NEWS
21 October 2007
Thank christ the rugby world cup is over. I'm not too sure if I could have taken "Wilko and the boys" rammed down my throat any longer. Nor a game where kicking the ball out for a throw-in every 15 seconds is celebrated as much as a 30 yarder screamer. And don't get me started on the RFU's attempts to ape the GAA...
Actually, I'm trying to decide who's more irritating : England football fans who drink loads and spew everywhere, act like cunts and whinge about being "betrayed" when they get caught on camera singing 10 German Bombers. Or England rugby fans, who drink loads and spew everywhere, who go round squealing how much mummy and daddy paid for their ticket, and who justify gouging, maiming and other acts of GBH as "part of the game".
The women are the worst for that kind of thing. Mind you, to follow up my theory about females who watch rugby union, look at the bird in the first photo and tell me she didn't get rugby tackled from both ends last night. And no, I don't think it's a euphemism. Much....
Speaking of being taken on the flanks, Real Dons 2 Pretend Dons 1. I know this won't make me a proper Wimbledon fan right now, but I actually quite enjoyed this game. Yes, I know that Hendon had a crocked goalkeeper. Yes, I know that Daniel Webb's "kick the ball" instructional DVD was presented by Jonny Wilkinson. Yes, I know we went behind. Yes, I know we should have scored a few more, etc etc.
But compared to the absolute shitefest on Tuesday this was well worth £9. I know that.... sorry. So we need another striker or two? Hold the fucking front page, Hitler has invaded Poland. Unlike some games I could mention this season, at least we created the chances yesterday. And it's not like TB himself doesn't know where the main problem lies.
Please don't tell me this was somehow as bad as Boreham Wood, or Harrow Borough, or Leyton, or Tuesday. It wasn't. Trouble is, I can hear the complaints now. "But Hendon were a weak side". So were other teams who we failed to beat. "But we were playing some players out of position". And? That might cause a problem against teams higher up, but I don't think we're near the finished article as of yet. "But Chelmsford put five goals past Hendon". Good for them. They've got their strikeforce settled and firing, and we haven't. Again, is that really news? "But, but, but.....". STFU. Listen, we won and we played well enough and we're through to the next round of the FAT. Sometimes, I wonder what people actually want.
Sorry to be a little bit ratty, but I've seen enough matches in my time to differenciate between a shit game and a decent game. There must be no fan out there who thinks we're remotely where we should be, but yesterday we took a step forward, not backwards. Are we already slipping back into the mentality under DA, where some elements were determined to give him no credit whatsoever for anything? I know it always happens at every club, presumably when certain peoples' favourites aren't picked for whatever reason, but we had a good two years of it before and now some just want to carry on where others left off.
Granted, I did go to KM yesterday feeling a bit underwhelmed at going. Judging by the crowd, a lot of people decided to stay at home and stock up for the rugby. As for the game itself, we started off OK, showed a bit of urgency etc etc, then we went behind. And yes, for about 20 minutes afterwards we were shit.
But here's what pleased me anyway. We regained that confidence enough to force a succession of corners. So much so that we even scored from one. And you know what pleased me even more? The way that we didn't let it slip a la Tuesday. We knew we could get a second, and sure enough we got a penalty. Up steps the rather impressive Mark DeBolla and from then on in I really didn't think we'd lose. Seriously.
The only real disappointing thing from yesterday - apart from some post-match reactions - is that we didn't put it into the net. Everything else seem to click a bit more yesterday. Perhaps when people say we'll start scoring "soon", they might mean in a matter of games and not months. DeB and Webb actually seemed to work quite well together, although even so I think Webb will eventually be second or third choice. If he's still here of course.
Anyway, that's that, and we're in the next round. Sorry to be a little bit irritated this afternoon, but some of the comments I heard/read last night really put me in a foul mood. As the great Harry Bassett once said in his programme notes, enjoy the game. I know some who won't be.
Plus points: A win. Decent second half performance. Mark DeBolla. Neutralising Hendon to the point they had virtually nothing to offer. Comfortable. Overcoming a sticky period in the first half.
Minus points: Them scoring. Us not adding more. Unwarranted negativity from some quarters.
The referee's a........: Cock. Actually, make that a complete cock, complete with veins running down the side.
Them: Considering they're higher than us in the table, they really didn't look all that. Maybe their early run of form is about to desert them? Danny Dyer played for them. Cos he's all pwopa nawty innee? Ee pooped his pants when ee went to Belgrade in Real Football Factories dinnee? Aaht of 'is mannah..
Three's a crowd: 1238, and again a bit disturbingly low for my liking. This time, there's no rugby or international football, or 1pm kickoffs that can be used as a ready-made excuse, so why the distinct lack of interest? I overheard one guy on his phone before kickoff saying that 12 of his mates weren't bothering to come yesterday. That ain't good.
Last week, I mentioned why we don't have posters advertising our games any more. This week, I find out the club are asking for volunteers to distribute leaflets. Problem is, it's for KM Live. Now, it's a worthwhile source of income, but our main business is the football club and not a music venue. Again, I ask why aren't the club asking for volunteers to put up posters to advertise matches? Christ, I've seen posters for the charity game against Arsenal but nothing for AFC Coldseal on the 10th November. Getting more people in regularly for league games is likely to do more for the long term future of AFCW (you know, the football club), surely?
Call me ungrateful, but surely the club should spend a bit more time advertising actual games? 1238 yesterday is quite simply shit. Crowds hovering about 2500 is again an issue that will have long term implications. Getting in 3000 people is our priority - not 150 or so for a music venue.
As for the OS recently, is it a website for AFCW or is it a website for KM Live? When was the last time we got proper team news on a Friday afternoon? Or indeed much from TB full stop? A quick glance at the Aldershot website (or indeed our local press) suggests he's not one to hide from interviews. If anything, with him being a full time manager, we should be hearing from him at least twice a week, if only to tell us how he thinks the reserves or youth teams are progressing.
Why did it take a
little bit of pleading for the Whyteleafe cup game to get up there? Yet who's
playing after the game, or who is up for the Comedy Night isn't hard
to find - and to be honest, it does stick in the throat a bit when you don't
get much AFCW news yet adverts news items for "There's Only One
Wayne Matthews" pop up regularly.
Yes, AFCW should certainly stick with KM Live, but it's only a sideline business. It's not the main core. The main business is stagnant in size of support, and if anything for cup games getting worryingly lower. I don't doubt that people would help out if AFCW asked for help to put up posters locally - we could have done with some ones for yesterday. And just a thought from a listener - if we prioritise getting people through the turnstiles instead, perhaps more of them might stick around afterwards.......?
Point to ponder: Is it me, or did we look worse when Fergie came on? Come to think of it, yesterday we had quite a few starting XI type players on the bench. With TB's blast earlier this week at them, perhaps we shouldn't really be surprised. Can't say we looked any worse without them - will a couple be on their way before long?
Truth is stranger than fiction: ITV World Cup 1986 theme tune blasted out before the second half. Phillo, your job is in danger.
Anything else? Yeah - Rob Ursell returned for a cameo for Hendon. I know plenty has been said since his departure, but ultimately I think like KC going we did the right thing. He certainly didn't prove yesterday he shouldn't have gone. Nice to see him get applauded on and afterwards, with the favour returned. In fact, I couldn't help noticing that the loudest post-game chants were for him........
So, was it worth it? Yes it was.
In a nutshell: At least WUP can still sell their Undefeated t-shirts...
And finally: It's my birthday on Thursday. Also, I'm off to Hungary that day, so no Harlow Town report - the offer is there for anyone going who fancies writing a report. I should however be going to watch Ujpest vs Debrecen instead, if I can work out when they're playing. Any Hungarian speakers about?
17 October 2007 [MIDNIGHT EDITION]
If truth be told, I wasn't planning to do a report on the Horsham FAC game, especially as it's midweek and especially as it's so late. However, after a drive in rather pissing horrible rain on the M23, and a cold can of Lech nicely opened, I feel the need to ramble. Hell, I can't remember the last time I did a midnight update - probably in the WFC era. Somehow, that feels further away than ever right now...
Yes, we're out of the FAC. I'm not anti-penalties at all, but it really does suck losing on them - poor Sam Hatton must be keeping himself away from sharp objects, judging by his reaction. Yes, we were all right in the first half, and flatter than Kylie Minogue's chest pre-op for the rest of it. Yes, Horsham probably deserved to get through, albeit not by much. And let's be honest, they had to beat us sometime.
Right now, the issue isn't how numb I feel. It's how numb I don't feel. I'm fucked off, and I might be a little bit angrier later on, that we failed to put away our best chance of winning on Saturday. If I'm angry right now, it's the people who pissed off the football gods by openly discussing Chippenham away. Well, you still can do it now, but you'll have to learn some Lardie songs while you're at it.
Before the beginning of the season, I was telling anyone who asked that I didn't think we'd do well in the cups this year. We're now out of the FAC, and if truth be told we'll struggle Saturday. Something just ain't right at AFCW right now, it was our bare boned lineup that probably did it.
If we had Danny Webb fit. If we had Richard Jolly out of the doghouse and out of the treatment room. If RB was 100% fit. If we didn't have to play Garrard a bit more forward tonight. If Seb Kneißl was fit (and boy, did he looked really POed that he wasn't playing before the game). If Garrard and Robin Shroot didn't come off at HT. If, if if..... All too many iffs, a great deal of buts and too many maybes for my liking.
When we reverted to the old way of playing in the second half, we just weren't going to get it in normal time. That to me is what's disappointing tonight - we looked like nothing. I'm afraid to say we looked distinctly ordinary. What worries me right now is this. It's not losing tonight, nor even losing this coming Saturday. As said before, we can do without cup runs this year. It's the likelyhood of getting that big kickass victory that makes everyone sit up and think "fuck yeah". Right now, I just can't see us getting it.
If we'd won tonight, and beaten Chippenham, we'd be buzzing. Hell, even us winning tonight on penalties would have us talking about getting Leeds in the first round. That ain't gonna happen for this season at least. We do still have a chance to kickstart our season on Saturday with a good win against Hendon. Again, I can't see it happening right now. Could our season be effectively over come Saturday at 4.50pm? Quite possibly it could, because then there's no scope for that big morale boosting victory. No David v Goliath contest which briefly kicked us into life last time out. How much of a comedown will it be if we realise there won't be another Aldershot, or Gravesend gloryfest this season? Instead, we'll have to raise our game to visit Heybridge, or Folkestone, or Ramsgutter.
That's why I'm concerned right now. I can take a loss on penalties, it happens to the best teams around, plus ourselves. Our priority is, was, and always will be getting out of this fucking poxy division this season. Unfortunately, this team - no, fuck it, this club - needs a massive shot in the arm from somewhere. I don't know how we're going to get it, and more concerning, I don't know when. Depressing, ain't it?
Anyway, if you read the NLT, get hold of the online edition of their weekly publication. I'm doing an FAT preview and I'm going to interview one of our players. Wish me luck. And more to the point, wish them luck as well.....
13 October 2007
This will probably read a bit rushed and a little brief, as all that lovely sport is on telly today....
I didn't do a report for the Folkestone game, but if I had I think it'll read much like what Mark 0 Lard 0 will right now. Somehow I think that a forward line of Wayne Rooney, Didier Drogba and Fernando Torres would struggle to score if they were wearing AFCW shirts. Certainly the Royal Mail management were considering offering their postmen our kit, because let's face it that would have stopped them striking. And I shudder to think the effect this current goal drought is having on Golden Goal sales.
Thing is, I don't know whether it was the Boxing Day-esque kick off time, or the Boxing Day-esque flatness of the atmosphere, but I walked away from it this afternoon a bit underwhelmed. I'm not snarling, ripping people's throats out etc, because if we're being honest we did play well. It was just that final ball, that killer touch that is standing between us and a guaranteed spot in the last qualifying round. It feels like we're determined to become the first ever winners of the Ryman, the FA Trophy and cause the biggest upset in the history of the FA Cup by not actually scoring any goals.
Yes, had RB not snatched at his shot when it was easier to score, or had the Horsham defender's clearance found the other side of the post in the dying seconds, I wouldn't be writing this. Instead I'll be saying how relieved I am, and debating whether I want an easy tie in the next round or a death-or-glory fixture away to Oxford United. But I'm not. Instead, we face another very tricky fixture in Sussex this Tuesday, and let's face it - Horsham have to beat us sometime....
Have we lost our best chance of winning this tie? We'll find out after Tuesday, but it's a shame that our goal drought is our main distraction right now. We look solid enough in defence, even our midfield looks OK (a few tackles as well, amazingly). But right now it's like building the most majestic palace and then painting it in the same colour as the Elephant and Castle shopping centre.
Mind you, if we remember last year Eastleigh required a replay, and that kickstarted us off. Sadly, I don't think we can get Scott Fitzgerald back (and boy, could we do with him around right now) so this time round we really will be needing that bit of forward line luck so painfully missing.
If truth be told, I'm struggling to write much else about this. There's only so many times you can discuss up our impotence up front. As said, it is probably the main thing that is holding us back right now. I didn't really think much of Horsham to be honest - granted, they're riding high, but right now we're talking about our deficiencies costing us the game, not their superior skills. But again, have they gone back home tonight thinking they've got out of jail?
While we wait and see, here's...
Plus points: In the hat for the next round. Didn't lose. Defence looked quite solid (and I can't remember the last time I said that)
Minus points: Brothel. Barn door. Banjo. Cow's arse. Can't think of any other figures of speech, but you get my point.
The referee's a......: Look up the advantage rules, you cockmuncher. And next time, don't overcompensate your chronic lack of knowledge over this by blowing up for minor infringements.
Them: As stated above, I wasn't that impressed by them - while they always had that bit about them that would have suckerpunched us, I don't think in hindsight we'd let them get a sniff. Did resort to kicking us a bit. The Lardies are always fun though, and thanks to their turnout the game would have been even more flat. Not sure about the bananas though.
Point to ponder: Although this should really be under Three's A Crowd. It was 1564, which to be honest is a little bit shit. Thing is, why? Yes, I know the kickoff time was always going to be arsey, though what we lost in support today we made back through the bar takings. Yes, a game against another RP side in the cup just doesn't bring people out. And until we start scoring for fun people will look at the thought of spending £9 to watch a near-guaranteed 0-0 draw as a bit of a waste of time, money and effort. But even so, something just ain't happening, and that was with a decent away turnout. I shudder to think of the FAT game next week - suddenly, the Jasper Carrott joke about Birmingham City's crowd springs to mind.
Why don't we have posters advertising our games any more? Sutton United do, and quite a few other clubs allow you to download and print your own displays, and with all due respect if they can do it why can't we? It all stopped for some reason, which I never figured out why, and I'd be interested to see whether our crowds declined when we stopped. We're letting in kids for free, yet the crowds have remained more or less static. Has the AFCW Brown bounce reflected the political one?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Kneiß Rider coming on as sub then walking off with our physio at the end of the game. Great, another crocked striker. (2) The booing at the end. Why? Seriously, why? This wasn't a crap performance, we all know one of those when we see it. There's a difference between being sharp up the, er, sharp end and being shite. Today certainly wasn't the latter. Don't tell me we're metamorphing into Man City fans. (3) The Big Match theme tunes from the 60s and 70s getting an airing, and even a rehashed Sham69 song. Somehow, Phillo has a lot to live up to when he returns....
Anything else? Yes, the new B&Q shed tea bar inbetween the TE and the Piss-Stained
Stand was opened for the first time today. And apart from needing a separate
table for the milk/sugar, I was actually quite impressed. Tea was hot, but
actually tasted like tea rather than hot water with an artificial tea substitute.
Definite 8/10, though I think 80p is steep. I've no idea if it reduced the
queues at the other food outlets, though judging by the people using it at
HT it might well do. Wonder if they do Bovril?
So, was it worth it? Yes, if you don't think goals are a pivotal part of football
In a nutshell: Let's hope for a decent draw in more ways than one....
7 October 2007
Ah, now that was a bit more like it. Well, the second half of Michael Havers 2 Ann Widdicombe 0 was anyway, and suddenly the horrors of our scratch side "performing" last Tuesday was but a distant memory.
Of course, I knew we'd do it. See, unlike Gordon Brown yesterday, we didn't bottle it. Whereas in previous weeks we'd get the 1-0 lead and try to shut up shop, this time we didn't. I dunno why, but this time there wasn't likely to be a last minuter. In fact, we were even treated to a second goal for once - you know, like old times. And all of a sudden, the clouds were less grey, the sun was shining brighter, the October air gave a gentle blust of autumnal warmth and even the Vermin getting their usual favours didn't dampen the mood. Well, almost.
OK, enough hyperbole, although there was a definite change in mood after the game. People were not only impressed by the result (says he stating the bleeding obvious) but by the passion showed, and perhaps for the first time a real clicking of the starting XI. Why? I dunno, but yesterday we looked more of a team. It's as though it's taken us all this time to realise that everything won't be on a plate, and we have to know what each other is doing. To quote an SW19 reader towards the end, "What am I going to do for the last five minutes of the game? I can't even moan."
Perhaps it was Robin Shroot getting a full 90 minutes and for once justifying the hype? I say that because every time I've seen him play for the first team I haven't exactly been impressed. Or maybe it was RB looking fitter (begone, curse) and running quicker than a Franchise fan getting lumbered with a paternity suit. Or maybe, or maybe....
Here's what I reckon. I've just looked at the starting side from yesterday, and in it there were 5 of last year's team (which went up to 6 following substitutions). In hindsight, although he didn't have much choice for the most part, I think TB probably got rid of too much of last year's team too quickly. With the possible exception of Webb, who I think needs a couple of hat-tricks PDQ, the new intake slotted in very nicely yesterday. Which is something I just don't think has happened at any point this season beforehand.
JG, Finn, Beckford, Mark Beard and increasingly Quinn and Leberl are players I can't imagine not starting now. I still think Kneißl will be an asset, although he was playing with the stiffs yesterday. And he scored. The rest I'm unsure about. Warner's gone, Salmon looks like a fish out of water (sorry), Hatton went off the boil very quickly (bit like his arse yesterday, by all accounts). And sorry to say, but I think we will see Marcus Gayle as a cameo at best. By the sound of it, he broke down again in the reserves yesterday, and maybe, just maybe, it's his body telling him to go back to serve the Lord.
As for Guiliano Grazioli, well....... Actually, I didn't hear it, but by the sound of it we won't be seeing him again. I presume his loan spell is up, and quite simply I'm breathing a sigh of relief. I hope TB realises that loan spells like this just don't work. If Grazioli was on top form then take him on loan, but of course that ain't gonna happen until we ever reach the Conference. I would have rather played Daniel Webb there, at least the guy tries.
Have we turned a corner now? Yes. But unlike Liverpool for the last 18 years, let's make sure we're not permanently stuck on a roundabout. Think about it. But for now, I'm happy. We seem more balanced, more idea of what we're doing and what we need to do, and indeed building up that much needed confidence so previously lacking. So expect us to lose 3-0 on Tuesday in the worst performance on a football field since Dida at Parkhead last Wednesday.
And whilst we await that, here's......
Plus points: We won. At KM. First time we've scored in the second half at the TE all season. The not-much-maligned Richard Butler. Robin Shoot. Not really looking like we'd concede.
Minus points: Injuries
The referee's a.........: All right for the most part I suppose, although he did appear to have a time lag between a foul occuring and him blowing up.
Them: Took a good 2-300, probably the biggest away turnout for a competitive fixture at AFCW. Only FCUM took more, and certainly more than Eastleigh, Chelmsford and Wealdstone. Sung a bit as well, though of course they were five years late with that chant. Dickheads. Speaking of those with penises on their head, their #7 was a cunt - not only did he hack down Finn but worse of all he made your editor knock his tea over. He'll be shitting himself now.
Point to ponder: Maidstone took loads. The other teams from memory who have taken a load are Chelmsford, Margate and Wealdstone. Might have missed somebody out but the point still remains. What have they all got in common? They were at one time either a league club or a top non-league side (by that, I mean BS Prem equivalent). If/when we ever play Dover at KM they'll take as many. Doesn't that say something about the makeup of non-league football, as in how many teams have slumped in stature? OK, so have we, but we have an excuse....
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Jerusalem on the PA at the end. Why? (2) 1970s World of Sport theme tune on the PA at the beginning. Again, why? If this is going to be a regular feature, can we have the 1970s Big Match theme tune as well?
Anything else? Yeah, England beat Australia in the toffball. I suppose I ought to insert the following phrases: Middle class. Corporate cocksuckers. Grammar schools. 57 old farts. Posh universities. Financial institutions. £500k houses and can't afford to pay the electricity bill. Perverted public school games masters. Piss drinking. But I won't.
Instead, a comment. No, not the theory I was told once (by somebody involved in rugby, no less) that women who watch rugby union all speak posh, are completely loaded and enjoy it up the wrong un - although if that is true, I'm going down the Stoop next time I'm free. Rather this : as a sport in itself I'm not that anti-rugby union, in fact I'd enjoy it a bit more if its followers weren't quite so up their own arses. I can take or leave the actual in much the same way as I can take swimming (ie if there's a good reason to watch it, I'll watch it). I don't get put off by its complexity - hell, I watch the NFL and golf. But something grabbed me yesterday about the big difference between football and rugby union. I genuinely don't think rugby union fans are as passionate about their sport as football fans are.
OK, I'm not saying that fans of Harlequins, or Leicester, or Bath don't give a shit how they get on. They do. But think about it this way : if Wimbledon FC was Wimbledon RFC, would we have set up the equivalent of AFCW? Or would we have spent our efforts instead getting the cheapest travel up to Buckinghamshire? Did London Irish fans set up RFC Irish of London when they buggered off to Reading? Nope, they looked at the train timetables to the Majeski instead. Ditto Wasps to Wycombe, Sale to Stockport, Rotherham to Millmoor, Saracens to Watford etc - and we had difficulty accepting Selhurst.
If Harlequins were to move away from the Stoop to, say, Basingstoke, would there be a HISA setting up to prevent it? Or indeed why there wasn't much of an obvious stink kicked up when the Welsh clubs merged a couple of years ago? And I haven't started on the Six Nations, which as I understand it are even more corporate wankfests than an exhibition at London Excel. I understand that while there is plenty of Trust involvement in football, and more and more in rugby league, there's precious little in union. QED?
Yes, rugger fans aren't dispensated towards the worst excesses like football fans are (we'll ignore the drinking piss type games and other such jolly japes shall we?). But then, when you consider the above, would you want to be like that?
So, was it worth it? Yes.
In a nutshell: Now, how about a decent run for once?