NEWS
31 October 2002
Before I start - isn't it great that Crozier has gone from the FA? And isn't it great that the FA have now basically had their power usurped by the Premiership clubs? OK, the thought of professional football being officially run by people like Ken Bates isn't exactly pleasing to the stomach, but after the way the FA left us out to dry on 28/5 I have no sympathy for their soon-to-be-doomed plight. No, the Prem clubs won't have much time for the smaller clubs but then did the FA? And yes, I know that Crozier claims that he was backing us in the MK move, but do you really trust him over that? The way that he ignored York City's plight as well illustrates just how top brass manouverings are becoming more stench-like each passing day. Seriously, I'm sure I'm not the only one glad to be out of pro football.
And
back to proper football, where winning and honour actually means something.
Looks like Mahogany 4 Wood 0 was another step towards world domination
(LSC version) and really it was again a bit one sided. Looks like we'll have
to have a DVD out at Chrimbo just to rewatch the stunning goals that seem
to be de rigeur these days. Danny Oakins' fourth goal was another 35 yarder
which made the poor opposition goalkeeper wish he'd stayed in the nick. Other
than that, it wasn't the best 4-0 you'd ever seen but plenty of people enjoyed
it. And unlike Brimsdown, no bloody penalty shootouts either.
Let us continue:
Plus points: We won. 4-0. Decent all-round play. Using long balls effectively. DO's fourth goal - sublime.
Minus points: Bolger (?) going off.
Barometer points: Low pressure, probably about 950 or so. In other words, it pissed it down.
The referee's a .......... : Wasn't his name something like Valentino? Sounds like a rather iffy singer in a suburban Home Counties Italian restaurant. Reffing wasn't much better.
Woodford: Were they ex-nick or what? Goalkeeper looked like he was from Broadmoor and you just knew that the coppers wanted to lift the two Woodford fans in their Stone Island identikit.
Quotes: Perm any from the following : "He's a tub of lard" or "Roy Hattersley" by CUNW, "Kris Stewart" by a man known as BJ and "Man Mountain" by the God of Bad Animation. I will be sensibly hiding in the toilets when the goalkeeper comes a-calling.
Naughty: The Woodford #7 doing a rather public bean shaking exercise before/during/after being sent off. Now that's not very nice is it? No truth that they were hiding from the coppers in their coach after the game.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The first time it has EVER rained at an AFCW game. (2) Unbeaten in the London Senior Cup since 1976.
Incentive: ***IF*** we beat Bedfont in the next round we could get to play Tooting and Mitcham.
Anything else? Yeah, it was a bit confusing to get in wasn't it? To be fair to AFCW they probably won't try that again...
So, was it worth it? Yeah, guess so.
In a nutshell: We could see the wood for the trees....
26 October 2002
In
what is probably our first game at Ks in eons, we once again totally humiliated
inferior opposition. This time, Bag O'Shite 4 Leg O'Mutton 0 was the
order of the day, and really it was a bit too one sided : just imagine the
Pompey cup game in 1987/88 and you'll get it. Pretty much over by the beginning
of the second half, though, I put that down to our second goal. Which was
scored from the centre circle by our first ever hat-trick hero, Mr A Russel.
Yup, he got three of the four (KC with the other) with the second one being
from the centre circle. Get the video, I think Cobham were in shock. Hope
he didn't keep the match ball, they're expensive.
Elsewhere....
Plus points: Another win. Another clean sheet. First hat-trick. Simon Bassey (I went to school with h.. oh, you knew) and Sully linking up very well. THAT second goal. KC's free kick was good as well. All round play. Oh, and Ash losing
Minus points: Any? Hmm - learn to shoot and we really could get 9 or 10.
The referee's a ............... : Wasn't bad as it goes. Didn't notice him, certainly.
Them: They wouldn't even have scored on a date with Ulrika Jonsson.
Chants would be a fine thing: A very lame (trust me, it was very lame) version of "Ally, boombuya" rang out from, er, three of us after Russel's third goal. Elsewhere, is it me or are the chants dying down a bit? Quite quiet for a lot of the time, though the Champagne Song did get its usual ironic airing.
Disturbing: One of our players was described by a hetro male AFCW fan as a "minx".
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) That very disturbing bloke with the pink tutu and the pig umbrella, who looked a bit out of it at the end. I seriously hope he was doing it for charity. (2) Kick Racism Out Of Football. Never seen an AFCW version of their banner before, I don't think I ever saw a Franchise one certainly. Very well received, though personally I find these sort of things tokenism at best and toothless at worse. Time will tell if these things work, like the amount of ethnic minorities who come through our games. I don't really consider racism has ever been a problem at AFCW/WFC, certainly not in my experience, granted there will always be a couple of idiots but then there are probably similar people currently walking round the British Museum or out shopping in Brixton. Anyway, let's hope the club's pitch to in particular Kingston's Korean community pays dividends.
Franchise FC watch: Drew 1-1, Sheff Utd scoring in the last minute. Ha ha. No idea how many went up there, but it's reported that they were due to be given an executive box or two and the away end given to home fans. Heard a couple of very interesting theories about Franchise's future plans before the game, but I'm keeping sctum.
Anything else? Yeah, who told Phillo to describe me as being "known to many Wimbledon fans" at half time? Am I that well known? Thanks for the birthday message anyway, AFCW.
So, was it worth it? Even if it was for THAT second goal, then yes
In a nutshell: Watch out Wallingford.
19 October 2002
Before I start today,
can I point out to everyone who threatened to kill me and place my rotting
corspe in front of Koppout's house asked me about the lack of a Walton
report that there is a bit in the disclaimer (what do you mean you've never
read it?) that states that I update when I feel like it. Thank you
Anyhow,
our run contines, and John Farnham 0 John Bon Jovi 1 was one of those
frustrating kinda afternoons. We won in something like the 87th minute - Oakins
scored, I think - and Farnham weren't much (I saw them against the Vile and
had we not won then heads must have rolled), but we really could have got
3 or 4 nil. The main problem was our shooting, lack of thereof. Granted, I
don't expect the standard of shooting to be on a par with a sniper in a white
van driving around Washington DC, but it really did suck. Every attempt on
target seemed to go high or wide, and christ we miss Joe Sheerin. Really miss
him. Still, a win is a win.
Let us continue:
Plus points: We won. Kept a clean sheet. At least we knew how to get forward. Good crowd.
Minus points: The RMT are better at striking.
Really ugly point: The traffic on the A3/A31. Not nice
The referee's a ................. : Quite good as it went, missed a couple of decisions by his linesman but that was about it. Rather disturbingly, he smiled a lot.
Pleasant: Farnham. Very picturesque. I am sure the Crafts Fair which clashed with our game was very fine, and no doubt a pou pourri of hand-woven garnments and articles were displayed and admired by many.
Sing, sing, sing: "You're so shit it's unbelievable" was the only real worthy one, that and "Can you hear the Farnham sing?". Some anti-Palace stuff as well from the occasional person, though really considering who they were playing today, it was quite dumb.
Weather with you: OK, work this out. Some claim it was hot, others claim it was freezing. Is this going to be the norm for non-league? Or has the general amount of alcohol consumed by AFCW fans finally played havoc with our internal heating systems?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Just who were those reprobates who steamed into the housing estate car park before the game starting to cadge a free view? Yes, I'm talking about YOU (I know who you are) - and I'm accused of being tight. (2) That big grass bank which many consider to be like the Spion Kop or the North Bank. Presumably before either of them were constructed. (3) Delayed kickoff? Blimey. Third one this season on our travels.
Hello mum: Somebody decided that they would spend a great deal of time looking at a steward's arse.
Franchise FC watch: OK, so they drew 2-2 in front of their biggest crowd of the season - but 6k for a MAXIMUM really sucks the big one, even more when you consider that 95% of them were Palace playing on their own ground. Reportedly, 3 MK coaches came down, no doubt at a tenner a lob. Costing them more money. Still, they're in the bottom 3 after Wednesday did us a favour. How long can they keep that charade up?
Anything else? Something on the game itself perhaps? Nah, an idle thought for you instead : maybe the reason we never get to see the home fans at our away games is because all of them are working for the club on that particular day. No idea what Farnhams' average is, but when you consider that they had 3 people on the turnstiles alone, maybe we shouldn't be surprised. Still, as in most cases this season, they seemed to enjoy our company.
So, was it worth it? Yeah, why not, it was a nice day out. My legs bloody hurt though
In a nutshell: We're getting there.
17 October 2002
The sharp eyed amongst
you may have noticed that there was no Walton report as promised. And I unreservedly
apologise for that. There are many reasons for this, but the primary reason
is that I have simply just woken up from the coma that game enduced in me.
It was seriously dull, enlivened only by us winning 4-1 on penalties after
extra time, the goalkeeper having a strop and somebody luzzing a can of Fosters
onto the pitch. In other words, I really didn't want to do it. Hell, I even
watched the England match instead, which considering I don't support them
at all proves how bad it was. Oh, and did you buy your Dave Beasant quotation
t-shirts? Why not?
For future reference, I will try and get more reports done, but as I'm starting full time work again soon, please don't yell at me if they're not qute as immediate. Saturdays should be OK as it goes, but weekday? Hmm..
Onto other things, and in followup to last week, Franchise have admitted publically that they can't move to the Bowel by Boxing Day after all. This despite flyering and Koppout strutting round telling everyone to expect the team up there for their post turkey treat. Looks like the only stuffing is going to be Koppout's arse - basically, MKFC need to pay KIR anything between £6m and £10m by 31 December 2002. Wankelmann has said in print that MKFC have to be up in MK by Xmas otherwise the success of the franchise is seriously buggered. Given this past year or two, which has resulted in mental (and physical) torment for probably most of us, this will be the ideal reward. It's worth keeping an eye on Franchise from now till Xmas certainly, what they will do could depend on what will happen to them post loan repayment.......
10 October 2002
Oh boy, can we stop laughing now? No? Oh OK. While that's going on, it's time to continue on one of SW19's favourite pastimes, Franchise Bashing. They really have had a shit couple of days haven't they? Firstly, BRG yesterday says that bankrupcy is a legit option. This in SW19's view was to put pressure on both the Football League and Milton Keynes Council (how ironic). The FL in particular were oh-so-conveniently meeting today to decide whether or not to let them go to a temporary stadium in the MK Toilet Bowl. No rats smelt there.
This morning, Koppout was on Radio 5, giving the usual tired old spin. However, he did make a couple of points (I didn't hear the interview - I was in bed - but he reportedly sounded nervous and not confident at all) that were ear-pricking. Firstly, he blamed the meeja for concentrating on "another team" - AFCW - and not giving any coverage to Franchise. Now, given that AFCW have bigger crowds, even somebody like Koppout could have seen that. The other point is that yes, if things don't get going by 2004, then the plug WILL be pulled. Nothing we didn't know, though keep that last sentence in your mind, it gets better. Oh, and he said that the FL decision was a "formality".
Anyway, this afternoon, the Football League met and TBH I was 99.99% convinced that they would say "yes". Except they didn't. They "deferred the decision", requiring more information. So in other words, they are trying to drag this process out as long as possible without trying to reject it. A sensible move - you could bet Wankelmann's coke supply that if a "no" decision was made at 2.30pm, at 2.31pm Rent Boy would be round the lawyers instructing the FL to think again.
So where does this put the whole she-bang now? In serious limbo, that's what. If anything, this is the worst thing that could have happened to Franchise. If the FL had said "yes", Rent Boy would have been on the phone to Pickfords immediately. We all can guess the consequences of a "no" decision, so this one is the next best thing. Are the FL trying to bankrupt Franchise by stealth? And what exactly have MKFC forgotten to put in their submission? Apologies for nicking off the WISA press release, but you would think that something as big as this would be properly thought out by Franchise? Yeah, I know. Wouldn't surprise me if it relates to the Denbigh thing - Asda's joint application is likely to be called in, IKEA seem to have decided to go to Northampton instead and planning permission is still nowhere in sight.
What can Franchise do? They have obviously burnt their bridges here in the city of London. They are having to bus people down at great expense from the town of Milton Keynes. They can't now go to MK as promised on Boxing Day, which will seriously piss off those who live in MK (Franchise not fullfilling promises made to fans? Surely not). Even a trip up to the MK Shopping centre on Tuesday didn't exactly inspire people - it certainly wasn't mentioned on their web site. Is the whole thing falling apart? Well, KIR is likely to recall his loans in December, he might just hold off until then to see what happens if/when this info is submitted, though if it was too (ahem) dodgy in the first place then it may never see the light of day.
Straight afterwards, Koppout got hold of London Tonight (associated with the Koppout meeja clan, naturellment) and claimed that BRG was misquoted. So, he spent all that time defending a misquote. Yeah. Either he's lying, or the level of communications between Koppout and BRG are so bad that neither of them know what the other is saying. Given the way that the whole operation is running itself, I suspect that BRG is nearer the "truth" than Koppout. Anyone can see that that club cannot afford to keep going much longer. They have a cheap kit, their sponsorship deal must be negligible, Gareth Ainsworth is now on a third of the wages he was on, they haven't bought anybody, really - are we seeing the last throw of the dice?
Will it be sad if they finally collapse and die? No, it wouldn't. They deserve all of this. I have no sympathy for them, for any of them (Mark Williams and Neil Shipperley excepted of course). The thought of being at SP waving to Uncle Reg on the day they are announced bankrupt is almost wet dreamish. Some may want to dance on it's grave, though I will suggest they do that before I take a massive shit on it
While I still think that they will somehow - somehow - keep going, I can't see much of a way back for them now.
Meanwhile, we can sit back, laugh and contemplate watching us play Walton this Saturday
5 October 2002
Thanks
to Joe Coral, I was able to write this report up without relying on my increasingly
appauling short term memory. So, here goes : God 1 Satan 3 was weird,
because despite it being a win, nobody was talking about the actual game itself.
Nobody was talking about Kevin Cooper's return to form with two pretty stunning
goals. Nobody was talking about Danny Oakins' totally flukey mishit shot
expertly crafted lob. Nobody was even talking about their admittedly well
struck goal. It was all about ... well, you'll see later on. As for the game,
we really did enough to warrant the win, G&G weren't really at it that
much. Still, can't knock 3 points.
As for the rest of it....
Plus points: We won. Kevin Cooper seems to be back in confidence. Should really have been 3-0 up by 20 odd minutes.
Minus points: Conceding a goal. Joe Sheerin's hamstring gone - out for 6 weeks now.
The referee's a ........... : Oh gawd, how can I write any of this without breaking libel and slander laws even further than before. OK, compose thyself : the referee, nameless as I seriously doubt he has a legal birth certificate, was described very early on in the game as Napoleon. Reason being that "he looks little and has got a power complex". I will ask said person in future for lottery numbers as rather spookingly (and disgustingly) that's exactly how it turned out. Things were going relatively OK for the first 60 minutes then he lost it big time. To sum up his performance without me getting sued, he played 20 minutes of injury time, he sent off Robbo, TE and Paul Braham (our fitness coach) for breaking up a fight. He booked Simon Bassey as well but then who hasn't? Those there can doubtless fill in your own expletives for him, personally, I think the guy saw the crowd and lost it. Either that or he is having sexual liasons with Koppout, Wankelmann and a decapitated deer from Richmond Park.
And if you think it couldn't get any worse, he's an ex-Prem ref and is (ahem) officiating us next week at Walton. That is, if the little chickenfucker can shake off the police escort he reportedly received after the game.
Womble Aggro : All of these are alleged incidents, no legal burden should be placed here at least (especially as I blatantly nicked them from other places). Reportedly the G&G manager told his players to do Oakins at HT. That was the instruction - singular. At the end of the game, their number 8 got - or was attemptedly - punched by one of our rather irate fans. This was followed by people shouting abuse through the ref's dressing room, and - reportedly - their players throwing stuff through the dressing room window back at us. Now, I did hear afterwards that the CCL could see fit to deduct points, if so I suggest a huge effort to legally get them back - what I saw today was one of the most disgraceful refereeing performances in over 20 years of watching soccer. And there was me wondering before the game why coppers were needed at this level. Shame the players of opposing teams see fit to throw spanners in the works when their clubs are making all that effort to welcome us - wonder if the players stayed for a drink afterwards?
On a more pleasant topic: Godalming town centre is quite nice. Full of old people, a few genteel tea shops and a closed kebab shop. Pleasant riverside walk too, shame Guildford is a dump.
Sing for your supper: When we weren't trying to discuss the ref's performance in a vigourous and impassioned manner, the target of our acerbic wit was the opposition goalkeeper. "Keeper give us a save" and "keeper give us a twirl" were two such lyrics (and yes, he did do the second one). He came out with loads of credit and can justifiably boast to his mates at work on Monday about his Saturday afternoon. Other than that, nothing really, though a "You're not singing anymore" to the 5 G&G fans did raise a wry smile.
Female of the species: The G&G physio was female. Was seen walking out of their dressing room with rubber gloves dangling from the fingers, and many of their players seemed to require her attention. Hmm. SW19 is of course an equal opportunities webzine, and would therefore not like to comment on the scurrilous lie that due to a woman physio, the G&G squad have the highest number of stiffened groins in the CCL.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Did I really see David "Celsi Chief Executive" Barnard in an AFCW top with Peter Miller there? And did he really yell "Get off the pitch" to me at half time? And did I really jokingly flick a "v"-sign at him back? (2) The nine hole, par 3 golf course next door, which didn't actually look too bad. About 19 golfers decided to watch the game instead of doing their round, of which four spent the whole game there. Leaving one Womble to decree "Oi golfers, pay your money". (3) Rather like the Reebok Stadium, the players came out two different players tunnels. Given the after game shenanigans, that's maybe just as well.
Anything else? Did I mention what a cunt the referee was? Oh yes, I think I covered it
So, was it worth it? This was strange, I don't recall being so angry over a win before. At least not due to events on the pitch.
In a nutshell: Beware of the MIB. Or is that DIV?
4 October 2002 [PM EDITION]
Oops,
looks like I forgot to do anything whatsoever for Bedrock 5 Bedfont 1.
And I didn't have a pen on me whatsoever so, er, here goes.
We won 5-1. We let a crap goal in before half time. Simon Bassey got sent off quelle surprise. It was 2-1 up until about 12 minutes. They collapsed. Couple of their players gave it large. Went silent at the end. Keeper is still considered a queer cunt by many on the West Bank. People love the internet commentary. And we are gloriously ahead of Raynes Park Vile. Right, will that do? Normal service soon.