down the hardcore Athletics End but I was West Banking it yesterday and we really don't get our vocal chords sufficiently, er, vocal. OK, it was nice to hear a bit of a traditional airing of "Hey Charlie Koppel.....", "You can stick your Milton Keynes up your arse" and the legendary Champagne Song but are we the cauldron of hate that we need at times to shit the opposition up?
Point to ponder: Pretty low crowd TBH (though 2300 odd is still monster for most non-league games AND it beats the shit out of Franchise). I don't think people are getting bored, and evening games are never easy at the best of times, but this is starting to concern me a bit.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The sight of our chairman, Mr K Stewart, walking around carrying many cups of hot beverages for various stewards. Quite bizzare to see a man of high standing walking round like a dolly bird. Still, at least he wasn't carrying any cheese rolls. (2) Getting called a "journo" no less than two times last night. I have since ordered the fawn coloured mac and the trilby hat with "press" on it.
Did you know? The Merstham #2, Afis Giwa, works with an SW19 reader? Apparently he's very fast and plays well, and he's not bad at football either.
Franchise FC watch: They took 10 - yes, 10 - people to Naarwich on Tuesday. Reportedly bunged in the disabled sections (I will NOT make any further comment on that) and lost 1-0, buggering their playoff chances. I should laugh about how pathetic they are, but instead I'm angry. I'm angry because they're still around, ruining it all for everyone. Why the fuck can't they just fold up and die instead of hanging on pretending they're still viable? They are the turd in the toliet that just won't flush. How the fuck they've avoided Darwinism and still keep going fucks me off big time. Even now, the thought of Wankelmann and Koppout slamming their dicks in the door and doing horrible things with fruit in their meetings just irritates me. Hell, even the people of MK are wising up and they STILL can't get their hockey stadium or anywhere to even TRAIN up there. There's apparently a meeting with Koppout on 12 April, I wonder how he's going to top himself? They are like the heroin-addled waster smelling of piss and drinking a can of Special Brew, and it makes me sick they're still on this planet.
Anything else? Yeah, I needed that....
So, was it worth it? We won I suppose
In a nutshell: Next up is ... ulp... Wallingford
25 March 2003 [PM EDITION]
Well, for better or worse, we've now committed ourselves to buying Kingsmeadow for £3m by 31/12/02. As you probably should all know, this was decided at the Dons Trust's SGM, which whilst not full up was extremely well attended.
I suppose I could bore you all with the ins/outs of the meeting, like the knowledge that £9k is raised by Golden Goal, or that the DT is going to be the first supporters trust to get a "social audit", whatever that is, but I won't. Instead, I'll give my $0.02 on this whole thing. Don't expect it to be totally structured though.
Firstly, I'll state this from the off : I have ZERO problem at playing at Ks. I like it a lot, reminds me of Plough Lane in many ways and I always have thought that it would be wonderful to have a ground like that. However, something bothers me about all this.
Inbetween all the talk of fundraising exercises, like jumping out of aeroplanes - I'm sure plenty will pay for me to do it, most likely without the parachute - I detected a slight reluctance (or realisation) after the euphoria of voting for it. Now, I was pretty amazed that it was as high as 90% or so in favour, though I shouldn't have been surprised. It was certainly clear from the DT board on stage that they wanted people to vote that way. But I just can't help feeling that there was a "what the hell have we got ourselves in for?" vibe afterwards. Fear? Apprehension? Repressed excitement?
In a nutshell, every person in Wimbledon Theatre last night will need to stump up £3k each. We basically need to raise £3m, and we have £250k already for it. Already, I've noticed a problem - never mind the fact that getting £3k is nigh on impossible for many people, it seems like the figure has already changed from £4m from the initial press release ("However, we estimate that we need to raise £3m to buy Kingsmeadow and make necessary renovations. A further £1m will be needed to increase the capacity to 6,000" as cut-and-pasted from the AFCW official site). We'll need it to be 6k capacity for the Conference. Now, are people going to have to dig deep into their pockets again? Are there any hidden extras that could jump out at us which haven't been considered?
I have to say, £3m for an existing site in South West London is cheap. Very cheap. In fact, it seems too cheap. Why does (say) Plough Lane cost £14m and is subsequently unviable (and I'll come onto that in a minute) yet a similar plot of land in dare I say a richer area of London is a fraction of that? I know that negotiations have - reportedly - been quite favourable with Khosla and for that alone it's to be welcomed. And I suppose there are restrictions on Kingsmeadow's use which makes it that price. Even so, £3m seems too good to be true..
I suspect that at least part of the reason why people voted for the ground buyout yesterday was more to do with fear as much as a moving forward platform caused by a unique situation. As soon as the words "Noades" and "Ron" were mentioned you could smell panic. Indeed, if you had waved a blank cheque in front of people last night as soon as Uncle Ronald's name was mentioned I bet that somebody would have written a kite for £3m there and then. It's perfectly understandable of course, Noades' record with football clubs is reprehensible at best, and I think the sheer feeling of security motivated people as much as anything. Which I can fully appreciate, after all a nomadic lifestyle isn't always the best for a football club. And yes, being able to borrow money against an asset is a nice feeling for once, though I really hope we don't need to start doing that. Additionally, I heard mentioned that if we don't buy Ks somebody like a rugby club could. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
And if you WERE thinking what I was thinking, you'd immediately tune into the word "Merton". Now, I'm going to be controversial here and actually not make too much noise about returning to our own borough. Why? Quite simply, I want to take up the SWG's offer of seeing what conclusions they've made. I won't say much more.
Coincidentally, if you really want to be cheeky, T&M aren't in the best shape.....
Last night as well showed a deffo paternalistic attitude towards Ks themselves. Now, I don't want to see any club fucked about, been there done that got the stretch-fit t-shirt, but the point seems to be missed : if Ks go under, it will be their fault and their fault alone. It won't have that much to do with us, much in the same way as having Celsi on our doorstep was never any excuse for us not to do any marketing. I'm intrigued as to how us and Ks will co-exist : we obviously don't want to screw them about at all but at the same time, will they be happy with us nicking potential supporters? How popular are we with the average Ks fan? Grateful for us bailing them out, I'm sure, but I hope we don't get too self-congratulatory over this. If the shoe was on the other foot, I wonder how people would feel?
With Khosla, he doesn't need to sell Ks. He's independently wealthy, reportedly. He has also offered to make up a certain shortfall by 31/12/03. Which is good of him, though we shouldn't rely on that.
Although my reasons for voting for a continued groundshare were explained previously, I was interested to hear another justificiation for it - still groundshare and try and push the price down even further.
Quite simply, this HAS to work. If it doesn't, kiss goodbye to AFCW. I really do genuinely fear of the fallout if it doesn't happen - could people ever put money in again? Last night's lawyer bloke spelt it out in stark terms - people really could lose £3k of their own money.
Anyway, the die has been cast and we've got to live with it. So, how actually are people going to raise £3m? It's becoming pretty obvious that some sort of fundraising issue is going to happen, which is bound to offend some peoples' sensibilities. The most likely option I would imagine is a share issue, with perks added as well. Last night hinted that the DT would be the main bods still as their shares would be heavily weighted in their favour. Other than that, I really cannot see how funds will be raised without getting some external investment. Granted, I never subscribed to the "by the fans for the fans" mantra of AFCW, it was always going to be challenged whenever something like this came up. Not that I have a problem at all with external investment one bit, it's par for the course in the business world and I would imagine that some ideals will have to be compromised. One thing though, money always equals influence....
Other than that, there isn't really much more I can say. I'm still even now trying to place my finger on why this doesn't feel entirely right. I've been told to be "realistic" though as I will willingly repeat, if we'd been realistic on 28/5/02 we'd be planning our M1 excursions. That's why I never buy the "we can't return to Merton" thing. I guess I really cannot make that leap of faith over Ks, the memory of Selhurst Park will never let me accept being at somebody else's ground. Either that or I really AM an awkward bastard :)
23 March 2003
And
lo, on the 22nd of the third month, in the third (or is it fourth?) year
of the second (or is it third?) millenia, a phenom that shall engulf the
earth with chaos, disorder and a challenging of ideals, thoughts, protocol
and beliefs. For it was decree that the legendary Royston "Viagra"
Cappel refused the offer from a mere mortal of a fluid unit of a well
known alcoholic beverage. From the walls of Jericho to the hidden sub-aquatic
metropolis of Atlantis, an earthquake of shock and bewilderment vigourously
and catastrophically destroyed the very fabric of nature, humankind and
the British Brewing Industry. The unspoken cries of "No thank you"
to an offer of a purchase of said alcoholic beverage is one that may never
yet be heard again. Dazed onlookers wept with amazement, policemen and
government officials battled anarchy solely motivated through their own
shock and misunderstanding. Panic ensued everywhere. And Mr Cappel himself
was observed with intense eyes. Is this man a mere turncoat, a casual
observer would compose silently to himself, or is this an unusual set
of circumstances? In these troubled times, such a minor incident could
be the turning point of a turbulent time to come.
Such shocking behaviour that Mr Cappel turned a drink down has made me forget that it was Ford on a Northern Green 2 Nissan on the South Circular 6 and probably for the first time since Orient got drubbed by the same scoreline waaay back in 1984 we scored more than 5 in a competitive game. Given this and the story mentioned above, no wonder I'm late in writing this - shock can be a terrible thing you know. Oh well. Two hat-tricks (Bolger and Cooper) and much orgasmic pleasure was caused by the sheer knowledge of breaking the "5 goal" voodoo. Don't ask me about the game though, I wasn't paying attention.
The SP...
Plus points: Scoring 6 goals - nuff sed
Minus points: Defence still shite.
The referee's a ...... : Deserves a big kiss for giving us the penalty and letting us have the best opportunity of scoring the sixth.
Them: One of the most hospitiable bunch of people going. Gave us a free programme, nice writeup as well AND slagged off Wallingford to boot. Good stuff. Nice, tidy ground, pleasant club bar, their chairman (or was it manager?) gave us a nice speech in the bar afterwards, apparently. Even prepared a stand for us, which will cost them £400 to take down. And they let us score 6
Tir na nOg: There was a Gaelic Football club next door, forget the name of it though chances are it's some mythical Irish reference. Given some of our shooting in the first half, it's a cert that some of our players will next season be playing for London GAA.
Nee naw nee naw nee naw: Why the hell were there loads of OB there? Was it to control the delerious crowds that had seen us score more than 5? Funnily enough, Reefer Womble went a-hiding whenever nice Mr Policeman strolled around with his truncheon.
Ugly: Celsi fans en masse at Wimbledon station. Trust me, they ARE ugly.
Point to ponder: Have I mentioned enough times that we scored six goals in one game? No? Oh well...
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Scoring more than 5 goals in a game. (2) The somewhat bizzare march from the station to the ground by a steward. Purely to help us find the way, though I was looking out for little pockets of aggro from the legendary hardcore North Greenford massive. Need not have bothered though, even the Iraqi Army puts up more resistance around Basra than we got yesterday. Anyway, aren't these sort of things just so reminiscent of similar excursions around places like Burnley, Rotherham, Newcastle etc? (3) Yesterday had the pre-season friendly feel about it. Seriously. Especially the first half, reminded me of the hazy days of Boreham Wood. Aaah..... (4) We scored 6 goals.
Franchise FC watch: All right, they lost to our favourite Yorkshire team AND only 39 of their gimps bothered to travel all that way.
Anything else? Yes, we scored 6... (that's enough)
So, was it worth it? Probably
In a nutshell: We want six, we want six...
The
big news obviously about Ks is examined (hur hur) in more depth in Articles,
click above after you've finished reading about Planes 1 Trains and
Automobiles 2. Don't worry, this report won't take long to read :)
To be honest, there wasn't a lot to write about really. It was described
thus by a passing Womble at the end of the game : "It was about 30
seconds of football" and that's more or less how it stayed. We took
the lead, they equalised (I've no idea how, I was getting grub) and in
the second half we went up a landing gear. No real surprise we'd won.
Rather disappointing 600 there though, but then I think going to Feltham
scared a lot of people off. Shame...
Anyhow....
Plus points: We won.
Minus points: JS injured
The referee's a ....... : Lost it a little bit, though not on the same scale as G&G this year. Saw an inability to do the goalkeeper for punching our man outside the box
Them: Their fans are a bit annoying, stood near some of them and sounded a bit Spurz-like for my liking. Hey, we're keeping your club going you ungrateful tossers. Christ. Reportedly, two young AFCW spat at a couple of their fans, totally out of order but then I suppose if you get those sort of comments how can you be surprised? No class. Their ground's quite tidy though.
And of course, the main topic of conversation being... : The planes. Lots of them. Big fuckers they are and all. Noisy too. Had Al-Qaeda aimed for Heathrow last night and got one of Boeing's creations, there could have been trouble....
Truth is stranger than fiction: Your humble and esteemed editor got a bit hungry, so decided to down 3 bacon rolls and 2 cheeseburgers, courtesy Bedfont. To my absolute amazement, I still haven't had a heart attack
Franchise FC watch: They beat Palace and are now looking quite good. Then again, should you really be surprised? Their team should have been playoffs anyway. Reportedly about 300 gimps turned up, which I think suggests that everyone who does go to SP home games turned up for their last SP derby game. Can't have all come down from MK.....
Anything else? Um, not really. Three points is three points
So, was it worth it? Guess so
In a nutshell: We have take-off....
15 March 2003
Christ
O'Reilly, do I really have to make any sort of humourous, thought
provoking, full depth analysis of the pile of turgid dross that laughably
called itself 1984 0 Animal Farn 0? This was by far and away the
worst game of the season, an experience only matched by sticking one's
head in a refrigerator for an indeterminate period of time whilst watching
freshly splashed paint intently. Hell, even reading 100 Greatest Franchise
Excuses would have been preferable. Normally I don't mention what's going
on in the game because I have a bad concentration span. Today, I don't
need to mention what went on because nothing did. We hit the post - wow
- and that was it. And it was cold. Bah.
I will endeavour to do some sort of match report, however, like Thursday I am finding myself seriously wondering why I'm doing all this. I think I'm ill. Anyway...
Plus points: Well, we didn't concede a goal. The ref's final whistle
Minus points: Between 1500 and 1700 GMT, 15 March 2003
The referee's a ................ : Hell, even the referee didn't do anything untowards. He didn't start fights, get it so totally wrong even Koppout would complain, nothing. Yes, it was that bad.
Weather with you: Cold. Bloody cold. Arctic in fact. And this is the middle of March. Spring is round the corner and it felt colder than January.
Miiiiiiiilllllllllllllwwwwwwwwaaaaaallllllllll: About 80 of them turned up today, Burberryed up, naturelment, this must have been the only time they have ever been welcomed at a football game. The editor will not admit that, when we were a Premiership club, he used to watch Millwall on free Saturdays. Anyway, earned muchos respect for singing "We salute you Wimbledon", earned muchos quizzicle looks by singing "Chim chimmeny, chim chimmeny, chim chim cheroo, we hate the bastards in claret and blue" because....
Them: Farnham played in claret and blue. Bet they must have wondered what hit them.
Point to ponder: I did have one, but I think asking why any of us bothered turning up today was a good one. Bet the people who won WISA match sponsorship tickets must have wondered if the game was the booby prize...
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Stewards finding a 6" knife hidden by the Athletics End turnstyles. Found BEFORE Millwall entered the stadium. (2) A turd (no, an actual specimen of human excrement) found on the seat in one of the female cubicles. No more needs to be said, though over-hearing our stewards in dealing with this was one of the highlights of the day.
Franchise FC watch: Well, about 1.8k Millwall turned up there, so we can safely assume that there was about 2.1k there at most. Ignore the official figures, I trust they counted everyone there twice. Really, that proves the bleakness of the situation there now. Yes, I know that we only got 2.8k and some nonce will claim that Franchise are more popular, but let's consider the facts : we are a division 8 club. Franchise are a first division club. The very fact that there was about 100 more people at a South London Derby at the second highest level than at some pub team who plays at Ks says it all. Some Franchise people will claim it as success that they got higher than us today - me, I call it embarassment. I would actually be less embarrased to be in a threesome with a dwarf and a donkey*
* - in joke. Those who understand that are probably still laughing.
Some Millwall reportedly were going to go into the Franchise end today. I know I should really hope that everyone gets on together but really, I hoped that every single franchise twat was scared out of their brains and a couple of people (we all know who) got set upon. Bitter? Moi? They won 2-0 though.
Apparently, looks
like GA.com has left the Franchise nest, though he now has the Lebanese
Possessor Of Weapons Of Mass Destruction as his shifty boss. So, I wonder
if his "200 fans" comment which so pissed us off endeared
him to everyone still stands? Still, rats, sinking ships, and deserting
spring to mind...
Anything else? Please, no.
So was it worth it? Do not ask stupid questions.
In a nutshell: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
So once again, it looks like we've been rebuffed in returning to Merton. Last night at Crown House, the planning application which would allow AFCW to play at T&M was comprehensively rejected by about 6-1 (or 7-1, whatever it was). Basically, around that arse end of SM4 traffic is a nightmare anyway, and parking is predominantly shite, the local residents were quite adamant that it shouldn't go ahead and reportedly T&M didn't make a very good case for it. The phrase "sentences", "two", "stringing" and "couldn't" were bandied about.
So now what? Firstly, it makes the SGM on the 24th a bit pointless, it seems more than likely that we'll be at Ks now for the forseeable future. Secondly, it will hopefully refocus our ground efforts, which to be honest have been more dormant than a Franchise supporters club meeting. It will at least show us how exactly to approach Merton, how to deal with the residents etc, or rather how not to deal with them.
Thirdly, and most importantly, we are in a stronger postition than we may think. Once again, we have been "wronged" or "twarted" in our attempts to return to our own borough. Although SW19's views on T&M are well known, to strip last night's decision down to it's bare bones practically means that the London Borough of Merton have stopped us returning to our own home. And that for them is not good at all - they got lucky with MK coming just before the elections, which probably saved them and now they've had to do the first bit of actual manoevering, they've failed us. No, I know that it was T&M doing the moving and shaking, but we can twist this to our advantage. We've backed a plan and they've rejected it.
What we now know is what we need to do : it is quite clear to all and sundry that major (and I mean, MAJOR) cultivation will be needed. We've done very well on that score since we were formed, but now really is to take it to the next level. Already, the Joseph Hood site for the Academy will be the first time in a long while (ever?) where a team called Wimbledon will have put their own application in for anything and meant it. If LBM reject that, expect hell to pay - it could be a fatal blow for Merton. They certainly won't be able to be trusted again. If it suceeds, it will deffo give us encouragement.
The Stadium Working Group has claimed that it had identified at least three sites, and obviously anyone with half a brain will respect them when they won't tell us anything. I will however state this - I suggest that we go no further in the search for a ground than Ks itself : go down the A3 by all means, but AFAIAC even as far as Tolworth could be considered a little bit too far. Remember what SP did to us. If Ks really does become our only option, so be it, but we really do have to let the SWG do their stuff, get motivated etc before we admit defeat over Merton. Been there, done that, got the shrink-wash t-shirt. I don't know anyone who wants to repeat all that.
In many other more perverse ways, having this rejection is a blessing. It is still SW19's ultra-paranoid hunch that T&M was all ready to be signed and sealed given planning permission, and the SGM was a rubber stamp for it. I don't care how many people baulk at that last comment, it is sincerely held and I bet it wasn't just me thinking it :) Obviously, that can't happen now and a lot of potential uproar has been now thankfully averted. Ks is popular, even if only on a temporary basis. When people were looking around T&M forcing themselves to liking it, there were only going to be problems.
Some may consider last night a setback, I don't. If anything, it will give us fresh impetus over the ground thing. The ball is in our court yet again, but then was it ever any different?
13 March 2003
Yes,
I am fully aware that it's late. Shit happens, deal with it. I have to.
Anyway, there's nowt better than getting your own back, and Sycamore
5 Ash 3 more than adequately assisted on that score. Those there at
that game earlier this season will know why. Once again, we have a total
ability to score more than 5 goals in a game ever, and it was looking
a little hairy towards the end, but in all honesty it was a bit one sided.
First goal was a stunner by KC, could he be POTY? Would be a "Truth..."
if the other KC was to present it on the pitch. Second one was a good
old-skool scramble. Forget the rest though, I was too busy enjoying sticking
two fingers up at them. Childish, I know.....
Inwards and upwards...
Plus points: Revenge is sweet. KC's hat trick. Scoring more than five. Generally good play
Minus points: Defence STILL iffy. Did we go to sleep?
The referee's a....... : I wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing. At least he didn't lose it like the last ref we had for Ash did.
Them: Not a threat eh? Fuck knows what that makes them. Anyway, couple of things. Their goalie is apparently quite attractive, though I thought he looked like Oliver Kahn. Their #9 was a fat git as well. Perhaps the highlight for them (indeed of the whole evening) was the nutcase Ash fan who was singing very loudly (and very badly) Ash United ditties to the amusement (or is that bemusement?) of all standing less than 10 ft away from him. Sung loads of song about Ash playing in green and red, though I'm sure he was singing more about rent boys. Was more vocal than most of our lot though, even if he was getting irritating towards the end. And guess what - even when 5-1 down he never shut up....
School trips: Those who went to Hamburg (like me) and who raided the St Pauli shop (unlike me) were sporting some rather nice attire from the Bundesliga 2 side. So if you want to know what those skull and crossbone apparel was, now you know. Plenty of discussions about goings on in Hamburg, though personally I'm convinced it was all a load of bollocks.
Point to ponder: It was quite impressive that we got 2.4k there last night, considering it was (a) midweek and (b) the transport was buggered. Does that show once and for all to any doubters the pulling power of owning your own club?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Did I hear the return of KLF's "Last Train To Transcentral"? Or of the Dambusters after a goal? It seems like we're recreating the Selhurst experience again - right, who fancies the stewards trying to throw you out, people telling you to sit down, shut up and watch the football AND having Kris Stewart telling you to fuck off?* (2) The somewhat bizzare key-jangling exercise for our corners. No, I really don't get it either.
* - though as at least one of these things have actually happened to me this season it feels like I'm still at Selhurst. Altogether now, "Sack the board...."
Anything else? Yeah, remind me never to drink alcohol before a game ever again. Not even half a pint of Guinness.
So, was it worth it? Revenge is sweet.
In a nutshell: Who's next...?
8 March 2003
The
march continues, this time Cobh 0 Queenstown 5 was the order of
the day. Cobham came to Leg O'Mutton like lambs to the slaughter. Although
they made a mint out of us they were left feeling sheepish, having been
skewed, diced and served with chili sauce. Ahem. In all seriousness, it
was a bit one sided TBH, we went 2-0 up after about 20 minutes, then a
lull, then two goals in two minutes then a nice lob to make it 5. And
guess what - everyone was disappointed because we didn't get at least
six. Are we fast becoming a bit too Man U like for your average
socially aware Womble? Ah, who cares? It was too bloody cold to argue,
and the rain in the first half didn't exactly help
Let us continue..
Plus points: Another win. Against a top 10 placed side. No goals conceded. Ray Merry played well (can't see how Shims will get his place back). Looked sublime for much of it. Good breaking away.
Minus points: Franchise-like sideways passing. Defence is still iffy.
The referee's a ...... : Well, he started off OK. Then he sort of lost it a little bit. No, not in a G&G/W2K manner, but he did seem to blow up when un-necessary and miss the occasional bit of GBH and/or a penalty. Linesman enjoyed his day out though, reportedly seen smiling a lot of the time. Bizzare.
Them: Put out a nice beer tent for us, complete with a big screen and alcohol. OK, I can forgive them for the wind doing in their TV presentation slightly during the Old Firm war (1-0, haha), though Cobham didn't endear themselves to a couple of people when they didn't sell beer at half time. Police advice? Never mind, their tea was decent.
Police police me: Fuck me, did they look like they'd just come out of Hendon or what? I'm not 100% convinced that they'd ever seen that many people in one place before. Thankfully, they just let us get on with it, which is generally good policing.
SW19 Apology: The editorial staff of SW19's ARMY would like to hereby apologise to any person or persons offended by last weeks report likening the Feltham area of London as like something out of "Threads", in particular one such reader who threatened to take me to court on the legal argument that Feltham "isn't that bad". SW19's ARMY takes note of this, and will endeavour that on further occasions, Feltham will be treated with utmost respect and with no prejudice or disdain to the settlement shown whatsoever. This is subject to the pre-supposition that SW19's ARMY will want to step back into that shithole.
Coming on strong and firm: Matt Everard, who rose tantilisingly bulge-like for his goal, which excited the men as well. Good to see he's penetrating defences everywhere.
Point to ponder: OK then, why can we never, ever, EVER score more than five goals in a game? Are we cursed? Did we upset some Haitian priest once? Somebody somewhere must have shagged a witch (note: a real witch, not some vindictive old bag with a grudge). Yeah, that's what it is.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Didn't half smell of horse manure (2) Wasn't the Cobham goalkeeper short? I swear the CCL is a dumping ground for dwarves (3) Being informed by a local of the existance of the Christian Football League, where swearing is frowned upon and blasphemy is treated as, well, blasphemy. I am not making this up. I wonder if any chants sung to well known hymns are sung with its original, bible-bashing lyrics? Alltogether now, "Bread of heaven"....... (4) The gloriously titled "Between Streets" in Cobham. Yes, it's the actual name of the road, proper street sign etc. You've gotta love this level.
Franchise FC watch: Have to admit, most people didn't know they were playing today. Or care that they were playing, anyhow. So, they were sent to Coventry and drew 2-2. No idea how many of their gimps turned up (all from MK of course), it's really getting too boring now to make fun out of any of them. I think I might drop this feature soon, until they start publishing bollocks or indeed dropping bollocks again. Which won't be too far away.
Speaking of bollocks, looks like Mark Williams is off to Stoke. Well, I'm sure that Leilani likes his bollocks....
Anything else? Hmm, not really. W2K got postponed...
So, was it worth it? Yeah, I guess so. One day we may even see us get to six goals in one game.
In a nutshell: Ash, prepared to be burnt....
1 March 2003
And
another win, this time Feltham 1 Ford Open 2 was the order of the
day. Strange day as well. The whole surroundings were a little unusual
to say the very least, but more (much more) on that later. As for
the game itself, we deffo equipped ourselves very well on the plastic
pitch that I thought had died out along with Shoot magazine, Texan bars
and Tony Blair's credibility. QPR anyone? As sure as night follows day,
we went 1-0 down due to a bit of crappy defending. Mind you, that ball
looked it was going wide. We struck back with the erect one himself, Mr
Everard, from a corner. 1-1. Second half, more of the same really, though
we did deserve to get the goal. Sheerin looked lucky to stay on...
Rest of it? Hmm..
Plus points: Win. Away. On plastic. Fought back well. Generally solid.
Minus points: Can we EVER keep a clean sheet?
The referee's a ........ : Hmm, yes, well...
Feltham: OK then, who remembers "Threads"? For those who don't, it was a BBC film which was made in the mid 80s. It basically was a very graphic movie that showed what happens after a nuclear bomb is dropped on a British city, the various forms of mutation, society collapsing etc etc, go here for more info. Scary stuff, especially in the current climate, and could make anyone want to join CND. Anyway, walking into Feltham Arena today was how I would imagine post-nuclear Britain to look like.
I had visions of 1980s decaying Communist USSR when I saw the stand (see photo). The toilets were iffy and reminded me of school sports day. There were hardly any seats in the stand, and as you can see there was no roof. Which was very useful, considering it pissed down. The post-nuclear society was evident : there was a lot of dry powder on the field of play which was officially sand but I'm not totally sure. The Snickers bar, as (ahem) lovingly consumed by the WISA chairwoman (you should have seen her face whilst eating it) reportedly smelt of ketchup and looked mutated. I don't want to know what was in the coffee. Furthermore, because of the inability of grass to grow, they have to play on plastic. Even the dugouts looked like bunkers. Oh, and no bar : reportedly the police wouldn't let them have a beer tent.
The town, people etc? Dump. Shakespear Avenue is reportedly Sniper Alley, the whole area is a tatty shithole full of pikeys. Actually, that's probably why the police didn't let the beer tent in, would you trust the people round there? And at least we now know where all the country's fairground rides are stored.
Good news BTW, Feltham are moving out of there at the end of the season.
It's a knockout: No idea how many fatalities there were at W2K vs Southall, but they weren't answering their phone for half time. Presumably all lines of communication were destroyed in the conflict
Mouthy: Their bench. Their ballboy gave it some as well, shame he shut up when we scored.
Beware: Vile beat the other AFCW. Anyone considering going to Grand Dive Tues? They're playing W2K and I'm sure they'll be oh so pleased to see us.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The whole experience. Sorry to repeat it but it just has to be said. Their stand was very good once, then they built it. (2) The referee was black. Did reportedly suffer from a "war dance" comment. (3) The rain at the beginning of the second half was I'm sure worse because of the lack of roof. Either that or the nuclear winter was taking hold. If you went, check your skin tomorrow morning for acid burns. (4) Feltham's #12 had a wet patch where his anal passage was. What had he been doing? (5) Aren't planes big fuckers?
Franchise FC watch: They beat Reading 2-0. Yawn. More surprisingly was their attendance of 3,869 : slightly disappointing but putting it in perspective is appauling.
Question: What is it about the female species? Andrew Petty takes his t-shirt of to put on a playing shirt, displaying his torso and upper body and all the nearby women swoon. I seriously don't understand why they do this.
Anything else? Ask me later when I get over this radiation sickness
So, was it worth it? Yes, it made me appreciate SM4 a little bit more tonight
In a nutshell: Drop the acid pill