NEWS

NOTE: Unless there are substantial sums of money involved, I do not give permission for other clubs to use my match reports in their match day programmes. Use your own bloody material

30 April 2008 [MIDNIGHT EDITION]

It's OK, you can relax now for a couple of days at least.

Jesuz christ - Anglian 3 Coldseal 1. Football isn't good for you really. You're supposed to get massive soothing enjoyment out of it, not put on about 20 years of your life in one evening. It reminds me of something Tony Cascarino said about goalscoring - scoring goals was more like masturbation than having a shag, because it's more a relief than pleasure. And right now, plenty of us are tossing themselves sore.

Be honest, we feared the worst before the game. And I think I feared the worst when we were pulled back to 2-1. But I'm going to let it out a bit tonight, I can't keep it in for another four days. That was immense. Actually, that was fucking immense. Did we have enough attacking prowess? No. Did I think we defended just a tad too much for my blood pressure's liking? Yes. But does it now matter? Of course not.

I'm not going to get carried away, because we have it all to do again Saturday, at Staines. Maybe our end of season "form" could have worked against us, and we could have had this at KM, but I think now it becomes academic. If we adopt the same attitude on Saturday that we did tonight, then Staines will have to put on their performance of the season against us - regardless of whether they're at home or not.

For one of far too few times this season, I saw an AFCW that just wasn't going to be defeated. It was a team that I honestly think had a point to prove - not only to us, and our management/staff, but themselves. There was plenty of "come on" type clapping at various points of the game, and not just through JG either. Maybe, just maybe, the players realised tonight just what they could still have and how easy it could be to lose it through their own carelessness.

And carelessness is the expression that I would use to describe this season. Even now, I still don't believe anyone in the RP is unbeatable, home or away (and I do include Chelmsford in that). Tonight, we actually concentrated for the 94 minutes, and bar that one little lapse we came away with what we wanted because of it. That's what I wanted to see tonight, and that's what I want to see Saturday.

See, we can do it. Tonight was difficult - there's no pretending otherwise that when it was 2-1 it was shitting pants time. Coldseal certainly wanted it, as I would have expected in such a pressure game, and at other times of the season we would have gone away tonight with a point at most. But we didn't, and for once we really did show balls of stainless steel. The first half was something else, although I think the second half we maybe thought we had it in the bag by then. But if you want to put tonight into perspective, look at our third goal. It came from the other end, where both Luke G and Pullen had to combine to make one helluva last ditch challenge. The ball broke to Fergie, he got it up to Main who basically proved why we paid £30m for him. Games where you win about 4-0 are great to be at, they're lovely to brag about and easy to watch again on telly. But these sort of games, and how you handle them, are what get you into the playoff finals.

Let's be honest, anyone expecting another 5-2 gubbing on Saturday should stay away. I'm under no illusions whatsoever that Saturday will be THE most difficult match of the season. It will be tense, nervous, any astray pass will be treated with plenty of wind passing, and that's just your editor. I will warn you now, especially after tonight's euphoria - it can still go badly wrong on Saturday : any complacency, any belief that we've got it made will be cruelly exposed, and defeat on Saturday is going to fucking well hurt. It really will be shit or bust, and the old adage of the 94th minute goal off your defender's arse remains truer than ever.

We are only 50% there, although to be fair to people I think the vast majority of us know that. People were jubilant for certain, but not getting carried away. And I do honestly hope our team know that as well - the reaction afterwards was one of relief and job done rather than running up to the TE, throwing their shirts into the crowd and a jig of "We are going up". After tonight, it would be the cruellest of cruelty to suddenly have yet another one of our fuckups. If we do what we did tonight, but succumbed to an 89th minute own goal, it will hurt and hurt big time. But you could at least be proud of them for the way they went about that game. To suddenly fall apart really will be unforgivable, especially after tonight

While us non-STed people work out how exactly we're going to get into Staines on Saturday, feel free to read on....

Plus points: We won. First ever playoff victory in AFCW history. Everyone fighting for it. Jon Main. Marcus Gayle. JG. Playing like they really, really wanted it. Crowd getting behind them. Actually quite a professional performance. Proof that we really can win in the high pressure games.

Minus points: Bit between Coldseal scoring and Jon Main netting. Long-term effect on my ticker.

The referee's a.......: Bit of an arsehole this one, didn't really want to give us much especially in the second half. True, he was no Ron Ganfield but even so, we had to be just that little bit extra wary.....

Them: Almost felt sorry for them at the end. I said "almost". To be fair to them, they battled hard enough but I'm not sure if they quite had that necessary quality. Anyone know what went on between their section and the WB just before the break? They didn't half seem agitated, although one of our lot was led away by nice Mr Policeman.

Point to ponder: Do you think that tonight being a fucking difficult game will help us for Saturday? Had we'd pissed all over them 5-0, we would have taken on that cocky air of arrogance and expectancy that has proven to be our undoing. Tonight, we were made aware that we're going to have to perform like fuck all over again for the second time in a week. The good news is that we can do it. The bad news is that this is AFCW we're talking about.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Was that Karl Beckford on the subs bench? Maybe he will be back next season? (2) Speaking of subs, I think this must be the first time this season we haven't put anyone on. Suppose that can only be a good thing. (3) TE closed just before the game. (4) The performance of Fatman Scoop's AFCW mix before the second half started. I'm not really into that sort of stuff, but there is a bit of a middle finger about it all...

Anything else? For the first time in a while, the whole of the WB was given over to our fans, and I've got to say it worked quite well. There was definitely a bit of old skool about tonight, and quite possibly it's down to that. The segregation may need fine tuning, but if anyone at AFCW reads this, let's keep that arrangement for next season. I was in the WB end and there was a real intensity that I think helped carried us through (for once). We actually created an advantage for ourselves at home, and we won. QED?

So, was it worth it? Shame it wasn't the final

In a nutshell: Just one more 90 minutes..........

28 April 2008

Yes I'm back. For those wondering, it finished Lokomotive Leipzig 2 Dynamo Dresden 1 by the way, there were about 40 police wagons for about 100 Dynamo fans. And the ones I saw, well, let's just say that I'm not hard but I reckon I could beat up most of them....

OK, I was going to write an article on the game, why Lok are doing what we should be doing (a cursory glance at their programme suggests that they have no less than seventy companies who provide much needed Euros to them), but I, er didn't. I also won't tell you that a couple of locals thought I was Russian. But what I will tell you is that Lok had been playing shitty recently, kind of grinding out results but not too convincingly. They went 1-0 down and almost rivalled us for shitness, but they came back in the second half with two goals in two minutes, and suddenly looked like a team possesed again.

And if Saxony's team in blau-gelb can do it, maybe South London's equivalent can as well?

Actually, it's all a nice distraction for the legitimate Biggest Week of the Season. By the sound of it, I think I did the right thing giving AFC Coldseal a wide berth. Seems like half the players did anyway, and if it wasn't for this week's matches it would have been the less-than-ideal end of season snoozefest we used to have in the WFC days. Remember them? Sadly, I still do.

But so to the playoffs. Be honest, nobody is that confident are they? While we're hopeful, and we know we can do it, we're living in not a little fear as to what AFCW will turn up this week. Will it be good AFCW or evil AFCW? The truth is, we really don't know. That's what makes playoffs great if you're a neutral observer and absolutely pant-cacking if you're not. All that hard work, all that effort, all that stuff you did throughout the whole season really could be ended with a 90th minute deflection off your defender's arse. There's a very good argument for having these playoffs as two-legged (even though I fully understand the financial/squad implications involved), but ultimately this is the cruellest, winner take all game(s). Work hard in the season and you still need just that extra bit of good fortune...

It's for this reason that I've got a mixture of outright trepidation and maybe misplaced confidence. We haven't played well recently. We haven't really done ourselves justice in the league. We have rolled over and died over keeping second spot. We have definitely underachieved this season, we haven't really shown the consistency we need. But will it ultimately matter? The reason we're so fearful is the same reason why we're so hopeful as well. Think about it - what will hurt more? Us losing with the recent "form" we've shown recently? Or us losing when we've been on a good run-in to the playoffs?

Defeat tomorrow would suck, and would probably hurt more than even the last two years, but it's nothing we haven't experienced before. We'll dust ourselves down and plan for the more yoof-oriented approach next season. But just imagine us finishing on a high and then doing our usual fuckup tomorrow. Or, worse, on Saturday. That could be a near-fatal bodyblow. If that was to happen it would say to us that no matter what we do, or how well we play, or no matter what winning runs we put on, it's a roadblock. And a mental one at that. It's almost saying we'll never progress, and fuck only knows how morale would plummet.

Yet AFCW right now is a strange one. Perhaps our form recently has quelled some of the usual excitement we normally get before our usual fuckup a big game. I think we were a little bit pessimistic going into the first game against Fi$her, but last season I really do think people believed we could progress. Even when in hindsight the team/manager was falling apart at the seams we believed we could do it. This time, there's an air of resignation, almost expecting the inevitable...

You know and I know that we're capable of putting in a barmstormer which I genuinely believe can blow everyone away. Though tomorrow I'd take a scrappy 1-0 win if I was offered it. This season has given us Leyton, Boreham Wood, ETU, Harlow Town and the pre-Torquay slump to give us nightmares. Yet almost forgotten in this oilspill of gloom, this season has also given us Ramsgutter first game of the season, Staines away, Horsham away, Ashford Town away, Hendon home (for the most part anyway), the seven game unbeaten run or the five consecutive league victories, and doubtless a couple of others that have slipped my mind.

It's almost impossible to predict - actually, scrub that : it IS impossible to predict. So I think it's just really a case doing of whatever praying ritual you're into, be it a confessional with your local priest, a quick natter with the rabbi, a quiet word in silence in bed at night, or drinking the spurting blood of freshly slain oxon in a darkened room with a Deicide live album playing in the background (otherwise known as a normal night for your editor). Personally, I don't believe in god or any of that bollocks, but for once being spiritual won't hurt. Hell, you're just as likely to predict the result tomorrow with an ouija board as a form guide.

Every year, when any sort of playoff comes around, the same points are made : league form counts for jack shit. From now on, if you're lucky, it's just two cup finals. It doesn't matter if you win ugly, as long as you do so. I'm sure some bright spark has analysed all the playoff winners from the last 20 odd years and worked out which ones didn't have the best run-ins. It's not something we should rely on, of course, but if anything that's just released some of the tension. The team in the worst position tomorrow won't be us, but Staines. They've basically got to keep their good run going against a side (Ramsgutter) who as we know ourselves are right bastards. As we know ourselves, winning runs can and do end. We're not on a winning run.....

OK, it's hope, and some kind of inbuilt protection against how shit we've been recently. But we need a lot of that right now. And I think we need to show a bit of hope tomorrow at the ground, although more than a "bit" would help. I've certainly noticed a lot of tetchyness at AFCW recently, and I've got to be honest that games at KM have really been unpleasant recently (and not just because of the results). There's a new bit of segregation which in theory should work in our favour (stop laughing), so we can get a bit of atmosphere going (I said, stop laughing). KM is quite simply too damn accomodating for away teams, it's as though we stand on a street corner sticking our arse out and offering whatever you want for £50. If we're going to get fucked from behind tomorrow, let's at least give Coldseal a dubious itch that will cause much grief at the STD clinic....

Anyway, I've said my bit, it's time for the players to do theirs. I'm not WDONing tomorrow (at least, I hope the email I sent arrived) so I can swear for once. But by fuck everyone, just remember how many times we've said we want to get out of the Ryman Premier. Tomorrow is the first big chance to prove we mean it. I want to see us bust a bollock or two (whether our own or not is irrelevant), I want to see us put in a performance that makes everyone proud to be a Womble. And I want to see the good AFCW, the one I've seen far too few times this season.

Of course, if we play shit and go 3-0 down after 10 minutes, I'll probably fuck off to the bar and stay there. And will avoid all sharp objects afterwards......

19 April 2008

Sorry, I just don't know whether to laugh or cry at the moment. I mean, Turkeys 1 Hawks 2?

I think I'm speechless. No, really I am. This was just, well, wrong. After the euphoria of Wembley came a performance that was all too reminiscent of those nightmare games at Leyton and Boreham Wood. Back then the squad was unsettled and not kicking into life. Today was..... well, OK, point taken.

Seriously, I don't just know what to say. What do you want me to say? That we were fucking shit, everyone was a bunch of cunts and the sooner the entire AFCW setup resigns and fucks off to MK the better? I could do. I suppose I could also take the other approach and suggest that at least we had that sort of game now rather than a week on Tuesday.

In truth, my thoughts are somewhere sitting uneasily in the middle. I've been angry before, I've even been serene after losses, but I just can't remember the last time I was stunned like I am now. It's not a case of, we absolutely mullered them but they broke away in the 93rd minute with the luckiest, most undeserved goal in the entire history of the world. It was just how quickly a squad can suddenly turn in two different games in just seven days.

OK, we woke up in the second half, and their goalie deserved MoM all by himself. I think I made the comment "it's one of those days" by about 3.17pm. Even our goal came about after we'd hit the bar. Everything that went right against Ashford went wrong today. To concede a goal in the opening minute is sloppy. To go 2-0 down is shocking. To not even look like coming back is outright scandalous.

Before I go on, I want to address why I didn't write up Wembley. No, I didn't think my attempts at ticket touting would have made an interesting enough story, and if truth be told I lost my notes anyway. But towards Wednesday of this week, I felt anti-climatic and a bit low after that weekend. I wasn't the only one feeling that either. And I think that's why we lost today. We were due a major, major fall after strutting round last weekend about how wonderful we are. Planet earth, meet AFC Wimbledon. Don't think you meet too often. If the first minute didn't wake us up then nothing did.

But I suppose we saw it coming. Be honest, were you really up for today? I know I wasn't. In fact, I had a very, very odd feeling about the whole thing. I suppose there was a bit of Lord Mayor's Show about it. Nobody could really pass the ball that well, nobody got going sufficiently enough, etc etc. Maybe we knew about it but didn't want it to happen? Maybe we just blocked it out of our mind, and just concentrated on the memories of Wembley? Suddenly, today starts to make sense, even if it's particularly unpaletable.

I've become more scared of the playoffs than I was before. At the back of my mind last week, I was concerned that the evil AFCW would turn up. The evil AFCW is the lazy bastards, the ones that just don't click. The surly AFCW, the AFCW that decides it can't be bothered. Or strops when things don't go 100% its way. The AFCW I saw today was the evil AFCW, popping its poisonous little head up and stinking the place out by shitting on your carpet.

I wanted to see the good AFCW today. The swashbuckling AFCW that really would murder any team. Last week at Ashford, we saw the good AFCW. We haven't seen much of the good AFCW this season. Sure, we see it in glimpses, like last week, the second half vs Billy Rickay and even second half at places like Wealdstone. I'm scared because after games like this, I don't believe the good AFCW exists. I'm sure those rampant games are just a figment of my imagination. Or if it does, it's been locked in a secret cupboard somewhere while evil AFCW runs amock.

If you're feeling positive, you're probably saying that this is the last we'll see of evil AFCW this season. Surely it can't ruin our summer by turning up unannounced and letting Karl "Uncle Urchin" Williams wipe his cock over us. Good AFCW puts us in a decent mood for that week, evil AFCW makes us question everything and everyone to the nth degree. Good AFCW will be the ones to carry us through the playoffs to the Conference South. Evil AFCW will ruin our summer.

I'm not sure if I want to write much more TBH. All I'll say is this : we have one game to piss about in, then it's time to get serious. I'm not in the mood to put up with evil AFCW any longer, and by the sounds of it neither is anyone else............

Plus points: Getting the theme tune to Weekend World played just before the second half.

Minus points: 3pm to 4.50pm today. Crossing shit.

The referee's a......: Christ, he didn't like us did he?

Them: Fair play to them, they wanted it and got it. Certainly the Harlow bods in front of us looked very relieved to get those three points. Their goalkeeper effectively kept them in it, and sometimes there ain't nothing you can do. I just hope that's the last decent goalkeeping display we have to put up with this season. As for the rest, they seemed a nice bunch of people, more of their fans turned up than I thought would, and seemed quite vocal without being cocks about it. Shame they had to bring a bloody drum...

Point to ponder: If I've been waxing lyrical about good AFCW vs evil AFCW, wonder what the Staines/Coldseal equivalent is right now? I'm going to put my head on the line - the team we should fear in the playoffs that isn't called AFCW is whoever finishes fifth. It could be anyone from Hendon (hmm), Ramsgutter (gulp), Tonbridge Angels (can we throw away another two goal lead?) and Ashford. And I wonder if they'll now roll over for Chelmsford like their manager allegedly promised us earlier this season?

Meet the manager: Here's the latest MP3 of his post-match interview. Got to say, I'm pretty concerned that he still hasn't found his favoured XI, but then again, he does point out that whenever he thinks he's found the answer the players go and fuck up in the next game. Maybe he's banking on evil AFCW getting delayed by traffic for the playoffs as well. Dunno why Lewis Christon was rested today TBH, but as the return of Mickey Haswell has shown, putting in "favoured" players doesn't always have the desired effect. Maybe we will just be giving certain players a runout next week just in case. IYSWIM....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The TV gantry. Looks like the Plough Lane one, bar the vertical ladder. (2) A certain election candidate canvassing again on KM grounds. And again, the question gets asked. Is AFCW endorsing this, even by implication? Would a non-"named" AFCW fan who may represent the BNP (who hold quite similar views to Respect/Left List in many instances) be allowed to canvass even in the bars? Let alone get free publicity in WUP? What I do know is that a lot of people around me were pissed off by this - any negative fallout over this is clearly the club's own doing. (3) Was this really the last regular season game at KM this season?

Anything else? Yeah. There's something symbolic about the ticket arrangements for the playoff semis. Basically, they went on sale. Then they didn't. Then they did. Eventually they weren't but those who did buy tickets could get a refund if we aren't at home after all. Cue many pissed off people. And it does seem to sum up AFCW generally right now - inefficient and in places quite shambolic. You either sell them or you don't - want to sell them today? Fine, go ahead and sell them, and accept responsibility for any fallout if we're suddenly away. Don't want to tempt fate? Simple - make the decision to force people to either phone up or come down to KM on a separate day once it's confirmed. It'll inconvenience some, but at least it's "fair". Don't keep making last minute decisions that leave everyone confused and wondering just what the hell they've bought.

After the tix fiasco at Wembley last week, it proves something I've felt for some time - the communications at AFCW leaves something to be desired. Actually, scrub that - it's pathetic. For a club that likes to show how professional it is to the outside world, it hasn't half been making a pigs ear of things recently. We all know that the OS basically exists to flog KM Live (actual news items relating to AFCW seem to go in spurts). It failed to get any sort of clarification over Wembley, even the Player of the Year presentation seemed a little bit haphazard in its organisation. I know we have volunteers and they all work very hard etc, but seriously AFCW - get a fucking grip. We have looked distinctly amateurish recently, and ordinary AFCW fans are having their patience tested. Try putting emphasis on working smarter rather than harder......

So, was it worth it? No.

In a nutshell: Here we go again....

And finally: Thankfully, this is my last regular season match. Next weekend, I will be here, watching the return fixture of this. I'm right hard, me. Therefore, while I'll be back for the playoffs, I'm going to require somebody who's off to Coldseal to do me a match report. Please? I may even give you a special present of a burnt out firework.

12 April 2008

Remember when you were a kid there were always situations your parents used to worry about? No, I don't mean when the kindly yet strange bloke nearby kept offering you sweeties providing you kept it a little secret. I mean whenever there was a big occasion coming and you used to play up? Well, I'm sure you were all well behaved juveniles, but there was always a nervousness that you would go to your aunts for a nice occasion and subsequently shit your pants or throw up in her company. And then stand over your "work" whilst sniggering away, as your blushing parents shouted blue murder at you

OK, certain people would argue I haven't changed much in over 30 years, but I really had that feeling today. With Wembley on the horizon, surely we'd do our usual of underperforming. Surely, surely, we'd let everyone down again in the league in letting ourselves get distracted by a glorified friendly. Surely, surely, surely?

True to form, it finished Terminal Five 1 Morden Depot 4. And so much for that theory.

Actually, I'm not sure whether it's the more plausible belief that we play better whenever we're not expected to do well coming into play, but I'm having a job thinking of something that was wrong today. We scored 4 goals - and Shroot got a hat-trick - in pretty lousy conditions. We defended well, we went up the gear when needed, and for one of the all-too-few times this season we did look like a team justified in being in second place.

The game first. We started off well, nearly scored then did score. They went up the other end, just after about 2 minutes, and netted. Cue much rolling of eyes, shrugging of shoulders and huffing of "here we sodding well go again". We kept a foothold, but the game got a bit scrappy. Suddenly Shroot went on a run, and unleashed a 35 yarder that the keeper just did not see. To quote, "Dare I say that was Ursell-esque?". I'm saying nothing. It didn't quite kill the game off then, but you felt that Ashford kind of had the stuffing knocked out of them after that.

And when the second half arrived, it was basically more of the same. I don't think Pullen had that much to do, anyway. Our forward line was though. It wasn't really a surprise when Shroot netted his hat-trick, and it was certainly deserved. And then Rose netted and that really was that.

So, what? Well, it's nice that we're going into the playoffs with a bit more confidence than a couple of weeks ago. We have two regular season games left now (and is it really down to that wire already?) and it's not impossible for us to remain unbeaten now. I think our record for consecutive wins is about six this season, so if we equal that, we're up. Actually, we could afford to drop points in the next two games anyway, as long as we continue to play to what we can do. Even getting in third (should Staines overtake us) won't faze me. There's a caveat in all of this, and when you read on you'll twig immediately what it is.

I'm trying hard not to get carried away here, but every so often I do think "yeah, I think we can go up". Today, Staines away and Horsham away were the three best performances of the season, and every time I've gone away from those games I've said those exact words to myself. This team can do it. Today was a potential banana skin, one of those ones where you maybe wouldn't be surprised had we lost, and the result today speaks for itself.

This does explain why I get so fucking angry when we do play poorly (and especially when we lose). If we're not good enough I accept it. But it's when you get an ETU, or Boreham Wood, or even Horsham at KM, and then you compare it to today's pretty good performance, I'm surprised that I'm as calm as I am when it happens. We are not shit - today proved it.

No, I can't be churlish about today, I don't want to be, and yes - we have justified our trip to Wembley tomorrow. I can't deny I would have preferred it at the end of the season, and I certainly would swap it for promotion, but it's going to be a good day out for a lot of people. Hell, even I might pop along now, I don't feel I'm having the piss taken out of me so much this evening...

Plus points: We won. Away. Quite convincingly in the end. Shroot finally justifying the hype. Defence looks a bit more solid. Knowing we have players to return from injury.

Minus points: Their goal. The weather.

The referee's a......: Seemed to enjoy giving Ashford plenty of free kicks for no obvious reason. Maybe he had a spread bet on how many he could award.

Them: What was it, they've won 10 out of their 11 home games, really on fire recently and we made them look that ordinary? Looks like it. Even their goal was offside so that doesn't really count. Nice to see their goalie having some, ahem, "banter" with our fans in the first half. Shame he went off injured in the second, but it can and does happen. Curse of the Wombles, I believe it's called. Nice enough setup, they seem better organised than many places. And is there anything more romantic in football than the Kerosene Storage Tanks End? One day somebody is going to shoot wildly and the ball will puncture one of them. Oh, and if we do play there next season, do you think they'll finally get a PA mike that works?

Point to ponder: Doesn't this just prove the theory that the team we should fear most of all in the playoffs is ourselves? The AFCW seen today, and for too few times this season, would and should still be snapping away at Chelmsford's heels this season. We all know why we're apprehensive going into them, and even after today there's no reason to think otherwise. But really, doesn't a professional performance like this make the almost expected fuckup just even more galling to swallow?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Sight of TB five minutes before the game walking on his own to the dugouts. Entschuldigung Sie bitte, aber warum? (2) The weather. Sun/rain/hail/sun/rain/sun/hail/rain/sun/rain. Might have missed out another bit of rain inbetween sun and hail, but you get the idea. If this is April showers I'd hate to see what a full-on thunderstorm is. (3) Anyone else think that Ramone Rose wasn't going to be with us any longer? As much as I support having the likes of him and the Cue learning their trade with us (especially when they're that effective as well), it doesn't half get confusing. Not to mention opening up opportunities for the occasional conspiracy theorist to strike.

Anything else? Not really if truth be told. I suppose the only thing that could count as a bummer was Franchise getting promoted today. What - they didn't? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Sadly, it's only really delaying their inevitable rise, but just imagine if they really did right royally fuck it up. I mean, fall out of automatic promotion and then fuck up in the playoffs. We'd love it if it happened, but if it didn't and they do go up, remember this : they took a league place in the Championship and are now in the bottom tier of professional English football. No matter what they do, they blew their golden opportunity.......

So, was it worth it? Yes, if only to see the planes take off.

In a nutshell: Wemberley, Wemberley.....

5 April 2008

No notes taken, half the time my headphones in the WDON battery hen compartment commentary box didn't work so I really couldn't work out what was being said (for those who thought I was shit in there today - apologies), and a really strange (ie shit) first half hour.

But hey, it finished Suburb of London 2 Suburb of Chelmsford 1 and I really don't give a flying fuck what anyone says right now :)

Seriously, with everything that has been written this past week and beyond (including on here), by about 3.30pm today I was fearing the worst. Not just for the game but for the season. I mean, lose it today, with the shite that's been going on around recently, and I really did shudder to think how this season was going to end. Certainly play off semi-final defeat was inevitable, and compound that with Franchise bound to get promotion all mental health physicians in the SW London region were about to be put on full alert.

People may say that MG's goal was the turning point of the game, and that's not an unfair assumption to make. But actually, it was Pullen's save soon after the Rickay goal that defined today. Think about it - had it gone in, we would have collapsed. More to the point, that would have ended our season right there - want to know why? Simple - with all the changes this week, with all the last minute change of emphasis, to have gone behind like that again would have been too much to take.

And let's face it, this past couple of weeks has seen a fair amount of bloodletting. We usually tend to navel gaze after a poor defeat, and the recent period has seen it more than we have done for the past couple of years. But after Pullen's save, we got back into the game a bit more, maybe should have done better with a couple of chances and started to show a bit of, you know, confidence. Don't tell me we would have done that if it was 2-0.

The rest of the match is history. As we all know, a damn good save was forced straight before MG's goal, Nic McD looked like how we want Danny Webb to be like, and there's nowt better than a last minute goal. Especially one when you feel our rampant attacking had petered out and there was that slight back-of-mind niggle we were going to let it slip late on. Seriously, if the Main Stand showed signs of an OAP trying his first viagra, god knows what it was like behind the goal. Even the John Smiths Stand almost stopped berating everyone in sight and smelling of piss for one moment. I said almost.

So, what caused the seven-day turnaround? Well, after last week, everyone needed a well aimed foot in the anal passage region and maybe, just maybe, things got through today. Although I'm more inclined to believe that the new signings made a difference. We looked a lot, lot fresher today. Maybe it was the new attitude shown by the likes of Buchanan, McD, Christon and even the return of the Cue that has changed opinions in a mere seven days? We all knew we couldn't continue as we were.....

If there's some doubt that such a major influx at this late stage was a good thing, just look at peoples' collective mood tonight. Suddenly, we can win in the playoffs after all. Strange how it so compared to last week. Guess that's football for you - there must be some established players right now thinking "hang on, they've managed to win without me". Nobody in football is irreplacable, and I think we've just proved it.

Should that demotivate the drifters, so be it. They'll be out on their ear come the summer if so. Right now, our squad is fighting for the opportunity to wear the AFCW shirt next season. While we're going to lose the Cue, Rose and MG anyway, the rest are getting told to stake their claim. Today, they proved they deserve new contracts. And that's all we want - if we're shit, at least work your nads off. But we're not shit, in fact we never have been shit in talent. It's just our attitude that has stunk like a 10 day old turd doused liberally in the Berrylands sewerage works. Just think if we'd applied this attitude throughout the whole of the season..........

While you think about that, here's...

Plus points: We won. At KM for once. RS's last minute goal. New boys fitting in well. Notable change in approach/attitude. Defence got better as the game progressed.

Minus points: First 30 minutes.

The referee's a......: Well, I thought he was all right meself.

Them: Lovely lot aren't they? Gave it the predictable MK shit and basically sounded like a bunch of drunk chavs in a Magaluf night club. And that was just the players. Weren't they the same mob who claimed last season they were going to field 16 ineligible players from now on simply because we managed to overturn a rather stupid rule? How conveniently they forgot to do that..... Actually, they seemed a decent footballing side, although it's always nice to outplay these sort of sides ;)

Meet the Manager: One good thing about being in the press box in a game is getting to interview managers. If I'm still allowed to do WDON this may become a regular feature - here's what TB said after the game (WAV file). Wonder who asked him the question about Ramone Rose?

Impressions? Well, firstly I got the impression TB thought this sort of performance should be standard practice, and not one to be celebrated from the rooftops. It's good to know that they at least appreciate what the supporters have had to put up with recently (haven't bothered checking the form guide, but is this really our worst run this season? Good time to have it, I don't think).

I did like the fact he described us as "patient". Obviously doesn't hear what goes on in the stands or on t'internet. You can hear the rest for yourself, but I do get the feeling TB knows where the right direction is. Maybe he's now getting the players to agree where it is as well...

Point to ponder: Apart from wondering why we haven't done this all season long? Just really a case of, can we keep it up until 5pm on the 3rd May 2008? Also, was it me or once it settled down, our defence looked more solid than it has at any time this season? Even MG didn't look like a 100 year old man after 5 minutes. All I ask is that we just keep it up, especially for the final two games of the season....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Your editor getting interviewed for five minutes by Nuts TV because - seriously - they thought I was good value last time. They're not that desperate, surely? (2) The weather. Cold. Sunny. Wet. Sunny. Still cold. All in about 30 minutes. Global warming, eh? (3) Actually having a squad today that looked like they gave a shit. (4) Tintin Haydon trying to shake the hand of a pissed off Rickay player right at the end and getting told to fuck off. Not too sure what's worse : losing in the last minute or getting stalked by a giant bit of cloth afterwards.

Anything else? Yup - we will have a yellow away kit next season. Thankfully, good taste prevailed and we have been spared the wanky pink outfit. Seriously, there's a reason why no club keeps a pink kit for long : it's because it's a horrible colour for a football shirt. Blue works as a football colour. So does red. Some teams have yellow. Others may employ claret. A few awkward bastards have stripes because they can't make their mind up. But you never see a brown shirt. Or a grey shirt. Certainly not a black shirt. And definitely, definitely not a pink.

Yeah yeah, Palermo wear pink. Difference is, they're hard as fuck Italians and you wouldn't dare call them out over it. We're AFCW and if we wore pink we'd make it look camper than Graham Norton and Larry Grayson at a Mardi Gras parade in San Francisco. And no, real men don't wear pink. Those who claim otherwise are either those fucking annoying "professionally queer" types or splitarses.......

So, was it worth it? Yeah, probably.

In a nutshell: Is it too much to ask for this to be a bit more typical of our season?

1 April 2008

It's been close to 24 hours since our five-man (if you include the Cue returning) transfer sweep, and suddenly things are looking up a bit. Already, internet messageboards are speaking highly of signings like McDonnell and Ben Judge to name but two, and right now the talk is of the much needed arse-kicking exercise this squad has needed for a long time.

I've got to admit, I was pretty shocked and stunned myself when I read the OS and saw all these names listed upon there. It's undoubtedly a gamble by TB - there's been enough comment about the AFCW revolving door, how we should instead be looking to get back people like Mark DeBolla and Beckford instead. If it fails, expect more bloodletting in the summer. We all know we needed a settled side for the playoffs and we're still shipping in new players. It's the football equivalent of shock-and-awe, minus the physical damage.

And yet, cast your mind back to last Saturday. Remember how the mood was? For the first time, even some members of the Positive Posse were admitting to themselves that deja vu had come back to haunt us, that we would once again get dicked by somebody like Staines in the playoff semis, and the circle of failure continues for another season. Now?

Well, OK, enough glimpses of optimism. We haven't actually played our next game yet. But we all knew that something had to be done, and it's quite a shock that we've gone and done it. It's been mentioned plenty of times before over the last day or so, but we really didn't have much choice. If last Saturday was a one-off, then it's a one-off. But was it a one-off when ETU done us over? Or indeed the Chelmsford game?

And come to think of it, before that as well? We beat Hendon 2-0 before then, but we were sailing very close to the wind after we went 2-0 up. Lest we forget that one big criticism this season has been us going 2-0 up then just sitting back and unable to kill the game off enough to relax. Seriously, just read SW19 reports from this season and you'll see a pattern forming. Even when we beat Hastings 4-0 a few weeks ago they still hit the bar enough times to make it brown trouser time with better accuracy.

On the surface, bringing in almost half a team in one day is one helluva move to make, and can smell of panic. Dig deeper, and the only surprise is how TB hasn't been able to do it sooner. Let's face it, even if the rumours of Finn storming out at Carshalton are bollocks, things haven't been well at AFCW for some time. True, we're second, but we'd probably still be pushing the champions-elect even now had we been more of a collective unit.

So, what will this do to us? We'll wait and see, but if this doesn't ram a deservedly well-aimed foot up the arse of some of our players, nothing will. Perhaps electric shock treatment, although I doubt if the Ryman rules would let us do that somehow. We urgently needed a (metaphorical) spark of life from somewhere and maybe we've now got it. When TB was smashing a few tea trays about after the game on Saturday, I did wonder just where we would go from here. And I mean, a real doubt of our future direction. You know on occasions when things get so low that you just can't see any way back?

Granted, that might be a melodramatic way of looking at it, but let's face it - our squad has been locked in the dressing room far too many times this season (hell, far too many times over the last month), and if they're out of a game from now on, who's fault is that? It's not as though they've never been given game time.

OK, I have to feel a bit sorry for Danny Webb if McDonnell takes his place, but his easier-to-score-than-miss opportunities at Carshalton probably curtailed his contract for next season. I'm certainly not saying the guy doesn't try hard, christ if only every player had his work ethic. But I think we need to move on now. If TB had the choice of signing people like Webb, Hatton and one or two others right now, with what he's learnt about the RP in 2007/08, would he have done so? The list of recent signings may suggest he probably wouldn't.

This all said, the attitude things continues to come back. I don't expect every player to like the manager, or to be his best mate, but we're chasing second spot - a second spot which we should have nailed down comfortably by now but haven't. If we play any playoff games away, it's our own fault. Not only that, but with that second spot a very important shot at automatic promotion. You would expect at least the players to realise this and bust the proverbial bollock (and literal one if need be) to secure that even if they can't stand who gives the team talk. Christ, the head coach of the 1980 US Olympic ice hockey team said one of his tactics was to make the players focus on one thing - hating him. The idea was that if they didn't play for him they at least played for each other. It worked for them, certainly, and you can't say it's not working for us at the moment.

From reports, it seems as though McDonnell and Judge are what are known as "100% players". In other words, they are prepared to lose a body limb in the process of winning. Now, if true that will gladden the ticker of many a pissed off Womble. How many times have we seen Jason Goodliffe try and gee up our players recently, only to see heads drop when we go 3-2 down? If he could find a brick wall, he'd be giving himself even more of a shiner with repeated headbutting. Now, he might have some other players on the pitch who may not only listen but may themselves gee others up. And it's a bit better having two players giving encouragement than just the one...

The most important thing from now until 5pm on the 3rd May is to remain unbeaten. Do that and we've got promotion. You have to be cynical and brutally ruthless right now. It doesn't matter where they come from, how long they're here for, whether they'll leave in the summer - what matters are four more league games and two playoff games. If we fail, we start again with a brand new approach when the close-season ends. If we succeed, we'll be wondering what all the fuss was about.

Has our season been kickstarted into life again? Billericay will tell us that. But I for once can't wait for training tonight....