NEWS
30 April 2004
It's a strange one isn't it? Strange that a relatively piddly little tournament is bringing out cup final euphoria amongst our frienzied support. Flags, banners, days off work, many hours spent in public houses (all right, so our lot don't need much of an excuse for that), and all because of a rather dumb scheduled game. Friday night, I ask you...
So what? Well, first things first : losing tonight will not ruin our season. Or at least, it shouldn't do. This isn't 14 May 1988 by any means, though others will see it differently. What IS vital tonight is that we don't totally bottle it. If we do, then the old ghosts will be aired again. Leicester, Spurz, Chelski, three mammoth games where we forgot to grasp any mantle whatsoever, and just made ourselves look fourth division. Tonight is different - we are firm favourites.
We SHOULD win, our league record and general performance suggests that. But this is a cup competition : NGU will want our scalp, and if we're not giving them 110% minimum respect, there'll be trouble. They have nothing to lose, and it's their response as much as ours that will determine tonight. With luck, they'll look at the projected 5k crowd (though with this weather I think it'll be 3.5k meself) and totally brick it. On the other hand, they could do what a certain team did on a very sunny day in May 1988 and not brick it.
The pressure on our players must be immense, and they know it. I saw NE at the reserves last night and by all accounts he looked nervous. Presumably the players feel the same as well. Whether this is good nerves or bad nerves we'll soon find out, but if the OS account is anything to go by, we're doing it a professional enough way. Getting the players together, doing the cup final team talk etc etc this afternoon is going to focus minds. Wonder if they'll train as well? Worked in 1988.
As for the rest of it, a couple of things : this won't be our hardest game of the season, Walton away was. There's going to be a late licence at KM for the alcoholics, though if this goes into extra time there could be a helluva mad rush. Quite a few locals seem to be interested. And finally, you can bet that Westfield are loving it.....
See you tonite if it's on, and report up tomorrow. I'll be the sober one.
28 April 2004
Thanks to a belated attempt by SW19's Army's webmaster to try and further his (admittedly limited) education, it was left to me to bring you the wonders of Best Team In Greenford (reserves) 1 CCL Champions (reserves) 2. You could tell this was going to be a night where sensible folk think "Fuck the football, it's nice and cosy in here" the moment the monsoon started an hour before the game and the northern suburbs of Greenford were illuminated by sheets of lightning and battered by large chunks of ice masquerading as hail.
After being welcomed by a bedraggled ticket seller who claimed that the price would have been 2 quid higher if the sun was shining (obviously went to the Chessington & Hook school of accountancy), I huddled into the bar with the remainder of the Dons faithful. The pre-match entertainment was split between laughing at each successive mug staggering in looking wetter than the last and betting on whether Coops' hair colour would start to run; unfortunately someone then spotted the teams taking the pitch and we felt duty bound to go and watch.
The pitch was
somewhat damp by this stage, and the onset of even heavier rain made
conditions atrocious for the first 20 minutes. During this period,
despite the presence of several reserves in the team we looked a good
side and Quinn scored a header from a corner and SSK curled a beautiful
30-yarder around the keeper for a 2-0 lead. After the rain eased the
pitch began to drain a little and play got more bogged down up until
half-time. The second half, even though the Dons were now kicking
downstream, preceded to make a damp squib look like a Chinese New
Year celebration, and apart from some substitutions nothing happened
until we slacked off at the end and let them pull one back with a
nice chipped finish.
On with the show ....
Plus points:
We won, and we didn't appear to suffer any pre-final injuries.
Minus points: Dull as fuck and wetter than Mrs Slocombe's pussy.
The referee's a......: man in black with a whistle. Rather
surprisingly good, didn't call him a wanker at all so can't complain
after Saturday's "efforts"
Them: Friendly as ever, although the "NGU say Congratulations
for being champions, comiserations for the cup" posters were
a little cheeky!
Crowded house: It wasn't. Maybe 400 or so extremely hardy souls
probably made up our lowest ever competitive attendance; I look forward
to being able to brag about being there in about 20 years time on
a futuristic guestbook in true Old Isthmian / Carshalton Womble stylee
:)
Points to ponder: (1) Why did we play worse when some of the
first team came on as subs? (2) Why can't North Greenford unite with
the rest of the place, it's hardly that big and the Vikings (RIP)
have left.
Chants would be a fine thing: (1) "we only sing when we're
swimming" to the NGU massive (well there were 7 of them, with
a combined age of under a hundred and an IQ to match) (2) "Same
old Wombles, taking a piss" as Martin Drake sneaked into the
bushes behind the goal for a leak.
Franchise
watch: Didn't lose by the cunning ploy of not playing. If we are
lucky, maybe they will try that tactic permanently soon.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The "leader"
of the NGU massive coming up to the Wombles behind the goal and accusing
"always in shorts" of having moldy legs, bringing the startled
response of "I've been mocked by a mini-Chav". (2) An esteemed
stats man and occasional NLP journalist reminiscing about a friendly
between QPR and Arbroath he once saw (yes, it was that dull a game).
"Probably the only time Arbroath played in Britain" - and
we thought 70 miles to MK was a long move.
Anything else? Not a lot to be honest; however I dress this
up you didn't miss much.
So, was it worth it? Probably. No, make that possibly. No,
ask me again when I finally dry off ...
In a nutshell:
Did I mention
it rained a lot?
See you all for the PCC cup final, where "normal" service
should be resumed...
25 April 2004
A hot, sunny day in leafy Chessington. End-of-term atmosphere. Hundreds of Wombles wombling down Chalky Lane to watch their heroes. What could possibly go wrong? Well, in Zoo Time 3 Animal Magic 5 just about everything. But even at a princely £8 entry charge, it was still better value than the rollercoaster rides you get over the road.
First shock of the day was the pitch -- green and verdant like a newly-mown cricket pitch, and totally at odds with the mudbath we had encountered last season. I say "we" -- I wasn't there, as I was exercising my pinko-liberal tendencies on the anti-Iraq war march in Whitehall (Disclaimer: The views of the contributor are entirely their own, and are not to be confused with those of Robert Edward Peter Dunford Esq.)
[SW19 note: I've got no problem with such marches, I do genuinely believe in free speech. Even for our crypto-communist middle class liberal subservient fanbase who feel the selfish need to satisfy their guilty consciences at every turn. Big winky smiley and all that]
Within 28 seconds of kick-off, C&H scored. Apparently (your humble
correspondent was at the other end) it was offside but the referee
allowed it. Three minutes later, they scored again. By this time it
was already obvious that the referee was Not One Of Us, as Mrs T.
might have put it. Opinions were divided as to whether he was trying
to show he could stand up to the league¹s big boys, or was simply
weak. Anyway, things went from bad to worse. We pulled a goal back,
but five minutes before half-time, Nicky English was sent off for
foul language. As the ref left the pitch, Ginge was shown the red
card for the same offence. Now, given that no-one claims to be able
to understand what Ginge says, that might seem a bit unfair, so I
am sure with a good lawyer, he'll get off.
Second half, and with eighteen minutes left, they made it 3-1. That
unbeaten record was about to go. Then a Ryan Gray goal from a SSK
cross started to turn the tide. Minutes later, Coops chased the ball
to the by-line, barged
into a defender and was inexplicably given a penalty, which he slotted
home. After that, things passed in a blur -- the decider (ours), another
goal, more sendings-off, and, er ... can it get any better?
Them: Unfazed by playing the champs-elect -- and rightly so. Kept on going much longer than we expected.
Us: Nice to see that never-say-die attitude still alive, with nothing to play for, and a referee who was blatantly useless.
The referee's a...: Silly little man, or their No 12, depending who you listen to. But see below.
Most tempestuous love-hate affair in the history of AFC Wimbledon: And worthy of a Bogart-Bacall movie. I am of course referring to the relationship between our fans and the referee, Mr M. Phillips of Bracknell. For the first seventy minutes, there was nothing but unbridled contempt for him. Then, after Coops was blocked by a defender and a blatently undeserved penalty was given, the tide of passion turned. All of a sudden, people discovered deep wells of affection -- which they never knew they possessed -- for the man in black. But drawing a discreet veil over some of the more ardent language from behind the goal, we move briskly on to ...
Bizarre sighting of the day: Roy Capell seen heading in the direction of the pitch and away from the beer tent just before kick-off.
Fashion
watch: Anoraks were the order of the day for some, showing yet
again the irrepressible pessimism of our fans when it comes to the
weather. In contrast, however, one individual sported a panama hat
with natty striped ribbon, and a sleek grey jacket and trousers --
doesn't he realise that Henley isn't till June? But easily winning
the sartorial stakes was the intrepid soul who turned up in full Arab
headdress. His reasoning -- that he'd been musing on WMD and suddenly
thought that AFCW was his very own weapon of mass destruction -- seemed
a bit suspect, to be honest. Be that as it may, his red-and-white
towelling looked enviably comfortable in the heat.
There is apparently however no truth in the rumour that he was later found in possession of a match ticket for Old Trafford and mumbling that he'd thought he was travelling Virgin West Coast because of the engineering works.
Quotes
of the day: 1) "We want five-a-side!" (as the sendings-off
steadily denuded the pitch) 2) "Oh look! The main stand has got
worked up!" (when a couple of people in the corrugated iron lean-to
started to utter mild abuse
at the ref) 3) And, as the score stood at an ominous 3-1: "We
can't lose to a bunch of zoo shit shovellers!"
Junk mail watch: No idea whose bright idea it was to hand out dozens of copies of a local newspaper article in which the C&H manager said that AFC Wimbledon should have started in the junior leagues, his mother could have clinched the championship on the money we had to spend, and we'd got given everything on a plate. Bit irresponsible, IMHO, to give our fans something which was calculated to wind them up. After all, the referee did it so much better.
Plus points:
The result, the weather -- oh, and I managed to escape the clutches
of the Dons Lottery market researchers. I wish the project well, but
I just hope they factor into their results the likelihood that the
beer,
the sun, and a natural human desire not to appear stingy to the interviewers
might mean that people's willingness to part with their cash could
be *slightly* overstated.
[SW19 note: I filled in one of these MR things for the Cove game, and what struck me was that there was no obvious way to say that you weren't going to put anything into it - as though it was a presumption that everyone would buy one. I wasn't, I don't really do lottery things anyway, and I know a couple of other people who were a bit miffed at this as well, which considering the work put in is hardly a good omen. I thought the idea of MR was to see if something would be popular and workable, not assume that everyone is going to get involved and plan accordingly. Doing this would distort the results. Obviously, any money into the club is a good thing, however, it looks like the club have now based their entire business plan around assuming that the fans will ALWAYS shell out - they won't, especially after a draining share issue. And I can't help thinking that they'll find that out the hard way]
Minus points: None, unless player bans carry over into next season.
Was it worth it?: Are you kidding?
17 April 2004
First things first - there will NOT be a Cove report as although I'll be at the game, I won't be near enough a computer afterwards to write one. You all know about C&H and NGU, so the next SW19 report from me will be the PCC Cup Final. So you've got a break from me for a while (stop cheering)
Speaking
of getting a break for a while, I think we've now entered that strange
limbo stage of the season. The championship is ours, the PCC cup final
is a mere two weeks away, and as Cheese 0 Kitsch 6 proved,
I think we really cannot wait until next season. At times, the whole
atmosphere felt like the Lord Mayor's Show (post) or a Surrey game
at the Oval. Plenty of polite applause, warm sunshine, that kind of
thing. All we needed was tea on the lawn, orangeade for the kids,
cucumber sandwiches and a good book to wile away the hours. The game?
We were 4-0 up by half time, KC, Jamie Taylor and Bolger (not SSK)
doing the honours. And really, people were interested but not entirely
raptured...
Second half just as exciting, with everyone's favourite hun Ginge netting the 5th and kissing his badge to boot. Finally, the game was killed off with a minute glance off KC's head, following a superb cross. And that, as they say, was that.
Shall we? Oh, go on....
Plus points: I was accused of being too positive for the Walton game, so I'm not going to add anything here
Minus points: Dull as fuck.
The referee's a......: Again, didn't do anything wrong as such. For the second game in a row, we had a female 4th official, though unlike the Walton bit of totty wasn't the sort you would have liked to have booking you for a firm tackle.
Them:
If I was going to do the SW19 Poll again this year (which I'm
not, it was too much bloody hard work last year for too little reward),
I think Merstham would run away with the Favourite Away Ground award.
Thanks to our generosity, plus a grant or two, the place was unrecognisable
: the clubhouse (right), despite looking like a Travelodge, was spotless
and new, and is let out to playgroups. There were proper turnstiles
and a few bits of paving as well all around. Plus the fence to keep
the riff-raff out (or to keep the fans in). More on the culinary fayre
later, but in these sort of cases, we really have done teams like
Merstham good. And their chairman tried to shake everyone's hands
again (and failed). As for the team, looked like Hull City. And their
#10 shoved people a bit.
Crowded house: Anyone got any ideas on what the attendance was? Must have been about 1200 or so.
Point to ponder: How many pissed off people did I meet today? I mean, how many people regretted not going to Walton on Monday?
Truth is stranger than fiction: Being sold a strip of raffle tickets by a Merstham woman, about 55 but with dyed black hair and a facelift that makes Kylie "More plastic than a Visa factory" Minogue's look decent (removes claws). Had a suggestive mind as well. Just what goes on in these little villages in this isle?
Food
and drink: Yup, the cheese rolls. Between 250 and 1000 (depending
on who you listened to) made today, including variations (pickle,
onion, ham). All sold out by 2.40pm. Reportedly very crispy, not soft
at all. On sale for £1. There was a barbeque as well, which
apparently tasted very nice. Some considered it a bit pricy but then
you can't have everything. The reaction on people's faces when they
found out they couldn't have a cheese roll was priceless. And you
thought that Merstham were going to make that mistake again? Oh, and
the tea on sale was 50p and tasted like they'd used the Plough Lane
teabag that has been in storage since 1987.
Franchise watch: Oh, who really gives a fuck? They relegated Bradford today by winning 3-2. Some degree of irony there, though chances are, they're just playing out of their skins for a dream move to anywhere where there's a football team.
Anything else? KM sounded, er, interesting on Monday night. No, I didn't go. Alcohol is evil. Sounds like I missed a lot, including throwing up, shagging in the toilets*, and people generally letting go. And that was just the bar staff.
* - at least, that's what I thought I heard.
So, was it worth it? Probably.
In a nutshell: You got to roll with it....
See you for the PCC cup final.
12 April 2004
AFC WIMBLEDON: COMBINED COUNTIES LEAGUE CHAMPIONS, 2003-04
Reads well, doesn't it?
I don't think I've ever experienced unbridled joy before. At least, not without involving body fluids or causing GBH on somebody. And until the 9th May, when we find out what league we're in (assuming the CCL don't dock us 20 points for being too good), I'm not sure if it will sink in. Obviously, once people had heard that Wallies only drew 1-1, they got in their cars and headed down to watch Casuals 0 Scarfers 3. There was a queue at 1pm, there was a longer queue at 1.30pm, and by 2.15pm they had delayed the kickoff by 20 minutes.
TBH, I don't care about the game itself (KC scored two and Matt E scored a typical goal if you must know), but today, it seems worth it. Since 1988, the club has been on a constant spiral, with greedy fuck stains taking, and taking and taking until it became, well, what passes for a club at Milton Keynes now. Wimbledon FC was a cash cow, a cinderella club that became a crack whore, and now it's shaking its flabby varicous veined arse before getting sodomised by sweaty businessmen. This is special, and cunts like Hammam, Koppout, Wankelmann, Reg Davis etc can't take it away from us. No Crazy Gang bullshit, no fallen idols like Fash and Vinny to hog the limelight. This is us. Today was the ultimate Fuck You to those who tried to destroy us. I think we have the last laugh right now. The joy they feel at Milton Keynes is bogus compared to the real joy today.
The celebrations at the end were something else. In fact, I taped it on the SW19 dictaphone, but the sound quality came out so awful that I gave up. Shame, as there's some good singing on it. Nobody wants a cheap and extremely tempermental dictaphone do they?
The players certainly loved it (I even said "hello" to Simon Bassey who recognised me - first time I'd spoken to him in 12 years, when he was in my French class at school). The sight of champagne being brought onto the pitch and sprayed liberally was something you don't quite get at Highbury or OT.
As you read this, chances are there's the KM party is still going on, though personally I'm too bloody knackered to go. As it is, you'll just have to put up with...
Plus points: Oh come on.
Minus points: Refer to "plus points" above
The referee's a.....: Suitably crap for the occasion. The lino looked like Rudi Voller's dad, and ran like him as well. My favourite official has to be the fourth official. Female, blonde, youngish. She could check my studs out any time.
Them: They must really love us, even though some AFCW fans aren't quite so reciprocal. I don't really blame them for charging £8 to get in, their beer tent was popular and certainly was appreciated by many. The nice woman in the tea bar even let me jump the queue because all I wanted was tea. Their stands/covers built from the proceeds of our previous two visits looked nice. Oh, and no Danny Wheeler. Shame.
Oh what an atmosphere: What a buzz. Could feel it before the game, and the next time I'll see so many happy Wombles will be when Sam Hammam gets done on tax fraud. "Are You Watching Milton Keynes/Charles Koppel" got an airing, as did "We're proud of you" and "Champions", obviously. CS got an airing as well, though can't really see too many chavs in Walton. Oh, and "We hate West Ham" to Tony Gale....
Point to ponder: Isn't setting up a club from scratch, with no players, no infrastructure, and taking them to winning the title so comprehensively within 24 months so damn impressive? It's a shame that nobody gave TE much credit today for the whole season, after all, it was his team for the large part.
Truth
is stranger than fiction: (1) The mens toilet/latrine that was
dug out because the portaloos hadn't been delivered. Guy beside me
in the, er, trap likened it to Glastonbury. With the music outside
and the high prices, it did feel like a music festival. (2) Seeing
"Champions" badges on sale before game. Good job the footballing
gods were in a good mood. (3) Plenty of "Champions" during
the game, especially after the goals. (4) Did you know that it was
4 years ago to the day that we lost 2-0 to Sheff Weds at Selhurst
in THAT game? (5) If you told me 2 years ago that on 12 April 2004
that I'd be celebrating a league championship I would have thought
that I'd have a Celtic season ticket
Wallingford/Franchise/anyone else watch: This is our moment. Read it and weep. Or even better, buy the DVD and weep. Unless you're Franchise in which case you can buy the DVD and fuck off and watch second division football next season.
Anything else? Yeah - how many bloody flies were there about? And why did the coppers stand OUTSIDE the ground looking at the game from the bank? Surely the Surrey OB could afford the £8 entrance fee per officer....
So, was it worth it? Please refer to "minus points" above.
In a nutshell: Champions.
Now, when I remember more stuff I'll type it up. As for now, I think I might have a little drink...
10 April 2004
Assuming
all goes well, if Wallingford don't win at Reading Town and we beat
Walton Casuals on Monday, we will be champions. I don't expect the
Wallies to lose though so don't get your hopes up too high. In the
meantime, Y2K 6 W2K 0 was another "here we go again"
type game. Bit shit in the beginning, then up popped Matt E with a
header/scramble. Second goal was another penalty, thankfully KC got
to take it this time. Third goal was by SSK, thanks to a shot and
bouncing over the goalie, leaving him looking like a tit stranded.
Fourth goal again down to typical Matt E headering. I missed who scored
the fifth goal, but the 6th goal was a KC header. Impressive, expect
when you consider that it was about 2 yards out and impossible to
miss..
Got all that? OK then, here's.....
Plus points: Another comfortable win. Another clean sheet. Another performance to justify NE's permanent stewardship. Jones B getting a full 45 minute run out. KC learning how to kick penalties properly. Carving them apart in the last 15 minutes, when we were already lots of goals up
Minus points: Is Ryan Gray capable of shooting accurately from 3 yards out?
The referee's a......: He didn't half make some odd decisions, forgot to give a penalty to us towards the end. Needless to say, I don't think he'll be on the SW19 christmas card list. Lino got into some banter with the Main Stand, given them the thumb up. At least, I think it was the thumb.
Them: I've never like W2K, so I don't feel much sympathy for their collapse after most of their squad buggered off to Worthing. As for their current squad, their #10 was a dead ringer from the old Hanna Barbera cartoon, the Hair Bear Bunch. I just hope that he sneaked his way back into the zoo after the game*
* - for those who don't get that, and for the benefit of the SW19 readership who are under 40 years of age, check here
Sing Hosanna: Again, a little bit of noise from the West Bank. For about 2 minutes anyway. First anti-MK song got airing after 10 minutes.
Hang the DJ: Phillo worries me. When I entered the ground, he was playing some decent stuff, like Jet and Rasmus. Before that, he was playing some rap stuff which isn't really my cup of tea but appeals to some. Then he started getting all Dr Neil Fox, playing the same Franz Ferdinand song on cue, as though he was on Crapital. Then, he committed an unspeakable crime : when the teams came out, "The Boys Are Back In Town" came out. Much mortification. Tell you what, when he starts playing "Let Me Entertain You", we all ought to club together and hire a hitman out on him, Tim Westwood style. Oh, and he didn't do a minute's laughter for Franchise, though did redeem himself with the Laughing Policeman.....
Point to ponder: Why does it cost less to watch an away game at KM for Wallingford than it does for a home game at KM against Wallingford?
Truth
is stranger than fiction: (1)
At all football grounds, you are not allowed to take in objects that
could poke somebody's eye out. I have no idea whatsoever how the haircut
to your left was ever allowed in past the turnstile operators and
your eagle-eyed stewards. Christ, the nerve I had to pluck up to ask
if I could take a photo was immense. Still, it was nice and stiff,
and still kept hard whenever you stroked it. (2) Wasn't it nice to
see 2855 there? Whether it's because the weather is getting warmer
(?) or whether it really is because, as my old man keeps saying, success
breeds success. Whatever, it just proves that we have been too strong
for this league in over a year.
Franchise watch: Who gives a flying fuck about them? Oh, all of you. OK then - drew 3-3 at home (sic) to Preston, and that only came about due to a last minute goal. The Frenzies were so, er, frenzied about cheering their local heroes in their hour of need that a massive 2866 packed out the NHS. With such a loyal and committed following, they will surely go from strength to strength in division two. Who knows, they might even get to open a second car park for their games against Rushden.
Anything else? Yeah, I saw a guy I knew from Franchise days down for his first AFCW game (looking a big bigger than what I remembered, that's obviously what married life does). His impression? "Mint".
So, was it worth it? Aye.
In a nutshell: Almost there.....
And finally: As you may have noticed, I'm looking for somebody to do the Chessington and Hook away game on the 24th of this month. I'm going to Leipzig (and no, I'm not going to stay in a concentration camp) so naturally I won't be here. If you want to do it, please let me know - the people I asked today can't do it because they're not going, or they can't do anything remotely journalistic, or they refuse to let me get them drunk enough to do it for me. And the report. So, who's up for it? Fresh blood always accepted, ability to report on football not necessarily advantageous....
9 April 2004
[NOTE: I'm going to give up taking pictures for night games as they all come out absolutely shit]
Perhaps this club is different to WFC after all. For once we didn't large up a semi final appearance and pathetically bottle it, a la Leicester or Chelski. Instead, as Champs 5 Chavs 0 illustrated, we got down to the task in hand and made it look embarrasingly one sided. I'm not joking when I say that it could have been 10. It should have been six had Bassey not decided to play the long ball game for his penalty at the end. The game? Well, after oodles of running, plenty of offside trap beating, we finally went ahead when a CH player did something in the box. Must have been bad, as he got sent off - perhaps he offered somebody outside? Needless to say, KC dispatch the penalty.
The floodgates opened : next, Matt Everard made it 2-0 with a trademark free-kick and header, then a peach from KC made it 3-0. I managed to miss the fourth goal, but I believe that it was Jamie Taylor with a lob. Or was it a five yard tap in, as somebody was trying to tell me? Half time came and went, and the game sort of died off, KC's good run and shot making it 5-0. And a hat-trick as well. OK, CH came back into it a little bit, and even made Standen save a couple, but that really was that.
So now we're
in the PCC final, at the pretty brain dead schedule of a Friday evening.
Hey, why not move it to a Sunday, you could make more money out
of us get more people in that way...
Anyway...
Plus points: Comprehensive stuffing. Tore the CH defence apart. KC's hat trick. KC's second goal. Keeping discipline when CH went all Southall on us. Very tricky banana skin overcome with embarrasing ease.
Minus points: Should have been 10.
The referee's a......: Given grief by the CH fans at half time, so must have done something right. He did get a ball in the head though.
Them: Well, they had a corner in the first minute. They took about 200 down with them, and they were being watched by the Old Bill from beginning to end. A group of them reportedly turned back at the gates, another group of them were in the front row of the stand and had intentions of larging it up the whole game. This was quickly knocked out of them when nice Mr Policeman and his chums went in after 2 minutes and had a little word with them. Their evening's entertainment thwarted and were quiet the rest of the evening. Chris Tucker, CH manager and mouthy little gobshite, was apparently sent off, as was his assistant. Might be worth keeping an eye out for the local papers in the next week or so, just to see what paranoid, bitter and lame excuses his jism filled orfice comes out with. Rest assured, it will all be our fault.
Organised crime: Two police vans, more stewards than at any other game at GGL I've seen, and the St John's Ambulance boys to boot. And needless to say, apart from a group of 20 local Palace fans waiting in the Plough wanting to discuss the weather, hence its closure, things went off calmly. Just think, had Bromley put as much effort into supplying even half of what was there last night, as they put into being irresponsible, greedy and blaming us for it, none of this would have been necessary.
Song sung blue: Pretty good atmosphere, but was it really necessary to sing "You're worse than Crystal Palace" at them?
Point to ponder: Why DO we try and walk it in the net?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The minute silence for Jim Bacon. Nice to see something dignified in this whole episode. (2) A TV crew there from Football Focus. Which ruined my theory that they were there from Crimewatch. (3) Was there REALLY one of the original troublemakers from AFCW in the club bar? (4) Second half so awe-inspiring that your humble/esteemed editor was engaged in debate about..... fighting. As Richard Littlejohn says, you couldn't make it up
Franchise watch: No. Don't. Read my article.
Anything else? Yeah - I feel exactly the same as we did when we beat Luton in 1988. I still cannot believe that we're actually in a cup final. Of course, we'll lose to NGU...
So, was it worth it? Hmm, an SF victory in our second season of existing? Doubt it.
In a nutshell: Glad this sorry episode is finally over. Now, cup final tickets and cup final song........
3 April 2004
Bloody
hell, that was a strange day. Kingfield 0 Kingsmeadow 3 was
never really in doubt, but it appears that so much anticipation and
hope was geared towards a Franchise draw/loss, which would have sent
them down this season, that in true Dons style, it would fuck up.
From the WUP t-shirts (which has since become my mum's birthday pressie)
to banners proclaiming Franchise's demise, to the planned piss
up and mass orgy drinks in Wimbledon afterwards, when the inevitable
set in, there was a bit of anti-climax. As for the on-field stuff,
our new hero is one Mr S. Small-King. Et pourquoi pas, exactement?
Because of his screamer for our first goal. And boy, did he look chuffed.
Second half saw us go up the relevant gear or three, and after a few misses, along popped Sully to score with his scrotum (officially) or hand (realistically). Third goal, one Jamie Taylor, following a good run and shot. Which was more difficult to score than some of the other howlers.....
Onwards
Plus points: Another win. Another clean sheet. SSK looks good. Come to think of it, so do most of NE's new signings.
Minus points: Shooting as effective as government immigration policy. Defence appauling at times.
The referee's a...... : Well, he was getting a bit of stick from the 10 year old kid beside me. No, he was NOT being prompted by me.
Them: They played better than the FA Vase match, not that that was difficult. Actually breached our defence a couple of times, managed to hit the post, and had they not managed to blast the ball over when they had a clear shot on goal, who knows? Then again, we would have probably won 5-1 after that.
Stand and deliver: I know that everyone loves Woking's stand, but really I find it far too steep for my liking. I even got dizzy looking behind me. And I managed to stumble on the way out...
Point to ponder: There seemed to be far less people there than previous times (for various reasons). So, how the hell was it 1013?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Ryan Gray's attempt to do a rugby-style drop ball conversion from six yards out. Twice. (2) The Woking PA. Anyone remember the woman who did the Plough Lane PA in 86/87? The one who managed to mispronounce Jan Molby's name so spectacularly? Well, this must have been her younger sister. And she even sounded like somebody who works for McDonalds/Ryanair. (3) Observing the suited and booted brigade, ready for their evening of alcohol and punchups. And that's before anyone gets in the ring. There is no truth to the comment that the last time a group of Wombles were dressed so formally, they were being hauled up for incidents relating to the Coney Hall game. (4) Your editor getting lost en route, ending up in Guildford. Told you it was a strange day.
Wallingford watch: Lost 2-1 to the Heathrow Runway Brigade. It appears that we now cannot finish any lower than second, and in fact need only 7 points to gain the championship.
Franchise watch: And as sure as night follows day, the little jism guzzlers go and fucking win. Up at Wigan as well, who by all accounts played like pony. Mind you, only 46 or so in total turned out to watch their goliath-like escape (no, stop laughing). Personally, I want them to go down in Milton Keynes. It would be fitting.
Hello mum: Name the Womble who appeared to blag his way into the TV gantry. And name the Womble who scored his very first hat-trick in a football game this morning, bless him.
Anything else? Not really. Still can't get over how many people were trying to get hold of the Franchise score.
So, was it worth it? A win is always worth it. Sometimes, a loss can make it better.
In a nutshell: Be patient....
1 April 2004
I've
come to the conclusion that reporting on games at the moment seems
futile, as they all seem to be as predictable as an ITV sitcom. For
every Southall, you get half-a-dozen Helipad 2 Airport 0 type
games : we win, win comfortably and that really was that. In fact,
somebody I know came up to me afterwards and said that it was "the
worst game of the season". I dunno, I think it's more a typical
AFCW 2003/4 type performance, not brilliant by our standards but still
whipping the rectal area of everyone else. Anyway, enough of that
hand-wringing. We went 1-0 thanks to one of NE's new intake, one Shane
Small-King crossing for another newbie, George Snee, to slot in. Seemed
to go in slow motion.
Second goal, and indicative of the 5 minute spell we really put the screw on, again SSK was responsible, and a good run/shot by Bolger put it beyond doubt
After that, I went to the bar, and probably should have stayed there.
Oh well....
Plus points: Win. New players looking good. SSK getting nice applause when he went off, he'll do well.
Minus points: Should've scored more
The referee's a...... : Hmm, if I may use another quote, "Good, bad and indifferent". Missed a couple of penalties for us. Arsehole.
Them: They looked like Villa from the 1970s. Played like they were in a bit of a timewarp as well, actually passing the ball instead of just trying to kick us. Also saw two of their top brass up the hAE trying to get the stewards to get them into the Presidents Lounge.....
Song sung blue: Gasp. Shock. Horror. A bit of noise from the West Bank. Some NE chants, and it only took 15 minutes for the anti-CK/MK stuff to start off again. No CS though.
Clubbing together: I'm occasionally (oh, all right - usually) accused of being too negative towards AFCW, so here's a couple of positives from the club last night. Firstly, it's nice that AFCW aren't arsey about people who have lost their season ticket, seemingly for good (like, er, me). Complimentary ticket thrust in hand, zero problem. Also, our catering is getting better, though the chips left me with as much grease on my fingers as a Milton Keynes councillor dealing with an Asda application.
Point to ponder: As pointed out to me in a "oh yeah, never thought of that" type style. Have you noticed how quiet things have gone over the Colne punch-up since a couple of people decided to try their luck elsewhere?
Truth is stranger than fiction: So, what WERE Sky Sports doing there last night?
Wallingford watch: I went to watch them at Grand Dive on Tuesday, and have to say that I was a bit unimpressed by them. It was more of a typical CCL game, which basicially meant that they weren't going at 150% above their normal level. Anyone would think we're a big club or something. We should beat them on the last game of the season, which coincidentally has just been moved to Kingsmeadow. So at least we won't need to go through poxy Oxfordshire with its agricultural niffs and quaint little villages where they all practice incest. Probably.
Anything else? Yeah, I suppose it wasn't a bad crowd last night. Considering the internationals were on, the games are getting a bit predictable and we haven't won the CCL yet
So, was it worth it? Yes, but then only because we won.
In a nutshell: I really, really, really cannot wait for next season. Sorry, CCL....