26 December 2000

The traditional boxing day game is normally cold and dampened by a really dumb kickoff time of 12pm, and SW19's Army 1 Royal Navy 1 was no exception. If I was the BBC or some other football journo type twat, I would describe this game as scrappy. However, I'm a WFC fan, so I'll instead describe this game as a rather good performance that was performed in some right shitty conditions. We put on probably most of the pressure, certainly I don't recall Pompey having many chances (oh yeah, their goal, but that was against the run of play anyway...). However, it was only a goal about 4 minutes into the second half - scored by Damo - that ensured we got the point. Probably should have won it, but then if you don't score, you don't win

Settle down with a stale leftover mince pie, grab yourself a lager and enjoy the SW19 $0.02:

Plus points: We didn't lose. Solid performances from most of the team. Passing and distribution - and movement - at times was good. The way we bounced back from conceding so late in the first half - would have knocked the stuffing out of us previously. Angryman - ran like fuck, terrorised the Pompey defense at times and when he had to go off injured (hamstring) he wasn't happy at this ineviability.

Minus points: Conceding a goal. We didn't win. Ardley wasn't exactly the best I've seen him. Attackers did on occasions get in the way of each other. Pitch looked shit.

Retard: The ref. Missed a punch on Darren Holloway by a Pompey player during a second half fracas. Missed quite a bit, come to think of it.

Draw your own conclusions: JH wasn't on the bench today. But he did turn up. Question is, why didn't he play? I've heard conflicting stories that he's merely got flu, but not exactly dressing like he has flu, to him turning up drunk and being dropped, to throwing a strop and walking out. Guess we'll find out soon enough. He wasn't in the players area, certainly, though it is thought he went to an executive box. And before you say anything, we are certainly much better off without him.

For the uninitiated: In the olden days, the main enemy weren't Palace, or Fulham, but Portsmouth. And their fans are still little sailor boys.

Quotes: "Who got sent off?" - my 84 year old grandmother, asking me about today's game. What - are we getting such a bad-boy reputation again that people are thinking we'll always have 10 men?

Do you realise.......: This was our second highest attendance of the season.

So, was it worth it?: Yeah, suppose so. It certainly wasn't our worst performance, that's for sure.

In a nutshell: Patience, guys, we're getting there.

24 December 2000

Business as usual : another trip away from the Cesspit, another comprehensive victory : Transexuals 0 Straight & Narrow 4 was especially pleasing, as we didn't have our supposed best player, JH on the field. Up front was Angryman, who terrorised the utter shit out of them along with Euell who we must make every effort to keep on this performance (yeah, I'd never thought I'd be saying that myself). Indeed, everyone played well, including the dismissed Rob Gier. Kelvin had a few saves to make, but the main talking points were the goals : only one from a set play (Williams for the second), Trond's first was a gorgeous strike, Euell's two were absolutely sublime. When was the last time we saw a WFC player chip the ball....?

Now the Xmas cheer

Plus points: Winning "away" yet again. Keeping a clean sheet. Just generally looking in charge. Excellent performances all round. The way we fluidly passed the ball. The way we backed each other up. Angryman looking like somebody who can only get better. Euell's goals. Trond's goal. The WFC support

Minus points: Gier's sending off. A bit stupid. Still, at least he's our new Ben Thatcher.

Things that make you go "Eek": The weather. I've been in warmer chest freezers.

Quotes: (1) "I'm not paying any money to that bearded cunt" - certain un-named Womble complaining about Virgin's slightly non-VFM beverage service. The cunt in question, in case you haven't guessed already, is Richard Branson, who would go to the opening of a toilet seat if it got his mug in the papers. (2) "Queer" - Tranmere Rovers fan to a Womble who was doing a disturbingly accurate impression of Peter Cork on the bus back to Birkenhead Central. Sadly, Mr [name witheld to protect the embarrased party] went too far when he started chatting up local Czech Republic males.

Point to ponder: Does this performance, and others like it, suggest once and for all that a certain Welsh centre forward is not needed anymore?

Missing: One John Hartson from the team bus. Obviously didn't travel up. Hardly the sort of thing that one would expect from the team captain. Neither is alledgedly going drinking in Covent Garden only this week, staying to closing time and then supposedly asking the bar staff "so where can I go after closing time?"

Truth is stranger than fiction: Those limos..........

Nice: Tranmere's ground. And their stewards seemed to come from Planet Earth.

With friends like these..... : The OS commentary saying there were "only" 80 of us there. Ignore the fact there was over triple that there, when you get this sort of ill informed bullshit on your own site, what hope have we got?

So, was it worth an obscenely early start in a freezing part of England just before Xmas, suffering Virgin delays and getting back at midnight merely to watch 22 grown men kick a synthetic pigs bladder around a pitch?: Oh come on, what do you think? I didn't pay to get in either.

In a nutshell: Merry Xmas Wimbledon.

22 December 2000

Yeah yeah, I know I haven't been updating. This is primarily what this update is about. Firstly, I have been EXTREMELY busy recently, suffice to say that it's only really the match reports that I can actually do at the moment. If you look at most other web sites, this site is actually updated more than most. This is not a slur on any site BTW, anyone involved in one will know exactly how hard it can be to maintain freshness. The fact that there isn't half as much decent news about as there was like last season is a major contibutory factor, and until I get anything decent, it'll remain like this for a while. What I may be able to do is a weekly roundup type thing say in the middle of the week, again, this depends on time but I'd like to keep it rolling.

Secondly, I won't be in the UK between the 5th Jan and the 9th Jan. New York, if you must know. And yes, I know I'm going away again. Spare me the lectures :)

Thirdly, I'm going to make a plea, or proposition, or whatever. I want more articles from the SW19 readership, and I will from time to time ask for somebody to do a front cover. I've had loads (well, OK, two) complaints about the staleness of the front sheet, trust me, I AM aware of the situation, I haven't really had much material to work on, and as such it's been quite slack. There may be one soon, maybe even before Xmas day. So keep peeled.

Fourthly, and finally, don't expect an update before Christmas Eve. No, I'm not evading my responsibilities, just that I am going to get back very late from Tranmere, and quite frankly I'll be brain dead this time tomorrow.....

Anyway, here's some news which you probably know already : Dry Martini's back in Norway. Which is a shame, I believe the abuse (and that's what it was - abuse) at the Leicester game last season just because he wasn't Michael Hughes was a major factor in TB getting rid of him. He's no worse than the likes of Ardley, but I guess it's the old Player Power raising its ugly head yet again. You know, when a certain captain of ours is overheard after a game this season giving anti-Norwegian rhetoric to anyone in earshot, that kind of thing.

Can't really say much about our SP form this season, but Neil Ardley's comments that "we hate this place" can be taken one of two ways. Either he's having a go at the fans, or he's having a go at the SP environment. If it's the latter, it's a welcome blast and a major "ally" in our attempts to leave the Toilet Bowl. If it's the former, then it may prove that our players really do believe that they're beyond reproach. Needless to say, the atmosphere at SP hasn't been THAT bad in the main, a few flat games true but also some real passion there (Tranmere and Bolton spring to mind here). Excuse making? Well, Dean Holdsworth reckons so, but will our lot listen..........?

16 December 2000

We prepare everything right. We put in effort at SP. We stay in hotels before the game. We even consider playing in green. So how the fuck did Puma 0 Reebok 1 happen? Mostly all round good performance, only letting the second placed team in the league have about one shot on target. Which they duly scored with. From Dean fucking Holdsworth as well - bet the ovation he got before the game motivated him. Once again the ire of playing at Shitehurst is really getting to people : apart from the two ends behind the goals (see pic left) the rest of it was empty. When people are doing not entirely trivial campaigns to get Wimbledon back to a refurbished Plough Lane because they are generally fearful that the bottom will fall out of the club because of SP, you know we have problems....

The SP:

Plus points: Probably the best WFC performance at SP this season, believe it or not. Everyone except a couple of people played well. Looked a team for the most part.

Minus points: We lost. SP really is getting people down. The supposedly Premiership quality of JH and Euell looked anything but - glaring misses and the fact that Colin Hendry had JH in his pocket proves that. Am I being unfair? Well if I am, I ain't the only one.

Where to improve: Same problem yet again - we just ran out of steam. The goal seemed to knock the stuffing out of us.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) I had forgotten how much a team can run a game and yet still lose. (2) Were Bolton REALLY second in the table? If we consolidate this year, get the right players out and the right players in, we could storm this division next season. I mean it.

Not time to panic, but....... : The realisation that we are simply relying too much on our away form.

Quotes: (1) "Every time I say something, it always appears on your web site" - certain un-named Womble to me at half time. No, I am not taking quote publishing to extremes. Honest. (2) "Get rid of Euell and Hartson quick, they were the ones that cost us the game today" - my dad.

TB quoteth: "The crowd always gives a good response and they applauded us off at the end". Makes a change from frequently being how crap the atmosphere always is. Methinks TB knows he's running out of excuses.

In a nutshell: Beware of the suckerpunch..........

13 December 2000

Firstly, after many (well OK, two) complaints, I will point out that it was indeed Damien Francis who scored the first goal against Brum on Saturday, not Jason Euell. Humblest apologies.

Secondly, and probably more relevant. Somebody please explain to me the reasoning behind Battered 2 Haddock 2 - there must really be a psychological barrier playing at the Toilet Bowl that prevents the team from winning there ever. It's as though we've now convinced ourselves that we will never win at SP again. And tonight proved it. The fact that we gave away at least one soft goal (well, I missed the second one) cancelled out the efforts from Euell and Trond. Yes, the pitch was cack, but frankly there is now no excuse for such Jeckyl like behaviour this season. When the crowd start getting on your back against opposition that you're really expected to hammer, you really have a serious problem. We certainly do at the moment, I just can't think of how we're ever going to remedy this....

I'll be brief.....

Plus points: Well we didn't lose.....

Minus points: But we didn't win either

Go figure: This is exactly the same team that beat Brum 3-0 at St Andrews. No obvious change in formation either. Is it that little 3 syllable word they call "attitude" that's the problem again?

Truth is stranger than fiction: The Grimsby away support. Even less than what we would take if the venues were reversed. And that's saying something

Missing in action: Terry Burton. No, he wasn't there tonight, lucky sod. Perhaps he's looking for new strikers? Or a new job.

Spotted: Some scouts, and no, not the woggle variety either. Rumoured to be looking at JH, though again they probably would have been better off staying at home with a nice cup of cocoa. I wish I did.

Was it worth it?: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha.

Sorry, what was the question?

In a nutshell: WHY wasn't this game called off?

11 December 2000

Right, who fancies either Wigan or Notts County at SP on a cold January day in the FA Cup? Anyone? Anyone? Well tough shit, because that's who we've got. The kind of draw that nobody wants, we'll get a sub 4000 crowd as usual, it'll be a dire game and we'll realise just what a soul destroying place SP really is. Like we didn't know already. Hell, even I'm considering not going....

Now, some of you may have read this, but I think plenty of people haven't. Before the West Brom game, two WISA representatives met up with CK and David Barnard to discuss various things. Below is an edited (for brevity) reprint of what transpired, together with my own comments. What you will read is pretty interesting stuff (many thanx to Kris Stewart):

"Charles Koppel then explained the owners’ current intentions. He said that they are following a three-year plan, devised when Terry Burton was confirmed in his position in the summer. They believe that Terry is the right man for the job and are committed to him as manager for the duration of the three-year plan. The goal of the plan is to support Terry in building the right team to achieve promotion to the Premiership, to maintain that status and to challenge for honours. Promotion this season would be an unexpected bonus."

Nothing really out of the ordinary, nothing new anyway. The three year plan seems to be getting rid of the old shit and balance the books, then rebuild the squad. A mass cull, if you will (hey, haven't we been here sometime before?). It seems like we're in a good position insofar as the owners believe we have the right man for the job - though some would argue "well, if our owners support him then what would it be like if they didn't support him?". I think the stuff with the wages, cutting back on finances etc comes into the plan, I would be very surprised if it didn't.

"Although the club must be put on a sound financial footing, the owners have not given Terry a list of players who must be sold to achieve that"

Interesting : we know we have to cut the wage bill but we haven't actually got a "must sell" list. So in other words, TB has been given carte blanche to rid his team of who he wants. A facet of the 3YP? A show of trust?

"Another important part of the plan is the building of a new training facility on Prince George’s Playing Fields in Raynes Park. The owners purchased this land shortly after Sam Hammam sold his remaining shareholding in WFC. The club has recently submitted a planning framework document, outlining its intentions, to Merton Council. The local residents have raised a number of objections to the building of any kind of facility on the land, and there will be an inquiry in May 2001. WFC cannot begin any building works until the outcome of this inquiry is known."

So, now you know why PGPF has been lying dormant since we bought it. The timescale is not unreasonable, IIRC the David Lloyd Centre next door took a similar amount of time to get up and running. Thankfully we're now at the BoE for a while

Now onto the ground........

"The lease agreement on Selhurst Park has five years to run. The owners expect to see out the term of the lease, although there is a clause allowing WFC to leave sooner on payment of a fee.  The owners are aware of the importance of WFC’s having its own ground. There are many, well-known difficulties associated with finding a suitable site. A new ground will take three years to build once the site is identified and purchased. Finding an acceptable site will get progressively more difficult as time goes on."

So, if we reckon that it'll take 3 years to build a ground (must be a pretty good ground then, considering that the Skydome in Toronto took 3 years as well), we really have to start moving now. The last bit of the above quote intrigues me : is this a slight dig at the blatant lack of effort shown within the last 10 years? When you consider that the area around Plough Lane is mostly "new" (well, since mid-80s certainly) buildings, it makes you wonder just what the fuck we were doing at that time. Makes you bitter as well. Certainly does me.

"[It was] further suggested to Charles Koppel that, when rumours surface about WFC being linked with a new ground in, for example, Milton Keynes, what WISA would like is for a club spokesperson to state publicly that such a move will not happen. Koppel replied that the club would not make such a statement. He wanted to emphasise that the owners want WFC to be located in Merton. Should it prove impossible to find a suitable site in Merton, then the owners want WFC to be based as close as possible to Merton. Koppel then asked the question, should somewhere such as Milton Keynes prove to be the nearest possible location to build a new ground, what should the club do? This was a rhetorical question. [It was answered], by saying that any club based in Milton Keynes would simply not be WFC. Should the club complete such a move, [luck would be wished] with their business venture and do what [it] could to build a new Wimbledon Football Club, playing in Merton, in whichever lowly league would be appropriate. Koppel said that he understood this, but that we should also understand their position, as owners of the club."

Probably the most difficult question to ask ATM. On the one hand, I'm sure all but the foolish few would like the club to publically write off Milton Keynes. Unfortunately, and this may illustrate the point that a successful businessman can become a fan but a fan can't become a successful businessman, it's probably nigh on impossible to actually deny this even if there is a 0.000000000000000000001% chance of it happening. Actually, thinking about it, talk of MK could well work in "our" favour. If we take CK at his word and assume that Merton is the priority, using MK could be a good negotiating tool. Think about it, if negotiations get a bit sticky for a nearby place, then we could use the "benefits" (NOT my opinion) of MK to bargain with. Of course, we have to be careful that MK is still in the background, because as years of Hammam rule proved, the most obscure options could also be the most deadly.

Although not actually mentioned in this report, remember after the Sheffield Wednesday game this season about Gatwick being a possibility? Well, I recently found out that when this particular conversation went on, CK said "the airport (BAA) want us there". Hmm. Keep this one peeled, I don't personally have a problem with Gatwick (you can actually do it in half an hour from Morden, which is less than SP) and IMO it's an extremely viable option. But only if we can't get anywhere nearer.

"The owners realise that their communication with the fans has not been as good as it should be. They intend to use formal and informal channels, including the match programme, to correct this."

They're learning :) There hasn't seemed to be any major communication breakdowns recently, certainly not after the Dunne (aaargh, him again) fiasco (see below). Maybe, like TB after Palace, the criticisms are being heard, and more importantly being acted upon? Marketing is now being upgraded, certainly, so maybe the hoped-for changes are finally being implemented? Makes the story of BRG selling his powerboat team more significant.

"Charles Koppel [was asked] about the situation which arose earlier in the season regarding the proposed transfer of Richard Dunne. Dunne appeared ready to sign for WFC, when according to reports, Bjorn Rune Gjelsten vetoed the deal because of the level of wages wanted by Dunne, which Dunne believed he had agreed with WFC. Charles Koppel stated that the problem which was revealed by the Dunne situation was one of communication between Norway and London. Koppel, Gjelsten and Rokke take full responsibility for the breakdown in communications and they have taken measures to ensure it doesn’t happen again."

Looks like somebody's head really did roll after the Dunne deal. Though considering the fact that he's now on the Man City bench, maybe it's just as well he didn't sign for us. As said above, communication breakdown seems to be less of an issue now, certainly on the surface, though I wonder if the recent revelation that money IS tight and the wage bill has to come down is something to do with that? Maybe the fact that this didn't come out at the beginning of the season is testament to these problems. Whatever, as long as the mistakes earlier this season have been learnt and not repeated so readily, then I can tolerate the learning curve.

All in all, some interesting stuff there, probably nothing overly earth shattering, but welcome none the less. Now, about our SP form...........

9 December 2000

And for some reason, today I feel as though I got a bit of payback, albeit eventually. The marked constrast between Tuesday and Blue Nose 0 Red Nose 3 was gobsmaking - whether it was lack of carnal pleasure before the game or whether it was merely the fact that we just had to buck our ideas up I don't know (and quite frankly I don't care). All you need to know is, we defended well, we attacked well and we, er, midfielded well. Goals within the first half for Euell (two) and one goal for Damo towards the end gave us a rather comprehensive victory against a side that had won 10 out of its last 12 games. Pretty impressive. We are now only 10 points behind Watford and only 4 points behind Sheff Utd. Keep up this run and suddenly talk of playoffs may not be so far fetched....

Here we go....

Plus points: There are really too many to mention, so I'll be brief : We won. Away. No goals conceded. Good defending - I don't recall Kelvin having to make a major save. Pecker played for the full 90, his contribution was immense. Good stuff from Gier. Nobody played really badly

Minus points: John Hartson's sending off for two rather prickish tackles. He actually had a good game (by recent standards, certainly), but unfortunately he blotted his copybook somewhat.

Nightmare: Train journey from Euston to New Street. Left at 1125. At 1130 the train stopped. Transpires that the engine has blown out. No hot water, no hot snacks. To get a new engine from Euston to where the train broke down (about 3 miles) takes the grand total of 1 hour 20 minutes. Unsurprisingly, I reach St Andrews at 3.20pm. Now, you can imagine what I will be saying had we lost.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The journey above. I think I've been on shorter transpacific flights. (2) The general attitude of the players. Like two totally different teams. (3) The quietness of the Brum fans. OK, they weren't that good today, but when you consider that they were second in the table, have quite a volatile following (see below) and they're one of the top two teams in the UK's second city, you could have heard a dormouse break wind. (4) East Midlands Airport. Similar to Gatwick insofar as it's owned by BAA and has one runway. That is where the similarity ends. It also has the most uneven, non-flat runway I have ever seen.

Back to the 80s: Brum fans. Two pitch invasions were averted by some massed stewarding. Firstly, when JH was sent off, quite a few Brum fans tried to get at him. Literally. One bloke I think actually did get at him, although nice Mr Policeman sent him to bed with a clipped ear. And a baton up his arse. Secondly, when Kelvin was tackled/bludgeoned/assaulted by a Brum player, went down, was treated, got up and basically told the Brum player what he thought of him, one poor steward up the other end from us had a job keeping about 10 Brum fans from literally defending the Brum player. No wonder most Villa fans I know have very low opinion of those from St Andrews....

Back to the 80s Part II: Got off the train at New Street at 1501. Unsurprisingly, we ran through the city centre of Birmingham, chanting "South London" to let the locals know we had arrived. Late. Waited at cab rank, and there were a few coppers, one with a camcorder filming the violent hoards pouring in from South London. Well, actually they were filming me because I wasn't wearing any colours and looked like a Millwall Bushwhacker. So I will write to West Midlands police asking if I could have a copy of the tape. And suggest that if they use it to incriminate me, they can give me head (applies to attractive female officers only).

Quotes: (1) "This is like the 80s all over again isn't it?" - un-named Womble during the aforementioned incident through Birmingham City Centre. What - arriving late? (2) "They're like Burnley, they think that they have a divine right to win everything" - another un-named Womble, on why Brum fans acted like they were on speed. (3) "Do you reckon he's played his last game for us?" - same un-named Womble on JH after the sending off. For the record, I think this today may well be the final straw as far as JH is concerned.

I know it's sexist and degrading, but I don't give a fuck: Loads of nice looking blonde models on the train coming back from Brum International. Was the cause of many a stunted conversation within our train carriage. Oh come on, do you really think I'm a trappist monk?

Smmmmmmmmillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeee: The somewhat hurredly and subsequently blurry picture to your right is former deputy chairman, building magnate and WFC director one Mr John Lelliott, who when not building a better London with Bovis is seen relaxing with a nice glass of whisky and Canada Dry. When you consider that directors are supposed to be aloof from the ordinary working class supporters, it's reassuring to know that even directors after a good performance can get totally rat-arsed, slumber in their chair and let web site owners with low moral standing and perverted sexual practices to photograph them engaged in deep alcoholic induced rest. Mr Lelliott, we salute you (and if you want this picture removed, it'll cost you a minimum £1m quid. Tax free)

Was it worth it?: Given the fact that I have had a rather shitty 24 hours, I get the feeling that this was owed to me somewhat. Hey, I haven't had entire payback for last season yet guys....

Two final things : one, there was a meeting last week between WISA representatives and CK/David Barnard. I will publish the juicy stuff from the meeting sometime. Secondly, Kingstonian are through to the third round of the FA Cup, draw tomorrow. Be afraid. Be very afraid.....

5 December 2000

You may have to excuse me at the minute, because I'm not too sure about how I'm going to approach Squatters 3 Tenants 1. At the moment, I am currently suffering a lethal cocktail of embarrasment, anger, bewilderment, disgust and betrayal. Embarrassment, because the way we played so well in the first half and then go to Capitulation City for the second time in a week (this must have been one of the worst fuck-ups in a half I have seen WFC do for a long, long time). Anger, because of the way that certain players yet again just do not deserve to pick up our wages. You know who I mean, more and more people tonight were expressing similar sentiments. Bewilderment, because of the polarisation of the two halves - believe me, had we played the way we did in the first half for the whole 90 then I would have been waxing lyrical about yet another win in the away column.

The final feeling I have is one of betrayal. Puzzled? Let me explain. Now, TB mentioned in his program notes last Saturday that he wanted some more noise from us, because it helps the team. So, we gave tonight the most noise for a while and what happens? You guessed it, they fuck up again. Just like we gave them noise at QPR and they fuck up. Just like we (apparently) got behind them at Man City, and at Soton last year, and at the Villa game at SP last year and.... yeah, you get the idea. My sense of betrayal is shaped by the fact that no matter what we (the fans) do, how much encouragement we give, it clearly doesn't matter in many cases. The excuses (and that's what they are, excuses. Nothing more) that we're not winning because of lack of atmosphere, or because we're playing at SP has worn dangerously thin IMO, and skates around the real issue : attitude. Last season, I mentioned that too many players had the wrong attitude. This season is starting to go the same way. There were certain players out there on the field today, even in the first half (again, I won't afford them a name check, you'll know who I mean) who were swanning about. Quite frankly, I don't want to see the guilty parties playing in WFC shirts again. Ever. It's no wonder we're playing badly when we're carrying passengers. Instead of it being 11 vs 11, it's often a case of 11 vs 8, with us having the shortfall. And that is what hurts most of all. I am sick of certain elements within the club constantly taking the piss, I am sick of certain elements within the club holding back our progress which TB clearly wants to do, I am sick of certain elements feeling like they have a divine right to do what the fuck they want. I want them out. I don't want them turning up at the training ground tomorrow, even if it means that the Rose and Crown doesn't get 10% of its daily takings. I'm not even fussed whether they're replaced or not, it's not as though you can say we're vastly weakened when they're gone (we only looked capable of drawing back at 3-1 down after we made substitutions, hell I was really glad that Euell came on). I'm pissed off, and if the culling part #2 starts tomorrow, I'm down the Bank Of England with my shotgun.

And no, I don't know why Trond went off either.

2 December 2000

Yes, SW19's ARMY is back from various business ventures in the USA, and is ready to get on with life again. You may notice that the archive is still dormant, I still have a couple of months to put up, this will be done when I am slightly more compus menti. Believe me, doing a 9000 mile round trip and reporting on a match the same day you come back is not good for your mental health :)

Speaking of mental health, explain Bagged 0 Baggies 1 to me. How the fuck can we play so well away from SP yet when we play at the Toilet Bowl we always seem to do absolute cack? In a nutshell, we played pretty OK first half, then we seemed to lose our way in the second, and when they scored we practically lost any ounce of skill we had left. Shades of last season? The goal practically killed us, it was soft - so soft that Andrex were thinking of using it for their new line of toilet rolls ("New Andrex WFC softness - will mop up any kind of shit"), and then we just gave up. Interesting to gauge the crowd reaction at various stages : cheers for Angryman seemed to die down a lot when he actually came on. The Gayle substitution was somewhat symbolic - is he on his way out? Funny that he thought that the rapturous round of applause he got was for his effort on the field. Shame for him it was more relief than anything. However, and I can only report on what I saw and heard around me, people are really starting to get pissed off with JH. I think the discovery that his wage bill is close to £1m a year, and when he still looks short on pace even now (especially the incident towards the end where he had a 2 yard head start on a loose ball and the WBA goalie still beat him to it) and isn't appearing to fire up the players, well, it's understandable why people are making him a scapegoat. I can't recall the last time I actually heard "What A Load Of Rubbish" after a game, but I don't blame anyone for singing it.

Anyway, shall we?

Plus points: The younger players, ie Gier, Hawkins, Pecker and even Williams looked up for it at least. Trond didn't look bad. The full time whistle.

Minus points: Capitulation City (which is just down the freeway from Apathy Heights) after the West Brom goal. Too many other things to mention, so you'll have to fill it in yourself.

Look, I'm not really going to bother doing "Where to improve" in future: I've said it virtually every week now - we look about half a yard off the pace, today was painfully obvious. Serious questions must be asked whether we actually HAVE a fitness coach. If we do, where did he get his qualification? Oxford, TX?

Quotes: (1) "Bet you're glad you came all the way over to watch this aren't you?" - un-named Womble to me. No, I'm not. Really. (2) "Due to unforseen circumstances, the referee has decided to call the match off" - the PA on the safety drill (see below) at the end of the game. If only......

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The safety drill at the end of the game for the Lower Holmesdale. I didn't know that SP had a safety certificate, a legal one certainly. How can blocking off most major exits and the public conveniences be safe? Hope there is never a legit incident there, the whole place could be shut down. (2) I still can't recall the last time "What A Load Of Rubbish" was chanted very loudly to our team.

Want some grass man? You're on plenty of it : There is supposedly an illegal narcotic that is meant to totally fuck your self control up. Can't remember whether it's supposed to be speed, ecstacy or crack, but whatever it is, Jason Roberts certainly took a load of it. If he was a farmyard animal, he would have been put down under the BSE act.

Spotted : John Harley at the players bar after the game.

Scary : Kelvin's kicking. Alan Kimble Mk II

In a nutshell : Shite. Shite. And thrice shite.