NEWS

27 August 2007

Bollocks, bollocks and thrice bollocks. It wasn't supposed to be like Same Old 1 Same Old 1 this season. It was supposed to be stuffings each and every Saturday and Tuesday. It was supposed to be teams withdrawing at the last minute lest they got a battering off us. It was supposed to be joyful and merry and it wasn't a case of if, but when we would lift the RP. March? April? Maybe even late February if we receive the run of the green.

Let's face it, we've gone backwards, or at least it feels like we have. We have a new manager with decent ideas, a new enough team etc etc etc..... hang on, I'm sure I wrote that recently? Well, if I have, or even if I hadn't, I'll repeat it again. See, for the last three games we haven't been all that in truth. I missed Ramsgutter, but I saw us play shit in the first half against Wealdstone, shit in the second half against ETU and shit for a great deal of today's game.

Is it me? Probably. But I'm more perplexed than anything (well, I'm actually more pissed off but I can't be quite so angry in my old age). Why does this seem like a step back into the 2005/06 season, let alone the 2006/07 one? Why can't we keep a lead? Why is it harder for us to score than it is for John Prescott to be an MP after the next election? Why do we just launch it each and every fucking time? What happened to the decent passing of the Wealdstone (second half) game? In short, why is it deja vu all over again?

That's something TB will need to start earning his money for. See, last year the reason was that DA wasn't full time and couldn't devote himself to sorting stuff out. We have no excuse now, and to be honest I don't think TB will start hiding. I believe he was still "having words" a while after the final whistle. Certainly in the last two days we've had our character tested to the full and we haven't come out at all well. One point from two games? You can add your own comment for that.

Yeah, I'm telling myself it's only August. But August can quickly become September, then September becomes October. Continue this sort of thing until then, and not only can we forget automatic promotion but the playoffs suddenly look a bit iffy. Today was supposed to get ETU out of our system. Instead, we just retoxified ourselves, and now Saturday's game takes on too much importance already.

Is it us? Are we to blame? Well, perhaps we are. See, I noticed today that there was an air of disappointment that we weren't stuffing Staines out of sight. Are we, as AFCW fans, expecting far too much from a new side and manager? Yes, we want out of this poxy league ASAP, but we still have to learn. We still have to get a battling mentality, because for much of the second half today it seemed like we'd bottled it big time. My pre-match prediction of 2-1 to Staines was getting a bit too real, put it that way.

And let's face it, if we can't do that on a bright, sunny August day at a relaid KM, how the fuck are we going to cope in December at Ramsgutter? Bottom line is, we're not. At least not without getting rid of that panicky mentality that has already - and worringly - set in. Yes, we did show some glimpses of what we're capable of, after about 91 minutes. Perhaps doing that for the last 20 minutes instead of the last two might win you a game or three?

OK, enough bitching I suppose. Although we haven't made the best start, and we can't even say we're unbeaten. Though I wonder how long it'll be before somebody calls for the return of DA and mean it. But even today with better luck in front of goal we could have run out 3-1 winners and nobody would complain. Yes, this side will get better, and TB's track record whips all of the opinions that have and will be expressed over this combined.

But fuck, I didn't want it to be like this again by the end of August....

So.........

Plus points: We didn't lose. Will probably lower expectation. Chelmsford and Billy Rickay drew.

Minus points: We didn't win. Conceeding a goal in predictable circumstances. Trying to lose the game between 55 minutes and 89 minutes. Playing Plan C without giving a thought to Plan B, let alone Plan A.

The referee's a........: Compared to Saturday's excuse for a human being, he was pretty good. Certainly let the game flow for the most part, sometimes even forgetting to blow up. Also forgot to play advantage for us a couple of times....

Them: Took the game to us in the second half, and quite honestly if they'd won it I wouldn't have complained. No, they weren't the Chelmsford/Billy Rickay level, although thinking about that has made me feel even worse. Lewis Cook still has a shite haircut BTW.

Point to ponder: Just how much do we rely on Jason Goodliffe and Fergie right now? Fuck knows what will happen if either of them get injured. Oh, and why was I non-plussed over Robin Shroot?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Speaking of JG, nice to see him giving a very public dressing down to the rest of the team in the post-game warmdown. Actually, this is better than last season. Not that that's saying much though (2) One of our top safety bods wearing a whistle and flute. Why? (3) And in this age of sobriety, is Phillo applying for a job with Radio Three? I can't help noticing that he introduced Micky Haswell and Dave Sergeant as Michael and David, which seems terribly formal for an association football contest, don't you know? I look forward to him doing shout-outs to the Royal Circle posse during a live performance of Wagner's Tannhäuser und der Sängerkrieg auf Wartburg..........

Anything else? Yeah. Had a little read of the programme, and noticed the meeting between the Ryman and AFCW. Actually quite interesting, although I think too many peoples' views of them are permanently damaged. Perhaps by the time we finally leave the RP, relationships would be thawed out a bit - and judging on today's performance us getting promoted won't come until at least 2012. What did interest me was how a lot of clubs think we're "too aggressive" when it comes to safety. This does tie in with a comment an H&R fan made last season which suggested we were just simply too big to deal with.

I hope other Ryman fans and club officials read this site, because I wish to address this. Here goes : the AFCW fanbase is effectively a league level fanbase. A mere seven years ago a very sizeable percentage of people now at AFCW game were watching Man Utd v Wimbledon. Make a trip to Old Trafford, or Cashburden, and then compare it to the setup at a Ryman ground. No BBB, just do the exercise.

Now, imagine coming from watching games at Old Trafford to watching games at, say, ETU. It's a culture shock, especially when you don't perhaps get as many stewards as you would expect. And if you get sold alcohol on the terraces, well..... You can probably gather that we would prefer to be back watching league football, and you'd be right. There is still a massive dent in our fanbase's psyche which TBH will never fully heal. Asking any of us about the ins/outs of AFCW, why we want Franchise dead (not as a rivalry, but actually dead), why we take more away these days than our fanbase did in the Premiership etc is one thing. Getting us to stop is another.

Our "aggressive" demands for safety are simply so that we don't get incidents like the cockmunching cunt who decided to rugby tackle the ETU goalie each and every week. It's dangerous for everyone - players, staff and supporters, and from a purely selfish viewpoint it doesn't half blacken our name.

Ask anyone who was at THAT Coney Hall game what would have happened if there'd been double the amount of stewards (ie two) at that game. I don't doubt that all safety stops would be pulled out if a Ryman team drew, say, Brentford in a cup tie. Why then do the rules change when we come to town? Why the naievity?

Yes, I can well imagine dealing with us is an absolute pain in the arse, even if every single supporter behaves themselves. Although it's worth noting the Wealdstone chairman was proud of the way that they handled both us and Watford's games there (even if he did admit it was very hard work). Remember though that we ourselves have to do it every other week, and get it spot on, and like every other club in the Ryman we're allowed a tie-up with a local league side for backup stewards if necessary (last year it was Chelski, this year it's Brentford).

This is from an AFCW fan who has seen his side play both at Anfield and at Ash United. I honestly found places like Sandhurst, Merstham and Walton Casuals better to go to than some Ryman clubs. Granted, people like Chelmsford and Margate seem sorted, but why is it 100% our fault/responsibility? It's not ideal for any of us, but that's the way things are right now. If we have to pay for our own security (which we did for a time in the CCL, and that mostly worked OK) so be it. If after this we still slagged off for wanting more security at our games, I really, really have to openly question what the agenda is.......

So, was it worth it? What a fucking waste of a bank holiday

In a nutshell: Never underestimate football's ability to piss you off

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25 August 2007

Am I supposed to be this fucked off this early in the season? Three games in? And with a new manager and new team in tow? Well, after ETU 1 ETA 0 I don't think I remember being this fucked off after any game last season. Whether that's a good sign or not I don't know - certainly expectations are higher this season, and maybe it's just a reaction after a performance which TBH we were due.

I suppose it's because defeats this season will count more like six points dropped rather than three. We can't rely on people like Chelmsford to keep dropping points (although I certainly don't share the attitude one or two of our fans have already have about them - fuck, I hope they never do a teamtalk) even at this early stage. That said though, this is the third game of the season and we still have a good eight months of football still to play. Titles can't be won at this stage, and they can't even be lost.

Writing about the game could be a bit too depressing right now, so I'll sum it up as best I can. This was bad. Too many poor passes, not enough movement, not enough urgency even. Ball spent more time in the air than my neck could take. Whatever happened to the decent passing we showed on Tuesday night (second half)?

Even so, we had two goals disallowed and perhaps that's what did us? This was, in short, the kind of Ryman league game your mother warned you about. If this had happened under DA he'd been slaughtered and rightly so. I guess it's because generally, people accept that this is a bad day at the office, we can do much better and most probably will.

When we went 1-0 down, I considered it a test of our character. Today, we failed. Today, you could say we went a step backwards. You could also say it's part of the learning curve of this new setup. Personally, I consider today more of a blip than a crisis. I've watched enough football to know when a team just has a bad game and when a team is shit. We are most definitely not the latter, although pre-season concerns about our firepower seemed more than justified at this stage.

That's not to say I'm not fucked off. Christ, I am - I really fucking hate losing. I fucking hate listening to the oppo players celebrating like it's the FA Cup final whenever they do us over. I really fucking hate officials like the ones we had today (see below). I really fucking hate coming away and finding out other teams have gotten three points. Yes, I'm a bad loser, and it's not an experience I want to have too much this season. At least Monday should help get this out of the system,

Speaking of bad losers, a sadly predictable aftermath today. One of the Chav Army decided that he'd had too much beer and attempt to have a go at their goalkeeper. I mean, literally, have a go at their goalkeeper. I was by the dugouts, but from what it appeared said chav ran onto the pitch at the end and launched himself at one of their players. Cue a bit of a mass bundle. Said chav was then literally dragged back by one of our own fans, and it appeared that one or two of our players had to restrain him as well.

Initial thoughts: if we don't get a fine and/or point deduction out of this, we can consider ourselves very lucky. Certainly there is no excuse whatsoever for this cockmuncher to be allowed into our games for a while. If we weren't skating on thin ice after Bromley, we certainly should be now. And as usual, a pattern emerges - relaxed atmosphere, precious few stewards, alcohol on open sale in sight of the pitch, you can guess the rest. I have to say now that we have to make sure that NO alcohol is served during the game at ANY of our games, be it home or away. It's happened too often, and it's clear that a minority of our fanbase are incapable of acting like adults.

Which leads me to a question. Is AFCW in control of these people? Today, said invader certainly could be picked out by a lot of people in an identity parade. I know the club has quite a sensible policy over such matters, but now I'm wondering if it's enough. We certainly don't have nearly as much power over them at away games as home, and which will always continue to be a problem unless special security is always laid on. Presumably at our expense.

Again, many more of these sorts of incidents and we will have the book thrown at us. Let's face it, the Ryman won't hesistate to do us over and we won't be able to get Jim Sturman to bail us out this time. In addition, if our fans get whiff that all away matches will be attended by chavvy kegheads who feel it's their duty to be pricks then attendances away will start to drop.

22 August 2007

To be honest, I wasn't intending to write a report on Stones 1 Beatles 2, and this isn't going to be a proper one anyway, but it's worth making some general observations.

What struck me last night was how things have changed in a mere three months. I know we've all waxed lyrical about the TB Revolution, how everyone should really give the points to us before the game starts, Champions by Christmas etc, but last night's first half performance rubbed away some of that. And not a bad thing either. It was shades of some of our shittier performances last season - nobody really had a clue what to do, they hit the post and if I'm being honest I went to the bar at half time thinking how lucky we were to be ahead.

Anyone there last night (and it looked more than 800 odd, although getting there in the evening is a real pain in the arse, even though it's on the tube) would have seen what I mean by the three months comment above. I honestly didn't recognise our team in the second half. We were crossing well, passing, looking like we could add a third, that sort of thing.

And that's why there's so much optimism about for this season. Last season this game would have ended 2-2. In fact, last season this would have been 2-2 and everyone would have expected it. Last night, I just didn't feel we'd let it slip at the end - and even if we did we'd go straight up the other end and score.

Let's be honest here, titles aren't won by beating Chelmsford or Rickay. They're won by coming to places like Wealdstone and getting the three points. You should win most of your home games if you're serious title contenders, if you don't you don't go up. Simple as. Away games on the other hand really do seperate those with pubes from those without.

I don't really like it when people say that our opening fixtures are easy. They're not. They're winnable, as every game in this division is, but they're not easy. In fact I think ours is harder than you may think - Ramsgutter we all know about, Wealdstone could have been a banana skin last night and for much of the first have was, ETU aren't the shite they were last season, etc etc. So let's not be too cocky, last night will be quite typical of the season ahead.

So why the change in ethos? Happier team? More cohesive unit? Having not only a Plan B or even a C, but a Plan A as well? Better fitness? All of them combined? Probably, but I would say attitude as much as anything. Last night when it went 2-1, it was going to stay 2-1 because we wanted it to remain that way. Sounds obvious I know, but last season I was never too sure that was the case.

A lot of people did comment on how fit we looked. It's the old Liverpool can play for 90 minutes adage - Wealdstone were a match for about 60 minutes then they ran out of puff. If we've built ourselves up well over this pre-season, and continue it on, a lot of teams will fall away late on. We certainly looked as sharp on 85 minutes as we did on 55.....

OK, there's luck as well involved. AL did slightly get away with handling the ball outside the area, although whether it was deliberate or not I don't know. The thought of Paul Seuke going in goal saw a rush of phone calls to the Samaritans from North West London last night. There may be one or two incidents that went our way as well, but think about this. Next time you watch Man Utd, or Chelski, think about how often they get those little decisions in their favour. They win as many games as anything Cristiano Ronaldo does. Again, last season AL would have been sent off - this time around he wasn't. A sign of things to come?

So all in all, I'm probably relieved about last night if anything. Not in a "fuck me we got away with that deluge" way, but more of a "at least it shows that we can do ourselves justice" manner. Puzzled? What I mean is, we played like we did in the 2nd half, and I expected that as the norm and not as a rarity. Continue all that, and this season could be fun.

Normal SW19 service might be resumed at ETU, but this will do for now. Nothing of any note off the field, no mobs of 1000 tooling up outside Northwood Hills tube taking on the OB. Did see a couple of locals get ejected though, although by the look of them they probably forgot to do their homework. Although it was a bit strange to see Finn and Beckford at the tube station after the game like the rest of us plebs.........

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19 August 2007

First game of the season, and typically I'm not there. Still, Gillingham's press facilities were nice even if the parking wasn't. Strange how even though I last went there a mere 5 years ago I have absolutely no recollection of the place. Mind you, what I do remember the last time I went there was a spewing Woking Womble (no, not Woking Jon of DO fame) laid out sparko on the pavement chundering after a few too many vodkas. No idea if his mum is still threatening to kill me.

Before I let Jampot take over the reins for this game, I wish to bring your attention to this. Now, this was for a good couple of hours the official Ramsgutter match report. Note the terminology used to describe us. Needless to say that it has since been slightly altered, but the fact that this was allowed to go up really won't improve peoples' perception of them.

The thing that gets me most is that the author was actually an independent sports journalist, which is exactly what I do. Now, as anyone who reads this site will gather, I don't exactly hold back sometimes. But I always make it clear that this is a personal site. What I write professionally, be it for FourFourTwo, NOTW, Press Association, NLP, our OS or whoever, I do try and be as impartial as possible. I certainly wouldn't pass off a piece of shit like this guy did, especially for an official club publication. I sincerely hope that the guy is regularly unemployed, although I get the feeling he writes a couple of articles for a website and pretends he's a pro. His writing style is wank anyway.

Does it matter? Yes it does. You can imagine the outcry if our OS referred to Hornchurch as AFC Coldseal. You can imagine what grief we would get if we mentioned that Chelmsford were bribing the referee every single game - and before any of Essex's finest get the hump, no you're not bribing officials. Though you'll obviously need to do anything to beat us ;) We're quick to get judged, often by some right unsavoury characters, so by fuck we should fight back at every opportunity we can.

I can't pretend to like Ramsgutter at all, but even I would have written a less biased report for their website. And I certainly wouldn't have come across like a drugged up chav when writing it.

Anyway, no idea if JP was under any influence when he wrote below, but he's bound to be less inebriated than I usually am....

Unusually for here, lets start with a quote from our official hard copy mouthpiece (the programme):

“His side might not always play pretty football, warns new manager Terry Brown, but he and his squad are devoted to the cause of winning. You’d better believe it! "

Well I, and another 2700+ Wombles do too! This game perfectly echoed those sentiments.

If you were expecting Brazilian football on the back of the crest of the wave of enthusiasm for the new regime of Brown-Cash you would have been severely disappointed.

If you had wanted a clinical, professional performance to win the game; minimise the effort when winning; give the subs the opportunity for some match time; and still have time to work on a bit of shooting practice, then Brown Shirts 2 Green Shirts 0 was for you.

This game saw me lose my AFC Wimbledon © 2007-08 virginity and after a slightly nervy start, I liked what I got!

The defence was as solid as ever, with Goodliffe (who, after seeing his picture on the programme masthead page, I will think of as Voldermort – if you really don’t know who that is, ask your kids ;-) and Leberel forming as commanding a middle defence as last year. Garrard and Haswell just carried on where they had left off.

Midfield, was of course the revelation. It knew how to defend; it knew how to attack; hell, it knew what a midfield was meant to do, link defence to the attack, push on into the area to support the front two and drop back quick against the counter.

And the front two were full of running and mischief, if still a little impotent in front of goal, still looking perhaps a week or two behind the rest in readiness.

But hey, it didn’t really matter – midfield did the job with new boy Hatton, him of the Bjorn Borg hairstyle, slotting in two (both set up by Jolly). The first was a simple drive from the edge of the box with just the goalie to beat but the other looked like a poacher’s goal, something any striker would be proud of. Jolly laid what seemed a poor pass into the middle of the box for Hatton to quietly and quickly ghost in before the defender who thinking he was about to clear the ball, couldn’t then react faster. Sweet.

And that was enough. By ten minutes into the second half you knew the only way Ramsgutter were going to score was via a wind-assisted freak of a goal, and even that didn’t seem like coming.

So at the final whistle, off trotted a happy crowd: not totally overawed by the play but quietly satisfied; with enough issues still worthy of debate at home or in the bar; the first inklings of the front runners of the league filtering through; and questions like, how do you get to Wealdstone on a Tuesday night?

Optimism is still alive and well ….

Plus points: Winning, And relatively easily. Scoring. Not conceding. Improving our points total at this stage last year by 2. The team - in fact, a bit of a diversion here - as it’s first report of the season - giving you a ‘NoW’ stylee resume of each players performance:

Little: could have almost stayed in bed as he only had to make I think two saves all game and neither ever looked like beating him.

Garrard: Assured in the right back position loved getting forward when he could. A solid performance.

Haswell: This guy gets more like Dave Sargent each game, so dependable. Blistering shot second half saw the ball go through the keeper’s hands and bounce up safely into his hands off his head!

Quinn: The holding man in midfield, if it hadn’t been for the strapping on his knee I don’t think I’d have noticed him. I think that is the best compliment I can give him.

Goodliffe: Yes, Matt Everard II in the making. Took a little while to get to grips with their big No 10 but ultimately frustrated him. Not as vocal as I thought he would be but hey, didn’t need to be.

Leberel: Mmmm. Looks very assured on the ball but also looked ‘bored’ at the back. When Quinn went off, he went into midfield and looked a bit more interested.

Ferguson: Tried hard but didn’t quite have the space to operate in that Finn was afforded. However, his speed is awesome. On one occasion their No 3 thought he had plenty of time given how far Fergie was away – Fergie just took the ball and left him for dead.

Hatton: Two goals, another two chances for the hat trick, in and out of their box and ours, he caught the eye as a worthy man of the match winner. Just hope he has some legs left for Tuesday.

Webb: Tried hard and had a good chance second half which goalie saved point blank (thinking about the goalie’s portly frame, no way Webbie could have got it passed him) Will get better I am sure as season progresses.

Jolly: poor sod. Can’t buy a goal for love of money. Ran his little cotton socks off and set up the two goals. At least that was a valuable contribution. Here is where we can and will go up a gear.

Finn: the winger, raw and exciting, he had a really good afternoon running at Ramsgate. The only problem was the final ball, or seeing the pass. The excitement of the occasion probably got to him.

Howard: On for Quinn, took a little while to settle and then nearly relieved a load of fans that sponsor his goals of their first contribution, a sizzling volley just over the bar

Beckford: Replaced Fergie and looked just as potent but didn’t have too much time to do too much.

Butler R: Came on to welcoming roars of approval – did he touch the ball though?

Minus points: Ummmm. Criticism already heard in the crowd – Jesus, it’s the first game for fuck sake!

The refs a….: did ok for about 35 mins and then went all pedantic over a free kick to Ramsgutter. Oh god here we go. But after a wobble up to half time settled down again. Got the sending off spot on but should have sent at least another one (possible two) Ramsgutter players off for bad tackles just as bad as the sending off. Bottled it a bit. Oh, and include your linesmen in the game - please.

Them: Well, for about 55 minutes they were their usual physical, frustrating self. Their no 10 (Ball) was their main, only threat and a bit mouthy with it. But it all changed when their No5 decided to imitate Daniel Webb’s dad with the sort of tackle through the back of Jolly that he would have been proud off. Didn’t think the ref would do it but he did – straight red. After that they became a bit more niggly, bit more undisciplined and as I said could have lost a couple more players. Had a number of big buggers that made our side look small (and I think our average size has gone up now to nearly 6ft)

Truth is stranger than fiction: 1) Won our opening game of the season for the sixth time? (according to Mikey T on RadJack). How many times did we not achieve this feat as Wimbledon? 2) The ref blowing up for an off side and half the main stand going off to the bars thinking it was half-time. 3) Us doing a group hug before the game – thought only the opposition did that to psyche themselves up. Works for me though.

Anything else: Revamped programme I see. Sponsoring the manager’s words? Wow, that is getting money in for anything at this club. Oh, and quite like the built-in rubbish bins in front of the main stand, even if it’s difficult to get the lids up. Crowd of 2,829 – about what I expected given the potentially crap weather and holidays etc. Sunny day and we’d have cracked 3K. Good start though.

So was it worth it: Beats the shopping/DIY/dog sitting doesn’t it?

In a nutshell: Work in progress.

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11 August 2007

Well, there wasn't any mass brawls. There were no obvious signs of bloodshed and as far as I know no trophy cabinets were damaged, no hoardings defaced and no "accidental" fouling of toilets today. If anything, Tenants 0 Landlords 2 was quite sedate.

A lot has been said about the relationship between us and Ks, not all of it positive. I myself hadn't been to any Ks fixture for a good two seasons, and if truth be told I didn't really know what to expect. In the end, I found myself more concerned with us getting a third goal than getting out alive.

The game first. I think this was all in all reasonably comfortable and I think we do have the ability to go a couple of gears higher. Was it a feast of intensity like FCUM last week? Not really, although Simon Sohiby (remember him?) tried to "settle the score" so to speak. Had it been a league game he would have been off. Mind you, had it been a league game he might not have lasted long enough to get red carded.

Of note was Fergie's two goals, which managed to be both sublime and pretty ridiculous. His first effort was a wonderstrike from outside the box. The second goal was a bit, well, weird. From memory, the ball was crossed in, it bounced off the goalkeeper and hit Fergie on the ear. His delicate touch with his lobe put us 2-0 ahead, although by that stage I think us scoring again was pretty inevitable.

The rest of the game was really about getting fitness up and not getting any injuries. By the looks of it, job done. We do seem to pass/keep the ball pretty well, and again we are finding those gaps to shoot in. Somehow, people will feel a bit more confident going into this first proper game of the season this time rather than last year...

Off the field, it must be said that 702 is not a bad turnout at all. Especially for a fixture that brings out a lot of comments. Whether it was the fact it was a nice day, whether it's the renewed optimism that the TB era has brought or something else entirely I don't know. But today was actually quite enjoyable.

And to be honest, I think a few doubters may have thawed their attitudes today if they were there. I can't comment on the internal politics of Kingstonian, but they do appear a bit more settled as a club now. Their main hate figures are Khosla and Sutton United, and for the most part, it ain't us. Granted, there are a couple of shit-stirrers but perhaps the bulk of the Ks lot have quite simply moved on?

Are things now all hunky dory? Probably not. I still reckon that minimum Ks involvement in maintaining the ground over the summer (both manhours and money) rankles a lot. Likewise the cost of the pitch - do Ks put any money into it? I certainly know at least three people who deliberately turned up late today because they wouldn't give Ks a penny. Still waters certainly run all too deep.

In addition, I still hold reservations about holding this fixture every year, at least for the paying of Ks rent. Maybe hold it once every two years or so, and Ks find another way to pay their dues. Previous attendances in PSFs between us and them have been 4500, 1417, 1101, 871 and 596. Ignore the first one, as that was the initial burst in 2002. Unless you play this fixture first off, when people are glad to be back at football, this will continue to be a reasonably poor attended game. And even then, that assumes peoples' reluctance to back Ks subsides enough.

The truth is, it's in our interests to have Ks becoming healthy and vibrant again, if only because it reduces the need to have this fixture as their payment. I don't believe we'll be fighting for the same potential fanbase, as I don't know too many Ks fans who follow us and they need to get back most of all the people they've lost over the past five years. The stronger they become the less they'll feel the need to blame us anyway. And if we did need to do any refurbishing of a roof or something like that, wouldn't it be nice not to have to fund it all ourselves.......

All that to stop me writing about a pre-season friendly. Here goes nothing....

 

Plus points: We won. Clean sheet. Not really majorly troubled. Fergie. Finn. Webb. Looking more of a unit.

Minus points: Bit dull.

The referee's a.......: Today saw the return to officialdom duties of the notorious Mr Fish. Yes, he of THAT Godalming and Guildford game way back in October 2002. Here's what I wrote about him way back when:

Oh gawd, how can I write any of this without breaking libel and slander laws even further than before. OK, compose thyself : the referee, nameless as I seriously doubt he has a legal birth certificate, was described very early on in the game as Napoleon. Reason being that "he looks little and has got a power complex". I will ask said person in future for lottery numbers as rather spookingly (and disgustingly) that's exactly how it turned out. Things were going relatively OK for the first 60 minutes then he lost it big time. To sum up his performance without me getting sued, he played 20 minutes of injury time, he sent off Robbo, TE and Paul Braham (our fitness coach) for breaking up a fight. He booked Simon Bassey as well but then who hasn't? Those there can doubtless fill in your own expletives for him, personally, I think the guy saw the crowd and lost it. Either that or he is having sexual liasons with Koppout, Wankelmann and a decapitated deer from Richmond Park.

And if you think it couldn't get any worse, he's an ex-Prem ref and is (ahem) officiating us next week at Walton. That is, if the little chickenfucker can shake off the police escort he reportedly received after the game.

Five years later and he finally returned. Perhaps after his "performance" back then he went into a major decline, suffering a huge mental breakdown after his subconscious cognitive processing procedures made him realise he was a complete and utter spunkbrain? Anyway, his rehabilitation has taken this long, and today he was eventually deemed fit enough to handle one of our games again. Not to referee obviously, and there's no way he could risk another 2000 people wanting to kill him again. So they chose this game, which after all was guaranteed to be a quarter full. How did he do? Actually, he didn't do much wrong. Come to think of it, he didn't do much at all. Mind you, he did flag for a foul for us and the referee gave it the other way. Maybe the ref had his own doubts?

Them: Nothing really more to add that I haven't said already. Mind you, they did start to kick us a bit before the end. Can't say I blame them - it was their cup final and they were losing.....

Point to ponder: As mentioned to me today by another AFCW webmaster. Why do people assume that the last PSF of a close season are the best? For the most part, they suck the big one : nobody wants to get hurt, the whole thing is cagey and people just want to get on with the season. Plus of course, all the while we remain in this level of football we will always be starting later than most other teams....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Actually, how weird is it that everyone else has started their season and we haven't? Hopefully this time next year I won't need to mention it. (2) Speaking of weird, seeing our officials walking around KM with "visiting official" badges. (3) One of our chief stewards walking around with a certain t-shirt that did cause one or two, ahem, embarrasing conversations. Anyway, if it does ruin your carpet get wooden floors instead. It's easier to mop up that way. (4) Ks PA bloke referring to the ground as KM. Not the Cherry Red Records Fans Peoples Revolution Karl Marx Workers Stadium or whatever it's called this week.

Anything else? Yeah, the Frenzies finally opened their incomplete 22000 30000 stadium. And how many of the seats did they fill? All 22k? Not quite. 15k as they predicted beforehand? Surely the 9k they got against West Ham stiffs? Urm, 7k. Yup, 7k. Not exactly the frenzy of football.

See, this was the Big Opening Day. The whole country - nay, world - was supposed to look upon MK as the shining new beacon of football. And what is happening? Well, they lose 2-1 to the North West giants of.....er, Bury. Having sold their top striker just days before, for a fee less than what they wanted and they have to give 40% to Derby.

But it gets better. We all know the stadium isn't finished capacity wise. But neither are the executive boxes. Nor the odds and sods like car parking. And surely that Asda will let them park in their store's car park for nothing? Not quite. Park your car in Asda to spend a couple of hours in the WankieDome and your reward for your loyalty is a £40 fine. Yes, that's right - the company that used Wankie to get their store is rewarding their supporters with fines. Somehow, irony has never tasted so sweet.

And now they're crying their eyes out. It wasn't supposed to be like this. See, today you were supposed to be playing Manchester United at the WankieDome. 30k crowds, surely? Look at the reality. You are in what we used to call the 4th division. Your glorious new stadium is half built, half opened and by the sound of it half operational. Worth fucking up the entire structure of English football, wasn't it?

If you want to know why the anger will never fully go away, it's days like this. Yes, you may still become champions, but you've had everything on a plate. You've had shitloads of marketing thrown at you. You've had free tickets. You've had the authorities bending over backwards, and where are you now in your brand spanking new stadium? 7000 in a stadium of 22000. That's the same stats that a team called Wimbledon FC had. Funny how suddenly it's now acceptable isn't it? We had our club stolen because Wankie claimed WFC couldn't substain it.

I want to see Franchise dead. But if that won't happen, I'll settle for the next best thing. As Franchise cannot possibly survive on crowds of 5-7k in a stadium of 22k, it's time they were relocated to somewhere like Weston-Super-Mare which is starved of football. We at AFCW are well aware of this, which is why we will NEVER move on fully. We have AFCW, but deep down we will still slit your throat given half the chance. Assuming you haven't done it yourself already.

So take it you sluts. Today, you thought the whole world would be lining up to give you the nob polishing of a lifetime. Well instead you've spent the last couple of years being buttfucked by Wankie in a smelly pokey bedsit. And now you've entered the big house, you find you've got no money, no respect from anyone. And worse of all, a man in a suit is removing your trousers, bending you over the couch and saying to you, "you do realise that fist can also be a verb".........

So, was it worth it? Guess so.

In a nutshell: Roll on next Saturday

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