NEWS
30 April 2006
Hard to believe the season's over isn't it? Went so quickly, and I just don't know where the last 9 months have gone. I hope these World Cup/Euro competitions don't intrude too much in future, I still remember the trips down to Soton in May, when all seemed OK with the world. If only we'd known, eh?
Still, we have the WC to look forward to. Italy will probably win it, as nobody has predicted them as potential winners. Or France, come to think of it. Brazil will have a stinker in the final, Ingerland will join Spain in the "Biggest Underachievers" category yet again and everyone will love Trinidad and Tobago and/or Australia. Me, I'm looking forward to the long awaited Germany v Poland clash. The game on the pitch could be exciting as well.
What - you mean there's still at least two games left for us? Oh yeah, some sort of playoff thing going on. Oh, ignore it. It's not that important...
Actually, I'm approaching the next week with a mixture of excitement and pure abject fear. Excitement because it's the first competitive game in AFCW history that is genuinely groundbreaking. You could claim county cups as important, and FAC games against Thurrock and Stink Albans as well, but this is different. I can't recall the last time there was a buzz like this around AFCW. First ever game at Sutton? Maybe, but that was a sort of post MK release. Now, this is proper footballing achievement.
OK, if we lose on Tuesday, it will hurt. If we win on Tuesday and lose Saturday, it will fucking hurt. We have after all gotten this far, and now we want to win it. We will come back next season a lot stronger and a lot wiser if we lose in this next week. If we do get defeated, this season won't have been a failure.
And remember - Fi$her could beat us. So could Heybridge and so could H&R. We are not there yet : we could fuck up with 30 seconds of madness, or 90 minutes of dross. It is that fine a line. If we win on Tuesday, don't get cocky for Saturday. You know what a bunch of arseholes the Football Gods can be.
That said, even if we do go out now, we can justifiably look back and see how far we've gone. Despite too many draws, we still finished comfortably in the playoffs. I have heard a couple of things this season that, you know, "through the grapevine" some of the players attitudes aren't the best. Well, right now I can't fault any of them. I haven't been to the last two games, but you can sense for the first time this season a little bit of positivity about. Even by the photo above, you just sense that there's a bit between our teeth. Whether it's cruel false hope or something genuine, we'll know by this time next week.
Anyway, enough pessimism. If we win Tuesday I'll ensure you will want to hang yourself come Saturday. I know that you're really chomping at the bit to read the Harrow Boro report from the SW19 Bureau, so here it is. Sadly, no mention of the HB barmaids...
Right! The important stuff first. Tuesday night football will be at Champion Hill, courtesy of Fi$her throwing (?) a 3-0 lead at home against Chelmsford whilst the Swifts soared to a 2-1 victory away at Sluff! Unlike many, both this writer and my esteemed Editor (copious tipping of brow) were predicting the Fish as playoff opponents on the WUP GB. So, perhaps a suitable antidote to the incredulous, Ryman-Police-Heybridge indecision last week that made the FA look like they could choose the next England Manager.
Wimbledon New Boys 2 Harrow Old Boys 1 certainly was a welcome antidote to the season’s pressures. It had that surreal feel of an end-of-season game at Selhurst, with nothing to play for, except now everyone is enjoying themselves.
End-of-term proceedings kicked off firstly with a parade of the younger teams associated with AFCW; then the Junior Dons Player of the Year went to Andy Little (must mention as my daughter was involved Ed!); Reserve Team Player of the year was young Joe Paris; then there was a bit of football; another presentation, this time to Matt Everard by the club; another bit of football; and finally two more presentations: the WISA Player of the Year to Andy Little and Players’ Player of the Year to Wes Daly. All worthy winners. Oh and then the customary Lap of Honour by the Players (see below)
The football stuff smacked of real pre-season fare…or should it be strictly post-season. HOB tried hard but you just felt we always had plenty in reserve. Paris was given his league debut; the back four started as Brennan-Sarge-Woolner-Paris with Lennie behind them. Upfront we used Butler and Batts. We had the better of the first half though HOB nearly scored, via a ricochet, which sold Lennie short getting to the ball, but Sarge cleared off the line and Paris tidied up.
Second half and we decided, mentally, to stay in the dressing room. Three minutes in, a free header from a corner and 6 Dons players standing around couldn’t prevent the goal. Sort of familiar. So familiar I don’t think the crowd noticed until Phillo announced the golden goal time.
So we went up a gear, took an ill-looking Ursell off for Barnes, and re-organised to attack. Two excellent crosses – both so good our attackers failed to get on the end of them brought the goals – a cross by Garrard evaded everyone but the keeper spilled it trying to smoother it and Batts was there at the back post (for once) to ram it home. The second, a Brennan free kick lead to the keeper spooning his clearance/punch out which Barnes despatched back on the volley, at the top of the bounce fully 5ft in the air. Well, that’s one DonsOnline really missed.
After that it was really just playing down to the whistle so the tempered celebrations could begin…. And most of them revolved around the following:
Plus Points: Barnes goal. The win. No pressure. Joe Paris debut – a good footballing brain but needs the brawn! Steve Tyson, another debutant, getting on. Two youngsters showing that there is life after the reserves. Sargent being awesome, particularly as he played most of the game with their No 9 arm around his neck! Everyone feeling happy!
Minus Points: Can’t think of anything…. oh except the pitch. Very random bounce as testified by a throw-in by Garrard to Barnes which, at his feet, pitched and bounced over his head like a Kumble googly (can we mention cricket on this site ed?) (SW19 - yes, unless it's Middlesux CC). Could it be a disadvantage if the final comes back here (football gods note ‘if’)?
The referee’s a …. Hmmn. A highlight in the first half was the bumpy pitch claiming him as a victim as he tumbled. But when he bowed as he got up to the laughter we should have realised he was a bit of a ‘star-seeker.’ Proceeded to interfere more as the game went on until his ultimate attempt at upstaging was doing his warm-down through, in the opposite direction, to our players doing their lap of honour. Crass timing is a polite phrase that comes to mind.
Them: Well, not one of the most unfriendly teams we have seen at KM. Tried to play football but woeful in front of goal which explains their position in the league.
Truth is stranger than fiction… Not sure these are all truths but….. (1) Was it a lap of honour? I mean we haven’t achieved an honour yet to honour…struck me more a lap of achievement…so far (2) What was the significance of Phillo playing Lionel Ritchie’s "She’s three times a lady" when they presented the award to Wes Daly? Is it his Karaoke special or something? (3) Why do we seem to play better when we know second half we’ll face the Tempest End? (4) Will we ever see a team of officials rather than Prima Donna referees? (5) The phrase ‘wetting your whistle’ meaning washing your blowing instrument after you have fallen over in the middle of a football match! (6) Realising the tenacity of Butler R being imbedded in Curley S – just need to curb the over enthusiasm (7) Didn’t notice Woolner on the pitch though selected – good or bad? (8) The queue for the playoff tickets after the game was actually longer than that for the men’s’ toilets at half time!
Franchise watch…. Awaiting the final RLP results, Phillo kept us entertained with the news that Tranmere (who famously lost to Franchise last season allowing them to escape relegation) had beaten them this year 2-1 at the Hokey Cokey. And poetically they had scored their winner in the 89th min (the same time Franchise scored last year). Probably got the second biggest cheer of the day
Play off victim’s watch… The only outstanding result of interest was Billericay at home to Hampton & Richmond. The Essex boys held the advantage at half time, 1-0 but H&R ran out eventual winners 2-1. So they make the playoffs. Now is that good news or bad news for us? Only time will tell.
So was it worth it? Well, it beat wallpapering the garden at home, though some thought that preferable at times in the first half.
In a nutshell… Would you really prefer to be contemplating next season in the Ryman Premier League right now? No, didn’t think so. Bring on the Fish!
25 April 2006
It's four days since we gained our playoff berth, and already the usual confusion and complaining are happening :) Basically, people have convinced themselves that we're playing Heybridge, and up until this morning we were going to play them on a Tuesday evening. Except we're now playing them on Monday at 3pm. Well, I say we're playing them, but we could also play Fi$her instead. Which will be on the Tuesday. Confused yet? Don't worry, you will be.
One thing we can say is that after much soiling of undergarments, we have walked into the playoffs relatively straightforwardly. OK, we were helped by the slump of Staines, W&H and to a lesser extent H&R. In fact, I can now say this with confidence : once we lost at Ricky, but found that H&R and Staines had lost to lesser opponents as well that day, I knew we were going into the playoffs. You don't have that massive stroke of luck for nothing. Frankie's 94th minuter vs ETU merely confirmed it.
So, what of the playoffs? We've never experienced them ever. They bought them in the season after we went up into the top flight (presumably to prevent the likes of us ever getting up there again. Nice try fellas) and we've really got no idea of how to approach them.
Basically, from what I've heard, you treat them like a cup game. The league form really goes out of the window, which is why you don't press for a team you've beaten in the league. Law of averages, and all that. While our aptitude for "big" games has been a question for years, at the same time we've handled cup finals pretty well. Mind you, we were the dead certs on both occasions...
Perhaps the hardest game left this season is Harrow. Reason why is because however you approach it is going to be detremental to the PO. Play a full strength side and you risk knackering them out. Play a reserve, and you lose the momentum Mind you, I've never quite understood the latter line of logic. Our team will be massively up for the playoff (or at least they should be).
A rest won't hurt them, an injury certainly will. Are we really saying that we have so little strength in depth that we simply have to play our best squad in the most meaningless game* of the season? I for one would be happy to see Simon Tracy in goal, Justin Skinner, Carl Leaburn, James Blunt, Sir John Gielgud, Colin Jackson, Bonnie Langford and the HMV dog on the teamsheet on Saturday. I will, however, draw the line at Nick Roddis.
* - well, it isn't meaningless but in the grand scheme of things, we could safely lose it 5-0 for all the difference it will make
So, in the meantime, just chill out. Read a book, listen to some easy listening, whatever will give you a nice bit of calm and serenity. By Monday/Tuesday, you will be a bundle of nerves.
Anyway, two kind souls have sent me Hendon reports. To save bandwidth, you can read them here and here. Enjoy...
17 April 2006
OK, I'm a bit drained, which is why this report may not be the best you'll ever read. But even if we now fuck up the playoffs, I can look back at Chelski 0 Loyal Supporters 2 with a little bit of satisfaction. Not so much we're back in the playoff position, but in the space of three days, two ghosts were laid to rest. We managed to win a "big" game for once on Saturday, and now this.
If anything, this game was harder than ETU : to play at a venue that we haven't won at since January 1967 apparently, coming back off a good win, and against a team that treated it as their World Cup final.
And perhaps most importantly of all, the team managed to overcome the nerves that we (ie the crowd) collectively showed. Granted, there was loads of singing, but just as many secretly wanting their own toilet cubicle with plenty of Andrex. Even against ETU, when the shit was hitting the fan, the vibes affected the team. Today? There was about one or two semi-brown trouser incidents and that was it.
So, what of the game? Well, if I writing this in my professional capacity, I would say that it was a scrappy game won by the team with the better finishing. But I'm not, so I will say that it was a fucking shit pitch against a bunch of moronic cloggers with a dildo sucker of a referee. That's what makes this victory so much sweeter.
Once Paul Barnes scored with his bonce, you really couldn't see us losing. Well, in hindsight you couldn't, I think at the time we were thinking that they'd equalise with every forward run. Despite one bit in the second half when AL made a good stop - and boy, the W&H striker was soooo looking forward to giving it large for the goal celebration - it really looked a foregone conclusion.
Actually, we really should have got a couple more ourselves. Whether it was the fatigue from two massive games in three days, or the surface, or just one of those things I don't know, but our second goal was pretty much deserved. Not to mention the subsequent lowering of collective blood pressure. The main thing is that we have to keep creating chances. Do that, and eventually some will be put away.
What we need to do now is have a rest for a couple of days. Hendon next Saturday is now even more massive than today. Lose, and we're back to panicking with one game left. We're not actually in the playoffs yet, anything can still go wrong. Of course, if we win....
Plus points: Win. Away. At a graveyard ground for us. Clean sheet. Coped with the "playing" surface brilliantly.
Minus points: Wes and Sohiby (?) injured.
The referee's a......: Described as "not bad" by an SW19 reader. Described as a "fucking cunt" by everyone else. There will be some who may think that the ref did well by not sending Wes off. A little reminder to those people at the amount of bookings that were ever-so-curiously not given when our players got a size nine (yes, I'm talking about you, #8). I'm sure two players crocked was purely down to our thuggish tactics which resulted in our players fouling their own team mates.
Them: Their players really hate us, apparently. Bless them. At times reminded me of a CCL type team, who huffed, puffed and decided to kick us a bit when they'd lost the battle of skill. Which was about 5 seconds in. Their fans were quiet, funnily enough. Can't think why. Don't think they even tried an MK Dongs comment. Still, tall poppy syndrome is a horrible affliction...
Truth is stranger than fiction: The ensemble of Dons fans behind the goal, who decided to ape Newk fans and strip to their bare chests. Some of them had bigger tits than the Wombelles.
Franchise watch: Let's be honest - they're going to get out of the relegation places. It's a pisser, but as usual we start to dance on their grave and we find they haven't filled the hole where the coffin is. They can't keep avoiding the trap door forever...
Playoff victims watch: Worthing managed to mess it up again. Really, it's now a straight scrap between us, Staines and H&R for the two spots. If we win and Staines don't, that's it. Game, set and indeed match to us. A sure sign, therefore, that Hendon will commemorate their last ever game at Claremont Road with a staggering 5-0 victory.
Anything else? Yeah - Ramsgate got promoted today, and seems like there was a bit of aggro afterward there as well. Allegations of punches, abuse by their players and even a steward getting "involved", shall we say. Couple that with Borehamwood apparently looking good for promotion, and suddenly consolidation in the RP doesn't seem quite so appealing.
So, was it worth it? Yes. I'm not really a fan of W&H. Dunno why.
In a nutshell: We are going up, say we are going up? Let's see...
16 April 2006
Well then. Where the hell do I start on DOA 3 ETU 2? I could talk about Frankie's last minute goal. I could talk about the first 25 minutes when it really looked like a 7-niller was on the cards. Or I could mention about how we took a Smith and Wesson, placed it against our metatarsal, fired it and expected to run a marathon afterwards.
Let's start with the most memorable incident. When we got that free kick in the 94th minute, somehow I knew. Even when it went wide to Barnesy (hey, we're giving him crappy nicknames now), and he fiddled about with it, I knew. When Frankie meandered his way forward, I kn...... ah hell, you get the point.
This was a classic Wimbledon style goal. Correction : this was old skool Dons. For one of the few times this season, everyone seemed to want the same thing. We started out of the blocks quicker than Rio Ferdinand chases a lucrative contract, and we really could have gone 4 goals ahead at 3.20pm.
At 3.28pm, the unwelcome side to our game popped its tortoise head up. Truth was, when PB missed his one-on-one, ETU knew they could get back at us. This is why IMO we won't win in the playoffs, even if we got there. We miss that ability to kill off teams - granted, we can slit their throat and leave them for dead, but we always manage to give them a few stiches, a sterilised dressing and a free trip to the local A&E.
But if you want to be unduly optimistic, the second half could be the performance of the season thus far. I don't think I can recall a time in AFCW's history where we had to fight and got our just reward. Christ, DA himself was the most animated I've ever seen him (he certainly couldn't really do the interviews afterwards). Remember what I said recently about us not being able to win the most important games? Dare I hope that a nasty little psychological hurdle has been crossed? Guess we'll find out by 5pm tomorrow.
OK, enough getting carried away. We're nowhere near there yet. We're still sixth, we've got the Walton and Hersham World Cup Final tomorrow and we all know what that entails. This is after all our first step. But we've got through that first barrier of winning a game. Let's be honest, when it got to 2-2, you feared the worst. ETU could have easily gone to 3-2 and you had visions of people running onto the pitch and throwing season tickets.
But sometimes, there are games where it's meant to happen. Remember when Man U beat Sheff Weds in the 97th minute all them years ago? I want to look back on this season, and point this game out when it all happened. Actually, I'm more likely to point to last week, when our worst performance of the season was somehow matched by even worse performances by H&R and Worthing. That's twice in a week where the luck's been with us. You're just hoping, thinking, praying* that it's telling us something. In short, you want to believe, but you daren't because of the way it all seems to fuck up this season.
* - come on, it's Easter Sunday. Even Jesus H Christ himself would have been pleased with our comeback.
Needless to say, we'll lose 3-0 tomorrow, but for once it would be nice not to be let down.
As for the rest of it....
Plus points: Winning. Paul Barnes. The second half. The first 25 minutes of the first half. Seeing the old Wimbledon back in spells (and I don't mean the move-to-Dublin/MK/Glasgow-alleged-match-bribery old Wimbledon either)
Minus points: 3.25pm-3.47pm.
The referee's a.....: No comment. Did give the requisite injury time for our goal though, not that even he could avoid it.
Them: OK, I do have a sneaking respect for them, as they're to the RP what we were to the Premiership. Used gamesmanship to full effect at times and lost because of it. Managed to take the least amount of away fans since CCL days. Their manager was not a happy bunny afterwards...
Point to ponder: Coming on from the point above re: away turnout. I wonder if there's a case for putting the away fans away from the WB? Dunno where you'd put them (the JS stand presumably) but it's time we gave ourselves every advantage we can, no matter how minor. Everyone else would, given half the chance..
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The match sponsors. Being a non-sexist, feminist publication, SW19 will not mention five o'clock shadows and producing more testosterone than the men. Nor will SW19 mention that there were 20 uncooked dinners yesterday evening. Still, at least the Presidents Lounge was nicely hoovered afterwards. (2) Anyone see the "discussion" at the end between RB and their player?
Anything else? Yup, your humble and esteemed editor did his first ever Radio WDON appearance. Which was cut off after 3 seconds :) Basically, I didn't know that swearing was a no-no, although by the sound of it nobody really complained about it. Mind you, the studio guest on the live US golf coverage on Sky last night said "bullshit" live on television, so I'm not the only meeja type to make a faux pas. Or something beginning with "f" anyway. Not too sure if they'll let me on the WDON airways again, especially as the rest of my appearance came from Ron Manager.....
Playoff victims
watch: Are Staines slipping up at the gloriously right disasterously
wrong time? Saw them this week against H&R and they were shite. They
lost 2-1 to Fi$her and could do the same to Heybridge. H&R themselves
beat Redbridge 3-1, which probably wasn't so much of a shock. Still, they
did better against Ford Utd than Worthing, who again fucked up with a 0-0
at Margate. Still in our hands...
So, was it worth it? No, it wasn't. It was horse wank personified.
In a nutshell: Frankie, do you remember me....?
10 April 2006
There ain't too much I can add right now. I'll give my considered (?) opinions later in the week. Hell, I need something to do on Good Friday. Meanwhile, relive the memories of Billy Ricky via the SW19 bureau.....
Why do we do it to ourselves? We play down our hopes for promotion only to see the team start winning and then once we think a play-off position might still be on the cards, results such as the Hampton one and Ricky 2 Not So Tricky 1 seem to dash our hopes once more. What odds on us getting into the play-off now they appear to be all but a distant possibility
I’m not too sure what it is, but things just didn’t seam to click, even after Barney but us ahead inside the first ten minutes. They equalised after Andy Little failed to come for a cross that he would routinely take and then took the lead when Little came for a cross which he didn’t seem to call for.
He did make up for his errors with his second half display but by then it was too late. With Steve Butler out injured, Dave Anderson’s usual plan B of sticking his skipper up front was unavailable and to make matters even worse, Smeltz and Plummer could well be suspended for three games each after their number 16 conned the ref into sending both of them off for ‘violent conduct’. More on those two knobs later.
All in all, it was a really shit day and after four sending-offs, two defeats and a serious injury, I hope I’m not the only one that wants to avoid this dingy part of Essex for a long time to come. Anyway, on with the show…
Good Points: Ermmm… the bacon rolls (they were huuuuge!) Oh, and the return of Richard Butler. I would have preferred if he was down with ressies getting match practice before returning though, Barnes is doing his job quite well at the moment. Also everyone else fucked up so amazingly we’re still only a point off the top 5.
Bad Points: Another poor performance after we looked like we could have been marching towards the playoffs. Two more sending-offs and more key players missing from our end-of-season run.
The Referee’s a.....: Different one – but they’re all the same anyway. I heard someone mention ‘it’s a different ref from the last two games, we might have some decisions go our way.’ Yeah, bollocks. The ref was a complete joke. From the overall inaccuracies in his general decisions (for both sides) to his handling of the two ‘incidents’ he didn’t give me any confidence that he knew what he was doing.. I’m not sure how anyone can have any confidence in the officials based on the many inept performances we’ve seen this season. And this little tirade is from someone who usually defends referees and their assistants…
Franchise Watch: They won thanks to two goals in a minute from their only good player. Surely he’ll be gone in the summer even if the Frannies manage to stay up.
Point to Ponder: Is the Drogba* effect coming down to the non-leagues? After the ‘Ricky number 16 went down like he’d been shot for both our sending-offs, where’s the sportsmanship gone in our national game?
* insert any other diving foreigner that has ‘graced’ the Premiership
Truth is Stranger then Fiction: I’m thinking that the AFCW Supporters team should drop all their good players. This was the fifth or sixth time this season that they played really, really well in the morning only for the senior boys to play just the opposite in the afternoon. Hopefully only coincidence.
In A Nutshell: Yo-yo season.
5 April 2006
Another season, another county cup final. Yup, Tangerines 1 Lemons 2, and suddenly the talk isn't of unbridled woe but cup finals, trips to Woking/Sutton/Imber Court, flags and putting one over on Ks.
What a difference from Saturday. OK, it wasn't the world's greatest game, and until Urse's wonderstrike we still looked devoid of confidence. But we needed to step outside the RP pressure cooker for a little bit. We're sure as hell going to be in there right until the wire.
People really needed to feel good after Saturday, and this was a damn fine way of doing so. Had we waited until Ricky, things could have got a little fraught. You know how a bad performance can linger in your mind for a week, then you maybe try too hard to rectify it the next week. Right now, I feel a little bit more confident about the rest of the season.
And yes, so it's a "tinpot" cup, and while I like going, it ain't the playoffs or the FA Trophy. But people enjoy the cup finals, and isn't football about enjoyment? The fact that it's against Ks gives it an extra spice, though I wonder how many of their fans will boycott because we've taken over their ground? ;)
The game? Oh, we conceded yet another iffy penalty thanks to the invalid we had from Saturday (and I don't mean Steve Butler). The ref from now on will be known as the Slaphead Cunt, I can't bring myself to dignify him with his proper title. We looked nervy, bit out of confidence, perhaps because we knew that if we got within 15 feet of a tackle, we'd be done. It was only RU's wonderstrike - and no exaggeration here, it was pretty god damn special - that lifted us. Second half, we scored with SS's header. Dwayne P should have added a third but he hit the post, and that was really it I guess.
At the end, DA had
a MASSIVE row with the Slaphead Cunt. It seems there are two stories about
this : either one of our players went to shake his throat hand, and
DA pulled him away, or we were celebrating for more than three seconds (remember,
this is a semi final victory) and he tried to pull everyone off the pitch.
Anyway, you just know the Slaphead Cunt will take immense pleasure reporting
us. Hell, he may even try and get six points deducted off us.
As for the rest of it...
Plus points: A win. Away. Cup final beckons. Grew in confidence. RU's goal. SS's second. Cleaning Saturday out of our system. Could go up a gear if needed.
Minus points: Defence. Mickey Woolner's injury.
The Slaphead Cunt's a....: I gave up writing on him after about half hour. I'll give you an abridged version with choice quotes : Equine molesting cunt. One eyed, biased, make-AFCW-lose-at-all-costs arsehole slaphead. Broke up semi-final victory celebrations because he wanted to rush home to see if his "Child's play" DVD from Amsterdam had turned up. Excessively underdeveloped reproductive organs. Pervy kicks about reporting DA after game. Will watch DonsOnline with glee over decisions. Will deliberately crash DO because he wants to destroy everything to do with us. Failed. Kill yourself. Cannot wipe arse without adult help. Denis Donaldson. Genital lice. M25 central reservation. I think you've got the jist now.
Them: Pretty much up for it, can see why they're doing well in the league. Coaching staff had far too much to say for themselves (see below). Personally, I'm glad we won because I must be the only AFCW fan who (occasionally) works in a place where they not only know about RP but actually follow a team. One of the bosses has a soft spot for..... Ashford Town. And he promised to make my life a misery had we'd lost ;)
Playoff victims watch: Hampton and Richmond 0 Heybridge Swifts 5. Now do you believe me when I say there's more shocks to come in this league yet? Seems like there's a one-point gap between 4th and 7th. Come to think of it, second isn't exactly out of reach. Of course, we would all like to finish fifth....
Point to ponder: Heard this a couple of times recently. Are we lacking in fitness? I'm not sure if we've got a fitness coach now, which says a lot if true. I don't know whether it's just bad planning, circumstances or just inability to get the right people in*, but to me it's as important as a new player. We have a goalie coach, and it shows. I think we're pretty OK up front, but somehow we need that bit extra. Wonder if Ian Dowie (DA's mate) has anyone spare from SP...?
* - and I don't mean incompetence, it's getting somebody to do a practically full-time job on part time wages. Something I still think too many of our fans have quite grasped about this level.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) It's an April evening in BST, so you would expect pleasant spring evenings, lambs gambling in the field, daffodils blooming, that kind of thing. So why did it feel like Margate? I'm sure a polar bear came on, though he was booked within 5 minutes by the Slaphead Cunt for breathing on an opposition player. (2) Why does Ashford Town (Mx) play in the Surrey Senior Cup? Mind you, Palace play in it as well, and they're really from Kent.
Anything else?
Yes. This is how not to do crowd control. An argument between one of our
fans and the mouthy Ashford manager (and his demented assistant) ensues.
Nothing more than a couple of verbals. Anyway, coppers and steward get involved
to calm down situation. Police calm down, but steward gets a little too
close to an older gentleman. After questioning steward's handling, the increasingly
stressed steward yelled at the top of his voice, "you fucking arsehole
I'll fucking throw you out". Or something like that, but he deffo said
"fucking". Cops immediately take steward to one side, who had
a hissy fit by throwing his dustman stewards bib on the floor and
acted like the whole world was against him. OK, it was piss funny at the
end, but he was lucky it was us he was gobbing off to. And people complain
about our bibbed lot...
So, was it worth it? It's always worth getting to a cup final against 12 men.
In a nutshell: We're the famous AFCW and we're going to, er.... Imber Court.
1 April 2006
Pussys 0 Beavers 4. OK, check the date. Yup, it's April the first. There's no way we could ever surrender a run of form like that. There's no way we could ever lose a "must win" game in such a fashion. There is certainly no way that we could go from fourth to seventh just like that...........
Bah. Reality sucks. Oh well. So let's get it over and out of the way. This hurt. This hurt far more than the first fixture against them, when they stole the three points. This wasn't the 4-0 against W&H last season which had comedic qualities. This was Comedown Central, and it felt like a kick in the bollocks with steel toecaps.
And yet, you just sensed that there was one further game this season where everything would crumble and turn to dog shit. You see, after Heybridge, and after Harrow, and especially after Wealdstone, we were a little bit too, well, confident. We were thinking of possibly third, maybe even second. Right now we're seventh, which technically puts the playoffs out of our hands. It won't work like that of course, but this is the last time we can play like that all season. No ifs, buts or "hmm, well..."
Right now, the Best Defence In The Division (R) looks anything but. I genuinely think they will be the reason why we'll be in the RP again next season. Ignore the two penalties after the break that killed us, we shouldn't have been in that position in the first place. Poor Andy Little must have felt he was dumped somewhere in Afghanistan with a "I've converted to Christianity" t-shirt on. As it stands, we've now lost our most consistant player for a couple of games, just when we need him most...
The thing that worries me most of all is how we always, seemingly without fail, fuck up these big games. Today, we had 3313, next time it'll be nearer 2313 and we'll win 4-0. When we played against W&E, we had another big gate and spectacularly underperformed. All this week, we were informed that everyone was up for it and revenge was ours.
I think I've found out why we lost. We froze. I don't know why, but the pressure, the expectation we put upon ourselves to win yet again killed us. I have come to the conclusion that there is a massive mental block at AFCW. I think we - fans, staff, players - know that if we lose all hell breaks loose. When you lose against a Chelmsford, it's one thing. When you psyche yourself up like plenty of people did today, the fear of failure only seems to get higher.
Today, when I was in the tea bar, the bloke in front of me pointed out that if we played today like we did last week, we'd win. I certainly don't believe there is that much wrong with our team or manager. Hell, the last few games have shown us at some of our best, and certainly got the rest of the division sitting up and taking notice. What a difference a week makes.
The same old arguments will doubtless pop out, the same old retractions to follow. Excuse me while I stifle a massive yawn. Fact : there is a big psychological problem in the AFCW mindset. It will still be there even if DA was pushed tomorrow. It was there under TE, and if truth be told it happened in the WFC era. I think as a whole body, we just can't jump over that big game hurdle.
Look at our recent "big" games. We lost to St Albans. We lost to W&H in the FAC. Thurrock took us apart. Remember AFC Wallingford? Yes, I know we played well, but we still lost 3-0. Hell, even Colne in the FAV did us. You could argue the toss over Sutton in the SSC, but it's not really one of the top trophies. See the pattern?
Am I being unfair? Maybe. Am I trying to deflect from a very shite performance? Possibly. But I came away today shellshocked. Not angry, not upset, just gobsmacked. Remember when we lost 7-1 to Villa? It felt a little bit like that. OK, we tell ourselves that we will not play as badly as that again this season. It may be keeping our spirits up, but somehow it's got a bit of truth to it.
Even after today, I don't think we're in too bad a position. OK, if the season finished now, we'd be at Chelmsford again next season. But our fixtures certainly give us some hope : they are all winnable, and even with the possible exception of W&H they're not what I describe as "big" games. Yes, they're all extremely important, but right now I'd rather be playing Hendon than Heybridge. This division is going to go right down to the wire, and we won't be the last fucked up result of this season. And thinking positively for a moment, when would you prefer the inevitable stinker to be? Today? Or the penultimate game of the season?
I suppose I ought to mention something about the game. It could well have been different had they not got two penalties. I've watched enough football over the years to know that most teams can go 2-0 down at half time and the game isn't remotely over. Their second penalty was straight out of the Drogba manual (at least their sizeable and silent following felt at home). The ref was doubtless enjoying his poultry based meal beforehand. Certainly was enjoying munching on a cock anyway. And OK, perhaps saving SS for Tuesday isn't a good move by DA, but then a cup final does bring in money.....
Anything else to add? Not really. I can't be arsed to go on a tourette splurge and print every swearword under the sun. As said earlier, I'm too gobsmacked and nowhere near angry enough to use the word "beaver" in its other context. The crowd support was pretty good, very little obvious bloodletting as well. Also, still can't believe that exactly a year ago, we lost 4-0 to W&H....
And if you're still pissed off, and none of what I said makes you want to step away from the noose, Franchise lost.
(final thing. The new forum is now up and running. Yes, I said it yesterday, but it's now officially replaced the guestbook. You can still somehow find the guestbook, but it's a day away from finally being pulled. You don't have to register, but it should now be spam free...)