NEWS
27 July 2005
While everyone was enjoying FCUM, I was elsewhere. Oh well. In the absence of any pics from last night, here's a game for you - can you name the building that I took in Leipzig below? Hint - it was used by the Commies* to subjigate and corrupt their subjects . Answer at the end of this report
* - I was going to lecture people on why communism may just edge fascism in the World's Most Evil Ideology award, but seeing as some of our middle class fans still think that Trotski and Karl Marx were great thinkers, and still have a disconcerting level of attachment to the hammer and sickle, I think it's less threatening to my blood pressure to listen to Wankelmann.
OK, it's not the most exciting game you'll ever play, but it's slightly better than what Tenants 0 Landlords 2 was. In all honesty, if you can remember more than the goals, you're doing a lot better than I am :)
Anyway, we went ahead through a long throw, that was flicked on by Steve Butler. Which was preceeded by the SW19 reader next to me saying "here it comes" when the ball was hurled in. I want this guy's lottery numbers. And then we went 2-0 ahead after Sean Hillier ran onto the ball and slid it home. In fact, the Ks goalie's first touch was to pick the ball out of the back of the net. That enough? Good. Overall, it wasn't too bad, although Ks looked a bit more lively after the break, I still reckon we were more comfortable.
Really though, the litmus test will be the first three games of the season. This team does look stronger than it did last year. If it can gell together during the remaining PSFs then we may be able to justify the bookies making us favourites. It's noticable that the likes of JS and now Ginge are being ousted - the ethos seems to be, if you can't play we won't pay. If the centre backs show the John Scales level of solidity then expect Matt E to join the out list. Those demanding sentiment may be advised to look elsewhere.
Oh, and anyone making a pun about Tony Boot will get a good kicking.
Moving forward...
Plus points: We won. Clean sheet.
Minus points: It rained.
The referee's a.....: Did seem to favour the home side a little bit on occasions. Otherwise, file under the usual PSF type official.
Them: Yes, I know I say a lot about Ks below and in the past, and I will continue to do so, but considering it was their home game, they really didn't appear to make the effort to turn up. Have they fallen that much? Didn't seem so long ago they were getting pretty decent crowds in the Conference and playing people like Bristol Rovers on Sky.
Song sung blue: They had a go at Khosla a little bit and from what it appeared, us as well. And people wonder about the negative attitude we show them. Us? Well, when we could be bothered to sing, it was a case of "You're shit, and you've got no ground". No comment.
Point to ponder: And really, I don't care what reaction this gets. There were 871 there last night, which may be good for the level of football but compared to what this game should get is pretty piss poor. And it's an attendance that if anything has gone down - I know plenty of people who would have gone but because of the opposition's attitude towards us stayed at home. Can we accept that this is now an unpopular friendly to stage? I don't know quite what the deal is with Ks' rent right now, but if apparent non-payment is the same this time next year, I hope we tell them to seek a friendly against Wallingford instead.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The sprinkler going off after about the first minute, which halted the game for a little while. Perhaps we could "accidentally" set it off when we're doing badly during games in future? (2) Anyone else see Tony Boot clapping us off when he went off? (3) That rather toxic burning smell outside before the game. No truth to the rumour that the smell was Khosla burning accountancy books. (4) The Ks PA bloke announcing "Ks #1, who's a secret to me". The joys of a non-league PSF.
Franchise watch: They're playing Carshalton Athletic in a friendly tomorrow. Or rather, the Franchise youth team. Apparently, the Junior Frenzies are coming in an unmarked minivan as well. There's reportedly the token protest, but I really can't be arsed about it. If anything, I'm more pissed off with CAFC rather than Franchise, who are quite simply too moronic to antagonise me properly. CAFC on the other hand show the side of non-league football that makes me desire league football more than ever.
Their employing of Graham "twatted by Sanch" Roberts should have set the alarm bells ringing. Their apparent shafting of Raynes Park Vile in our first CCL season, coupled with the way that their (rejected) plans for their redeveloped stadium just so happened to pop up when we visited them says more than I could ever write down. They do seem to have a real problem with us, as their grubby little mentality towards playing us and Franchise shows. Still, one day we shall meet....
So, was it worth it? Probably. Prefer Sutton next year
In a nutshell: So, who's next?
And finally: The answer to the picture question is........ the Zentralstadion, which is Leipzig's World Cup 2006 venue. They kept the old fascia, cleaned it up and put a rather nice looking 43k stadium inside it. And yes, I know it looks like a KGB building....
20 July 2005
After being in two minds as to whether I can be arsed to write about Geordies 1 Jocks 4, I'll give it a little bit of a go. We won 4-1, obviously, and it was reasonably comfortable enough. All that's worth writing about the game is that Hanwell had a player go off injured after about 20 seconds, our goals came through Nathan Stamp with a shot in the box. Then Woolner, Kiwi Womble (original version) and Ricci Crace. And doesn't he sound like somebody who presents a makeover programme? Oh, and they scored as well.
Overall, I think
some will stay but quite a few will go. Not just referring to trialists either,
I can't help thinking that those who are pushed down the pecking order will
want to go elsewhere to be top dog play first team football. As for
those hoping to make a name for themselves, it's best not to say. After all,
the ones who you could earmark will doubtlessly not get picked after all.
And besides, most of us couldn't place them as it is.
Still, it was reasonably enjoyable. Unlike the following...
Plus points: Win. Generally played OK.
Minus points: Really not too sure about Andy Douglas, so expect him to be in the 2006 Calendar.
The referee's a........: There would be something majorly wrong if you remembered what the ref did in a PSF. Thankfully, he was as anonymous as the housing estate near the ground
Them: The area in which they're in must be the only place within the London perimiter that doesn't have any sort of chippy/kebab place within a 3 mile radius. Seriously. Food inside the ground was edible enough. Mind you, I was so hungry I could have even eaten stuff at KM. Club house felt like a scout hut, complete with paintings of Joe Jordan etc on the wall. Had four trialists from France (known on the OS as Le Trialist). No truth to the rumour they were escapees from Sangatte.
Incidentally, their nickname is the Geordies and they play in black and white. We can make an educated guess that they were formed by some ex-pat Newk fans who wanted to recreate their barcoded heroes in t'smoke. Sadly, they failed : not only have Hanwell Town actually won a trophy since colour TV became popular, but the crowd yesterday was slighly more than the amount of people who watched NUFC before Kevin Keegan became manager.
Point to ponder: Is it me or do we need another couple of games like this and Cobham before we cull the squad? Or even another Bognor type venture?
Truth is stranger than fiction: Coming back to the HT player who got injured after 20 seconds. How lousy must that be to last that short amount of time before getting injured? Proper injury as well, down for a good five minutes. Even Joe Sheerin tried to last for about a minute.
Anything else? Yes. People who read Harry Potter on the tube, especially the 5-6 people in one carriage that I was on last night. Do they consider themselves a "child at heart"? Do they play Playstation? Have they forgotten that they are an adult, with pubes and mortgages? A children's book is for children. It's fine for a Ritalin-dosed sprog to read it. It is not fine for a 40 something highly paid corporate nonentity at a bank in Canary Wharf to do the same. I don't care if they've had a hard day and just want to relax. Snort some coke if that's the case. Please, act your age, not your shoe size.
So, was it worth it? Well, it was an evening out.
In a nutshell: Roll on Saturday. Shame I won't be there.
16 July 2005
[no images available due to technical difficulties]
Urgh. Time to get the cognitive juices stirring again. As it's been a little while since I've done one of these, I can only apologise for any abnormal gaps in quality, humour or anything relating to the football.
Before I start on Rocks 0 Reefers 2, I trust you will buy/have bought the Non League Paper and read the report on it. I'm sure most of you will gleefully point out errors to the person who wrote it. Me, it was fun writing it : the team sheet was incorrectly filled in to begin with, my reading glasses broke and the less said about the A29 the better. And worse of all, having to remain impartial...
Still, I would have happily paid* to have watched that game over again. For a first PSF it was a little bit, ahem, keenly contested. But then, as there were as many people on trial today as Nuremburg in 1946, it was going to show who was up for it and who wasn't. The following stood out for me - Amo Kuman and Andy Douglas, the former being the sort of midfielder we need. Not afraid to get stuck in, and got a bit of a hungry attitude about him. I believe the last midfielder we had like that was Stewart Evans. Could be wrong though
* - note to football clubs. This is not a genuinely held belief on behalf of the author.
Elsewhere, nobody really stood out poorly. True, Scott Forrester looks as useful at shooting as John Gayle, but then we said that about Richard Butler last season. And yes, RB played and looks like he needs a few more weeks to get fit. Andy Little seems to punch as well as Amir Khan. Plenty of people were also asking about "our number eight", also known as Danny Murphy. Then again, they probably thought he was the guy who plays for Liverpool/Cork City.
Oh, and for those who want to pronounce the Pole's surname, it's something like Voh-y-chen-kovski, pronounce the y as in yes. It may not get you too far, but it may impress your mates. And maybe the occasional female foreign exchange student from Poznan.
As for the goals themselves, buy the NLP and find out yourself. I ain't writing it up twice :)
Digested all that? Good.
Plus points: First win. Away. Clean sheet. Good performance all round.
Minus points: Fitness. OK, that may not sound much at this stage, but the Staines manager last week said how impressed he was with his side's fitness. Be warned....
The referee's a......: Well, did you notice him?
Them: Good hosts, nice enough to visit. Pain in the arse to get to if you come from London though. Incidentally, here's a little trick we could try for the KM pigeon problem. There were more than a few seagulls about (the bird, not Brighton fans). What the home fans apparently do when they're losing is that they throw bread onto the pitch that BRT are defending and all the seagulls descend upon the playing surface to fuck the opposition up. Brilliant idea, I'm sure you'll agree. Except that if Matt E had been playing he would have eaten a couple. And needless to say, if JS was still with us, he would have broken his leg after slipping on a feather.
Truth is stranger
than fiction: (1) OK, who's idea was it to have the kickoff at 12.30pm?
It was a wedding. A fucking wedding. Booked 18 months in advance (true love,
eh?). And what's the betting that the annoyingly happy couple get divorced
within a year? (2) Your humble and esteemed editor managing to skank a free
pot of tea at a Little Chef in Fontwell. Think it was my prize for ordering
a Chef's Grill and not getting a coronary afterwards. (3) The obese
larger than life Salad spending the night at the local Butlins, watching Peter
Andre. Seriously. It's sad how somebody so highly regarded could lower himself
to being in a place for failing cabaret acts. And as for Mr Andre..
Anything else? Yeah. I could tell the story about why Rob Ursell is really injured. But I value my life.
So, was it worth it? Possibly
In a nutshell: Nice to be back isn't it?
14 July 2005
There's something wrong somewhere when the Champions League starts before the Open golf or the first Test. Anyway, further proof that the close season is officially over - the long awaited fixtures are finally out. Check the OS if you don't already know
As usual with these sort of things, we like to see the first game, the first away game, the last game of the season and what team will be breaking your post-Xmas hangover. So, this season it'll be Folkestone, Malden Town, Harrow Boro at KM and W&H at home as well.
It's not a bad start, things will be a lot harder, but the first moneybags team we play will be Billericay in October. By that time, we will have settled down and quite possibly stopped having a go at our new signings because they weren't scoring 5 goals a game (ref: Richard Butler).
For some reason, a lot of people like the thought of away trips to Margate and Worthing. Dunno why. Anyway, they fall dead in winter so there will now be the sight of a few Wombles trying to find the only amusement arcade/chippy open anywhere. All this while avoiding the wind, rain and dog shit that seems to be in every British coastal resort I've ever been in. And some wonder why people go abroad on their hols.
The trips to Essex will raise a few comments. I think my new front page says it all :)
Elsewhere, looks like another Easter bank holiday at W&H. No doubt we'll be treated to their fans doing their impression of Manchester City fans again, trying the big one with MK chants then hiding whenever somebody looks at them, and treating the freak 4-0 result like it was the most important game ever. And expect them to lecture us about loyalty and how they stick by their team. At least, they will if Chelski aren't on the telly at the same time.
Oh, and my 30th birthday falls on the same day as we're away to Bromley......
Elsewhere, more goings. Gell and Keith Ward. KW is another one of the old guard being farmed out to pastures new. Well, assistant manager at RP Vile anyway. Sure a couple of Wombles will pop down to Grand Dive and double their attendances. Bit of a shame he's gone, but as we're finding out, nobody is indispensable.
Not too sure if I can say the same about Gell going though. Consider this quote from DA on the OS:
"I am very disappointed to hear of a player leaving the club in this way. I had hoped that Chris Gell would be part of the club this season, but it seems clear that we have seen the last of him."
DA sounds right pissed off, and looking at what has happened, you can see why. If a player doesn't talk to you but mentions something about "changing personal circumstances" then joins another club without you knowing, I wouldn't expect an invite to the AFCW Xmas party somehow.
Also, I believe that Gell has already spoken to the local Northwood press, which is a bit on a par with Koppout's infamous Gnomegate saga, where he told the NOTW about the supposed vandalism but not the police...
We seem to have a habit of players leaving then doing the dirty on us, KC springs to mind. Also, I dunno which ex-player it was gave it out to us when we played away at Whyteleafe last season - must have been a big name as I've forgotten who it is - but it looks like player loyalty is another thing to strike off the AFCW Idealism Checklist.
Finally, FCUM sales appear to be going well. A request from anyone who's going - could somebody who's taking pics please contact me as per usual? I'd like to see for myself how MU fans cope with standing up legally at games....