NEWS
23 November 2002
Our
cup final, and boy did we lose it or what? AFCW 3 AFCW 0 sucked. Seriously,
it sucked. A 2000+ attendance was treated to a few defensive errors and a
second half so devoid of any idea that we really needn't have bothered. OK,
I'm being harsh : from the time when we conceeded our first goal to JS's sending
off, we really did make the other AFCW look ordinary. How they haven't lost
a game yet I don't know. But we're now officially on a slump - three games
in a row lost - and our shooting has once again become as potent as a discussion
between the FBU and the Government. Methinks we need ideas bucking up...
Anyway.
Plus points: Not bad between 5 and 25 minutes or so. The final whistle.
Minus points: Too obvious to mention
The referee's a ................. : fucking prick. Well, that's what JS was alledged to have said to him anyway, and who are we to disagree?
Womble Aggro :
OK, there was enough OB outside after the game to make it a Prem match,
and despite no copper telling anyone what happened, here goes : Oxford United
fans, who had been warned were coming down (as their Kiddie game was called
off), came down. Reportedly some Reading and Stoke turned up as well. The
atmosphere in the bar right before KO was getting a bit "passionate",
which led your humble and esteemed editor to wonder aloud that it could go
too far. Anyway, at HT in the bar - after some verbals during the game - it
kicked off. Although the OB has absolved us of any blame, it did appear that
some of our lot retaliated after Oxford started it. Resultantly, lots of blood
(including one Dons fan with his face cut, see below), lots of broken furniture,
that sort of thing. Have we now got our own firm?
Wallingford: Usual quaint town/village type thing. Got a bit nervous walking around there before the game, in case I was mugged by a couple of old grannies and taken to a crafts fair, where I was made to buy a doylie against my will.
Points to ponder: (1) Why do we hype ourselves up to the point where we can't deliver? Seriously, this is like WFC all over again. Larging it up as the "big one" may give good hyperbole but it really almost every time backfires. Today feels like the end of the world if you believe the hype, but in the scheme of things it's a loss before half-way in the season (2) There needs to be a serious sit-down with AFCW and the other clubs in the CCL, because today witnessed the most unpleasant incidents this season, and probably the most serious one involving a Dons fan since the stabbing by a Sheff Wed fan in the 90s. Today, when one of the other AFCW players got his marching orders, he sarcastically and antagonistally clapped the entire stadium - that to my mind inflames situations. Really, our top brass should be telling the other CCL clubs that such behaviour isn't on, and if the other clubs won't tell their players to stop doing such stupid things, well........ We all know about Ash and G&G, and in instances like these, I sometimes wonder if it's worth trying to be friendly to all of these clubs, and whether it's really a one-way street if all we get are the oppo players winding us up and incidents like at HT today. Right now, one of our guys apparently has a rather nasty gash on him. That's when little incidents like I mentioned just now are followed to its logical conclusions.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The, ahem, "choo choo" train that ferried many a Womble to/from a BR station. Didn't go on it but was reportedly more reliable than Virgin Trains. (2) Your humble and esteemed editor being seen in a Volvo in the centre of Henley. My image of the salt of the earth, man of the people working class type anti-hero has been destroyed, and I am no more than a middle class nonce. I shall be down the Carlton Club if anyone wants me. (3) The somewhat bizzare sight of a kids penalty shootout going on and holding up the second half of the game. Not quite a bad idea, when you consider the kids were giving our players valuable shooting lessons
Anything else? Yeah. Wasn't it muddy? This is real non-league football of course, and methinks the Dons Trust must surely be doing DT wellies before long.
So, was it worth it? No
In a nutshell: Still a long way to go. In both senses of the word.
Shit.
Wank. Fuck. Bollocks. Koppel. We did NOT need Adult Prison 0 Young Offenders
Institute 1 tonight. Hell, we don't need it any night, but this wasn't
the best preparation for the massively hyped encounter on Saturday against
the other AFCW. It was one of those games from the dim and distant past, namely
we threw the kitchen sink at them (and if Bassey knew he would get away with
it, probably literally throw the kitchen sink as well). And they bloody scored
and we lost. Bah. We were never likely to score, it was fated. We even had
TWO players one-on-one with the goalie but did we score? Did we fuck. Hmph.
Anyway....
Plus points: Joe Sheerin returning and putting some tackles in.
Minus points: Losing. Do you think the players really wanted to get hurt?
The referee's a ......... : Oh dear, how shall I put this? He was the ref from Ash. Nuff said. Coincidentally, upon hearing this information, a rather impassioned "That twat? Go and twat him now" cry was heard from, ahem, somebody who ought to know better. Charming.
Why the result should not have stood: (1) Feltham were sponsored by Seagrave Haulage, who also sponsor the CCL. This is blatant commercial favouritism, and our ability to compete on a level playing field was severely impared. (2) The Ks floodlights were flickering strobe-like. Not only does this endanger anyone with epilepsy, but given past experience, such erratic lighting proves errant match results.
Quotes: (1) "If that was offside, my cock is a kipper" - somewhat unusual form of abuse there, likening a farmyard animal to a fish. (2) "It could be worse, you could be Michael Jackson's son" - and you thought it was just me doing bad taste comments about games? (3) "You mis-sold my pension you wanker" - me to the bank-manager resembling lino. Perhaps most disconcerting of all, he laughed and smiled knowingly.
Point to ponder: Why is it that every time we hype ourselves up, we fall to earth with a horrible bump? Tonight was no different to the Spurz six-game bonanza (ahem), and I'm sure you can find littered throughout Wimbledon history similar tales of woe. I blame Phillo :)
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) A 2500 crowd. Am I supposed to be disappointed or pleased? (2) There were some Feltham fans there, who actually did about 10-15 seconds of singing. Amazing. (3) Your humble and esteemed editor watching the Ireland game beforehand and forgetting to get a drink. Still, nice to see Glen "New York" Crowe of Bohs becoming the first LoI player for 14 years starting a game. I've got a t-shirt of him, don't you know...
Anything else? Yeah, I came very close to buying a fleece tonight had any been on sale....
Hello Mum: The speed of this report is dedicated to the guy (you know who you are) who wanted it up before he got into work. Here you are...
So, was it worth it? Urgh, not really. I could have been at home this evening
In a nutshell: Watch us stuff Wallingford
16 November 2002
Oh
dear. Village Hall 1 Southall 5 was a pretty Man U-esque way of ending
a however-many-it-was winning streak. Thankfully, it was the CC Cup as opposed
to either a league game or a LSC one.
This basically was painful to watch - as usual I didn't catch the team (or recognise them even if I had) but it appears that we had too many youngsters who didn't gel at all. Did we actually want to win this game? Somehow, I don't think we did (Wallingford decided to take the same approach, reportedly) and boy did it show.
I could explain what went wrong, but I'm not going to go through that again. So instead....
Plus points: Were there any? Oh yeah, Chris Theodore got his first ever goal.
Minus points: Everything else. This sucked.
The referee's a...... : Well, I didn't notice him that much. Others probably did though.
Quotes: "I'd rather be watching a Franchise game" - your humble and esteemed editor, whose coldness and general fed-up nature drove him to a point of insanity that may never be cured.
Twat: Some neutral at the end twittering on about ambition or something. And going on about grounds.
Truth is stranger than fiction : (1) Bovril at a game, first time I've had it in over 15 years. Sadly, no Wagon Wheel or option to buy Naris cola. (2) Was it cold or what? Bit foggy as well (3) Having two run-ins with my own designated steward, who must really enjoy that role I don't think. Firstly being legit absconded for littering (humblest apologies) and then having an official warning for the above mentioned quote. (4) The deathly silence when they scored was akin to a Franchise FC game. Speaking of which...
Franchise FC watch: The big news today there of course is KIR finally getting the hint and Foxtrot Oscaring. This is not only highly significant but highly puzzling as well. Remember that Roekke was one of the major forces behind MK in the first place, and the only logical conclusion is that he knows it's a dead duck project. After all, even Rent Boy was commenting that the Denbigh stadium would be about 10k capacity or something. So what now for them? I would imagine that KIR has written off his loan to be called in - if he hasn't, then bye bye Franchise. They will now be run by that super team of BRG (KIR's lackey), Koppout (nuff said) and - I presume - Wankelmann (coked up failed record producer). Hardly the board of ICI. The only other people really who could join are the misguided companies of MK, though given the current recession I don't think they'd be too happy with throwing as much money into that venture as KIR did.
Interesting also is Rent Boy's comments that Franchise will now be run more in England than in Norway. Has he and Roekke had a row? I can imagine Koppout arrogantly strutting round saying "I can make this a success" and KIR replying "well, here you go you rancid little piece of shit". Whatever, these are fun times for us (games against Southall notwithstanding)
Anything else? Yeah, I'd rather lose this sort of game than our next two. Just hope we don't lose confidence with this. Oh, and may I be bold and suggest these sort of games are £3 or something? After all, Raynes Park Vile charge you £3 to enter their hovel on Grand Dive for a normal CCL game and that's fair. We charge £2 for Y&B, which of course may tell you more about RP Vile....
So, was that worth it? Not exactly.
In a nutshell: Rats cock.
Firstly, a request - I've been asked by a couple of people now about the guestbook returning. I want it back quicker than anyone, but for one reason or another things are moving far too slowly. So I will beg any friendly person with full CGI server access to contact me ASAP. You will be fed alcohol. I could use one of those free ones that you get all around the place, but quite frankly I think they're absolutely horrible to use.
Now
that plea is out of the way, let's get onto more serious matters, like Merstham
0 Merton 2. And once again, it got a little bit too easy. Except for the
first half where the home side did seem to cause our defence a little bit
too much grief for my liking. Not too much though, their shooting is on a
par with ours half the time. We went up a gear during the first half, and
struck firstly through, er, whoever (bad I know) and then Cooper I think put
us comfortably in front. And that basically was it. Nothing happened in the
second half - I couldn't see, for starters - and when I did get down the front
it was as dull as fuck. Never mind.
As for the rest of it...
Plus points: We won. Away. Clean sheet. Apparently not our full side out.
Minus points: AFC Wallingford will do us big time if we don't tighten our defense up
The referee's a.......... Well, I didn't notice anything. Which is good
Dial "M" for Merstham: Another club who seem to appreciate our 1500+ support. Their chairman (nicely labelled up) was an old boy who looked like he'd won the lottery, the FA Cup and an unconditional offer of a blow job off Britney Spears rolled into one. Nice marquee and clubhouse as well.
Quotes: "This is like playing in a local village" - nameless female Womble. Actually, we were playing in a local village.....
Point to ponder: Do you reckon like I do that games could well be postponed this season for a totally muddy viewing area? It wasn't particularly swift today and it was dry. A downpour could well render some of these grounds unsafe...
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Rolls (ham and cheese/onion), 2 for £1. Did they get eaten in the clubhouse after the game? (2) A 15 minute delay for the start of the game. The third one this season. (3) The biggest traffic jam in Merstham after the game EVER. Probably. The locals looked a bit apprehensive, certainly. (4) The sale of those flying saucer sherbert type things : best avoided if you have any sort of sugar intolerance.....
Franchise FC watch: They won for the first time at Bradford, 5-3. Connelly scored a hat-trick but you just know he's playing for a transfer. Hope so, anyway. Reportedly took about 6 away fans with them.
Note the damage limitation and media spin that Rent Boy is having to do? It's got so bad that he has to waste so much time pleading his case (and he won). He's also attacking "former fans" in print now : I would suggest many things about him but I really can't be arsed to use clever things against him. So I'm just going to call him a spastic.
Anything else? Yeah, some Leyton Orient, Brentford fans there today.
So, was it worth it? Weren't bad, though we'll need to be 100 times better against the other AFCW next week.
In a nutshell: Watch Ditton beat us.
7 November 2002
Oops.
Once again the pressures of having to work for a living (for once) have taken
their toll and forced me to forget writing something up for Whizz 1 Bang
4. It was firework night, and of course it would be totally inappropiate
to put cliche after cliche about that particular night. Anyway, we went off
to a flyer (sorry), going two goals up. Unfortunately, it fizzled away a bit
(sorry again), with Cove having the temerety to score, after we looked pretty,
well, slow in defence. Our game upcoming against AFC Wallingford could be
more tricky than our current form suggests. Be warned
Anyway, it took a rocket (sorry yet again) up the arse from TE at half time to give us that spark (fed up yet?) we needed. We went up a gear or two, and exploded (it gets worse) into life with a penalty. Coops (I think) slotted home. We then had the Cove defence spinning like a catherine wheel (this is lame), netting again and sending various people into states of oohing and aahing (I'll stop there). In truth, we could have had 7 or 8, but 4 is good enough for the fire (OK, I'll stop there)
The rest of it?
Plus points: We won.
Minus points: We could have kept a clean sheet
The referee's a ...... : Could have been the victim of a bonfire (I said I'd stop, honest) but wasn't that bad.
Cove: Very grateful hosts, which is nice. Their clubhouse looks like a Marriot or Comfort Inn.
Dark: That alleyway behind the ground. A bit spooky (and a tad muddy)
Franchise FC watch: 664 or so officially, Sky counted 380. Now, who do YOU believe?
Anything else? Yes, next time I promise to write a better report on the game
So, was it worth it? Weren't bad.
In a nutshell: Plenty of fireworks (all right, that's it....)
2 November 2002
And
our run continues with some more weather that really should be made illegal
: Crook 2 Hook 1 was a bit more closer than previous games, but still
a win is a win. It was obviously very bad to play in, hell watching it was
a contravention of all the weather warnings the Met Office put out, and given
that the game in itself wasn't particularly wonderful that's not surprising.
Anyway, we took the lead, they equalised (and they had a gathering of about
9-10 fans there as well) and then we struck back about 5 mins later with an
acutely slotted shot after whoever it was (forgot, sorry) rounded the goalie.
Actually, I'll confess, I didn't watch much of the game as I wasn't wearing any glasses. The weather was poor (as you can probably tell) and as a result this ain't quite so long as it should be...
Plus points: We won. In bad conditions. Way we came back was good.
Minus points: Conceding that goal was dumb.
The referee's a ............ : I don't think he had a bad game meself, though others may beg to differ.
Call the NSPCC: Making those kids take the penalty shootout in the wet was a bit cruel. OK, so it wasn't exactly forcing them to watch Franchise but the little dears will catch their colds....
Quotes: (1) "That's wishful thinking" - your humble and esteemed editor showing his legendary powers of ESP in response to a "We're gonna score in a minute" just before the first goal. (2) "This will probably be a curler in the top corner" - your humble and esteemed editor demonstrating further his legendary powers of ESP just before the free kick which got our first goal. There's nothing more to add, except that I wish the white powder that Mr Winkelmann will draw into his bloodstream is safe and legal.
Apparently: Today is the day that the original Wimbledon (that's Wimbledon Old Centrals) was formed.
Truth is stranger than fiction: All right, it was fucking cold and wet. And my zip on my jacket broke. And my cap gave up the ghost as well. Real football, eh? Still, this does lay to rest the lie that we'd all bugger off to Franchise when the weather got lousy. And speaking of them....
Franchise FC watch: Won 4-2. Presumably playing well because they know the transfer window will be open again soon. Really though, I've almost stopped caring about their attendances because I know that they've now been permanently damaged due to the laughably large 849 they got at Rotherham. I said almost....
Anything else? Yeah, lager sucks before a game.
So, was it worth it? Where are we now? 3rd or something? If so, I'd say "yes".
In a nutshell: Where's my brolly?