SW19's ARMY - politically unsound since 1999

NEWS

24 November 2007

Job done I suppose. I can't help thinking that Kingstonian's Landlords 2 Wealdstone's Landlords 1 was more difficult than what it should have been, which if I was to ever get round to doing the archive (and I would still like some proofreaders please for it. Usual address) would have described plenty of games earlier this season.

I'll be smug here, I never thought we would actually lose even when we were 1-0 down at half time. In fact, I never really thought that we'd even be heading up the Metropolitan Line for a replay. Yes, I know that makes me William Enlarged Prostrate , but if anything I think that just shows how much we've come on even from the start of the season. Would we have lost this in August/September? Possibly, though more likely a replay would have been in the offing.

OK, I think conceding after about 20 seconds woke us up far earlier than we would usually. But when Hatton scored from about 3mm out (and even that nearly went over the crossbar) we really did seal the tie there and then. Jake Leberl's (NOT Jason Goodliffe's) header just confirmed the inevitable I suppose.

Oh, and Marcus Gayle came on, but I'll deal with him later.

What did strike me today is that we're starting to grind out results when playing a bit rubbish. We did so against Hornchurch (second half anyway), although we shouldn't have lost against Tonbridge. We came good last week at Hastings and in truth we did similar today, albeit a lot earlier. Next week though we really need to stop arsing about - it's Chelmsford and they will be out to prove a point against us. We've been riding our luck a little bit recently, and if we're going to fuck up this week, let's hope it's in the Slurrey Senior Tinpot on Tuesday.

That said, I think we're capable of winning next week (though 4-0 again would be a bit too optimistic). I think we're probably about equal with each other, though their lead is purely down to their far more settled start. Perhaps we ought to get Sky TV to cover the game live? Wouldn't be much worse than some of the shit you get higher up these days.

Anyway, back to today. It's quite a nice feeling knowing we're in the first round proper of a major FA competition. Sadly, it's not the FAC but our time will one day come in that. It's quite strange that our approach isn't "ooh, we could play a Conference side", it's "we got shafted out of this competition last season and we want revenge". Nobody really fears playing Conference sides. We should, but we don't - I guess it's because we've (a) got a manager who knows a LOT about the Conference, and (b) our exploits last season proved we can play against them.

OK, so maybe Aldershot and ~~Gravesend and North~~Ebbsfleet weren't trying 100% against us. But who cares? It would be nice to get Rushden and Diamonds at KM because we were denied that fixture last season. But even if we drew Oxford or Torquay away, we really wouldn't be shitting ourselves. In fact, I reckon if we drew another RP club, or Bromley or even the lowest team still drawable we'd be more un-nerved.

Until Monday arrives, this will keep you going....

Plus points: We won. Quite comfortable in the end. Marcus Gayle returning. DeBolla.

Minus points: First 30 seconds.

The referee's a.......: Again, FAT and a better referee. Perhaps not on the par as the Chelmsford ref but still better than the HMRC junior staffers we get in the Ryman.

Them: Fair play to them, they did try and take it to us, though I think they either ran out of steam or we got better. Probably both. Shame their #7 did the chest thumping thing towards the TE after they had a goal disallowed. Quick pointer - you're supposed to do that if the goal is legitimate. Never mind. Their supporters coach turned up late and had what looked like a school party on it. With the adult asking if kids are allowed in the bar. Christ, start them early or what? Oh, and for some reason they blasted the ball out from kickoff rugby yooniun style.....

Gayle Force Nine: Yes, the (re)return of the Prodigal Son. The only ex-WFC player who I can remember being in a tabloid newspaper involved in some odd church in West London came to His people and declared "Lo, blessed be thy flock for He has returned. Smite not the Messenger for whilst I may be on the bench of his Brownlord, I will come and lead you in His word and His prayer". Probably.

Anyway, I do remember his cameo against Harrow (when I honestly thought I'd forgotten it) when he looked a pale shadow of his former self. Talented, yes, but an old thoroughbred horse about to be put out for a French supermarket. Today? OK, he ain't as fit as he was, but by fuck you can tell the difference. I'm not joking when I say that before he came on, Mark DeB looked the best player on the pitch. When he did, Mark DeB really did look a Conf level player in comparison.

Needless to say MG was very closely marked, but I did enjoy it when he came on, managed to elude two defenders before getting upended, getting the foul, getting up and raising two fingers (fingernails at the back, before anyone gets arsey). The other thing that I did notice what how much the dynamic of football supporting changes when a legitimate hero comes on. Before, we wanted a goal from anyone. When MG arrived on the scene, you almost begrudged anyone else scoring.

Will this be another cameo before he gets injured for two more months? Hope not, I think he himself deserves one last run before he retires. If we're starting to finally do what the pre-season promised, maybe Cometh The Hour, Cometh The Man? He's certainly an asset when fit. One other thing - after last weeks heroics, I certainly felt sorry for Webb today.....

Point to ponder: Am I the only one still a bit unsure that Knowles has sufficiently fitted in? OK, it's only his second game for us, but I did think he was still a bit of a stranger at the back for us. Not to mention his occasional Carson-esque clearances when passed back to him....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) AL and Jon Main getting their Ryman monthly awards and the Isthmian bloke not getting much abuse. Water under the bridge, perhaps? Time healing? Maybe, although I still reckon Turdey will never be welcome at KM. Still waters really run deep, even now. (2) Fuck it was cold. And I mean, cold. On the plus side, my ability to write notes wearing gloves has improved somewhat since last season. (3) Going on from that, for the first time since 1999, I felt a bit like I was at Selhust for a while in the first half. It was cold, miserable, we were 1-0 down, the atmosphere was dead and you just wondered how we'd ever manage to do anything again. No wonder I was fucking pessimistic.............

Anything else? Yeah - Erik Samuelson's programme notes should be read by everyone claiming to be an AFCW fan. Sadly, I don't think those who need to be told this will read them, although if we're going to start naming names then perhaps it's just what's needed. I know if I was told what has been alleged I would have gone a lot further than ES did.

For those who don't know, remember what I said about the car parking going to shit a couple of weeks ago? Well, it got explained what happened in there, and just imagine if there was an emergency in that field? Doesn't bear thinking about does it? The stewards were back there today, and things were a lot more organised. Let's hope it remains that way from now on.

The reason I mention this is simple. It's a guess of mine and I'm probably shit-stirring without due cause, but we could soon be facing up to a situation where the stewards decide one day to withdraw their services for the game - the result being instant cancellation of match. Just imagine what the Ryman would do to us if that was to happen. Failure to play a game? Three points off, no doubt, and this time we wouldn't have Jim Sturman getting them back. All this is possible because some cock munchers put themselves first, last and everywhere else in between.

To be honest, I get a bit fed up with people acting the cunt and then claiming "this is a fans club, I can do what I want". Can apply to a variety of instances, but this time the people who do make life difficult not only for stewards but for those of us who actually use the car park and don't appreciate a free-for-all. Too many people hide behind the "fans club" thing to hide obnoxious behaviour, and they're too full of their own bullshit and vastly inflated self-worth to ever listen. So maybe public humiliation will lance this nasty little boil that's developing?

I'm led to believe that stewards generally are legally culpable (?) if things go wrong, so if they decided to pull out one day I'm not sure if I'd blame them. While our "fun" with Palace's fluorescent brigade may still rankle even now, our ones at AFCW aren't that bad. Better than many certainly.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll hear some whinging from those people that their club is stabbing them in the back etc etc. Let's hope they fuck off and follow Chelski instead, it's about their level of support. And I don't mean Premiership level...

So, was it worth it? Yeah, more or less.

In a nutshell: WUP Undefeated t-shirts. Still on sale and still relevant.

18 November 2007

Firstly, thanks to everyone who kept saying to me what a load of bollocks my last report was. I know I can always rely on you guys to give your feedback honestly.

Secondly, I refuse to make any 1066 references, so you'll have to make do with Rye 1 Wheat 3. This was effectively the proverbial cold November's day away from home, where title ambitions can meet a cold and rather painful end. Come to think of it, it was literally quite nippy as well. It's these sort of games that really do make or break a season.

It was about 25 minutes in yesterday, when we were 1-0 down, playing as well as we did against BW/Leyton (oh, those flashbacks) when I honestly thought we'd blown it. Not for the game, but the season. Think about it - we went from a confident side to a gibbering wreck in the second half against Coldseal. On Tuesday, we not only shot ourselves in the foot but broke our arm, dislocated our neck and severed our gonads for good measure. And yesterday, when Hastings were first to everything and looking more likely to add a second, I could sense our season collapsing before our very eyes.

When we pressed forward though, and when Main got us that penalty (and DeB scored it), something more than the game got salvaged. Our confidence levels were declining quite a bit, and had we'd lost yesterday I'd shudder to think the reaction. Is it possible to see a team literally lift like that? If you can, we sure as dammit came close to it.

At the risk of sounding like a non-league manager, these sort of games really are all about character. It takes a team with that character to overcome a set of three games with relatively little self-assurance, and to play pretty shit in the first half hour to win quite comfortably in the end. Especially away from home on a cold Saturday in November, great leveller, team spirit etc etc.

OK, I'm taking the piss a little, but last year this would have been a draw. See, last season I don't think the team quite had the bottle (if that's the right word) to have taken the game and turn it to our advantage. I reckon it was this flaw that cost us the playoffs twice in a row. This season? Well, we started off poorly, and that's why Chelmsford are well ahead of us right now. But it's a shame that we can't replay those early season games again because this time I think we'd win them. In fact, I think we would have won the Tonbridge game had it been played yesterday IYSWIM. I have my theory on why that is, but you'll have to read on to find it out ;)

I'd like to talk about our striker now, a main man who has invited many column inches and a highly charged barometer of our success. Yes, needless to say, I'm talking about........................................................ Danny Webb.

Really.

Whilst all the attention has been on Jon Main (who I have to say is somebody who should be playing League football within the next couple of years, if not before), it's ironic that his signing could be the catalyst for Webb. I've got to say I was in shock when he scored twice (and OK he did get a bit lucky with his second, not that he didn't deserve it). But his first was a typical striker's goal and taken as well as anyone on that pitch.

Is Webb winning people round? Yes - slowly. While the guy does have a Gary Blissett-like tendency to mistime his jumps (although if any of our players could jump, run, cross and score to perfection they'd be in League football), and referees clearly hate him, he is starting to overcome a very painful loss of scoring confidence. He's notably improved since DeB and now Main are here - QED? I've noticed more and more people are saying that Webb isn't the Leaburnesque donkey, that he does make a damn good contribution and now he's even scoring goals. Maybe TB knew something we don't?

Of course, some will never give him any credit for anything. Remember Bulldog, the NF publication beloved at Stamford Bridge* in the 1970s? That had a league table where they removed goals from black players. Sometimes I think that Webb is suffering a bit of that level of treatment - apparently some people yesterday reckoned that Webb's goals were "soft".

* - was it ever sold at Plough Lane? We've always seemed to be virtually immune from political extremism, although of course in them days it was far more "acceptable" to belong to something like the NF or ANL or whatever. I doubt if we didn't have at least one fan who was (and still is) into that sort of stuff. Something worth remembering for those who think the fire has gone out of public life and everything is too centrist these days

Now, I'm fully aware that Webb ain't RDS, and I've got to admit that for me, the jury is still out on him. But for fucks sake, give the guy some credit when it's due. It does seem some are determined no matter what to give him no credence whatsoever - a bit like twisting events to suit a particular viewpoint, if that makes sense. In other words, if Webb scored a hat-trick yesterday with a penalty, a shot from 30 yards and an unstoppable piledriver at the end of a 15 pass move, certain individuals will say the first goal wasn't a real goal, the second effort was a fluke and the third one would have been taken far better from Main/RDS/RB....

Is Webb our best striker? No. Is his place most under threat if/when somebody "better" comes along? Yes. Does he try hard? Yes. Did TB sign him because according to the Yeovil manager he was one of the two best finishers at the club? Yes. Did his goals win us the game yesterday? Yes. I can't help feeling that some people would be more willing to accept the draw rather than admit that Webb scored twice yesterday. They might like to proclaim themselves excellent judges of character, that somehow we should have broken the bank to keep RDS or even RB, and that they know much more about who we should/shouldn't play, even more than our managerial staff. Personally, I'd rather call them cunts.

For those of us who aren't in that above category, enjoy....

Plus points: Win. Three points. Away. On a cold November afternoon etc etc. Jon Main. Webb's goals. Way we came back. Some of Finn's crossing. Managing to put Tuesday behind us.

Minus points: First half hour. Defence at times. Rob Quinn going off (anyone know why?)

The referee's a...........: Bit of a cock wasn't he? OK, he gave us the penalty in the first half but decided that was our lot.

Them: Well, they certainly threw the kitchen sink at us as their manager was hinting at before the game. For about a good half-hour it did work though, and does still highlight deficiencies in our back line. Their ground is an interesting one, it looks like it used to hold speedway or greyhounds or something like that in ye olden days. Bet it was quite big back in the day. As for their cheerleading ensemble, well, urm, yeah. I know what made me uncomfortable watching it - too many Queen songs as the musical accompaniment. That's what it was, how could it be anything else?

Point to ponder: Is it any co-incidence that we looked far better playing once the defence looked confident with our goalie? We've over-analysed Tonbridge to death, and for a while yesterday our defence looked a bit Pirelli-marks-in-the-toilet. But as the game went on, and our defence got more used to Danny "Tony" Knowles (and can I do my filthy joke about Knowles lining up a long pink? No? Aw..), it looked almost like AL was back in charge. And they always reckon that with a decent goalie, you're half way there already...

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Danny Webb scoring twice in one game. Has to be repeated again. (2) Hastings is the home of television, apparently. Basically, John Logie Baird resided there and I presume that's where he produced his first televisual signal. There is no truth to the rumour that the first image ever broadcast was a repeat of Only Fools and Horses. (3) Hastings fans doing a conga at the end of the game. Bless them. Moved a bit better than their forward line though.

Anything else? Yeah. Was it me or was Hastings a lot nicer to visit this time round? Last time I remember a high proportion of local chavs dragging themselves out from their gutter and showing distinctly how they can gob off but typically just can't take it when they get it back at them. This time, the atmosphere was a lot nicer, and a bigger crowd as well. Wonder why they didn't turn up this time? Perhaps they discovered their local newsagent was doing a new line in National Lottery scratchcards, so spent their giro on that. Or maybe they were too busy discovering who their real fathers were. Regardless, their presence was certainly not missed.

Incidentally, you could take beer onto the terrace yesterday and there was no trouble. Ditto at Folkestone and bar one prick this year ETU. Why does all hell break loose when the same happens at Hayes Lane?

So, was it worth it? Yup

In a nutshell: Danny Webb, woah. He cost us 50 bob. He's got a proper job. Jon Main, woah. He cost us 20 grand, he's sitting in the stand....

14 November 2007 [SPECIAL MIDNIGHT EDITION]

Bollocks. Bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks. Bollocks.

Bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks.

Bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks.

Bollocks. Oh, and cock.

I'm not too sure how else I'm going to approach Angels 2 Jezebels 2, but here goes. If I had a dog, I'd kick it. Tonight proved what happens when you don't have a goalkeeper you're confident in. I don't blame either shotstopper for having to come in at short notice, but it's fair to say if AL was fit tonight, we'd be talking about three points and third in the league.

Corrin Brooks-Meade had enough potential there, and TBH I blame our defender more for their first goal than he did. I'm glad Dons Online is no more, that defensive fuckup would cause me to drink heavily. But the other guy, whose name I didn't catch, I felt sorry for him in the end. He was only 19 or something, and it got to the stage I was hoping Luke Garrard would swap with him. It would have been kinder. The poor guy flapped at the first easy catch, couldn't kick to save his life and Tonbridge knew it. I'm told of the legend that was Don Shanks - I would like to know if this was the modern day equivalent.

Truth is, we threw this away big time. Yes, it was a fantastic OG, which the PA announcer gave to Webb out of sheer embarrassment/sympathy. Shame our lot chanted "Own goal own goal, own goal own goal". Yes, Mark DeB's free kick was lucky. But we were 2 fucking goals up and we gave - no, gifted - them two goals back. In fact, it was really a case of when, not if Tonbridge would win. Christ, they hit the post and can consider themselves unlucky.

I don't know whether the players had no confidence between the sticks, but at times Boreham Wood kept flashing through my mind. At other times, Leyton reared its ugly tortoise head as well. Once or twice, I had flashbacks to Worthing away. Remember that? I wish I didn't. This was the sort of second half performance that I thought we'd finally got out of our system. Even then, DeB and the unsure-whether-I'm-impressed-or-not Reggie Savage could have had it for us. But I'm sorry - this ain't going to even get us in the playoffs, let alone promotion.

Yes, tonight might have been one of those games. I know we can't have it all our own way every single time. I know that like share prices, your enjoyment of the season can go down as well as up. And we will have worse games and gain 3 points. But Chelmsford are probably high-fiving themselves right now and by fuck that pisses me off.

Bad day at the office? Bad something or other anyway. I can cope if we're shit. But we're not. The need for a new striker is beyond doubt now - people are going to blame Webb whatever he does now (even if he nets a hat-trick in the FAT final for us), DeB can't do it on his own, and Marcus Gayle now appears more and more to be a shirt-selling signing (a la David Beckham). Jolly seems further away than ever, in more ways than one. If we'd got a third (regardless of whether it was 2-0, 2-1 or even 2-2) the three points would be ours.

As for our goalkeeping? Oh, I mentioned that already. No matter, it's going to be giving me sleepless nights this week. All I'll say is this : we need two decent keepers right now. And I will say two decent experienced ones at that. That young kid in goal will be destroyed by that. All the while our #1 position takes on the Spinal Tap drummer mantle, we really do need to pull in favours from people like Barnet, Fulham (although will Sanch be happy with CBM injured?), Brentford etc. Maybe we could nab somebody from Ebbsfleet? No doubt some of you signed up for that My Football Club nerdfest, so do us a favour.......

Right now, I'm not really looking forward to Hastings. We've ridden our luck in two successive games now, and we've come away with 4 points instead of a not-particularly-unachieveable 6. We now need help at both ends of the field, and teams don't go up with those two areas unfulfilled. I'm not saying we're slipping back fast into the early season toss, but tonight we lost something more than two points.

Other things to note: Why does the TA bar sell Guinness in those surger cans? Why did they have the Franchise game on? Nice enough ground though. Decent enough crowd considering, too.

And one final thing - bollocks.

10 November 2007

When you support AFCW, there's no such thing as an easy period. The very setup of this incarnation was fraught with difficulties. In the past two seasons we've had a good game against a top team punctuated with a 1-1 draw against the bottom side. And even the start of this season saw us firing more blanks than a porno with an impotence sufferer.

So when it was half time at Everest 1 Coldseal 0, it was quite easy wasn't it? Playing well, creating chances, looking solid at the back and already writing up my report in embarrasingly gushing tones. Finn's strike certainly was a goodun, even if it did come off the post. But when I saw a "1" with a "15", and when I found out that Andy Little was off, I felt a bit unwell. And when I found out that Luke Garrard was taking his place....

You see, you replace goalies with outfield players with 10 minutes to go. Not 45. My heart sank because I just knew that things were going well. A bit too well. It was as though we were making life too easy for ourselves so we decided to stop the car, get out and run ourselves over with it.

When they got a corner, this was worse than holding onto a 1-0 lead with 2 minutes to go in a massive game. When Luke held it, I managed to feel even worse than I should have done. Why were we doing this to ourselves? And as a result, we lost our way. Granted, we regained it a bit towards the end, and should have added at least a second, but by fuck this team tests us beyond the limit.

Actually, on cool reflection I shouldn't have worried. Coldseal were nothing special at all, we could (and should) have finished it off a couple of times - plus ca change - and Savage could be good. But this really shows how fucking dangerous it is not to have a backup goalie. OK, we got away with it, but in terms of danger this falls between sticking your nob in a bacon slicer and shagging a Franchise fan without a condom. Today we were fortunate, but next time......?

I don't doubt at all that TB doesn't have at least two players in mind. If anything, it makes his job easier because getting somebody relatively decent on loan is easier than signing them up full time. While I'm wary of getting League players on loan, if we could get a Jake Cole back just for a month or two that will help out immensely. Get a decent guy between the sticks, whom your defence can trust, and you're half way there already.

So what has happened to AL? At time of writing, it appears he's broken two fingers and might be out for up to six weeks. So we'll need to get somebody in ASAP - two goalies if truth be told. While we could get away with Luke as a stand-in during the game, if he's the goalie for us on Tuesday I'm leaving the ground and going straight back home. My ticker won't take it.

To be fair though, Luke played all right for an outfield player, and I believe he used to be a goalie in the dim and distant past. But when he came on, I had visions of that Palace 3-2 game at Shitehurst many years ago. The scramble at the end when that cunt John Salako got it away still rankles to this day. And I always thought that I wanted to punch him whenever he's on SSN because he's a smug little kissarse...

All this does take away from the fact that we gained a not-too-difficult-but-should-have-been-a-lot-easier three points. First half at times was more a case of how many, rather than if. Certainly we retained the confidence from last week. Trouble is, it drained away a bit in the second half, for obvious reasons, and that's a shame. In a way it might have given us a little bite on the arse and telling us not to get too cocky. We have been playing well, and so far we haven't been believing our own publicity. Tuesday will tell us if we've kept that level-headed attitude going.

But whatever happens to our trip to Posh Pikeyville, I do not want to see an outfield player in goal................

Plus points: We won. Clean sheet. Three points. Pretty good defence in second half. Looking sharp up front in the first half. Becoming more of a team with every passing game.

Minus points: The editor's blood pressure in the second half - and that was before we'd even started. AL's injury. Going off the boil a bit.

The referee's a.....: And if the ref last week was top draw, this bloke fell out of a canine's arse. Missed loads of their defender manhandling Webb, loved to give free kicks for even farting violently, that type of thing. Linesman seem to flag for offsides about 1 minute after they happened.

Them: Shit, basically. Offered absolutely nothing in the first half, and couldn't even test Luke that much in the second. Maybe it was because we nullified them, but if they really are a moneybags outfit their benefactor should ask for a refund. Their fans? Usual carbon copy Essex gobshites (actually, they're not really Essex are they? More like East London overspill, a sort of Thornton Heath of the East). A third rate Grays Athletic at any rate, and predictably about as original as a photocopy as their chants showed. Hint - that sort of stuff was only remotely effective four years ago......

Point to ponder: Today was FAC first round day, and Staines and (thankfully) Horsham did themselves well. I say "thankfully" because if you're going to lose on penalties at least give the opposition a decent run, if only to make me feel better. Anyway - was playing in the league today far more important than even an FAC run? The three (?) RP sides in action in the FAC will get their moment of glory today but probably won't be challenging for promotion come the end of the season. Granted, Rickay might, but a Yeading type side rarely comes about. Today, we put ourselves one win away from third after our iffy start. We're playing catchup with Chelmsford but we still have five months to go. Yes, us on telly against Leeds this weekend would do wonders for DVD sales, but somehow our three points today has far more importance............

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Anyone get a little Womble toy? Decent bit of marketing there methinks, and certainly sold well, though I've no idea how much work went into getting the licence off Lizzy B. (2) Was it me or was there a bit of a fuckup with regards the field car park? Normally they have it quite spot-on, but today it was a free-for-all with the lack of spaces (or indeed organisation). And yes, I know I should get there a bit earlier than 2.30pm.....

Anything else? Yeah, saw Karl Williams, who doubles up as ~~internet keyboard warrior~~ arch online Womble nemesis Uncle Urchin. OK, we all know about him, that he's pushed the envelope with some of our fans on more than the odd occasion (to the point in one instance that legal action was almost forthcoming), and I certainly wouldn't buy any windows off him. But ultimately, the guy is irrelevant. What he says about us isn't exactly unrepeated in some boardrooms I've found myself in, his attitude isn't unique and when we eventually move upwards he'll become like Walton and Hersham. Who? Exactly. IMO the guy is a pantomime villan, certainly cartoonish - let's face it, with that bubble perm how can he not be? I thought he looked more like a potential heart attack victim meself, the way he looked haggard and the way he smoked yet another cigarette. Maybe he was nervous about the game, I dunno. Yes, have some fun at his expense, but at the end of the day, he ain't really worth too much effort...

So, was it worth it? Yes. Eventually....

In a nutshell: Wanted : one semi-decent goalkeeper. Send CV to T Brown, c/o AFC Wimbledon, K-U-T. Immediate vacancy, gloves optional.

3 November 2007

Well, I'll be honest here. Before 3pm today, I would have happily bet on a hard-fought draw with us taken them back to their place on Monday. Not unreasonable to assume, one may think. So you can imagine my reaction after ex-WFC 4 ex-Canvey 0 can't you? I've been on a mixture of imodium and acetaminophen this week and I swear I'm hallucinating today.

Did we really make the league leaders look ordinary? Did Danny Webb really score? Did Mark DeB unleash a thirty yarder? Did Jake Leberl and Finn follow suit? Did we pass it well? Did our defence look more cohesive? In fact, did we look like a team that might, just might, have justified the pre-season hype and TB's reputation?

OK, I shouldn't get carried away. But I've been waiting a long time for this type of game, and probably most other people have. We know we can play this well now - this was the type of performance that we expected when TB first signed up. The only regret I have from today - apart from us not scoring five - was that it wasn't a league game. Had we won 4-0 with the three points, that really would have been a massive "reminder" to the rest of the league. As it stands, we're "only" in the draw on Monday. But right now, it means a lot more.

There's no point denying that we sent a message out today. Yeah, I know Chelmsford will say that it was "only" the FA Trophy, and that they're concentrating on the league fixtures. Fine. But the FAT is the big non-league trophy. It ends at Wembley Stadium with Sky Sports covering it live. If that's not an incentive to do well I don't know what is. If you play well, or put the effort in, and you lose then fair enough. It sucks but it happens. But especially at this level, I just cannot understand why teams don't want to go into the next round. Fixture pileup? Hell, if it meant that we won the league and got Jeff Stelling to read out my name in May, I'm sure I could cope with a couple of fixtures a week.

Today, what we said to the rest of the Ryman was this. We are capable of playing well and destroying the best. We proved that. We know it won't be as easy in the league fixtures - at least, it shouldn't be. But like playing a good round of golf, we've now proven to ourselves that it's in us to play well. Today won't have won the FAT, nor gained us any league points, but it did something almost as important - gave us confidence.

Had we shown today's confidence in earlier games, we'd probably be talking about when we'd win the league by. Christmas, surely? Tell you what, make it February to be on the safe side. We didn't and we're playing catchup. But we are clicking now. And are we starting to get it together at the right time? We started off poorly this season and still kept in touch until things got better. Most of us agree that we've still got a way to go, anyway. But just imagine starting out of the blocks scoring 20 goals in the first four games of the season then stumble and fizzle out of the FAC/FAT by November and lose 3-0 away to Harlow the next game..

Yes, this is all sounding a bit triumphalist and no doubt we'll play shit against AFC Coldseal and lose. But hey - we thrashed the league leaders at home, and if you can't be happy at that then you shouldn't be watching football...

Plus points: We won. At home. Against the league leaders. Clean sheet. Absolutely stunning strikes. Coping with the pressure to the point CCFC's heads went down. Karl Beckford.

Minus points: It wasn't a league game.

The referee's a.........: I like him. Can we have him again please?

Them: If they're top of the league then we must be doing seriously wrong. OK, enough cock waving. They're up in first for a good reason, they're a good footballing side, and it wasn't all plain sailing from us. But seriously, it just proves our biggest opponents are ourselves. Did they look like scoring? And if they were, could we have come back at them? Funny isn't it, our last two games against probably the best side in the division has seen us score seven without reply. Make of that what you will, although it doesn't bode well for their "we'll do better in the league" approach now being taken. Oh yeah, their #9 is a dirty little cunt and deserves to be buggered in the cell by Mr Big for that ~~assault~~ tackle.

Song sung blue: "We are top of the league, say we are top of the league". Next time, discretion is in order, perhaps? Mind you, we were quite quiet ourselves...

Point to ponder: Sorry to mention our opponents again, but of all the teams we've ever faced in the AFCW era they're the ones who intrigue me the most. Anyway - were Chelmsford the club we would have become had we not got into the Football League? I don't know how older Wombles will react to me saying this, but I suspect we were quite similar clubs - well supported, decent sides who could play at higher levels. Still are come to think of it. Actually, they fell right down and lost their home ground as well. Maybe that's why I wouldn't object if we got into the Conf South next season and saw their name on next season's fixture list. That and the fact we seem to do well against them....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) More PA goodness - the Members' "Sound of the Suburbs". Seems like Mikey T is doing the PA more permanently these days, so perhaps I can ask him to play some Hungarian punk.... (2) Saw an AFCW fan getting treated by an ambulance on Kingston Road, Raynes Park, before the game. Didn't look in too much comfort, certainly - anyone have any idea? (3) A3 buggered. Might explain the next entry.

Anything else? Yeah, the turnout today. Whether it was because of the A3 problem or not, but I really did expect more than 1683. Insert post-mortems here, although this should have grabbed the imagination a bit more than it should have. Are we expecting Sutton at KM next round so that it'll advertise itself?

One other thing - that fucking "Easy" chant wank that some people did after the 4th goal. Don't fucking do it, OK. Do you want to know why? Because every time you do it, it makes Tim Lovejoy's ego bigger. If you want somebody to show what's wrong with modern day football, it's him. The guy supports Chelski but allegedly supported Watford before then - obviously a career move. He is without doubt the most shit, smug, self-satisfied piece of white rancid dog turd ever to do presenting. Everyone at Sky Sports hates him because of this, and the fact the guy is so up his own arse he can smell his own farts before he even brews them - though he probably thinks they smell of perfume. He makes Jamie Redknapp look like Des Lynam.

His success shows that all modern day football supporting is about is swapping sides when it becomes trendy, that ego and inflated self-worth is preferable to knowledge and gravitas, and that passionate football supporting is replaced by cliched robotic hand gestures, plastic empty gestures for plastic empty fans. Doing an "Easy" chant is proof that you willingly accept all that without question. Don't fucking do it, don't give the cunt even more of an ego trip. Trust me, if I had my way I'd drag anyone who did it out one by one, and hold you down with a nailgun against your head....

So, was it worth it? Might be.

In a nutshell: Same in a month's time, please.