NEWS
25 September 2005
Who gives a fuck about the FA Cup anyway? It's a shit tournament these days, ever since Man U withdrew from it and Littlewoods sponsored it. Who wants a glorious cup run with all that money from potentially drawing Darlington away in the first round?
Well, judging by H&M 0 W&H 3 nobody in a blue and yellow shirt did. I don't think I'm over-exaggerating when I say that we've reached the watershed. For probably the first time since the club was formed, I have been genuinely embarrassed by what has happened on the pitch. This wasn't a 3-0 stuffing against a decent Thurrock side, this was a pure out and out pile of shit.
So, what's the problem? Are our players living in the AFCW comfort zone? If DA's comments afterwards do happen, then the shirt sponsorship department will be on overtime again. It does seem weird that we're already changing the squad just a few games in, but the patience has snapped. Quite simply, the players haven't performed, and you can't see it getting any better without yet more major surgery.
One thing is, this puts pressure on DA. If he changes the squad again and we start not only winning but looking like we give a shit, then job done. It is a learning curve after all. If not, he's gone. Already, there's some anti-DA murmurings. How much of that is knee-jerkism and how much of it stems from people still being pissed off at the CCL squad being culled I don't know. But I think we can safely say that DA isn't the most beloved of Dons managers at the best of times...
That said, and this is something too many people appear to have forgotten, we do have to be careful that we don't make this club unmanagable. If it hasn't started already, that is. There is probably more pressure at this club than any non-league side, with the exception of a few Conference clubs. Personally, I think there's too much pressure at AFCW in general. I've read a couple of quotes recently how some of our former players are enjoying playing again because they're out of the pressure cooker environment. And they're right. Somebody yesterday said that nobody is playing with a smile on their face. And boy, it shows
As probably said last couple of reports, there's a very surly air around AFCW right now. The players, the fans, you name it. Nobody bar the ultra-committed seems happy to be at the club right now. Attendances are falling and so is the self-belief. Maybe the hangover from the last three years has finally caught up with us....
One other thing that has grabbed me is this. Somehow, I can't help thinking that there's a bit of a halfway house approach at AFCW. We're not prepared to join the likes of Fi$her etc in their moneyed manner, yet still expect Chelski-esque results each week. It seems a bit piecemeal at the moment, a bit incomplete.
I mentioned the watershed moment, and I think we now face a stark choice: we either decide to make some of our staff full time or we downgrade our expectations. If we go full time, then anyone signing for us knows what the craic is. Play poorly, you don't eat. Simple. Pro footballers are better at their craft simply because they're at it more than the amateurs. And they play football more as well.
Right now, our lot turn up and know they can bugger off back to their day jobs again even if they play badly. This wouldn't usually matter so much, but some of them are on contracts. Presumably not too shabby ones either. Anyone playing pro at our level knows that he needs to perform, because there ain't a lot of other options at our level. If we're already issuing contracts despite our "careful financial approach", then we're well on the way to being professional anyway.
Unfortunately, just as Richie Blackwood took the wrong bits off Lenny Henry and Will Smith, we seem to have taken the wrong bits of professionalism and amateurism. In short, we seem to have deals that wouldn't be cheap to break and yet get performances that redefine the word "amateur"
How often do we train? Once a week? Twice if there's no midweek? I would presume that a couple of full timers would train more or less daily. At least it would show committment to playing football, if nothing else. And yes, it will be a risk to take on professionals. Ideally I would prefer it if we didn't have to pay full time wages but still perform like a genuine promotion side. But 10+ games in, the main alternative to it doesn't seem to be producing results....
It will be far, far harder to downgrade our expectations. We were never the little side grateful to get any chance to stick it up the big boy. We are the big boy. From the very start, we were always subconciously expecting Conf football within five years. There's nothing wrong with that - hell, I'd rather have that attitude than middling around the Ryman 1 and be happy with it - but if we're going to reach those heights then we need to act professional.
And yes, the above may not have much sense or relevance or indeed humour. But there was no way I was going to mention the game.
Anyway...
Plus points: Stop laughing
Minus points: 3pm until 4.50pm.
The referee's a.....: We've had him before apparently. His inability to read the game stemmed from the fact that he was from Luton, where the term "further education" is as big an oxymoron as the term "Portsmouth Ladies"
Them: Hungry, wanted it more, had belief and were more than happy to do what they were doing. In short, just what we used to do. Wonder if DA does go if we should repeat history with W&H? You know what I'm referring to.... Their fans? True to form, they did the MK chants and afterwards did the "Easy" thing like a typical post-Euro 96 moron. The sad thing is, it's totally predictable.
Point to ponder: Has moving the away fans down the side of the JS killed the intensity of the crowd? OK, we were pretty noisy for most of the game (that is one positive), but that little extra spark has gone. Probably all the more reason to tell whoever is responsible for the TE fuckup to move their flabby arse in gear.
Truth is stranger than fiction: Didn't seem like an FAC game at all. There was no buzz, no tin foil cups, nothing. I know that the competition has been diluted over the years, but even so I've never known it this bad. I suppose this is what being a Prem fan must feel like at the moment, although in our case we don't need a second mortgage
Anything else? Franchise lost. Though even that seems less hilarious than usual.
So, was it worth it? Fuck off.
In a nutshell: I see a bad moon rising......
21 September 2005
The best way I can describe Ford 0 Nissan 3 is that it was like playing a computer game you're crap at, switching the difficulty level back to "easy" and perform an arsewhipping. Really, this was CCL/Ryman One revisited, right down to the small crowd. And my motivation to write about it :)
The goals first : SS headed practically unmarked from a cross, then Barry Moore shot to make it 2-0. After good work by RB, to boot. Then SS shot from outside the box. All in the first half. And that is more than enough to describe the actual game.
We really did take our foot off the proverbial gas after that. Quite simply, Redbridge were utter shite, except even they managed to find some holes in our defence. Though I get the feeling that we won't be playing them next season as they look like relegation fodder already.
One thing I hope this game doesn't do is lull us into a false sense of security. If we play like we did last night against the likes of Fi$her, H&R etc, you can forget seeing 3-0 scorelines in our favour. It does seem that we'll probably win most of our games against the bottom half teams, and will put in Worthing-like performances against the others. I think that's the form of teams often called "mid table".
Anyway...
Plus points: Won. Away. Clean sheet. Might install some confidence back
Minus points: Second half as entertaining as the Premiershit. Defence still parts like the Red Sea.
The referee's a.....: I have no notes written down about him whatsoever. Christ, this game was even more non-descript than I first thought.
Them: Like their parent company's cars, they fell to pieces after about 30 minutes. Nice enough bar (curiously like most East London/Essex teams), good tasting Guinness as well (even the extra cold stuff). Better than the KM stuff anyway. Their #9 has the nickname of "Lucky". Can't see why, he looks nothing like the dog* in those extremely shite "More Than" adverts
* - incidentally, said mutt recently died of cancer. All together now :"that's not very lucky".....
Crowded house: Looks like the general boredom with football has hit us as well. This is one of the the easiest away journeys (if you live in London that is) and yet only 500 turned out. Is that the worst turnout of the club's history? Certainly since CCL days anyway. OK, it's an evening game, and there's something deeply uninspiring about the whole AFCW experience right now. It's been suggested that people are "AFCed out", certainly there's a slight chore feel to games at the moment. Be honest, how long has it been since people were gearing themselves up for games? Probably Folkestone, and the cup final. Looks like we'll need to do somebody like H&R just to get us going again.
Point to ponder: Is it me or does Dave Sargent look slower than a broken down Ford Capri?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Price list in the programme for the refreshments. Didn't look bad prices, either. Told they tasted nice as well. (2) Robert Doisneau pictures in the clubhouse. Makes a change from team photos on the wall. (3) Being offered crab sticks by some harrassed looking woman. Didn't think she was too impressed with what she was being asked to serve up. Don't think the crab was particularly enthusiastic either.
Anything else?
Yeah. Spurz lost in the last minute to Grimsby in the Milk Littlebugs
Cocaine Worthless Carling Cup. Those of you who have ever done
a trip to Grimsby, especially at night, will no doubt sympathise with the
Spurz fans and their awfully long fifty-miles-off-the-motorway-turnoff journey.
Especially when they lost in the last minute. To a League Two side. With Jermaine
Defoe and Robbie Keane up front. In the tournament with their best chance
of Euro football next season. Yup, you'll sympathise...
So, was it worth it? Suppose so. Those in the bar watching the Spurz game for the second half made the best choice though.
In a nutshell: Back to reality on Saturday.
18 September 2005
I've waited at least 24 hours to do AFCW 1 Withdean 2005 2 and I still can't really put my thoughts down adequately. Part of me thinks this was a complete pile of goat semen. After all, we haven't exactly been CCL like this season. And yet part of me thinks that this is what tends to happen when you get promoted into a higher division. Remember, we haven't actually lost a game since W&H away last season (and that was after we'd won the league, so that doesn't count).
The thing that has grabbed me most is the reaction of quite a few people. It's exactly the same vibe that we got when we were drawing against people like Corinthian Casuals last season (especially when we were 11 points clear and not exactly likely to do a Newk). You know the sort of thing, not enough skill, passing shite, players we've bought in are not as good as the ones got rid of etc etc.
So, a few rehashes of old SW19 stuff. We lost. Get over it. This won't be the last time we lose a game. OK, losing to a goal that was so scrappy it was embarassing is a serious pisser, but this does tend to happen in a competitive league. Christ, for about the last 20 minutes I thought that it would have finished 3-1 to us.
Yes, some of our play was shite. Watched a Prem game recently? At the time I've written this, I've just watched one of the most tedious, boring, passionless Liverpool v Man U games in living memory. These are two highly skilled, professional teams. We are a bunch of amateurs who have just stepped up into a far higher division and have (for the most part) found the going reasonably tough. Teams like Worthing are settled. We're not.
So some of our new boys aren't performing (as heard on more than one occasion yesterday). And haven't some of them come from higher divisions? Including an ex-QPR type? OK then, as repeated last season : if you're good enough to have played at a a higher level, you obviously have some talent. Certainly enough for the RP. As said above, other teams are generally more settled than we are. Granted, some new players will not make it, that's the chance you take with any signing. Did we need to get rid of a great deal of our squad? If you want to stay in the Ryman One for a long while, then no. And remember, there was one player last season getting some right stick. Can't quite remember who he was, but I think Butler was his surname...
Yes, we're on a bad run of form right now (worst in AFCW's history I think). Because we've never had a bad run of form before of course - slipping from 1st to 12th in about a month in 86/87, OGEM's tenure in the late 90s etc were obviously figments of my imagination. We'll get going again, especially when most of our injuries clear up. I'll be more worried if we look like relegation fodder.
And yes, DA's comment's were a little bit, well, strange. You should have heard the words coming out of his mouth :) TBH I don't know why he said them but I do think there's a bit of media savvyness going on. Very few managers are loathe to criticise their players in public. Perhaps we ought to put on our old WFC tapes and remind ourselves that every so often, we may be defeated.
Needless to say, there's something sad in the above comments. Not so much me writing them, more the fact that I fully expected to have to scribble them in the first place.
The game? Well, they bossed us early doors for fun and they scored with a header. We got back into it, Barry Moore scored with help from the goalie and they fucking got it in the last minute. Bastards.
And with that...
Plus points: We scored. Barry Moore's free kick taking.
Minus points: They scored. Twice. Seem dead at the back. Shit passing. Unable to play for 90 minutes again.
The referee's a............: Sigh. Incidentally, who out there thought one of the linesmen was a woman? Seriously, from a distance, one of them looked remarkably like a female PE teacher/lesbian (were there any female PE teachers who weren't dykes?). Couldn't have been Wendy Toms though, the linesman had some vague idea of the offside rule.
Them: Best team played this season. Or rather, played well at the right time. Can't believe the ex-Frannie didn't get more abuse than he got. I expect a lot of people will be wanting comments about Alan Pook, so instead feel free to write your own opinions in the space provided below:
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Song sung blue: We asked "are you Withdean in disguise?". Judging by the way they beat us, obviously they are.
Point to ponder: How desperate are we to have RB playing? I can't help thinking that normally he would have been out another week or so. Does make you wonder how much strength in depth we really have.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The newly segregated bit for the Worthing fans. Somehow, I can't help thinking that them being in the open diluted the atmosphere somewhat. (2) A well-known Womble with known dubious vision and typing skills winning some fitness award. Needless to say, he turned up for the game in ..... a car. (3) Spotted the new Wessex Wombles flag. Whatever happened to the old one? (4) The photographer who kicked the ball back onto the pitch and managed to take out the corner flag like a cricket stump. Rumours he will partner SS and RB are as yet unfounded.
Anything else? Not really. In an act of symbolism, the OS's computer went haywire when they scored their 89th minuter. Oh, and who were those birds with the clipboards? Surely not another bit of AFCW fundraising...?
So, was it worth it? Gah.
In a nutshell: Redbridge is vital.
14 September 2005
Now that's more like it. Trees 0 Woods 2 was really an un-necessary fixture, but it does at least put us back on some sort of winning form. It just goes to show though that we really need people like RB back, because the way we've been heading, we'll get stuffed 5-0 by Braintree.
And boy, were we grateful for RB's goal. It settled us down, made them chase the game and this time you didn't really think they would come back twice in a week. Certainly Moore's stunning free kick killed them off, and we could have easily added a couple more after that. At times though, we still look like we're expecting to win.
They had Lee Passmore sent off, who in the traditions of most ex-AFCW players didn't exactly stick it to us. Of course, the AT lot were convinced that had he still been on the field, they would have won 4-1. Yes, and they get 500 people every game.
Of course, any joy from winning was finding out we'll be playing W&H in the next round. Oh well. Expect the usual stuff from them about how loyal they are. And as Chelski are playing at home on that day, we might even be treated to more than 10 of them chanting MK at us.
So..
Plus points: Win. Away. Clean sheet. RB. Didn't really look in as much danger as Saturday.
Minus points: Passing shite. Still look shaky at times. RB going off.
The referee's a......: Jezus H. Christ. I don't think I've written "wanker" down so many times in teeline shorthand as last night. Gave everything to them, seemed to ignore every challenge on us. And disallowed Dave Sargent's goal for, I quote, "fuck all". Still, he did make up for it by sending their player off, which annoyed their goalie a little...
Them: Up for it, a bit too up for it (hello Lee Passmore). So was their goalie, who jumped gazelle like when the fight started. And did his impression of Gareth Hunt when somebody asked him how his head was after a challenge. That's gratitude. Wouldn't look out of place in our division, although whether they were going at the usual 200% against us is anyone's guess. Their fans? Usual part-time non fans who gave the big MK stuff from the safety of 100 yards away*. Reportedly very quiet when they went near anyone with a Dons shirt on. Funny that. Oh, and didn't they know that they're supposed to sing "we've only got 10 men" when they're 2-0 up? Perhaps they are MK Dons fans after all.
* - judging by a story I was told last night about a Spurz fan getting a kicking during the FAC semi final in 1988, I do wonder how long it will be before one opposition numpty chants MK in the wrong place at the wrong time. Remember what I said in the Bromley report about there being an element of ours who have been reading The Naughty Nineties?
Point to ponder: I wonder if familiarity is breeding contempt at AFCW? It wasn't the greatest turnout last night (though 600+ isn't too bad considering the short notice and it being in the middle of nowhere), and you can't help thinking that now the novelty of away games is wearing off only the big ones will get CCL level crowds. We've played AT before, and I doubt if W&H will get much about 2000 (with or without credit card bookings). That said, I wonder if the general disgust at football right now is a factor even at our lowly level?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Was it me or were there relatively loads of coppers about? (2) Really nice to see an on-field brawl for the first time in ages. Nobody was maimed, although one of our players did look sparko while it was all occuring. Wimp.
Big club watch: No, not Franchise (chortle) but Chelski. Big Champions League game to further cement their status as London's biggest club ever, and they get a whopping 29,575. Yup, the £50 entrance fee finally told. It's not just the rent boys, I heard on Talksport last night that they're advertising Fulham v West Ham tickets. Even during the dark days of the mid-to-late 80s, I don't ever recall that fixture needing to be advertised. Mind you, I bet they never put the price of tickets in their ads*..
* - last year, I seriously toyed with the idea of watching West Ham v Forest on a spare Xmas day. The fact they asked me for £31 for a Championship game just proves how many casual fans are being put off going, almost for life. After all, would you be so inclined to go this yuletide?
A bit of me wants these clubs to wise up, start charging more realistic entrance fees and sending mercenary overpaid and undertalented cunts like Drogba back to whence they came. But actually, a large part wants them to continue on as they are right now. Keep paying Rio Ferdinand the price of a banana republic's GDP so they can keep acting like the dictator of said country. Because then, when Sky decide that the Prem is worth a lot less money, there will be many a brown trouser in boardrooms up and down the country.
I really think football at the top level needs to collapse big time. It really needs the likes of Arsenal, Middlesbrough etc to suddenly find their gates on their training ground locked. Extreme? Well, how else will these sides take the hint? Empty stadia right now is embarrasing for these clubs, but it's not likely to change their business ethos, because they'll probably wait until the next upturn to justify themselves.
In short, just look at Leeds United. Or us.
Anything else? Yup. Afterwards, there was a rather loud rendition of "we've got no history" coming from (I presume) our dressing room. At least it shows that our players do hear chants. Like the MK stuff, you can't help thinking the insults from no-markers just act as a spur...
So, was it worth it? When we get to Wembley in May, you can say "I was there".
In a nutshell: How many rounds till the first round proper?
11 September 2005
Somehow, you knew this was coming. I guess that Deadwood 2 Ash Trees 2 could have been worse, but quite simply this must have been our worst result in ages. Why? Because we were 2-0 up, looking pretty comfortable and suddenly we were close to a knockout that may have even made Final Score.
The thought that crosses my mind is this : does the AFCW factor affect our players? Not so much in the intensity of playing for us, but the attitude that as we are AFCW we shouldn't be breaking a sweat against lower division teams. We have basically forgotten to learn how to play for 90 minutes. So, why is this so? I dunno.
Also, is it me or does something not feel right at AFCW at the moment? Have we just found out we've become a "real" club without anyone noticing? I can't quite put my finger on things, but the uncompleted Tempest End seems symbolic of the club right now. The framework is there, but we're now in limbo. We're waiting for the cladding to be put on, in more ways than one. There seems to be an air of frustration about : we can see it, but we can't have it right now....
It's not as though we're out of our depth against the likes of Staines. Yes, we have injuries, but we're a big squad dammit. If we were being outplayed week in, week out, I'd accept it. But we're not. We weren't outplayed yesterday, except for about the first five minutes and the last ten. No team has taken us apart so far, even with a great deal of our side out.
Obviously, if you want to read the goings on in the game, buy the NLP. Just hope they got rid of the very minor typo I've just discovered.
As for the rest of it...
Plus points: We didn't lose.
Minus points: Should have won.
The referee's a..... : Oh christ, didn't he just love himself? Didn't he just love the way he went over to our bench and calmed it down for suggesting he was a cunt? Or the drop ball? In future, we ought to have the match tickets stating the ref's name at the top, with the actual game in very small letters underneath.
Them: Got out of jail, and they knew it. Certainly celebrated their draw like an FA Cup final win. Never seen so many of their fans in one place. You can see why they're top of their division. Their manager was a nice bloke though, and their help in our setup should never be forgotten.
Point to ponder (1): Could a replay work in our favour? DA said last night that he's going to make some major changes - fuck knows who, but if RB is close to fitness again expect a cameo - and it's not like we're going to have a fixture backlog. It seems that AT knew they had their chance yesterday, and we really need to get that performance out of our system...
Meet the press: Your humble/esteemed editor spent the whole 90 minutes in the AFCW press box. No, SW19 hasn't suddenly become an officially recognised publication of AFC Wimbledon. Basically, the NLP report needed quotes PDQ and it was easiest for me to get them there. First time I've ever been in there, and I've been in worse. Anyway, I have to say it is a dead weird experience watching us from the confines of the perspexed booth at the back of the Main Stand. You can't join in with chants, you have to temper your excitement when we score, and you do have to remain a bit impartial. On the plus side, you do get lots of freebies : free entry, free programme, free teamsheet, free drinks, free use of the Red Bull bird....
Three's a crowd:
Hands up if you believe that 1619 was the real turnout yesterday. Hmm. I couldn't
possibly repeat what many (most?) people were thinking without some legal
bitchslap on me. So here's another thought : what is the capacity of the ground
sans hAE TE? 3000? If so, there was no way that it was half
full (and this comment was made by two non-AFCW people in the press box).
2500? Makes you realise just how small KM is, if so. And didn't the capacity
of KM go up a few seasons ago simply because of some change of circumstance
on the hAE?
Point to ponder (2): Michael Harvey. Yes, I know he got a good reception, but I'm still uncomfortable with him being back at us. Reports of an unsavoury incident in one of the bars yesterday doesn't really sound surprising, and I wonder how many of his hangers-on will piss people off? Obviously, if he scores 10 goals within the next month, he can have rows with as many coppers as he likes.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Saw Nasty Womble and his old man looking healthy enough in the Main Stand. Remember that the old guy was the one stretchered away at Bromley. (2) What was the little "discussion" about in the WB after their second goal?
Anything else? Not really. Just can't help thinking that we need a big lift somewhere. Or perhaps just as importantly, somehow.
So, was it worth it? Well, we get a nice trip to Middlesex on Tuesday
In a nutshell: The magic of the cup..
7 September 2005
Christ, have we become the draw specialists all of a sudden? Once again, Tinkers 1 Pikeys 1 followed a depressingly familiar pattern : concede within the first two minutes, click into gear and almost consider ourselves unlucky not to win. OK, we seem to have more injured people than a New Orleans shelter but even so, I'm still genuinely fucked off that we aren't picking up the points.
I suppose I shouldn't be too hard. Don't forget that we did hit the bar, and Bromley didn't really seem that impressive. But we have to be winning these sort of games. Rather interestingly, Fi$her and Rickay didn't win last night either, and they arguably have more to lose than us.
Needless to say,
I missed their goal, though my excuse perfectly valid reason was that
I wasn't actually in the ground. Looks like our defence wasn't inside either,
by the sound of it.
We got back into it, and despite too many offsides, I felt we weren't going to go away empty handed. And lo, the Kiwi popped up and at least saved the teeth gnashing.
Oh, and I saw somebody by the name of "Junior Harvey" going through the players entrance. Yup, MC Harvey appears to be back. Not quite sure what to make of it to be honest - I seem to remember he didn't exactly leave on good terms, and his exploits since then haven't exactly put him in a good light. But on the flip side, he's apparently only asking for petrol money, and just as importantly, DA does seem to have a very professional setup - something I believe neither TE or NE quite managed. Still would prefer another striker though, although that could well be in the proverbial pipeline. In fact, with Craig Carley returning, it does seem like some of the old CCL gang may be making an Elvis-style comeback. If so, expect Mehmet Mehmet and Dave Fry to be on next week's teamsheet.
So, moving forward..
Plus points: We didn't lose. Shane Smeltz. Coming back again after early goal conceded. Shane Smeltz. Looking quite potent when we decide to pass it about a bit. Shane Smeltz.
Minus points: We didn't win. Conceding after about 2 minutes in. Again.
The referee's a.....: Steven Cock. Yup, him. Remember when he got a rather respectful writeup in the programme during the CCL days? He's gone from the new Collina to the new Barry Knight.
Them: Last time I wrote about them, their fans kicked up a massive stink on their messageboards about how I portrayed their shithole. This time, I won't, but there was a fair few of them. Made a bit of noise, though did prove their gypo education by claiming that we had no history. Obviously, our FA registration saying we were formed in 1889 may not be widely known in Kent. Reportedly gave it some mouth afterwards, though conveniently behind some stewards....
Programme watch: Plenty flicking through it just to see if there was any major fuckups like the last one. And there were a couple spotted : a game with the wrong day being advertised, Maldon away still being credited as being 2-1 to us and I'm reliably informed that there was a - quote - "horrendous error" on page 17 but I haven't quite figured out what it is yet. So, on a par with last year's efforts then. Incidentally, a couple of people actively didn't purchase the programme last night for the first time in eons. Good reputations are hard to gain and easy to lose.
Truth is stranger than fiction: Remember that 80s synth-metal guitar hybrid tune that was played at the end of the game? Well, did you know that it was the same incidental music that was played on the BBC on 14 May 1988? Seriously, dig out your old tape of it, and about 20 minutes before the game, they ran down the teams with it. I've no idea what it was called, but I think somebody had been listening to the Miami Vice soundtrack when they composed it. Incidentally, when you do watch it again, just tell me that the BBC didn't wizz through our team lineup quicker than Liverpool's. And people are still convinced the BBC is impartial
Anything else? I spotted a kid, who probably wasn't much more than 17, openly bringing in about 3 cans of Miller. Not only that, but the junior keghead was wearing a Rangers shirt and managed to convince himself that he was one of Johnny Adair's followers. How smart of him. I just found it a bit of a shame that there wasn't a Shamrock Rovers fan behind him.
Serious point is that we do have an element of support who are just leaving puberty but haven't quite worked out that the people in The Naughty Nineties did take a punch or two occasionally. I've heard the allegations of misbehaviour coming back from Slough, and of one incident last season where a train carriage ended up without its lights. The thing is, not only does it give our name a little bit of a black mark, and may draw a little bit of unwanted attention, but you can't help thinking our own Baby Squad will get a bit of a pasting should they bump into a couple of Chelski.
So, was it worth it: Ummm
In a nutshell: Third. Bah.
4 September 2005
Like last week, you might have to excuse the slight brevity of ETU 1 FOAD 1. Again, the hot weather hasn't helped, neither has looking like a lobster (fair skin, can't beat it).
Nor did the early kickoff. I interviewed DA afterwards for the NLP (buy it or forever be a Franny) and basically he won't be pushing for many more 1pm kickoffs if he can help it. Though a cursory glance at the Billericay site suggests our game with them on the 8th of October will be a 1.30pm kickoff.....
Of course, an early kickoff probably explained how Wes Daly managed to put the ball past Andy Little in about 90 seconds. It really was amazing : while it's not on a par with Noel Blake's efforts for Pompey all them years ago, it did have the Alan Reeves v Aston Villa about it. Can't say many people around me were quite so impressed.
Mind you, we got back through Mr Howard, and it won't harm Wes' confidence to supply the cross for the goal. But it just shows once and for all that this division is hard. Not only were ETU strong but they could also play a bit. And yet again, for the first half, we were shown to be sorely lacking.
So, why is this? Why does it take about 30 mins for the team to start looking like playoff contenders (which to be fair to us, we do once the second half kicks in)? I think really it's because even though the season is under way, we still don't really know what to expect. We still think that teams will be in shock and awe over us and they're not.
Still, there is hope : it took about 45 mins to get going against Maldon, and it took 30 minutes yesterday. By the time we get to October we'll be getting CCLesque.
One thing is for sure, Bromley on Tuesday is pretty important.
Anyway...
Plus points: We didn't lose. Came into the game. Sonny Farr (NLP man-of-the-match simply because we got better when he came on).
Minus points: We didn't win. The first 30 mins. SS not netting towards the end.
The referee's a.......: Not so much the ref (though the sarcastic response to a decision may say a lot), but the lino. Basically, decided to annoy everyone by stating in no uncertain terms that the benches "must not swear across the pitch". Cunt.
Them: Tried hard with the bar, though I'm told the ETU fans bar was nicer. There was apparently some gobby Essex geezers (are there any other type?) who I think may have put off some people from staying behind. Under-rated team. Ground wasn't quite so inviting, when I drove in I thought it was a building yard (though I think the agricultural niffs and the occasional caravan didn't help). Don't think too many fans were overly impressed by the catering facilities, certainly there were loads of unsold cans of pricy Miller at the end of the game. Perhaps our fans are voting with their wallets?
Mind you, Lee Patterson (their manager) likes us. In an SW19's ARMY exclusive, he quotes : "It must be fantastic to have a crowd like that support. I'd give my right arm to have 1000 people watch us every week. They've been a credit to their team - they've not come down and abused our players. It's been a pleasure". What a nice man.
Bench warfare: If the game warranted 2.5 out of 5, the goings on between the benches warranted at least a 4. It had all the hallmarks of a situation comedy : wisecracking home team manager who managed to silence one of our fans, DA and co playing the straight man and the Blakey-like figure of the lino. This sort of thing should be at the Edinburgh fringe.
Point to ponder: Why are we picking up so many injuries? RB, Ammo, Jeff Campbell, Matt Fowler - and that's just this season. If SS gets crocked we are quite simply fucked up the arse without any lubrication. Is this another symptom of us coming to terms with this division?
Truth is stranger than fiction: The nearby village is the only place I've visited where the chippy opens at 11am on a Saturday and the pub doesn't. Mind you, the chips were nice...
Anything else? Yeah, who did win the raffle prize? For some reason, the prize of going for a date with that blonde raffle seller (quote: "You'd do that from behind") wasn't on there.
So, was it worth it? Well, you got the chance to watch the Holiday Home Burners vs Ingerlund afterwards...
In a nutshell: We're still second.