Untitled Document

You are going down, say you are going down

Wombles 5 QPHa-ha-ha 0 was the ideal bounceback after Wycombe. We started off quite flat, though I can see why QPR are very near to going down. After a bit of huffing, puffing and very little inbetween, Mark Williams buried his voodoo of Tuesday and netted. Much rapture. After the restart, we piled on the pressure and should really have had a goal which really did cross the line. Much more over the line than the 1966 World Cup goal, shame the ref didn't think so. Bastard. After some inspired play by Wu-Tang and Wild Thang, we really did go 2-0 up and then it was all through traffic from there on. Williams netted, Euell twice and Gayle (yes him) completed the ritual humiliation. And when Hawaii Five-0 came on the tannoy, boy did it feel good.....

Plus points: Scoring 5 without reply and winning. Some of the football played was sublime. Wild Thang just looked class. Wu-Tang and Wayne Gray will look the bizz if they continue in this vein of form. Insert your own plus points here, there are too many of them to name

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Was WFC vs QPR a top flight staple fixture until recently? (2) And did QPR really beat us 2-1 at Loftus Road this season? (3) I think this is our first victory this season against a London team.

Quotes: (1) "On paper we should beat them". "Yes, but we're not playing on paper, we're playing on grass". Discussion between two WFC webmasters before the game. This becomes relevant later on. (2) "You said we were playing on grass, but we're definitely playing on paper". Same webmaster to other same webmaster. This is the level of conversation us technogeeks often stoop towards.

Morons: QPR fans. Tried to wind us up before the game by chanting "One Lawrie Sanchez". Accused us of not singing when we were 3-0 up - obviously been listening to Bush too much - and one of their websites afterwards accused WFC of not belonging in the league. Did you know that during the 80s QPR were the team that yuppies supported? No wonder they're going down.

One more thing, and I don't wish to be soppy or anything like that - as you can probably tell, the above report is a little bit subdued, I'm sure most of you know why (if you don't, my nan died of a heart attack late last night and naturally it's quite a shock to the system). I appreciate people coming up to me and being really supportive, it's gotten me over this rather trying last 24 hours, believe me. Thanx to you all once again. Bloody hell, I'm going to start crying in a minute......

Few odds and ends to tie up : firstly, as I forgot to mention in the last write-up, Robbo's gone back up norf again to be near his family. One of the Dundee clubs have taken him on loan : I think it's United but others say it's Dundee. It's a shame that it's never worked out, but if it's felt that he's a total pain in the arse, best let him go. We want £1.5m for him anyway.....

Fallout from the Wycombe game : TB got sent off during the game, so at least he's arrived as a legendary WFC manager :) Not quite so legendary was Lawrie Sanchez who amazingly claimed that his side was the best over the two legs - considering they never went in front before the penalty shootout and were outplayed for a great deal of it, it's a bit rich. And it puzzles me as to why some people still love him. Never mind, the truth will out.

Speaking of Wycombe, go to Trond's site, the guy has gone from legend to absolute deity in my eyes...

Reserves lost 1-0 to Coventry last night. Last minute own goal. Deja vu. And don't ask me who scored because I haven't a clue. In fact, I only recognised about 2-3 players on the whole pitch. And no, Michael Hughes didn't play. I think he was down the pub complaining that TB wants to play him on the left.

Finally, and just in case I forget, there's a WISA meeting tonight at 7.30pm, at the Wimbledon Community Centre, St Georges Road, London SW19. All welcome, there's some pretty vital stuff going to go on re: the new ground, so if you can go, go. I should be there, unless something happens to me, so I'm sure it'll be constructive :)

Arse, arse, fuck, bollocks, wank, shit, bugger. Ikea 2 MFI 2 and losing on fuck knows how many penalties. To be totally and utterly honest, the reason we're not going to Leicester this season was our own fault. If we can't beat a lower division side with 10 men then we don't deserve to get through. We started off OK, but maybe the tiredness factor so talked about finally told. I'm sure there will be a few post mortems bandied about - frankly, I don't really care. I would hope that this game is a learning curve, the result showing how we should take NOTHING for granted. We start again on Saturday, against QPR. That's our priority now. And fuck, do I hate losing.

Plus points: Wild Thang's goal. Wayne Gray's first goal - maybe he'll be the guy to do what we expect Wu Tang to do. Our fixture backlog should be lessened somewhat now. And at least it'll be cheaper.

Minus points: As said above, if you can't win against a lower division side who have only got 10 men, and having never been behind in any of the ties, you don't deserve anything. Methinks that penalty taking will be a training ground priority tomorrow.

To rub it in: Their first goal was offside. Phase fucking two million apparently.

Truth is stranger than fiction: This I think is the first "proper" game we've played since we became a league club where we have lost a penalty shoot-out. The Portsmouth Centenary tournament does not count.

Spotted, looking extremely POed: CK. Takes losing quite badly, does Charlie.....

Quotes: (1) "Two - one, to the referee" - Wycombe fans. Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh. (2) "Ask yourself this - if in August you were told that WFC would be in the 5th round on a penalty shootout, you'd take it" - my dad. (3) "I didn't fancy a trip to Leicester anyway" - jokey comment from certain editor of a Politically Unsound WFC webzine, just before the penalty shootout. Oops.

Scapegoat: (1) Me, obviously. (2) Marcus Gayle. Not popular around block D at all. Showing about 1% effort didn't exactly endear him. (3) Anyone who was looking forward to Leicester, phoning them up about tickets, planning how to get there etc. Dare I mention the words "hatched" and "chickens"?

If it makes you feel better: Southampton were 3-0 up away to Tranmere at half time. At full time, they lost 4-3. Ha.

As for Wycombe...... : I hope they get to the final. I really do. And lose 5-0 to Tranmere. Bastards.

Arse. Wanderers 2 Static Defense 2 and yet another bloody replay in the world's premier cup competition. Arse because we were 2-0 - two fucking nil - up and yet we were hanging on at the end. Here's the crack - we go 1-0 up thanks to Mark Williams, who careers through the crowd. We then boss the game some more and go 2-0 up thanks to a debut goal by Wu-Tang. Cue pandemonium and your esteemed editor maybe getting himself on the TV cameras acting like a complete loon. I'm the one wearing a leather jacket and a baseball cap. Second half, and we bossed it some more, had two good chances to make it 3-0 and you can guess the rest. So yet more fixture pileup and suffice to say I'm not happy. Come to think of it, my bank balance ain't too happy either. Ah well....

Plus points: When the draw for the next round is made, our name is still in there. Bossing the game for all of the first half and about 15 minutes of the second half. Wu Tang scoring his first, here's hoping it's not his last. Defense for first half was pretty good.

Minus points: There is a theme tune to this game, by Phil Collins - isn't it called "Throwing It All Away"? Severe lack of concentration cost us the game. And the fact that the referee's guide dog was eyeing up a nearby police hound INSTEAD OF DOING ITS FUCKING JOB PROPERLY. Sorry.

Spotted: One E. Olsen at the game. Guess he must get a feeling of deja vu at the way we collapsed. Still, nice to know that he still cares about us - wonder what he thinks of WFC TB style?

Sad: Wycombe play muzik at corners to rile up the crowd. Now what lame-ass team with no sense of pride, decency and honour would sanitize their whole footballing experience by artificial and cliche rythmic percussion? (er.....)

Sad x2: Examine the picture to your right. This is the Wycombe furry mascot. Please notice the amazing similarities between it and ex-WFC pisshead John Hartson. Especially striking is the ginger hair and the rather (ahem) "stout" build of said mascot. Certainly all the cheeky WFC scamps there were pointing this out in their own unique way. Well, a quick rendition of "Are you Hartson in disguise?" was the order of the day, certainly.

Inappropiate: Singing the Champagne Song to Wycombe fans. Come on, living in Wycombe is as cheap as living in Wimbledon (ie not very).

Says it all: The SW19 BastardMobile, in association with Nissan, Circuit City and the Rollins Band took 1 hour to get from Bucks to SW19 Towers. Which is only half an hour more than Selhurst to same destination.

Truth is stranger than fiction: Is this really Wycombe's highest attendance ever? Certainly gate-receipt wise it is. Well, the bastards charged us £20 and £3 for a ~~glossy series of adverts and poorly written shite~~ commemorative matchday magazine celebrating Wycombe's magical achievements.

Quotes: (1) "They're all inbred" - the certain un-named Womble who contributes to this site, lives in a scummy area of London and is still demanding royalties off me, about Wycombe fans. What - just because they live in the sticks? Or because they all speak funny? (2) "Nice arse" - comment about one of the Wycombe cheerleaders (female) by an aquaintance of mine behind me. I hope for his sake the woman in question is of legal age. (3) "They have unique fans who have to suffer a lot of adversity" - Lawrie Sanchez on Crapital Old about WFC fans. I can almost forgive him for his pro-Dublin/MK comments after that. Almost.

Also: Apparently, Sanch said in a newspaper today that he lost his job at WFC because he crossed SH. No shit....

So, was it worth spending £20 to go up to deepest Bucks only to see us throw away a 2-goal cushion ensuring we'll have to repeat the whole damn charade this coming Tuesday?: Yes, because Adams Park was my 58th (approx) new ground. No because I'm fucking sick of replays.

Woohoo - FA Cup upset or what? Nationwide 3 Premiership 1 was quality. So quality in fact that it's well past the midnight hour and I'm as hyper as I was the minute I left the Shithole. Anyway, must calm down. Oh fuck it, no I can't. This was brilliant : true, we went 1-0 down just before HT, complete with Paul Ince attempting to large it (watch how he ran off as soon as we responded), but a PENALTY by Ardley, then strikes by Jason and one Johnny Hunt - the very man himself - capped off a superb performance. The crowd was up for it, the players were up for it, the whole event was, well.......

Plus points: Abridged - we won. Good. Very good. Against Prem opposition. Against Prem opposition who hadn't been beaten in a while. Excellent performances from everyone. Wayne Gray looked cool. Neil Ardley looked sublime. Our defense looked the dog's testicles - since when did Boro have a shot on goal apart from their goal? The way that we came back after going 1-0 down. The way we kept pressing after 1-1. The second half performance through to the final whistle AET was the best I have seen from any WFC team for well over a decade.

200% Cunt: Paul Ince. Paul "Loudmouth" Ince. Got slung out of Man U for slapping around youth team players (literally). Calls himself the "Guvnor" - nobody else does. Likes to pretend he's hard, but really has the biggest yellow streak of any pro footballer I've ever seen

Watch out Lennox Lewis: The punch landed on Mark Williams by the Boro player. Actually, it was a well executed southpaw, and had it been in a boxing ring instead of a football field, it would have been worth a knockdown. Shame he got sent off for it (ha ha)

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Boro were unbeaten under Venables before now. (2) The long queue for the Wycombe tickets. Which is why this report is being written in the early hours of Valentine's Day. (3) The price of Wycombe tickets. £20. This had better be bloody worth it. (4) Meeting many on-line Wombles, including one Marko Glynno.........

Quote: "That guy has forgotten to take his anti-twat pills this evening" - a very well known WFC internet guru. Obviously took them at half time.

Hoorah - we've done the double over somebody for about the first time in 300 years. Trouble 4 T'Wednesday 1 was a bit of sweet reward for the corresponding fixture last year, in keeping with the horrific stuffing we gave them this year up at Hillsborough. We were 2-0 up in 10 minutes, through Trond and Euell. However, as sure as night follows day, as sure as eggs are eggs, as sure...... that's enough, Effin scored. Why does that always happen to us? Got a little bit hairy for a great deal of the first half, but after the break we asserted our dominance. A Beresford OG made it 3-1 before a fantastic solo goal by Trond sealed off a great performance. And all this without our former star player. You know, the more I think of it, the better we play without him. Certainly the team think so.....

Plus points: A win. A good win. At SP for once. Nobody played badly. Excellent play by Angrymann, the raving TB did about him after the game was well justified. Made Sheff Wed really look like the bottom team at times. Solid defensive performance - doubtless the return of one Sir Kenneth of Cunningham was a major factor. Some of the fluency of play was sublime.

Minus points: Letting in that goal. Slight lack of atmosphere at times. Mind you, I think that was down to.....

Yuk x2: The SP pitch. Further proof that when two teams play on it, the owner of the ground is a crook and the coveter of the ground is a spivvy wide boy who sells stolen mobile phones, you'll always play in a bog.

The biggest waste of dough since you-know-who: The much lauded Palace Jumbotron, as seen on the picture above. Cost £1m, though we weren't asked to contribute to it. Just as well, as it's the lamest thing I've ever seen. Do you think they could put a clock on it? Or at least make it readable? Further proof that you can't polish a turd.

Funny: The Sheff Wed fan who nearly got nicked for carrying a huge inflatable Chupa Chumps (or whatever their sponsor is called) lollypop into their end.

We can be but thankful for small mercies: At least the SP Gestapo did us all a favour and banned that fucking annoying Sheff Wed band. Soccer AM can't get enough of that band though, which says it all.

Quotes: (1) "Who needs John Hartson?" - great section of the WFC crowd after we went 4-1 up. Hey, they said it...... (2) "Do you remember 5-0?" - us to the Wednesday crowd. Doubtless retorts of "5-1" went conveniently unheard. (3) "Going down with the Rangers" - us to Wednesday crowd again. Have last year's humiliations been that much of a burden on our psyche?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Last year, this was a Premiership game. Though with a much better result. (2) Haven't Sheff Wed done this season what most expected us to do instead?

Oops: The WFC FITC banner by the side of the Holmesdale with John Hartson still on it.

Tosser: Paul Jewell. No reason. And it's nothing to do with Bradford City. Honest.

Well, it's only been 24 hours since he left and still the JH transfer abounds. The question is, how much did we let him go for? Most papers are saying we let him go for nowt, although the Telegraph say we did receive an initial fee of £500k for him. Plus the pay-per-match basis. So, most people think this is an appauling deal. I disagree - yes, we've lost about 95% of his original value on him, but that's not WFC's fault. We did try to get a decent sum for him, and when you consider that the alternative would have been for him to sit out his contract (what - you mean you believe that a club would have paid £5m for him in the summer? Yeah, and I'm an organ transplant officer at Alder Hey hospital) then this is the only way we could have done it. Assuming the Telegraph is correct, we'll basically recoup last years wages on him. Forget the £7m, there was too much iffyness going on with that for us to ever get it back (thought: did KIR ever pay that "bridging loan" which ultimately forced SH out? If not, where did the dough come from?). We'll just write this whole sorry episode off - there's bigger fish to fry..

Speaking of which - the ESS ran a bit of a scaremongering story today about MK (in their printed edition - funnily enough not on their online edition). Basically, it's reporting on BRG stepping down as chairman - not a big deal, as said yesterday - but they keep on saying that MK is "key" to CK's plans. No direct quotes or anything, which is always a sign, and this is the same paper that once had a backpage headline of "West Bromwich Dons", but still enough to put you on your guard. Now, two things : one, haven't the league already blocked MK? Didn't CK himself say to WISA that he did go and see the MK presentation, had some nice cucumber sandwiches, found it impressive but didn't think it was "right" for WFC? Secondly, and just as importantly, won't the WFC board reject it even if CK wants it? The board - which ever since SH left has found a reason for existing - have come out and practically said it will be blocked. Well, two of its most prominent members have anyway. And given that the board have had to pass selling JH and getting TB in, I would imagine that something like a new site would go through them as well. I have heard one person say to me that if WFC wanted MK, they could go through the courts and challenge the league through "restraint of trade". I disagree (tonight's catchphrase BTW) - firstly, it will take too long anyway. Secondly, there would be too many legal challenges from fans and the league itself to make it worthwhile. And thirdly, and probably most importantly, WFC are basically part of the league "club". In other words, they have to abide by their rules if they want to stay in it. And there aren't enough allies of such a move from other clubs that would force the FL to change their mind. The moral to all this is to keep alert just in case but don't get paranoid about MK : too much negativity could force the club to remain at SP forever. And who wants that?

One other annoying thing about the ESS article which probably indicates how inaccurate it is anyway : it mentions words to the effect that the hardcore WFC support would not welcome such a more business orientated approach. Funny how most people I speak to (most unsolicited) want a far better marketing, PR and all round better admin approach from WFC. Remind me to buy the Sport in future - the quality of journalism is the same as the ESS, the accuracy is the same as the ESS, but at least the Sport features relatively decent looking females. Coincidentally, I've now found out who Mattias Hauger is and what he does. He's going to be developing our commercial side, something which SW19 can only cheer about. He's done a pretty good job sorting out the powerboat racing circuit, let's hope he can do something similar with Wimbledon Football Club

Ansah Owusu is on loan to Bristol Rovers for a month, to get first team experience. Definitely can't hurt.

OGEM bashing time. Juvenile, but he really does line himself up to be shot down doesn't he? Firstly, Luton are paying him £0.5m per year or something dumb. Secondly, he's already acting like a cunt - claiming that he's the manager, saying that his position of "Director Of Football" is only a name and the current Luton boss "works for him". Hardly likely to win friends and influence people. Thirdly, he claims that the WFC board never gave him much transfer money. So, I suppose the JH deal came straight out of his pocket. Dear oh dear....

Finally, Palace have got a new Jumbotron up to show replays of stuff etc. We're not allowed to use it - only the scoreboard - because [officially] we never paid for it, and [more truthfully] we were never invited to use it. So, if any players are watching, during the warmup (or even during the game if we're 5-0 up or it's shite), please aim a few piledrivers towards it, and break it. I will personally pay any player £10 who achieves it...

Bloody hell, it's all been happening tonight hasn't it? Two major stories, both in a way out of the blue but both entirely predictable. Confused? Read on...

The major one is of course the fact that we have finally sent Hartson to Coventry. At least the Melrose Place-esque saga is now over thank fuck and we can get on without having to fabricate excuses for him not playing. I've written an article on JH's legacy, see Articles. But the main bone of contention is the fee, or rather lack of one. Coventry won't reveal what they've paid but common assumption is that it's £15k per game. However, it would not surprise me one bit if we haven't had some upfront payment - you are allowed to have up to £1m without insurance, so I wouldn't go around assuming that we've got nothing.

So, now what? Hopefully a bit of stability, and with luck we'll keep Euell for a little while longer. I don't doubt that morale has been vastly increased (I've heard from more than one source that JH was prone to fighting team-mates on the training ground), and I guess TB can now get on with his revolution. As for JH and Coventry, if they go down this year his career as far as the Prem goes is over. Speaking of which, JH was on the radio tonight and was claiming that he (a) always wanted to play for Coventry, (b) was glad that he doesn't have the pressure of a fee on him [probably meaning that he knows his knee is fucked] and (c) he wasn't "mentally prepared" for a move to Rangers. Hmm, methinks a few double standards are in operation here. Still, we're rid of him now. Guess I ought to find another target....

The second one, not majorly reported but just as important for WFC is that BRG has stepped down as chairman and has become a director. CK is now the chairman at WFC, with Peter Lloyd Cooper as his deputy. Basically, this means that CK will do the day-to-day stuff full time. I think BRG realises that there is no way he could keep the old structure up at WFC by being an absent chairman, so he's obviously persuaded CK to concentrate on WFC. So what does this mean? Well, firstly, we'll now have a guy who we KNOW the buck will stop at. Part of the problem previously was that BRG wasn't there long enough to see things through and CK didn't have the authority, so to speak. This seems to have been rectified and we all now know for sure where to go to. Secondly, I think BRG and KIR will be there mainly to attract investment for WFC and also to "help out" IYSWIM. Remember, the guys are joint owners - not CK. Thirdly, it'll be interesting to see if the much needed internal restructuring of WFC is finally going to go ahead. In his meeting, BRG wanted CK to take more of an active role in the day-to-day stuff, this clearly is now happening. CK's business acumen is unquestionable - witness PGPF - but some people still doubt whether he was entirely innocent with the MK stuff. He still doesn't have the final decisions on major projects - the board decides that, and I'm sure R&G will put pressure on where necessary - but hopefully things will be a little bit clearer from now on. Also, I wonder if we'll get to see Mr Hauger finally? He is after all CK's main business partner.....

MH is wanted by OGEM at Luton. He's got no role at WFC now JH has gone, certainly.

Oh, and on the day JH leaves and MH is likely to go, CK takes over. Coincidence? Perhaps BRG feels it's now "safe" to let go......

Quicker than the OS, courtesty of SW19 and Compaq - Northern Shithole 0 Southern Delight 0 was a very good result. No, make that very good. No real shots on goal for us, but our defense was sublime and solid (thanks to one KC telling the others what to do), and our midfield tried effortless. Back to the other Shitehole for replaying next Tuesday. Oh goody. No idea what the crowd will be etc, but at least we earnt this.

Anyway, shall we? It's been so fucking long since I did a match report I've almost forgotten what to put in......

Plus points: We didn't lose. We didn't conceed a goal. Away. Against a Prem side. Most snuffed out the Boro attack. Kelvin's saves, both were sublime. World class even. The away support - very well received.

Minus points: Jason Euell didn't play well at all - has he snorted his first touch into oblivion? Put ourselves under the cosh quite a bit by giving the ball away. Referee was a cunt.

Ugly points: The Boro pitch. I've seen more green concrete wastelands. And no, I don't mean Middlesbrough town centre

Dump: Middlesbrough. See below for further info, but the place has not changed much since 1988. Trust me.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The amount of litter on the pitch. I guess Bryan Robson's new job under Vegetables is clearing the litter. He fucks that up as well. (2) 4 supporters coaches? Oh yeah, they were free. (3) Finding out that the wasteland around the Riverside.... sorry, BT Cellnet Riverside stadium was really supposed to be built on, but the local council have rejected such proposals. And you thought it only applied to Merton Council......(4) The realisation that this was a Prem fixture only last year. (5) The realisation that the same fixture 24 years ago was top flight vs non league. Worth putting into prospective.

Quotes:(1) "He's not having a very good game is he?" - not named Womble on Jason Euell. And we were singing his praises recently...... (2) "He's fat, he's round, he steals a million pounds, Venables..." - somewhat legally suspect chant from our lot. You do realise he's destroyed the evidence by now.... (3) "If I don't say anything you're going to run out of things to write" - CU-NW (guess) to me at half time. Oh yeah, Mr Fox......

See the shit I put up with?: Some certain people were talking behind me behind my back on the supporters coach. Oh yes you were. I know. And no, I'm not rattled. Or pissed. Or paranoid. Much......

Nice: (1) The radio said we were making the noise in the game. (2) "Defiant Dons Shut Out Middlesbrough" - Teletext headline. That's more like it.....

Vicious rumour: JH is not thought highly of at all by the younger players......

So, was it worth a 5 hour journey via Harrogate in wet, cold and windy conditions to a Northern Dump? Yeah, suppose so :)

In a nutshell: Nice one.....

Last update before the hopefully not-aborted trip to Middlesbro. I'll be up in Harrogate avec the SW19 laptop, so with luck I'll be first with the pictures and reports....

Onto WFC matters : the club are still going to stick with Kids For A Quid, the promotion is going to cover both the Crewe and Barnsley games (I think - I haven't got the info with me), although accompanying adults will have to pay what I think is a rather stiff £15. Whilst I obviously applaud KFAQ - and hope that WFC actually do some proper marketing this time - stinging the adults isn't going to tempt too many into taking it up. Why not just make it £10 for adults? It wouldn't hurt, it wouldn't alienate the existing ST holders, and who knows : we may even get some more people going.....

Dumb Rumour Of The Week : JH to Watford. With Wooter and Smart in return. JH was reportedly seen at Vicarage Road on Friday, which adds fuel to this particular fire. Coincidentally, JH has apparently not travelled up with the squad for Boro tomorrow, he's training with the reserves. Ceefax hint that it's an "injury". So obviously the food poisoning excuse wore thin.

Finally, certain ex-manager is linked with Luton job, despite quitting previous job "to spend more time with family". Hmm.

Martin D attempts failed suicide bid with peanuts

Somebody somewhere is taking the fucking piss out of me this season. For about the third time in a month a game got called off, and needless to say, I am not a happy bunny. The fact that (a) most of Britain was sunny, and (b) even Hull - a mere 10 miles away - was "habitable" rubs lo-sodium substitute into the wounds. Bah.

I know it's self indulgent to write a brief summary of what happened: however, it's so unbelievable that it could well be, the ultimate Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction. And the simple fact is, I need to let off steam. Here's my story.....

Woke up at 6am after I forgot to set my alarm clock. Because I was forcing myself awake at various times during the night, I got a grand total of about 2 hours sleep. Not a good start. Left my house at 6.32am because the Northern Line between Morden and Tooting Broadway is buggered. Drove to Balham. Things were going well until I reached the trafficlights of Balham Station Road and Bedford Hill. My filter turns green, and naturally I pull out. Some total cunt coming the other way decides to jump the red light at 50mph (no, you read that right) and somehow misses me by about 2 inches. Had he hit, I would have been in intensive care in St Georges by now. Park up (this bit becomes very relevant later on). Get on tube to Kings Cross. Realise that I've practically left an hour too early so decide to get off at Euston and walk up (to kill time). Got out and find out that Kings Cross tube is closed because of a fire alert. Not again. Cross the road outside Euston on a green man light and a car pulls in and nearly runs me over. Give middle finger. Realised that somebody was out to get me, and subsequently I was on edge for the rest of the walk. Walk into McDonalds, and see about 5 Celsi fans in there (told you this was getting worse). Amazingly, I didn't throw hot water at them. However, I was surrounded by a load of twattish 17 year olds - along with a female who had some of the best legs I have ever seen on a woman, shame about her face though - talking about "hardcore" and "trance". I reckon they were referring to refuse clearance and hypnosis. Got a bit confused when they started talking about "popping pills" though.

That's the boring shit out of the way, here's the important bit. Uneventful train journey, save for the hyperactive 3 year old near us. I fucking hate kids. Get out at Doncaster and get tickets for Cleethorpes (the tickets I was on were Fab 4 to Doncaster, must travel on time given). Go with rest of group to some unknown destination in Doncaster - a pub methinks - and then the bombshell : JZ of W&WW reports that the game is off. He jests, surely? Frantic phone calls ensure, and lo and behold, it really is off. Quite a few words are said, mostly revolving around sexual acts and cursing the whole world. Well, I was. Action as to what to do was being decided and decided quickly. Most wanted to go to Cleethorpes to "make a day of it". Given the stories I've heard about the Cleethorpes area I would rather go to Middlesbrough for a night (er...). Others were checking to see what else was on. Me? I wanted to return to London. There was a slight snag - remember the Fab 4 thing? Well, I couldn't use it unless I was on the 1915 from Doncaster to London. Hmm, 7 hours in a South Yorkshire dive. Decided to get refunds on my Cleethorpes tickets, nil problemo on that score, but couldn't do anything for the return. Well, £48 single if I wanted. Ouch. Decide to risk it coming back. Discover that the nice people at GNER realise we're buggered and provide a written "Do not charge excess fare" note for the Fab 4. Nice people, no wonder they're my favourite rail franchise. See John Lelliott and a Spurz fan from, er, Hull, at the station. Did you know that Mr Lelliott uses Weekend First? Tight bastard. Get back to Balham feeling totally pissed off - even more so considering that I had arrived about half an hour before supposed kickoff. Oh, and you know the bit I said about parking up? Well, guess what greeted me back in London SW12? A parking ticket, lovingly provided by Wandsworth Council. £60 fine as well, though if I do it within 14 days they'll knock it down to £30. Nice of them. And my crime? "Parked in a restricted street during prescribed hours". In other words, parking where I shouldn't. It's a residential area. Great. Do you reckon that if I was to tell them that the exact reason I parked there was because it was dark, I had come within an inch of losing my life and subsequently did not feel mentally fit enough to park further away, coupled with the fact that I was going to a slummy Northern shithole (no, I don't mean Doncaster) I would get away with it? No, didn't think so. AND it took me a fucking hour to get home. All of about 4 miles at most. Fucking cunting bollocks

Sorry to ramble, but this is what I had to put up with today. And no, it WASN'T fucking worth it.....

To the surprise of just about nobody, but to the anger of many more than you realise, the resurrected move of JH to Coventry fell through this morning because - wait for it - Coventry couldn't get the insurance on him. For "historical" reasons, not current reasons, apparently. Now, this really HAS pissed people off, but instead of anger at WFC for trying to sell him in the first place, or even at Coventry for not being dumb enough to accept him, the player himself is getting about 99% of the attacks. I don't recall a player NOT being sold getting such stick, but when you look at what has happened, you can't really blame the attackers. Think about it - this season alone, JH has been "cuddled", he's been praised to the hilt by TB (who I doubt really wants him), he's been made captain, in fact the club have bent over backwards for him. So far in fact I'm surprised our spine hasn't cracked.

Why is he getting so much abuse? I think people really have wised up. JH is receiving close to £700k a year BASIC, and given the tightening of finances at WFC that is a high figure to pay out. Now, if JH acted like a professional, nobody would probably begrudge him it. But this season, he has generally performed poorly. Injuries (euphemistic?) or not, he has been constantly marked out of games by defenders who really wouldn't walk into our team. And when he HASN'T played, we've look much better, so there's no love here any more. The final straw for many was Pompey. When our fans weren't getting raped by RentAMob, many were getting really pissed off at the 1-dimensional tactics that we had to employ because he was on the pitch. This was a day after JH had said that he was fully fit and raring to go. Did he stand out for you? No? There's a surprise.....

So, the fans patience has run out, but has WFC's? Well, the official statement came about lunchtime, it is really quite amazing:

"WIMBLEDON regret to announce that it has not been possible to finalise the transfer of John Hartson to Coventry City. Chief Executive David Barnard said today: "We are naturally disappointed that we have been unable to conclude John's transfer to Coventry but we fully understand their position in relation to the insurance." "Everyone knows that with the exception of a cracked rib John has been fit to train and play all season and we have no doubt that he still has a long, successful career ahead of him."

Now, when was the last time you EVER read a club statement - any club, not just WFC - who seem genuinely pissed off that they can't sell an expensive player for less than they bought him? Ignore the WISA press releaseque last bit which is clearly a kind of "but we really want him to stay. Honest" get-out clause, the relationship between club and player must be at an all time low. Last night, in the SW19 guestbook, someone who keeps in regular contact with JH commented that JH himself was really pissed off at not being asked to travel to Notts despite not actually having "genuine" food poisoning. Now, you could argue "so why should he bust a gut when we're clearly dumping on him?". Because WFC have finally lost patience, that's why. I've no idea whether the guy will now receive a "get fit or get out" ultimatum, but the battle lines have clearly been drawn. TB's approach of "we must play him to put him in the shop window" has clearly failed, because if anything his performances have lowered his value.

It will be interesting to see the fallout from this. Time will tell. My current feelings are this : he's no good to us. We've done a LOT for him and he still keeps acting totally unprofessionally. For a pro-footballer to be seen constantly drinking alcohol in games where he is supposed to be injured, any badness that comes from that is nobody's fault but that of the player himself. If his knee is seriously fucked, check on his insurance to see if he can be retired. If we can't, then see if we can cancel his contract and tell Barnett to find another club on his own. This will have to be by mutual consent, but if JH is that pissed off at the way he feels he's being messed about then surely he'll agree to it. If neither of those options are viable, then at least some sort of financial damage limitation needs to be arranged. Renegotiation of contract? Not too sure how legal that would be, but something will need to be done, and soon. The club have shown their hand, they are clearly pissed off with JH now. JH is pissed off with WFC for "selling him to a two-bob team like Coventry". Hmm, ever asked yourself why they want to sell you to such a club, Mr Hartson? The real answer may want to make you have a pint....... Something will give, let's hope it's quick and decisive.

Oh, and one final thought on the JH move for now - apparently, JH is a partner in Barnett's business. JH doesn't want to leave WFC - for reasons which legally I won't get into, though I have my theories - and perhaps he's telling Barnett to scupper each move that WFC want to get sorted. It seems feasible, and given his private comments above, he's looking for that megabuck move he (and Barnett) feels he deserves. Remember, he seemed dead keen to go to Rangers but not to Coventry......

Elsewhere, and old news I know, Marcus Gayle has been rubbing people up the wrong way with comments earlier this week about how he ignored TB's instructions against Notts County which meant we scored. Makes you wonder how often he (and some others no doubt) do what they feel instead of what they're asked to do. I bet he wouldn't have proudly boasted this had we somehow not scored in the game. This is like last season all over again. Still, Gayle is supposedly on his way out soon, so at least he can attract interest by proving how loyal and obedient he is (er.....)

NEWS