30 September 2000

A win at SP? Yup, Us 2 Insignificant Northerners 0, and it actually looked rather too easy at the finish. Neil Ardley got a penalty for us, Damo finished it off in about the 88th minute following good work from Angryman, and our first win at Palace's place since Leicester in March this year. Jeez, that is a looooongggggg time. Oh yeah, and the linesman - a Mr Perkins I do believe - is a cunt. A grade A+ complete and utter footballing illiterate cunt. If he actually knows the rules of football I will slit my testicles.

Right, so let's get down to it:

Plus points: A win. A win at SP. A clean sheet. Defense looked solid for the most part. So did Trond. So did Johnathon Hunt. So did Damo. Looked MUCH more direct today than previous SP games. We attacked pretty well. Angryman's contribution for the last 7 minutes that he came on. No Jupp. Just how bad were Stockport?

Minus points: Taking our foot off the gas for much (too much) of the second half. Both JH and Euell looked quite lethargic at times.

Where to improve: Ball. The. Over. Net. Into. Line. The. Put. Rearrange these words into a well known phrase or saying.

Truth is stranger than fiction: Neil Perkins, aka that bent tosser who ran the line and gave all those offsides. I don't think I've seen officiating quite as bad as that.

Officialdom nightmare: I go to a game, and find out that the referee is Jeff Winter, with Neil Perkins and Wendy Toms ruining running the line. I will either walk out or commit murder.

Spotted: The new Celsi boss (Ranieri) in the director's lounge, presumably after Euell. The Laughing Policeman snippet aimed at Celsi before the match was done as he arrived.....

Bad Moon Rising: The temporary blast of the bugle at corners, just when we thought it had been buried. Phillo, please, I'm begging you - no, I'm threatening you - please don't play it. No matter who told you to do it. Thank you.

In a nutshell: Thank fuck we're not Celsi :)

Just can't help wondering why no other media outlet apart from both WFC and Sunderland websites, plus Sky Sports.Com TV have said that Holloway has signed for us. F365 reckon terms are still to be finalised. Please don't let this be yet another famous WFCesque How Not To Handle A Transfer, I've just got over Dunne....

28 September 2000

At last, a good bit of transfer news : we've signed Mackem Darren Holloway (no relation to Ian) for about £1.25m. He can't play tomorrow thanks to a minor ankle injury - just what is it with us with regards to signing injured players? - but should be OK for the Gills match in two weeks time. Now, it's a good signing IMO, it makes sense to have somebody with versatility at the moment. It has been reported on W&WW that we were planning to sign Dunne (was that a big yawn by somebody?) as well as Dazza, can't really fathom the logic of that to be honest : two players who play in the same position, and I can't really see what's wrong with Will and Wil, who have looked as solid as any WFC central pairing I've seen for a while. Still, anyone's better than Jupp.

I will do one final piece on Dunne, and I just hope that now it can rest. Until I get it in black and white from the top brass that this isn't the case, I will still have a sneaking gut feeling that there was a last-minute external hitch which scuppered the deal, though I will drop it to save Jonesy planting car bombs under my motor for not believing him :) But even so, there now has to be at least a severe review of how WFC conducts transfers, and indeed how information is transfered between the top brass and the footballing side. It has been asked how R&G ever got rich given such problems : well, to be honest, I don't think they've got started yet (remember, they are still dealing by and large with an extremely parochial organisation in parts), and any more bad publicity like this will surely see a Norwegian sword slice its way through the organisation of WFC. No bad thing IMO - if you read Odds this evening, you may come to the same conclusion that I have got.

Rather weird quote from TB in the South London Press today. Granted, he was naturally pissed off with losing out on Dunne, saying something like it's a bastard to lose out on a Premiership international who (apparently) wants to join you. But he then said something afterwards which puzzled me - it went something like "we will just have to coach the players more". Eh? Thought that was TB's job anyway? Unless he thinks the current defense isn't good enough, but then it's only really right back at the moment which isn't entirely up to scratch. Methinks TB should try and sort out a ball-winning midfielder as a priority. Or isn't that what Ian Selley is supposed to do?

Also from W&WW - the new club shop should be up and running in about 5-6 weeks, which is nice. Hopefully they'll open one more till this time :)

Couple of minor things : one, we've got Boro in the WC at SP. Revenge mission for being cheated out of 3 points last season methinks. And secondly, wasn't it sad that Celsi lost. Well, I haven't actually finished laughing yet. Did you know that they're reportedly £110m in debt and it's got to be fully paid off by about 2007 or so...?

27 September 2000 [PM EDITION]

And as soon as SW19 calls for something from the club, Charlie K puts his slightly worth more than $0.02 in. Check this out:

"We would like to have resolved a lot earlier than we did, I think in fairness to Richard Dunne he did want to become a Wimbledon player, but there were a few factors involved in the final deal after it had dragged on which made us look twice at the situation and decide it wasn't right for us."

Now, CK is absolving Dunne of any blame, but I'm intrigued by these "few factors". Although it's been reported that things were agreed prior to Dunne taking the medical, the usually ultra-reliable Bloomberg service reported tonight that the deal had been scuppered due to "personal terms" at the last minute. I can only presume then that somebody has tried to ask for some more money despite the vast majority of things being agreed, or to put it another way, pulling a fast one. And given the way this whole transfer has been dragged out, it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find out that one of Dunne's representatives is trying to sting us. Back to CK:

"Relegation from the Premiership has cost us a lot of money in not only terms of television money and attendances but also things like corporate hospitality. We could quite easily go out and spend millions of pounds and not guarantee promotion. What would happen if we brought in five or six Premiership players on Premiership wages and failed to go up? This club could face financial ruin and where would we be then? Our role off the pitch is just as important as the players as we have a responsibility to safeguard the future of Wimbledon Football Club. "

This should now confirm the club's current direction : there is quite simply no point in us trying to spend mega backs on trying to get back up because it's quite frankly too risky. Need I show what happened to Palace? CK continues:

"Terry will have money available but it will not happen overnight but over time. We have the financial structure of a Premiership club in the First Division so that is a greater burden for us. The parachute money helps but it is substantially less than what we would have accrued in the Premiership. Clubs like Watford are in a position to go out and spend £4 million pounds on two players because they are are a First Division club who spent a year in the Premiership with a First Division set-up. That one season has allowed them to gain funds to buy two top flight players, but we have a whole squad of Premiership players already but we are simply not in a position to replace injured players like Kenny Cuningham or Michael Hughes, who will be back in action soon, with players who would cost £2 or £3 million to take their positions in the short term."

"Like everyone involved with the club we want to win promotion this season. If we can do it this year then it would be fantastic. However, it is vitally important that we get the stability of the club and the infrastructure right first so when we do return to the Premiership we can compete with the best. If that means we need this season to do so and it leaves us in a better position next year to compete in the transfer market and rebuild the club then I think every supporter will agree with us."

Remember what I said about WFC's plan to get up into the Premiership being 3 years? You can read the rest of the article yourself from the Official Site, where it mentions PGPF amongst others, but it's now quite obvious that an announcement had to be made and was made pretty eloquently. There was a nasty little rumour in a nasty little tabloid that TB was considering quitting : however, there was no quotes attributed and bearing in mind that the owners hasn't actually undermined TB as such (they are still very keen on Darren Holloway, another one of TB's desirables, and if they were trying to undermine TB then why was DB not at Wigan last night?), I just can't see this happening.

Meanwhile, some places are repeating CK's comments last week about moving away from SP. Nothing new there, except with an extra twist : Simon Jordan sees us vacating SE25 as vital to getting the SP freehold, and may well give us two years and two years only. So, if we announce something before this time next year, we could practically find ourselves having to play somewhere else in the meantime (a la Charlton). Who fancies Craven Cottage? Or even Ponti Stamfordi?

27 September 2000 [AM EDITION]

Eeh, Worthington Cup eh? Can't beat it, honest. And what a fabulous game Third most famous thing to come out of Wigan 1 Second most famous thing to come out of Wimbledon 2 wasn't. OK, enough sneering, I'm not going to take the piss out of a win, especially one away from "home" and against rather tricky opponents as well. Besides, we got further than Charlton :)

JH scored about about 19-21 seconds, depending on who you read, and I can't describe the goal because I missed it. Well, actually, I wasn't paying attention :) Wigan came back quite strong and did indeed have most of the running, no surprise when they scored. However, a minute afterwards we went in front again, lovely pass from Euell to Gayle, rounded the keeper and slotted it in the net. Nice, and he needed that. So did I, I did not want extra time....

The SP:

Plus points: We won. Away. Generally solid performance, able to go up a gear when we needed to. Johnathon Hunt made his debut as sub, looked pretty impressive (and he can cross the ball).

Minus points: Duncan Jupp was awful. Trond's passing, get a feeling that he could find himself being a reserve soon. Stewarding was shite.

Where to improve: Play Neil Ardley at RB for a start.....

Nice: The JJB stadium. Even though there was 4,000 in it, it can still generate a good atmosphere.

Not so nice: Are all Wigan fans inbred?

Truth is stranger than fiction: Having the tiresome "Shit Ground No Fans" sung to us by a load of 14 year old Wigan fans. Try singing something a tad more original, like "Do You Come From Manchester?" to Man U fans.

Was it worth it?: Well, I got to see a new ground, I saw us win and I remembered why I don't travel on the coach anymore....

In a nutshell: This is what football is all about. No wonder attendances are dropping :)

Now onto the Richard Dunne saga yet again - this must be the most column inches written about a player who hasn't signed for us. It's starting to become clearer as to the whats, whys and wherefores, though obviously an explanation from the club is still 100% desirable. It seems as though that we were after both Dunne and somebody called Darren Holloway (no relation to Ian), both defenders. Holloway is cheaper by about £1m, and unlike Dunne seems quite adept at playing anywhere in defense. This seems to be compounded by the revelation by Peter Cork yesterday that David Barnard wasn't at Wigan yesterday (codeword for "we're signing somebody"). However, the Dunne deal seemed to catch everyone on the hop : remember that up until Sunday just about everyone thought it was dead, and chances are we had switched our attention to Holloway instead. Obviously, we know what happened afterwards, and I don't think WFC have come out with much credit, but then our PR and damage limitation department is shite anyway.

Now, everyone needs a scapegoat for this, and I've got mine : whoever is responsible for relaying financial and other such information between Terry Burton and R&G. As said yesterday, I still find it very hard to believe that TB doesn't know at least the basic financial state of WFC, but then it's probably not his job, so I'm not really going to blame him for it. I'm also going to risk my credibility here (you mean I had some???) and not put the blame on R&G for this either. Why? OK, look at it from their standpoint : WFC, whether you like it or not, is not their "main" business, but it's one of their businesses nonetheless, and it's not in their interests for it to fail. As they seem to run so many businesses (again, you may not like it but this is the real world and very few clubs are run like corner shops these days), it is practically impossible to keep 100% tabs on 100% of all companies at 100% of the time. So therefore they have to delegate people to oversee what they own. Now, according to well-known financial houses and those individuals who have seen WFC accounts over the last few years, we are not looking too healthy - basically, there's been a lot of hedonistic buying in the past and we're now paying for it (literally). So, looking at a balance sheet it makes more sense financially to sign a player who's cheaper and more versatile than "waste" double the money on somebody who can play in less positions. R&G obviously weren't too keen on the deal going through, so they pulled the plug.

Now, why did it get so far before this all happened? I am more and more convinced the old communication breakdown is the reason : somebody must have told TB that the Dunne signing may not have been the preferred choice, so why go ahead with it? Likewise, somebody must have told R&G that Dunne would have cost a lot. No, this doesn't explain why the fees were agreed - communication breakdown again? - or why it got to a medical (although TB wasn't actually there - maybe, just maybe, we should have waited until TB was there and R&G had been properly informed), but until we get something more definitive, that's my reckoning and I'm sticking to it :)

One thing, we really need to get Darren Holloway now, otherwise somebody's going to lose their life.....

26 September 2000 [AM EDITION]

Semi-brief update before I go to Wigan today (update on that game tomorrow) - I trust you've all read Jonesy's site on the Dunne transfer and the utter cock-up that seems to have happened. I'm trying to get my head around it, it's so illogical. After all, if you invite a player down via plane, get him a medical which he passes and then pull the plug on the deal, there has to be something seriously wrong somewhere. My own personal view is that there was a major 11th hour 59th minute hitch which scuppered the deal. It could have been financial, it could have been a slight anomality with the medical (yeah, he passed it but I don't trust our doctors one bit), it could have been something totally obscure like Dunne's living quarters being gazumped and subsequently having nowhere to live. Anything.

Now, I'm finding it a little bit hard to comprehend that we can't afford Dunne. If, as has been suggested, the wage bill is too high, then why did we even attempt to sign him? I seriously doubt if (a) TB didn't know what the financial situation was at WFC, and/or (b) BRG didn't divulge this information at least sometime during this season. So why the breakdown in communication? Has somebody not been doing their job? Our record on transfers has been pretty appauling recently, much of it was being used in the press by certain people (eh, Mr Merson?), and when we've sold players we have to go on major PR damage limitation. So this is yet another PR cockup and quite frankly I'm sick of such amateurism.

What needs to be done now is some major explaining. We need to know why the deal was scuppered, and the reasons behind the lateness of it. If it was finance, so be it. I don't have any problems with money, I would rather not waste it and according to BRG's interview, he doesn't seem too keen on giving it out willy nilly these days. If it was a breakdown in communication between the bankers and TB, then sort that out as a matter of urgent priority. If our problems are down to us not being able to handle transfers, then employ an intermediate who does. I get the impression that both TB and R&G aren't particularly experienced in dealing with signing (and selling) players, but David Barnard is. Surely he must know if we can afford it or not? People are starting to lose faith in R&G, and whilst I still firmly believe that they are the best men to be running WFC at the moment, I don't honestly blame the doubters.

One final thing - doesn't this remind you of how Glasgow Rangers treated JH?

24 September 2000

Yeuch. Super Hoops 2 Spaghetti Hoops 1. Suddenly, the pre-match hype and tension of glorious days in London W12 seem so far far away. We were, to put it mildly, inept for a great deal of the match, yet a neutral would probably say that save for about the last 2 minutes of the first half and up until Rangers' second goal we dominated. So what went wrong? You can look at it in one of two ways : one, we are shite, or second, it was one of those days, and yes teams do play badly and yes, teams do lose occasionally. Even us. I tend to fall inbetween both stalls meself...

What was the problem? I don't know, I guess the old WFC achillies heel of complacency reared its ugly turd-like head again. Remember, we have been strolling it too much of late against Wolves and Wigan, we tried it again today and finally got caught out. Our previously solid paring of Wil and Will was breached twice in exactly the same manner, though it has to be said that our width players (and especially our right side) were virtually non-existant. Jupp looked out of it at times (is this the same Duncan Jupp who was turning heads only last season? Now he's turning stomachs), Ardley laboured as usual, and am I the only person who is getting rather fed up with Marcus Gayle? Just because he scored against Man U about 3 years ago does not mean he should automatically get in the squad : I guess that people like Johnathon Hunt and Pär Karlsson when they get their feet together may be giving the likes of Ardley and Gayle some much needed competition.

Anyway....

Plus points: Save for the 15 minute spell mentioned above, 75% of our defense looked quite solid. The fact that after 2-0 down we went for it - we went to our much vaunted and more direct Plan B and looked threatening, hopefully this will wake the players up and make them realise that you cannot stroke around the ball all the time and expect to win. The away support for us was fantastic - about 3,000 (meaning QPR had to move the mesh separate to accomodate us all). £16 wasn't bad for a good view, shame it was facing the pitch.

Minus points: We lost. We conceded two goals for the first time this season. We conceded poor goals. General complacency until we went 2-0 down. Gave the ball away too much in vital areas. Overall distribution and crossing was poor. We maybe got "found out" today, we have been teetering on the edge for a couple of games now - maybe this will be the wake-up call that Burnley was. The ref was a totally inept cunt - missed a penalty for us, if the handball was any more blatant then it would have had a neon sign on it with a huge arrow saying "Handball, please give penalty". Wil's 5th booking, means he'll have to miss a match or two - the return of Dean Blackwell (oh goody, I can hardly wait......).

Where to improve: Ah, where shall I start. Let's start at the very basics, shall we? Firstly, the round thing with "Mitre" or "Adidas" on it is called a football. Got that? A f-o-o-t-b-a-l-l. Now, what do we do with this thing called a football? We kick it, that's right. Now, where do we kick this football device to? Yes, a member of your own team. Thank you. Sorry, I'm being cynical. Let's try being a bit more direct, shall we? That means learning to cross the ball accurately for a start. How about challenging for the ball in midfield? That'll be a good way to carry on. And as this for a radical idea, would it be possible for certain members of our first team to actually look who to pass it to? Yes, that will apply to quite a few of you today. Please learn this by Wigan, or by Stockport at the very latest. Thanks.

Truth is stranger than fiction: The away attendance. This must have been the biggest crowd we have taken to Loftus Road ever. The Rangers' stewards were shitting themselves.

Point to ponder: Just why is it that we seem to save our worst performances when we take a large away contingent? Think about it - Fulham last year, Bradford, Soton and today. Is this some perverse punishment that the club dishes out? Or is it a subconcious adverse reaction to playing in front of so many of our support?

In a nutshell: One step back? If so, just make sure we learn from it.....

Elsewhere, I was involved in a conversation with one Charles Koppel. The centre of conversation - apart from the rowing of course - was the SLP article tomorrow. And guess what - it's slightly out of context. But before you commit suicide, this is what CK meant : an announcement could well be made by the New Year at the earliest but - and I warn you - it could take up to a year before an announcement is made. Now do you see what I mean when I tell you not to get jumped up ideas? Remember, CK did use "hopefully" in the SLP. So, why the seemingly long time? Well, two reasons : one, it is best not to say where it is to save the residents going apeshit. Secondly, I would imagine that buying land off a private entity is not as easy as buying land (like PGPF) from a charity. Without knowing much about land surveying and stuff like that, even if both parties are willing to tie up the deal there is bound to be problems with leases, clauses (ie you cannot build for x amount of time) and what have you. So yes, if CK has found a site - and I have no reason to doubt he has - actually having it in WFC's possession may take a bit more time. Have patience, it will be worth it in the end

Forgot to mention this yesterday - despite its vast improvement in recent months, Planet/NTL/whoever are going to lose their licence for the Official site, and it's going "in-house" from the new year. This according to Reg Davis on C17 Sport. By "in house", I wonder if it'll be given to one of us WFC webmasters to do? (note to WFC: I don't actually want the job of designing it, though I will gladly do a bit of writing for it). Or will one of BRG's internet companies get the job? Or both? Guess a section of the SW19 Poll will wind its way to WFC before you can say "TOS violation"

Finally, the Palace match at their place is off. Although scheduled for the 8th, it'll now be some other time. Guess it prepares them for their expected arse-kicking....

22 September 2000 [AM EDITION]

Special update, and with mega-good reason. In today's South London Press (now officially the local paper of SW19's choice), is an interview with one Charles Koppel. Brace yourself, you may need some Kleenex:

"Tuesday was a miserable night for everyone here." said Koppell. "It just highlights that we need to get something sorted because the groundshare is not working. We are based in Selhurst which is CP land. People who live here support them and are not going to come to our games." So, in just a few short months (well less than that come to think of it), both BRG and now CK have said what we have known since 1991. So, what's the remedy? Well.....

"At this stage we have already identified a site for a new ground, and hopefully we'll be able to unveil plans in the new year."

I apologise for making it bold and making it stand out, but you can fully appreciate why. Is the Holy Grail finally about to happen? Well, OK, this is a start : we have heard it all before, but cruicially it's not coming from Hammam's mouth any more. Reason to get out the champagne? Not yet, but it's the best ground news we've heard in over 10 years now. Why am I not jumping about like a loony? Because 10001 things can and do go wrong, but believe me, if it does happen I'll be masturbating more than I did than when I first discovered Hustler.

So, where is this site? Well, to be honest I'm not so sure we should really know at this stage because as said above, if any time is as likely to go pear shaped, it's now. I think we can harbour educated guesses - it'll probably be somewhere between Wimbledon and Gatwick, nowhere near SE London and possibly down the A3. No, I don't really know, but given that both CK and BRG have made much mention that it's got to be near as possible to our fan base, I think it will be rather more easy to get to from SW19 than at the moment. Make no mistake, this is a big announcement.....

Meanwhile, another big announcement : Terry Burton has finally sussed out the meeja. Speaking to the official site, he said "Every time I commented on Richard Dunne something went wrong and the same for Paul Merson. We will hopefully have or two new names soon but until they happen I don't really want to comment on them." . He's learning. He's also recommended that OGEM goes for the Millwall job, saying that he does a good job wherever he goes. Good job in what, exactly? Given their past history together, I guess TB must really have something against Millwall....

19 September 2000

Oh jesus christ, what the hell can I write about Southern Fried Chicken 0 Northern Soul 0 that doesn't dwell on the attendance, the performance, the weather, the whole charade tonight? OK, let's try and concentrate..... er, Gordon Brown's fucked himself up with that book hasn't he? Shouldn't pretend you don't know anything, eh? Oh shit, this is a football fanzine, and I've got to say something about the game. Oh, er, um. Oh yeah, Robbo played. That somewhat puts a spoke in the theory that he'll never play for us most of the time : hell, if he's supposed to have had a row with TB and even REMBE won't play him in the reserves, then he's obviously back in WFC's good books. Unless this is punishment for Robbo. Owusu played, he skyed it. Anything else? Oh yeah, who fancies going to the JJB next week? I do, I want to see yet another new ground.....

And now, the difficult bit :

Plus points: No, don't laugh, there were some. Honest. Like us not losing, and keeping a clean sheet - we haven't had so many 0-0 draws at "home" for a long, long time, and like buses they're coming all at once. Kelvin Davis looks sharp. So does Michael Thomas. Wil and Will look the biz. That kebab (a mixture of doner and kofte with heaps of salad) by the nearest kebab shop to Selhurst station - mmmmmm. And the biggest plus point of the night was the referee blowing up for full time.

Minus points: Turning up for a start. No sorry, I'm being cynical. JH played his worst game for a long while for us. So did Trond and Jupp. This was a typical 2nd round League Cup game. It was pissing down. Attendance was shit. We could feasibly go out this time next week, unless we wear our green shirts. Did we have a shot on goal? Too much like a training session again. Are we ever going to win at "home"? Come to think of it, are we ever going to score at home? I'm sure you can fill in your own minus points.

Where to improve: Not so much the team performance, I think this was lethargy with a capital "L", but this makes me realise just how flawed the Worthless Cup is. Here's how to improve the tournament. Play the final by Xmas, keep the UEFA cup place, but divide the draw into northern and southern throughout the whole tournament. The winner of the northern heat gets to play the southern heat winners. Make it finish on the night, slash the prices and you may sparkle a bit of interest. Hell, we got about 2,000 at best, Derby only got 2000 odd as well and there were more people at Darlington than at Middlesbrough. I hope the marketing board at Bass are reading this....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Panicking slightly that I am currently without transport for the second leg. (2) The calls for Leaburn to come on - now that IS fucking strange. (3) At last I have found a team with a worse away average than us - step forward the 50 or so (Northern) souls from the JJB. Sadly, my enthusiasm for this statistic has been dampened slightly by the fact that they entered the league after us and haven't come close to the top flight.

Truth is definitely stranger than fiction: The realisation that I actually PAID to watch this.

Was it worth it? What do you think?????

In a nutshell: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


16 September 2000

THUMP!!!! Did I hear something crash to earth there? Well, no actually, it was merely Reg Davis' Employers 1 Reg Davis' Boyhood Team 1, and after a reasonably good winning run we threw it away. Well, OK, I'm being a little bit unkind here, but I think today we didn't make much progression. JH scored his fifth goal in a week which was nice, and we were undoubtedly committed, but whether it was just jadedness or (dare I say) complacency, there certainly wasn't so much of the urgency about the place as there was for Wednesday or even Huddersfield. Are we slipping back into old nasty habits? Two steps forward, one step sideways? We were by far the better team for most of the game, insofar as we could have gone up a gear. Sadly, we didn't....

The $0.02 :

Plus points: We didn't lose. We had most of the play. Defense generally looks like it knows what it's doing, first time for a long while. Kelvin Davis, or "Sully Who?". JH scoring. Peter Hawkins looks as great as ever. Michael Thomas now he's fit looks a class above. The rehabilitation of Jason Euell continues.

Minus points: Extreme indirectness cost us the game - at times we took it like a training session. Gave the ball away in moments of over-elaboration. Letting in the Wolves goal. Defense at times does look a little bit shaky still when teams really press on us (a contradiction to what I said in the Plus Points bit I know). Poor Lionel Morgan looked a little out of his depth.

Where to improve: FOR FUCKS SAKE, SHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Truth is stranger than fiction: Last time we played Wolves at Palace's place, there were 11,000 from the Black country. Today, there were about 500. Go figure.

The real important stuff: The new club shop at SP is open. And it looks like it's going to be a roaraway success, judging by the queues. Stuff in there is reasonably moorish, though I have to confess I don't actually like our merchandise that much. Put it this way - if it didn't have WFC on it, I wouldn't be tempted in the least to buy it. Some nice classy t-shirts would be nice (hell, Puma are one of the world's biggest sportswear makers and they don't generally make crap), or how about a WFC video section? Still, good to see the interest is there and I seriously hope that it survives and even flourishes. I kid you not, I think it's better than the Palace one just 25 yards away, and is just as nice as some American outlets I've been in. Let's hope that the upcoming one in Wimbledon Broadway is just as successful.

In a nutshell: Work to be done.


12 September 2000

Yes, I really am in Ooodersfield, and it really was Ran Out Of Fuel Yesterday 0 We've Got Some Fuel Just 2. I trust you saw it on Sky TV, if not, then you'll be pleased to know that John Hartson scored twice and we won. Indeed, we carried on as we left off against Wednesday - nice control, intelligent play, oh and we won....

So what.....

Plus points: We won. We didn't concede a goal. We've doubled our away win record since March 98. Nobody played badly. Michael Thomas looks fit. JH looks quite sharp. Euell looks very sharp. Defense playing well. Kelvin is now definitely receiving "Sully Who?" type comments, he was excellent again. Trond's confidence is improving. We played well in front of the Sky cameras. Consistency. Playing well away from home without really going into third gear

Minus points: I've got one - my left foot fucking hurts. Don't know why. Oh, and our away attendance wasn't particularly good, though the petrol crisis was a major player in that

Where to improve: None really. Just make sure we don't suffer from complacency

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Actually winning more than one away game a season. (2) The steward who told us to sit down for the whole game. Then finding out he supported Sheffield United. (3) Discovering that there are at least two Wombles in my hotel (Ashfield Hotel, New North Road if you must know), plus two Arsenil fans who went along tonight just to watch us

Quotes of the day: (1) "Don't worry, you'll get 6 past this lot so you might as well sit down and take it easy" - the Sheff Utd steward as stated above. (2) "You're in a different league to us" - two Huddersfield fans after the game

Social bit: Met FL John for the first time, and the Decorator (from the W&WW guestbook) was sitting in front of me.

Was it worth it? Oh yeah.......


10 September 2000 [AM edition]

As any supporter worth their salt will tell you, there comes a match (often after a shitty run) when suddenly everything goes right. And Woeful Wednesday 0 Wonderful Wombles 5 was one of them. Yesterday was great for a number of reasons - obviously, winning 5-0 away from Selhurst Park for the first time since Doomsday was one, but the manner of the performance as well. Frighteningly, we really can play better. People like Kelvin, JH and even the much maligned Euell played like demons, but there was no real loser yesterday. Except Wednesday of course - needless to say, those who were there last year will have felt exorcised : not only did we return the humiliation to Wednesday, but we also gave it back to Paul Jewell (I will forever despise Bradford) in spades. Ha.

Anyway, here's the craic :

Plus points [abridged to save bandwidth]: First win since Leicester at SP last season. Scoring five goals. Conceding none - it was extremely gratifying to keep a clean sheet which may be just as important as scoring loads. Jumping up about 15 zillion places in the table. Being able to sing "Jingle Bells" for the first time in a long while. Outstanding performances by just about everyone, but special mention to Kelvin, Euell and JH (if he's supposed to be unfit....). The fact that we just kept on attacking, even after the fifth - just how many times over the years have we sat back after scoring one, two or even three goals? Trond looks much more comfy in midfield. Nobody got injured, despite that Wednesday Italian guy trying his best to decapitate Ardley and the mass attempted leg-breaks on Lionel Morgan in the 90th minute. Seeing half the Wednesday crowd walk out after our third goal. Seeing 75% of the remaining Wednesday crowd walk out after the fourth goal. The subtle inter-polarisation of our cheers and the Wednesday boos on the final whistle. In other words, the whole damn day.

Minus points: You mean there were some? Well, just a couple of minor irritations : that spell that Wednesday had for the last 10 minutes of the first half - I genuinely thought that we could have gone a goal or so down, but I knew we could have come back. The two twats in the first half behind me slagging Euell off for everything - yeah, I know the guy has done some tossery type things in the past, and he may still want to leave, but when the guy is playing well it's best not to act like tossers yourselves. The final whistle, I just did not want that second half to end.

Where to improve: You know what, at this time I just can't think of anything.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Did we really win 5-0? (2) The comment made to me during the second half that "had we played Grimsby last week we would have lost badly". Strange because it would have been absolutely correct. (3) A certain well known WFC internet guru and professional gambler losing a grand total of 27 rounds of poker on the trot. Even more strange because I was beating him despite never having played poker in my life. (4) Panicking afterwards after remembering Charlie Reep's theory about teams who score 5 goals in one match. I remember Drillo saying that it very rarely doesn't happen, but it does occasionally doesn't work out. Here's hoping that Oodersfield is one of those rare times (although a 1-0 win on Tuesday will suit me just fine...)

Cliché-o-rama: Paul Jewell saying "I thought we [Wednesday] had turned the corner but I guess leopards don't change their spots". Guess he also mentioned that they bossed the game early doors but at the end of the day it really was a game of two halves. Never mind, I suppose that ITV have offered him a commentating job when he gets the boot from Wednesday...

Probably the most surreal moment of all time: It has become tradition on train travel back to t'smoke of impromtu kareoke. Led by certain nameless people, and fuelled by varying quantities of alcoholic beverages, the whole train can get to hear unique interpretations of such popular favourites such as "Lonely Girl", "Bat Out Of Hell", "Bohemian Rhapsody", "Summer Loving" and other timeless classics. Anyway, sporadically joining in this on his way to/from the cancer stick carriage was one Charles Koppell. As in BRG's right hand man. Seemed normal at the time, on sober reflection this was an extremely surreal situation. Next time, expect BRG to entertain the masses with a version of "Unchained Melody". Or KIR (having been on the train negotiating to buy Railtrack - hell, he's buying everything else) to delight the ensemble with a highly ironic version of "If I Were A Rich Man".......

In a nutshell: We've found out that the steering wheel works, now we're finding that when it starts working we're getting somewhere. Well, it's better than saying "we've turned the corner"


7 September 2000 [PM edition]

First things first, there is a WISA Ordinary General Meeting at 7.30pm at the St Georges Community Centre next door to Elys, SW19 - it's basically to ratify the WISA constitution. Hence the PM update today - there may be an update tonight, there may not. So don't hold your breath :)

Last night, we played Spurz reserves at GGL. Drew 0-0, we had most of the play, but in goal for them was Ian Walker. And guess what, he's still the biggest cunt in football. He was clearly riled by the boo-boys behind the goal, faking yawns, calling to us "you're brave", giving a wanker sign at the end and - just to prove what an absolute pathetic human being he is - tried to insult us by saying "you can go to your homes now". Lame or what? Yeah, you're not hard, you're just a long haired wanker who's got an ego that far outweighs your talent. Bet you thought you should be in the San Siro rather than GGL? No, you're there because George Graham is giving you the abject humiliation that you richly deserve. And your dad's crap. And your mum's d.... oh yeah, the match. We played well, still can't score, but then that's nothing new

I've spammed everywhere else about this, and I ought to do it here as well - BRG was interviewed in this month's 442, and you can find a transcript HERE. If you haven't read it, do so, because I'm going to give my opinions about it below...


Right, I assume you've read it, so here's my 2¢ worth : I firmly believe that we are now closer to getting our own stadia than at any time since 1991. You may have heard SH say words to the effect of "we need our own stadium", but BRG is much more specific about how much it will cost, how he (and KIR) will fund it, what size it will be etc etc. His language was far more in-depth than SH's lip-service ever was (when did you ever hear him talk about how it would be funded?), so it sounds legit. Obviously, we still have to find a site, get planning permission and build it, all easier said than done, and that may take longer than 3 years, but for now, things are looking good. I honestly believe that any new site should not be used purely as a soccer stadium - even if it cost £30m that will mean that it would take WFC a long, long time to pay it off. If we're going to spend £60m on it, then I expect a roof on it a la Toronto Skydome. That will make it so much more profitable. Maybe we'll have to share it with somebody like the Broncos, or even somebody like Fulham? So what, if it means we have our own stadium with our own identity, I'll go for it. Hasn't done the Milan clubs any harm, and it may save us financially imploding a la Bolton or Reading with their new grounds. Interesting that BRG's opinion on transfers seems to tie in with TB's....

Speaking of which - Paul Kitson? Well, that's the story doing the rounds today. Brum were going to go in for him, but TB is supposedly making an 11th hour swoop. For £1m. Reckon he'll come? Well, he'll link up with JH, just as he did when they were at West Ham (with reasonable success). Wait and see. Other transfer news - I guess we've given up on Richard Dunne, as we've tried and failed to get Robert Molenaar for £1m from Leeds. He's a centreback, and Leeds accepted the £1m but he turned us down as he didn't want to drop a division. His loss.

Finally, more on the EU's transfer scrapping. They're claiming that they don't want to scrap transfer fees, but they came out with this : "The Commission wishes to see a transfer system that respects both the principles of Community law and specificity of sport. The transfer system does neither. It restricts competition between clubs." Er, yeah. So why are FIFA and UEFA having to have major meetings to keep some resemblance of the transfer system? Don't believe that the current system will remain in place, too much has happened to pull back now.

Oh yeah, and Ian Walker's wife is a slut.


4 September 2000

Yeuch, I hate non-news weeks. But here goes - we've got Par Karlsson for the ludcriously low fee of £40k. Which is low in itself, but considering that the guy is under 24, a regular for IFK Gothenburg and has played in the Champions League is quite amazing. Even more amazing is that IFK wanted £1m for him. Jesuz, they really must hate us - first, we beat them 7-3 in 1985, and now we steal their best players for a pittance. It hasn't gone down well in Sweden, this transfer, I found one website which reported on it - getting my Anglo-Swedish dictionary out, I got to find out what the Swedish words are for "Par Karlsson's mother has a bloody pussy", "Wimbledon blow little kids for thrills" and "Whoever sanctioned this is a personal friend of Sam Hammam". So they're not particuarly happy. Mind you, I put it down to the fact that we have Norwegian owners, and from what I've gathered, the Swedes and the Norwegians don't like each other that much.

PK is a left sided midfielder, may be a replacement for Marcus Gayle. Looks like what I heard at Burnley about the Religious Zealot may not be so far fetched after all

Speaking of transfers, Richard Dunne. Oh, you've stopped paying attention. Ah well, I won't bother telling you that he's said that he will drop down a division. Shame he played so well for Eire that a Prem club will come in for him.

TB was on Radio 5 today, didn't get to hear it (well, I was at the Fosters Oval...), but he apparently insinuated the following : there wasn't much leadership last year, he felt that he got more than enough for Double H, we have money to spend but aren't going to waste it, many injuries etc etc. Nothing earth shattering, though he is remaining consistent.

Drillo's book should be out soon, he apparently reckoned that people like JH went to the pub during training. Even more interesting is that he blamed himself for not being harsh enough with them. Like that would have made any difference....