30 April 2009

So, how are we enjoying the first few days of being Champions? Nice isn't it?

I guess the weather is helping, but there's a rather serene feel to everything right now. Maybe even a nice smug glow of self-satisfaction as well. Sure, playoffs are nice and all that, but titles are the ones to win. A playoff victory always carries the slight stigma of going up through the back door, especially if you don't finish second. This time round, there's no disputing we were the best side. If last year we had the luck, this year we had the talent.

It was quite strange listening to the playoffs this week. Was I the only one who increasingly found myself increasingly unfussed at the outcome of them? Obviously, we all have our preferences as to whom we'd like to go up (or stay down), but if it does turn out to be an Axewound v Eastleigh Basketball Association final, you'll just shrug your shoulders and expect it to be a nice break from the Wrexhams and Oxfords next season. If anything, I'm more interested in t'Conf North ones - just imagine Gateshead away...

If H&R go up, at least it will be near. A word of warning though about people thinking it'll be the Boxing Day/NYD fixture. Here's a snip from a What's Happening At KM? piece from last close season on this :

When the fixtures were being designed we were asked to submit an analysis of the distance between us and all other teams in the league. The idea is obviously to try to arrange the longer journeys on Saturdays when there isn’t a possible FA Cup or Trophy game, so that we avoid long journeys in midweek. You will have seen that we were allocated Fisher Athletic. While Hampton & Richmond are the nearest club to us, the person devising the fixtures must also take into account the distance between all other clubs and, on balance, they made the selections we now see. We asked that the August and Easter public holiday games should be against Bromley, and those games were allocated to us.

So don't be surprised if we end up with Crawley, Ebbsfleet or even Oxford. Though if it's the latter, you can guarantee the TV cameras will be down there.

Speaking of the playoffs, a cursory glance at the Setanta website suggests that the regional Conference playoffs aren't being shown this year, although there are rumours they are trying to move them to the Sunday. Another reason to be thankful we're champions. I imagine that the authorities really pissed Setanta off last year with the BSS one, constantly moving the venue and whatnot. Then again, the more cynical would suggest that H&R's ground wouldn't be able to cope with a live TV broadcast anyway - the lights aren't good enough, there's fuck all parking and where exactly can they put the gantry? But don't worry everyone, it's perfectly OK for the Conference. The FA said so...

Funny the difference a year makes. This time twelve months ago we were further reddening our collective arseholes with the buildup to Staines. Indeed, about this time last year I was in the queue at Staines trying to sort out their cynical attempt to get their own lifelong support (sic) at our expense. Shame it backfired. Anyway, the result was us getting promoted and thinking that the BSS was this mammoth division, a zillion times better run and one that people gave a shit about.

Looking back, am I the only one a tad disappointed by it? Not us winning the league of course, and I enjoyed the 9 months we spent in it more than the time from the second CCL season to the final game in Turdeyland put together. Funny what winning regularly can do. But in many ways the standard was no better than the Ryman. The collective attitudes were better (bar the dishonorable exceptions, mentioning no names...) but for the highest regional level of non-league football it was a bit, well, underwhelming.

This is probably another reason why Setanta have (at time of writing) given the regional playoffs this season the heave-ho. If it was us in them, they'd show them all right (be still, my increasingly large testicles) but really, who would care if H&R play Eastleigh? Clearly Setanta don't. But then, they don't give a shit about this level full stop. Once we do play our first Conference fixture, we'll already see how much more exposure we'll get. We'll even get about 100 words in the News of the World each week. Sometimes, we're lucky if the printed edition of the Kingston Surrey Comet gives us that.

We can also get to laugh at Woking, and how they're coping with life in the BSS already. If you want to sum them up, I will quote you a member of their top brass to a journo in the press box there, as far back as the 2004/05 season - "I don't like AFC Wimbledon, they've got too many fans". Bear that in mind the next time they descend into Bromley-esque bitterness about us, how we killed Ks etc etc.

Anyway, we could still play them next season because of something called the AGM Cup. Basically, that's the Conference AGM where teams apply to go out of the division because they literally cannot afford it. The rumour mill keeps churning up Grays, Ebbsfleet and Salisbury for the ones to be making a voluntary goodbye, so perhaps we shouldn't get too smug at their expense yet. If they do stay up, expect the small-timed attitude to continue...

Obviously, there's a fair amount of apprehension by us over finances next season. Should we be worried though? Grays and Ebbsfleet will struggle next season, and even Chester aren't in great shape. As long as we are sensible, we should be able to survive comfortably. Next season might not be a bad time to consolidate - we're certainly not ready for League football, yet we should be able to attract enough decent Conf standard players to gain that mid-table mediocrity we secretly desire.

Who is on the in/out list this time round won't be officially known until after the End of Season Dinner. However, rumours abound that TB was spotted at Kidderminster, Aldershot reserves and Hayes since Sunday alone. Personally, if we have a chance of going for a Conf level player (or one even higher), we should go for them. I'm not a big fan of signing players from the division we've just come up from - they're down there for a reason. If we hadn't gone up, would DK have stayed? Possibly not, he joined us so he could play in the Conf next season. And you can bet there are better players than him hanging around in various mid table sides...

On the out list, Jake Leberl might be gone, if it's true that he is prioritising other things in his life (his missus is about to have a kid). Shame really, as he's a Dons fan, but as a footballer he knows the score on getting released. He joined us because he didn't want to go full time with D&R, lest we forget. He could certainly do the proverbial job for an ambitious BSS club (rules out Woking then...). Other than that, it's just the guessing game for the next week and a bit.

While we await anything to happen, you can read the latest SW19 article here. Either that or it's twiddling your thumbs or read about how we've killed the current Ryman One champions...

---

25 April 2009

OK, now I can officially say it...

AFC WIMBLEDON
CONFERENCE SOUTH CHAMPIONS 2008/09

Suck on that, doubters.

It's quite a nice warm glow, isn't it? OK, we all knew that Championes 3 Champignones 0 was going to be a foregone conclusion even if we'd lost, but it does have to be said that a win like that, in a game that had a slight touch of pre-season friendly to it (right down to the weather), was a rather fine way of ending this season.

The pre match talk by the more paranoid of us that we'd lose 12-0 was of course the kind of black humour that football fans have in such situations. We were never really going to lose today, even if we did rest about five regular starters. And even when we fell asleep towards the end of the first half, complete with Gindre's save - although it should be ¡Gindre! - it was never really in doubt...

I'll try and mention a little bit about the game itself, as very few people will, so here goes - it was a bit strange if truth be told. We clearly weren't going to bust a bollock to get the victory, and I don't think we were ever in danger of losing 12-0. Honest. Because of that though, at times I wonder if we were in two minds on what to do. Thankfully, St Albans were pretty shite, and after a quick prod up the arse at the break, we looked like champions.

Actually, we looked more like the passing side we were at the beginning of the season. Distinct lack of pressure obviously helped. I wonder though if the starting XI was picked for a reason? Maybe a final swan song for a couple of them? Jason Goodliffe's goal right at the end was certainly a fitting one, and I expect to see him on the sidelines next season in some sort of coaching role. I don't expect Sambrook or Haswell to be here next season. I would like ¡Gindre! to stay but I think jarpie land may be too tempting. As for Tony Finn, I wonder if he was given his last chance today? To be fair, he took it well, and if he is on the retained list next season perhaps we shouldn't be surprised. One does wonder though if he might become full time so he can be really properly worked on...

All that will be sorted out in the weeks and months to come. Funny how this season has gone so quickly hasn't it? It's not an anti-climax, far from it, but what has jumped out at me right now is how undramatic it all turned out to be. It's going to be strange a bit right now listening to talk of playoffs, wondering why we're not in it and then suddenly go "oh yeah...". I think we were the best team of the season, and we deserved to go up as champions. Some of the football we played at times was pretty breathtaking. Of course, some of it was nervy and didn't do our collective arseholes much good. And let's be honest, we did serve up some right crap at times....

Right now though, none of that matters. We're up. Correction, we're up. It's happened. Big games. Coverage on Setanta. Having the NLP dedicate 500 words to our games, plus quotes from both managers, instead of the usual 300. Mentions on Ceefax. And Teletext. Games against teams the average punter has heard of. Ticket allocations. Segregation. Arsehole stewards. Long away trips. Barrow away in mid-December. Not being the biggest side for once. Good eh?

And you do have to step back every so often and realise just how far we've come in seven short years. No doubt the phrase "Common to the Conference" will be used liberally over this pre-season and beyond. Probably will become the title of a DVD or book detailing our rise to the top. And that's what it effectively is. Here's a snippet from our first ever competitive fixture in the AFCW era, at Sandhurst way back in 2002:

All right, I wasn't taking THAT many notes about the game, you shouldn't be that surprised. I've never concentrated on writing what actually happens on the pitch before and I ain't going to start that boring shit now. But today, that didn't matter. Some of what I saw today was very non-league. Very non-league. I should expect that having spent most of my football watching in the professional game. However, I witnessed something that I haven't experienced for years, and a little thing that we'd all forgotten to an extent. We had fun. It was enjoyable. There was, how shall we say, less pressure. The players when they walked off loved it, in fact as I type this they're at a pub in deepest SW19 consuming vast quantities of ale. And I really think it shows. That "Blaydon Races" song, about all the lads and lasses with smiles upon wor faces could easily apply to us ATM. Seeing people I haven't met in ages, that kind of thing. Still having doubts about AFCW.......................?

Back then, it was all about just having a club. TB mentions about that in his interview which will be up later on. Fast forward to today, and while there's a little bit of that same enjoyability factor we had in them days, today was better than that. We formally, officially, made our step back to where we once were.

Some may lament the fact we're inching daily towards professionalism. That is, in the full time sense. But professionalism also means doing things properly. We are celebrating promotion to the top non-league division probably anywhere in the world today because we not only worked hard, we worked smart. We decided early on in the AFCW era that we wanted to be back in the league, and everything we did was geared towards that. Sure, we had some setbacks on the way, but we have mostly learnt from them. And will continue to do so.

Way back at that Sandhurst game, if you said that in just under seven years we'd be preparing for life in the Conference, you would have gone one helluva laugh. But also, you would have had some raised eyebrows, because many felt at the time it would mean losing something from AFCW. Whether it was control, freedom, just that little bit of innocence. It was unthinkable back then, and if I'm being honest, some didn't want it at all.

Fast forward to today and nobody's moaning. Not even myself for once. Generally, people are well chuffed. So much for all the people going to walk away because we "sold out". Though one wonders if they ever really meant it, and said it just to make them feel/sound good and righteous. True, a couple have walked away, but the crowd today shows we have no difficulty in replacing them.

Enjoy what remains of tonight. I expect some will do a bit too much (plenty of hangovers, fifteen full buckets of vomit, three sexual harrasment cases and at least one pregnancy is my prediction for the KM piss up). The hard work will start after heads clear. But like all good things, it all seems worth it...

 

Plus points: Just look at the top of the table.

Minus points: Shit first half.

The referee's a.....: It was Ron Ganfield. And for once he didn't ruin our season. OK, he gave them a few free kicks in the second half, but he wasn't looking to sending any of our lot off. It wasn't that sort of day. Or, rather, TB doesn't feel the need to antagonise him before the game...

Them: They weren't that special TBH. They had an opportunity to take the lead just before the break, but really with us going up another gear this would have been a bloodbath. Shame we missed out on Jonathan Hunt playing for them (yes, that one). I still remember his goal vs Boro at Shitehurst, which was the only thing he ever did for us. Deserve kudos for doing the guard of honour even though we hadn't officially won the title by then.

Three's a crowd: The picture to your right was taken about 1 hour before kickoff. It was similar in size one hour afterwards, too. The attendance was officially given as 4722, which I think has to be an AFCW league record, and certainly the biggest since Ks had terracing where the lower seating of the Main Paul Strank Stand was.

I don't think I need to say that KM isn't suitable for crowds over 3500. The view today in the corner between the JS and the KRE was pretty shit, and I don't envy the poor steward trying to keep the area around the emergency exit clear. The West Bank rebanking can't come quickly enough.

The crowd does suggest there may have been the one-game-a-season brigade, or those who have found a bandwagon and are now sitting upon it. Shouldn't mock of course, and they'll be the sort of people to get us in the league and beyond. Bet some of them were a bit clueless though. I have no doubt they came up with the following : "So, which colour do Wimbledon play in?". "Which one is Justin Fashanu?". And I expect one of them came up with... "So they play here then? I thought they'd all gone up to Milton Keynes.................."

 

Point to ponder: Does our way of playing today signify how relaxed we were? Before the game, the players rather seemed to be enjoying themselves anyway. One or two smiles as well. Obviously, there was a touch of last-day-of-term, but doesn't it just prove how games are won and lost on the mental side? Thinking about it further, it might mean some good performances next season, because we aren't expecting to win every game. You can imagine the buzz of going up to Chester City next season and coming away with a last minute Kedwell special.

Meet the manager: After finally getting to the press area (trust me, from a journo point of view championship games are an absolute pain in the arse. So much waiting about and so much hassle. Though of course you'll have a bloody good laugh at the press getting a hard time...), I got TB's thoughts. I've put it back into MP3 format, however if anyone knows how to do the same below for OGG files, that would make my life easier

However, the OGG file can be found here whilst the much larger MP3 one can be found here. I did have to cut out one bit in it, hence the brief silence (nothing that gobsmackingly new or nothing you wouldn't have said yourself, but he asked for it to be off the record). What also wasn't on the tape was his comments afterwards, which were "I bet we bloody play Luton first game of the season"....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The sight you see to your left after the game, above the poshe bastards bit. Now, I know that PISA were the sponsors of the game, but even that shouldn't explain why said scarf got up there. Guess it was one of those sort of days..... (2) Seeing the following indivduals : a woman in a Woking top. Obviously in denial at her teams' plight. A guy in a Pompey shirt. The top brass of the Conference (Brian Lee and the other bloke). The Mayor of Merton - and there isn't even an election on. Hmm. (3) Golden Goal tickets sold out at 1.59pm. (4) Good to see Luke Garrard running around the pitch just before the game. As Lewis Taylor shows, having that kind of injury can if anything make you stronger. (5) Ben Judge getting both WDON and the full POTY award. Guess he's safe from the cull. I would have gone for Danny Kedwell, because we effectively won this division with goals scored, and his signing certainly made us do that. Although in fairness, you do have to stop them at the other end. (6) The realisation that there will now be no football until early-to-mid July. Unless you could the remaining reserve games or you're going to take yourself off to a playoff.

Anything else? I was tempted to rail against H&R getting the go-ahead to play in the playoffs, but it's not that sort of day. On that score, all I'd like to say is that ex-FA chief executive and Scouse cunt Brian Barwick is a regular down the Beaveree. Draw your own conclusions.

I was also tempted to comment that KM isn't suitable for big crowds. Today was a killer. But that's not exactly a trade secret, hell I mentioned that earlier, and AFCW would rectify that tomorrow if they could. We should get a rebanked KRE end by the start of next season anyway.

In fact, at the moment I just cannot think of anything to write. I think it's one of those sort of days that as a football fan you live for. Winning a division has traditionally been the top prize because you have to be pretty good to do it. Cups are great, but they can and do involve flukeyness. This season just finished has felt both incredibly short and incredibly long. Short, because the game at Newport County only seemed like last week. Long because this very day in February and March just couldn't come quick enough...

Now, we may never win a title ever again. Or at least for a good many years. We could now be in a period of consolidation, or even of relative failure. But then, we're kind of looking forward to that aren't we? I have an article which will be put up this week about this very thing. One thing is for sure, this promotion feels better than any other we've had since about 1986.

So, was it worth it? Yes. No sarcasm or attempt to be clever needed.

In a nutshell: Chester, Wrexham, Luton, Mansfield......

---

19 April 2009

You do realise we only got a point from the Beaverdome and we haven't actually won the league yet. We could still lose 7-0 against St Albans, and H&R can easily win 7-0 against Maidenhead. And......... oh, fuck it:

AFC WIMBLEDON
(as good as) CONFERENCE SOUTH CHAMPIONS 2008/09

Dear Football Gods. You have given us all enough grief over the past few years so I'm calling this for us now. Even we couldn't let slip a 14 goal advantage. And if we did, the first thing I'd do is call the police in to investigate. It would be the most iffiest set of happenings in football since Bromley in injury time last Monday. So fuck you.

Anyway, let Kempton Park 1 Wimbledon Village 1 sink in a little bit. Just let Jon Main's header repeat itself in your mind over and over again. If that feeling starts to numb a little, just remind yourself of how you felt when their goal went in. How you felt when the much maligned Sam Hatton's shot was saved in the first half. And the deflected shot in the second that just went to their keeper. And DK looping over the bar. And then Hussey's cross, and JM's jump, and connection, and your reaction afterwards....

And then think of the shit from Bromley last Monday. Think of the outright gobshite comments coming out from there afterwards. Think of the time at WSM where we relied on Jamie Pullen's hands right at the death, only to find out that H&R had, yet again, got a last minute winner. And think of Eastleigh, with that handball. Hell, if you can think of any other incidents this season that has tested the patience beyond acceptable levels, just do it.

And then think of Chris Hussey's cross and Jon Main's header again.

Funny how history repeats itself doesn't it? Around about this time last year, we were going into an ultra-tense period. We were losing games at KM to people like Harlow, and there was a very real sense that we'd fuck it up. Fast-forward to Staines away, and remember what a warm, sunny day that was in West London. Yesterday had exactly that same feel, even down to the ticketing arrangements.

I'm sure right now nobody actually remembers the game. I'm going to try though, with the very limited notes I ended up making...

First things first. When I heard that Hussey wasn't playing and Haswell was, I already had flashes of doom in front of my eyes. Remember the games against Chelmsford and Wycombe when TB did the same thing and it kept backfiring? OK, I know why he did it yesterday, and for once it actually worked. That said, I can't help thinking that like Inns, MH will be on the out-list come the summer. Also on the teamsheet was JG, which wasn't exactly a surprise. I think he was being wrapped in cotton wool especially for this game. If I remember correctly, I'm sure he postponed his retirement last season so he could push us into the Conf. Wonder if he'll have a swansong for next season? If indeed he doesn't call it a day after next Saturday.

One thing that did surprise me was JM on the bench. OK, I know I slagged him off on Friday, and it was clear my words did the trick ;) But you would have thought that he would have been given an extra chance with this being such a big game. Perhaps it was the kick up the arse he needed? Obviously worked...

The game itself? Well, it was a bit of a strange one if truth be told. First half, it was pretty impressive defensively from us. I think the way we showed the physical side to our game stunned H&R a bit. We needed to win the intimidation battle and we did - I honestly think it threw them. Of course, we started to tire a little bit towards the end of the first half, and all of a sudden the free kicks and throws started pelting in....

Second half? Well, the only surprise was that H&R didn't add to their one goal. Which was basically us falling asleep at a corner, them doing a short one for once and basically catching us out. Cue eye rolling, tutting under our collective breaths and a silent mutter of "here we go again". Just like last season when Staines went 1-0 up. OK, we went on the attack, but you all know that feeling you get at games when you just don't think it's going to go in...

I'd like to be smug here and say that I knew we'd score despite everything. But that would be bollocks, because I wasn't. I'm not faulting the effort of the players at all, but when you consider the trouble we had recently with scoring goals, plus how we apparently played in the second half against Bromley, you did wonder if the luck had finally run out for us.

Of course, luck is a strange concept. We all knew we were owed something, but I didn't think it would actually be in the manner we got it. Chris Hussey came on as sub and to be fair he aquitted himself well enough. It was about two minutes left (or was it four?). I'll have to see the replay of two of their players colliding with each other, as the buildup is a bit of a blur. All I'll say right now is, the ref probably thought they were both going to get up, which is why Hussey could continue. Anyway, he crossed a decent ball, Main was at the right place at the right time, and the rest is yellow and blue history....

Some players really did stand out yesterday. Has Lewis Taylor really been out for close to a year? I can see why TB raves about him. Danny Kedwell deserves not only player of the season but a hat-trick against St Albans. And when he returns, Luke Garrard may find it pretty difficult to dislodge Jay Conroy. I do expect some changes after the season ends. I wouldn't be overly surprised to see a Paul Lorraine-esque figure come to AFCW. Maybe even Quiche himself, especially if Woking go down. Can we honestly expect people like Finn to be here next season? Then again, he might do better in a higher league with better quality players around him.

But all that is for the upcoming weeks and months. Like last season, this is going to take a little while to sink in. In a way, it's still not a full blooded celebration (from these quarters anyway) because we're still not officially champions. But it would have to be the freakiest of all freak happenings for anything to go wrong now. And apparently, Maidenhead (H&R's next opponents) really don't like the Axewounds, so they're not going to roll over for them. Bromley might have, though......

Got to say, there were times during the season when I thought we'd blown it. Especially in March. It was a genuinely held belief as well, and I've had questions asked of me recently why exactly I felt this way. Here goes - I had serious reservations about whether we would have the energy to keep plugging away to grind out those results we needed. Even as far back as Maidenhead, I thought we looked a bit shaky at the back. I always thought we had the talent to do it, but the sheer physical and mental strain would have told on us. The games in March were painful, but the ones in February were if anything even worse.

But it's that period that, in hindsight, is where we won the title. After all, we gained the top spot on 27th January and never relinquished it. At times you got the feeling the players themselves knew that the energy would sap, the luck would run out and we'd get caught at the last. If you think I was being way OTT with my predictions of doom, just look at what happened to Chelmsford this season. That could have very easily been us, although I think it's now getting proven that things weren't right there for a while. Apparently, Jeff King wasn't at their loss at Barf yesterday, he was instead in a box at Wembley. I don't think any more needs to be said...

TBH, I'm glad I was proved wrong. I offer no apologies for thinking what I did though, because I've seen teams blow up in the past who were doing as well as we did. Ask Burton fans. If anything, I'm probably more amazed - and certainly gladdened - that our mental fortitude was as good as it was. This season, there's been a determination there that I haven't seen in a Wimbledon side since the WFC era. Unlike last year, when you got the distinct impression there were a couple of troublemakers in the camp, doing some shit-stirring for reasons best known to themselves.

Still, we can now go into St Albans without having to shit ourselves over needing a result. Though I would like the 3 points and a nice 5-0er to round off the season...

 

Plus points: As good as champions. We didn't lose. Defence was solid for 99.99% of the time. JM's goal. Danny Kedwell. Jay Conroy. LT.

Minus points: We didn't win. Their goal. We've still never beaten H&R. No away win since February.

The referee's a....: Very, very good. Probably the best ref I've seen this season, and not just because he didn't blow up for our goal. Didn't seem fazed at all by H&R's methods, and indeed gave two of their players a booking in the first half for exactly that. Dunno who he was, but I heard he was somebody coming up from the Ryman league for this. Good job this wasn't common knowledge before the game...

Them: I can't pretend that I like H&R, but I respect them. They didn't try so much of the funny stuff yesterday (probably having a strong ref helped), but their tactic (singular) of free kicks and throw-ins really would have caused us grief. If they did go up, I wouldn't begrudge them it - they did fall at the final hurdle last season, and they were within two minutes of being level on points with us. They probably deserve to go up, and if I'm being honest I'd rather see them promoted if the other option is Eastleigh.

That said, there is no way their ground is good enough for Conference football. Apparently, their temporary stand that is the subject of so much discussion had really crap views. When our goal went in, the fence behind the goal collapsed. Thankfully, nobody was seriously injured, but if it's true that the Conf were using yesterday as a litmus test to see if the Beaverdome could handle it, they may be having second thoughts this morning. I won't even begin to describe the view, especially on the dugout side. Though their prick of a PA guy was really starting to wind everyone up when he kept saying (or was it a touch of gloating?) that there was PLENTY OF ROOM down the side. Trust me - there wasn't.

Also, the slope behind the concreted bit goes downwards. A couple of times, I had to watch myself that I didn't fall over backwards and end up headbutting the fence/tree behind me. And yes, there was a tree right behind me - imagine not only having to rebank it but to overcome the NIMBYS in removing the local plantation. I know they know they won't stay around long enough in the Conf for them to need to do refurbishment, but when you consider we had to spend close to £800k on seating this season alone to comply, you do wonder if there's any points in ground regulations.

Their stewards were, according to many people, "bouncers". They were certainly keen on getting the big AFCW flag down, before some coppers told them to stop being jobsworth pricks. When I entered the ground, I saw some of our fans having a row with them because they were allowed to stand in one place then 45 minutes later (when it was fuller) they got told to move. Hmm. A conversation with one of them was overheard by an SW19 source. Basically, one steward wasn't keen on the football at all, but he said that he does it because he gets £80 per game. Make of that what you will.

As for their fans complaining how threatening we were after the game, they've obviously never met Luton or Oxford fans. Their naievity could get them into all sorts of trouble next season. As a fanbase, we're clued up about the League mentality that we'll see a lot more of next season. The Axewounds have basically been of the Ryman mindset since their inception. I genuinely don't think they quite know what's up there in the next division. Yesterday proved to me that I don't quite think they're really capable of handling life in the Conference....

Point to ponder: How vital was A Divot's last gasp winner at Furruk?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The sign on a pet shop en route to the ground that said it was going to close early because of the football. I really am not making this up - look to your right (thanx Nicole for the pic). All together now - "We are Wombles we are here. Shag your budgie, drink your, er, Iams...". (2) The minute silence beforehand. Which everyone seemed to get wrong - I can't remember a coin toss getting done in total silence before. Well, apart from every game at the Wankiedome. (3) Ks getting promoted as well. Just as well the KM bars were already booked out, it could have got quite messy. (4) The portable pissoirs in the away end. Seriously, it had all the hallmarks of a Ryman League club getting a decent FAC tie and putting out all the stops. And they were nicked from Westminster Council. Really, how can the Beaverdome host top flight non-league football on a regular basis?

Anything else? There probably is. There's a lot of things that will be written about, or spoken, in the upcoming weeks and months. But right now, I can't think of them. Instead, I can talk about the playoffs knowing damn well we don't have to suffer them this year. How nice that is to write that. As for who you want to go up or not, most people will say they want CCFC to go up and H&R and Eastleigh to suffer a great injustice in them. Especially Eastleigh. TBH I'm not going to care massively about who goes up or doesn't. I want Eastleigh to stay down, because of their cheating and their cuntstain of a chairman accusing us of being bad losers. No doubt he'll fuck Eastleigh off and join up with Bromley.

H&R as said above. I think I'd get more joy out of them falling flat on their arses again though. If they don't go up this year they never will. As for the other two, I don't mind CCFC but I don't join in with the love-in that other fans of ours have with them. I think I remember their big mouths a bit too much when they were nine points clear of us earlier this season. I certainly remember the mouthing off they made about our attendances and their firm belief that they would overtake us in the crowd stakes because they're the biggest town in Essex and we have Chelski on our doorstep...

Which leaves H&Y. OK, their fans can be nobs at times, but there's no real reason to wish them ill. They're a tough side, a bit like the Axewounds without the attitude problem. They've got a good old ground (though will be gone by about this time next year) which probably could handle a big game, and will at least sort out the Xmas period games. I suppose really I'm going to be supporting them in the playoffs. So, expect a H&R vs Eastleigh final - I bet Setanta will love that...

So, was it worth it? Maybe.

In a nutshell: Now watch us lose 15-0 on Saturday...

---

17 April 2009

Staines playoff game, anyone?

It's hard to believe sometimes that not only are we two games away from the end of the season, but one point tomorrow will as good as ensure we're promoted as champions. Sounds easy, yet will probably be the most difficult point of the entire season to get.

I suppose if I had to choose a venue where we needed to avoid defeat, I wouldn't have picked the Beaverdome. Lest we forget that we have never - ever - got a single, solitary point from there. OK, that was all in the DA era, and if nothing else TB has a far better aptitude for dealing with these sort of games. But let it be said we won't be doing things the easy way.

As far as buildups go though, this is a strange one. I don't know how anyone reading this is feeling, but I feel a confusing mixture of calm and anxiety. The calmness will go of course, and I'll be back to being the nervous paranoid wreck I've been for the past 33 years two months. But unlike the Staines game last season, it's felt a little bit, well, weird...

I'll let out what I'm thinking. I don't think we'll do it tomorrow. I think things have been so arsey against us recently that I just can't see the Footballing Gods giving us a break. It's got nothing to do with the fact that we've never even got a point from the Beaverdome. I just can't help thinking that something, something is going to go wrong.

It could be a moment of defensive dozyness. It could be Pullen doing one of his juggling acts at exactly the worst moment. It could be the pitch being eccentric. It could be the referee being a dick. Whatever, with recent events you just can't help having in the back of your mind that niggling doubt of impending doom around the corner.

Totally irrational to think that, of course, but after Monday's happenings can you really blame anyone for holding such views? More I think about that incident, the more I can't help thinking that somebody is trying to take our title away. Still, full credit to AFCW for the aftermath of the shit this week. Conducted with dignity and a "let's use this as motivation for Saturday", shame certain other parties don't have the self-respect or intellectual honesty to do likewise.

All this said, if we're being honest with ourselves we're not exactly setting the place alight right now. Especially JM and DK, who I don't think have scored at all since Dorchester, well over a month ago. Granted, DK has been playing a bit with an injury and isn't quite getting the luck. But as harsh as this is to say about a player who has got us 32 goals this season, I'm getting a bit pissed off with JM right now. Right now, when we need his goals more than ever, he's just not doing it. And whilst admittedly I haven't been to as many games as I would have liked recently, he hasn't looked close to rectifying that.

Yes, I know it's confidence, probably nerves thrown in for good measure, part time etc etc. But really, he needs to start proving his worth to us again. Not next week. Not in the playoffs. But tomorrow. As does everyone else charged with putting the ball in the net for us.

Anyway, enough bitching about the strikeforce that's got us a goal difference running into double figures. I really do seem to have this strange mixture of anxiety and calm tranquility. A football bi-polar, if you will. I suppose it's because if we do end up with nothing at 5pm on Saturday, we've still got another chance to finish the season off. OK, it will mean a victory is needed next Saturday, and I won't begin to describe the various gases coming out of various arses in the buildup to that. If we fail in that particular quest, we have two more games minimum to get it right. So effectively, Saturday is the first of five games needed to get promotion.

Of course, we want it done and dusted by tomorrow. I think the players do as well, if truth be told. While Bromley's continued attempts to justify their cheating are becoming more pathetic each day, it's done us a bit of a favour. We now have that real sense that we got screwed big time - you can tell it in TB's interviews. If he can successfully change our players from "we're frightened to make a mistake" to "fuck you, you cheating cunts" that's half the battle won.

Also, as strange at it may sound, and contrary to my third paragraph, I'm glad we've got H&R, because we know we will have to focus 220% anyway. If it had been a WSM, or a Welling, or even a Maidenhead, there would have been that temptation to go into the game and cruise it. We know we can't do that here.

It's also worth remembering of course that H&R have to win. They're under as much pressure as we are now. They're the ones who have to take the game to us, especially at home. We have another chance next week to get it right. They don't. One mistake by us will piss us off and make next week even more tense. One mistake by them and playoff hell awaits. If it's 0-0 or 1-1 with 20 minutes to go, it's not up to us to get the result.

Tomorrow is a game that could be decided in the first thirty minutes, especially if we go up a goal or two. This is why us going for the draw would be suicidal. We're not good enough to do it for 90 minutes at the best of times, very few sides are. I don't think our collective nervous state would make us carry it out properly anyway. Instead, without being gung-ho, we need to put the Axewounds under pressure for at least some of the game.

If we go for the win, you give yourself a chance if you do mess up early on. How many times have you seen sides play games where they go for the draw from the first minute then find their gameplan ruined after letting in one after 10 minutes? Despite the nerves, despite the occasion, despite the cheating against us, despite our crap record against them - the Beavers are most certainly beatable.

I do expect tomorrow to be murder though. H&R won't give us anything, and it will be a major miracle if they don't try any intimidation. I'm sure we can expect fake injuries, attempts to get our players injured or sent off, that sort of thing. I certainly expect them to copy Bromley if it's the last minute and they get a drop ball. They'll try everything to make our lives hell off it too - I'm sure they'll think of ways of preventing entry to us because of ill-torn ticket stubs or something else petty. And I suggest anyone in the "home" end should leave their colours at home. The Ryman mentality will be steroided up and out in force tomorrow - big time. Be warned.

Anyway, if that doesn't wind you up, then nothing will. This buildup is strange though, strangely calm. I suppse the other reason for this serenity is that we've been here before. Not only for the playoff final but because - as TB stated in the SLP yesterday - we've dealt with this pressure every single week since January. At times it got unbearable, but what has helped is that it's now put-up-or-shut-up time. We are two games away from the regular season finishing. There's none of the feeling that we have to constantly grind out results with precious little reward, which I felt we suffered from in February and March. It really could be over by 5pm tomorrow.

And reading more from the SLP (Rocky Baptiste especially) there is an air of confidence about. That is one thing that has marked this season out more than any other in the AFCW era - the outright sheer belief we collectively have. There hasn't been that air of "fuck we could blow this" and more of a "let's get this title to bed". I hope it's not going to become complacency, which is something even more damaging than nerves. But if I'm expecting yet more doom and desolation at the Beaverdome tomorrow, nobody's told the playing staff.

To prove what I mean, last night, I went to Imber Court to see our reserves win the Suburban League Challenge Cup final over Bedfont. An omen? I have to say how impressed I was with them (especially our #5 and Josh Orlando). But there was an assurance throughout the squad, and it's clear that MG is helping install a mantra to mirror that of the first team. This can only be good for us, and the 200 or so people there last night were as impressed.

Including one TB, who just popped in after training. Now, as I was leaving the ground to go back to SW19 Towers, our manager was in front of me. And he seemed pretty lively, he had that air that everything would be fine tomorrow about him. Which may explain why the players are acting the same way. I wonder if maybe, just maybe, he knows something we don't......?

---

14 April 2009

Good job I wasn't at Bromley yesterday after all....

Instead, I'll put up what people have emailed me about the whole thing. Firstly, from somebody who wants to remain anon:

 

 

Next, some missives from Lloydy:

 

Finally, a short and sweet one by Wazza.

(Yesterday) made me realise just how pleased I am to have Terry and Stuart in charge, as I would walk away from the club if we did what the cheating scum did.  Now, it’s about getting even and creating a siege mentality, which, combined with playing how we did in the first half, will see us through to where we deserve to be.  For 45 minutes, we looked like the all-conquering Wombles from earlier on in the season, and should have put the game out of sight.  The second we didn’t keep it up, but in Lewis Taylor we have an outstanding midfielder that can win us the title.      

 

The ironic thing about all this is that once the dust eventually settles, we are effectively where we hoped we'd be come 2.59pm yesterday - just one more win needed.

But then, it's not about that is it? We should only need a draw over two games to clinch promotion, yet that was taken away from us in the worst possible circumstance. If you concede fair and square then that's one thing. But this is beyond any definition of fairness. No, they didn't break the rules in doing it, but there's "doing the right thing" too. Deliberately scoring from a backpass after a player is down injured is the footballing equivalent of shagging a dying man's simple daughter in front of him, or being a Franchise fan. Legal, but those who do it should be sectioned.

Actually, I was going to liken Bromley's morals to those of a sewer rat. However, the legal representatives of the rat were about to sue for deflamation of character over being likened to the chavs, so I won't.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that they not only did that but celebrated it like they'd won the World Cup. Is it true that the referee told them to let us walk the ball into the net to restore our lead but refused to? I've been accused in the past by some people of having precious little respect for this level of football, the people and teams involved. But when you get incidents like this, there's no way you could ever warm to this culture, this "purity" that is demanded of you in the Ryman and manifests itself in places like where we were yesterday. What Bromley did wasn't just petty, it was the smallest of small time things to do. Couple that with their deep-rooted bitterness and resentment and the only surprise is that they haven't tried it before.

You see, Bromley don't have much going for them as a club. They're mostly shunned by the local population, they struggle to get crowds of 500 on a good day, and even then half of them are bored Palace fans. They haven't had that one shot at FA Cup folklore that Slutton and Leatherhead have lived off for years. And they're bitter. Completely and utterly bitter.

We've seen this bitterness not only with Bromley, but with H&R, W&H, Dulwich Hamlet, Ramsgutter, hell even Withdean 2000. While I appreciate that not every club we play finds us wonderful, these clubs have resentment from top to bottom, a resentment you just don't see at many other clubs.

When they play us, it's their one shot to be something. Teams like Bromley and Dulwich and Walton and Hersham are always the first to complain whenever somebody takes the piss out of non-league football. They're always the first to moan that fans of bigger clubs patronise them. "Oh, you're little Bromley are you? Well done", complete with head patting. They hate that. You would not believe just how much they hate that attitude, and in us they see the same condesension but they have a chance to do something about it. That's the reason behind their second goal - they wanted to stick it to the Man, to show themselves to the world, to swipe a punch at us.

They just have no self-respect at all. Which is a bit strange as with a bit of proper planning and marketing, Bromley may have the potential to push on towards the Conference. But they don't, and never will. Their whole attitude, players, staff and fans alike will always drag them down. And that's why their crowds are so shit. Clubs have a "feel" to them, and that's why they'll always be this bitter little backwater of a club, existing only for the odd season(s) when an AFCW pops into town.

When their second "goal" went in, the bitterness, the resentment, the small-timedness came out for all to see. Proper clubs don't do that sort of thing, which is why Bromley milked it. And yes, their cup final got them much column inches which they'll live off for many a year to come. I'm almost tempted to pat them on the head myself and say "well done for showing everyone what you're made of". Needless to say, they'll probably think it's a seal of approval.

Of course, I won't begin to start on what they do whenever we do anything wrong. Christ, it then becomes a world record sprint to claim the moral highground when it comes to slagging us off. Unsurprisingly they're taking potshots at our idiots who decided to smash an advertising hoarding (and if they caught who did it, send them the repair bill), and apportioning blame to us for anything that happened in the car park. While conveniently keeping quiet about the alleged verbal abuse aimed at a lone teenage AFCW female in the car park....

Still, let them enjoy this moment. Let them release the box set DVD of the "goal", complete with interviews of the goalscorer and manager and recreations of the celebrations. It's all they'll ever have.

 

The upshot of all this is, as stated above somewhere, we only need one more win to get promotion. And perhaps more importantly, with a bit of fire in the belly as well. Suddenly, H&R on Saturday looks a bit more winnable. To be cheated once (Eastleigh handball) is one of those once-a-season-or-two happenings. To be cheated twice (Bromley) starts smelling a bit. If we get diddled out at H&R for the third time in about a month, then the whole thing officially stinks. It would just prove that there is a concerted effort to keep us in this division in the most dubious of ways.

Think about it. If luck evens itself out, then what the fuck are we owed Saturday?

I'll preview the H&R game later in the week, but reading the reports above, it appears a tad like the WSM game was. If we were shit (or probably nervous if truth be told) in the second half, then Lewis Taylor's goal was to be that one bit of luck that I've banged on about in previous reports. It does seem like the more we can't get the second goal the more the nerves kick in. Same against Basingstoke on Friday, only with a better team yesterday.

Is all this papering over the cracks of a sheer inability to kill games off right now? Yes and no. Yes, because what happened in the last minute should not take away from the second half performance. We cannot pretend that playing like we did (apparently) then will even get us a draw on Saturday. By many accounts, for all of what happened with their second "goal", we got away with it.

But no, because right now you feel anger, not nerves. Half our battle this past month or two has been the nerve factor. Come Saturday, we will have that sense of injustice with us again. We are due a good game but an away win too. Saturday is the time for both of those to happen. I know the comments about luck are perhaps getting almost as tedious as banging on about H&R's lego stand. But really - you can't say that we deserve not to go up now. Though one hopes this isn't a perverse payback for scraping through the playoffs last season...

One final thing. I've never heard so many stories of mild mannered people (and yes, they are mild mannered) so willing to lash out at people afterwards. Stories are abound that one of the Bromley players got in to our dressing room wanting to continue a fight and no doubt try to make a name for himself. Well done our players for not giving him what he wanted.

What the fallout from this will be I don't know. It wouldn't be in the league's interest to start docking points, as some people were worried about after the game. That would be a legal fight that would make Darlogate look like getting an indirect free kick. Fine? No doubt, and I hope people do a whipround for it. Touchline bans? Possibly. Nobody got red carded afterwards though, I believe the ref just told everyone to go home straight away.

And even if the worse did happen, and we do find ourselves in this division next season, we'd just have to fuck off everyone all over again, won't we?

---

10 April 2009

OK, hands up - who here was expecting a classic 4-0er with everyone playing subliminal one-touch football with a heroic hatrick from Jamie Pullen?

If so, put your hands down and sulk. The most important thing about Port Vale 1 Stoke 0 was that it was three points. Yes, it wasn't a classic. Yes, it was yet another case of just getting through the game. Yes, this is turning into another set of results and performances that we endured during February. By Sunday evening, your arse will look like the flag of Japan.

But not for the first time, it was a game that could have gone wrong that didn't. Let's do another show of hands - during the second half, who here had flashbacks to the Good Friday game last season against East Thurrock United? You remember, it was that cold, wet Good Friday that we didn't really play too well, against a side we should beat comfortably, and yet let in two goals within the last two minutes.....

What a difference a year makes.

Actually, I have to be honest here and say that I was ready to curse like fuck when I found we were playing a much changed side. TB will explain why in his interview that I taped (below) but at times I thought it was a gamble too far. Surely we should be playing our best team for the remaining four three games? I'm not saying we got away with it today, because we probably were a lot more comfortable than our arseholes will let us be right now. But at times when the passing went astray, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and think "what the fuck have we done?".

Well, that question was answered via Alan Inns' effort, thankfully. Boy, we're going to miss him now. You do have to wonder though, will Monday be a step too far? Did the fact that we played without three of our most effective players yet still won prove that we're destined for the title? Though the answer to that is, of course not.

Monday will be ten times more difficult than today was. They want to deny us promotion, and you know they'll give it to us. Eastleigh didn't find it too easy from them earlier this afternoon (though with a penalty. And they say luck evens itself out...), and we certainly won't.

I mentioned the word "luck" here, and it's something that I've written about a lot recently. A neutral I know went today, he saw us lose at Eastleigh but beat Team Barf. According to said fencesitter, we're winning without getting the rub of the green. Offsides given against us weren't offsides, we should have had a couple of handballs given our way, that sort of thing. Granted, you make your own luck. Witness how we made them panic when we did put pressure on their defence. Yet even that didn't quite happen for us today.

Am I moaning? Yeah, a little bit. Various incidents do stick in the throat, even more after a day like today. Yes, we're getting the results on the board, but we should have been home and dry by now. Then again, H&R did hit the bar and post a couple of times against Chelmsford. So maybe, just maybe, things are slightly turning our way? We'll wait and see, but it's certainly a long time overdue if so.

Enough whinging. We did what we needed to do today, if not particularly spectacularly. There is now nine points up for grabs, and we have four between us and Eastleigh, and as it stands six between us and the Axewounds. OK, they play tomorrow, but all of a sudden they have to beat Braintree. Considering by kickoff time we were just one point in front, it does show you what the margin for error still is. I know we always talk about how we're going to fuck up games, but imagine being Eastleigh or H&R right now.

Yes, I know that might be a step too far for people to take, but put yourself in both their positions right this minute. If you're Eastleigh, you're happy with beating Bromley today, but by five o'clock you saw the points gap widen from just one to four. Psychologically, you basically have to win two more games than the team at the top. And now you've only got three left. Granted, you're at Bognor on Monday, and you should win that. But hang on - didn't Chelmsford come a cropper against exactly the same team at exactly the same venue? It's also worth remembering that you have a habit of losing to teams near the bottom as well.

And if you're H&R right now? This time last week, you were one game away from being level on points with the top team. You're now six points adrift. Yes, you have that game in hand again, and you should get three points back. But what if you don't? Right this very minute, the slight doubts might be creeping in. What if suddenly your tactic (singular) doesn't pay off? What if, Satan forbid, you start doing what the team at the top did a few weeks ago and start turning wins into draws, and draws into losses? Just needs one more poor performance and a result to match and your title chasing could be over PDQ.

And, if you're either of those two sides and you're being really, really, really honest with yourself - you've had a helluva lot of luck in your recent runs of form haven't you? Maybe not quite so much Eastleigh, although that dubious handball goal really has pushed the envelope somewhat. You've done well, in fact you've done very well. You're still in with a title shot. But you have to keep it going almost as much as the team on top does now. You are now under pressure, probably for the first time this season. And pressure is something that it takes getting used to if you're not accustomed to it.

As far as we're concerned though, it's another three points....

Plus points: We won. Clean sheet. At a vital time of the season. Proverbial banana skin avoided. Without our first choice XI starting. JP not having that much to do.

Minus points: Shit game. Shit weather. Shit nerves.

The referee's a....: Better than some I suppose. But really, if he and his assistants keep missing things like shoves in the back and handballs, what chance do you really have? Somebody today mentioned Steven Cook (remember him?), and how well he's progressed from this level and below. To be honest, you can see why he's progressed so quickly...

Them: They were on a bit of form recently, weren't they? I can see why they could cause problems, although they were only going to score if we let them, if that makes any sense. Fair amount of them turned up, almost as many as they get at home ;) Didn't realise their manager was Frank Gray, who played against us for Lids in the 1975 FA Cup tie. What goes around, and all that.

Point to ponder: Don't get me wrong, we've needed his ability to be selected for the past month, and he's done a good enough job. But would it be fair to say that Kezie Ibe perhaps didn't quite set the place alight as maybe he should? It was clear he didn't gel with JM that well, and it was Kedwell that made him motor a bit more today. I guess getting a striker on loan is a hard thing in itself, especially as they are expected to score goals without knowing too much of how a team players, who supplies the crosses/passes etc. One does wonder if we'll end up with another Kedwell-esque signing come the summer. Ironically, I'm off to Stevenage v Ebbsfleet tomorrow where Ibe might be in the Fleet squad again. Be something if he scores a hat-trick.

Meet the manager: TB's post-match interview streamed below. Or if it doesn't work for whatever reason, you can get the file here. Apologies for the "thumping", that's happening a bit more often for some reason. I think my dictaphone is starting to wear out...

To be honest, there's not really much he could say. I suppose he was quite brave to not play Leberl/DK/Lee, although it's "brave" because we won. I've no idea what his previous title winning campaigns with Hayes (not Yeading) and Aldershot were like in the run in, but I wonder if he had to deal with a squad before that is just about keeping going? If he has, he'll certainly need all his experience...

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Crowd of 4136. And here was me thinking the hoohar of the 3.05pm kickoff would depress our crowd below 3000. Proves that it didn't really matter in the end. (2) The Wombelles. No further comment necessary. (3) Speaking of which, when they played that Nolans song, Tintin Haydon and the Basingstoke thingy started dancing about to it. It was a bit on the gay side, you have to admit, and they seemed a bit too friendly towards each other during the half time shootout... (4) Quite a few people wearing Surrey CC garb (ie caps, coats). I'm not the world's biggest cricket fan, but don't you think it's a bit early to start wearing that sort of stuff? The season hasn't finished yet, unfortunately (5) Spotted - Dave Anderson and Paul Lorraine. Hmm...

Anything else? Not really, if truth be told. Right now, you've practically suspended just about every other aspect to do with AFCW. It's all focusing on three more points on Monday along with slipups elsewhere. Today was a means to an end, nobody is getting carried away. This is going to be one helluva fortnight...

So, was it worth it? Hope so.

In a nutshell: Another vital three points....

---

9 April 2009

It's the last day before the Biggest Weekend Of The Season So Far. A period of three days that will go a long, long way to determine whether we're at Oxford or Dorchester next season.

Quite exciting isn't it?

First things first though - don't expect too much of a report from the Basingstoke game tomorrow. I've got to work on Saturday, which means research Friday night. So no complaining, unless you're prepared to pay me for doing this....

Second things second. Whatever else TB has said to the players this week, I hope that he's told them to concentrate 20000000000000% on the game tomorrow. This is a should-win, but it's also the sort of game that can cost titles if you're not careful. Can you imagine the mood at 5pm if we come away from KM with only a draw or, dare I say it, a loss? Especially when Eastleigh inevitably pick up yet another three points against Bromley earlier in the day...

To be fair though, there's been no obvious outward sign that people are getting carried away this week. I think everyone at the club knows the task in hand, and what the rewards are at the end of it. We've gotten all this way in the season, we're still top by two games and you just feel we don't want to blow this. I wonder if the wretched month of March is still playing in the back of peoples' minds?

Even after Chelmsford earnt the love and appreciation of Wombles everywhere on Monday night, there was a pang of "let's not blow this" soon afterwards. Yes, the Eastleigh handball incident still rankles even now, but after everything that's happened in the last month, we're still in the driving seat. Win tomorrow, and do the same on Easter Monday, and the pressure switches to the chasing pack. Neither H&R or Eastleigh can afford to slip up this weekend. The Axewounds certainly suffered a big blow at Melbourne Park, and we now have a great opportunity to start giving them a shit weekend for a change.

Funnily enough though, I can't help thinking about Eastleigh. We seem to focus so much on H&R that we could still have a nasty shock from the volleyball team if we're not careful. Their run-in is a lot easier than even ours. Though one wonders - and certainly hopes - that their increasing cockyness will backfire on them. The Conf South this season certainly has a habit of doing that to teams with mouthy fans - ask Chelmsford. And ourselves.

In all honesty, we're best off concentrating on ourselves. It really is a case of, three wins or two wins and two draws to guarantee the title. That's how close it is, and that's how close we are to mucking up if we're not careful. Believe it or not, we could actually win the title on Monday. It would mean that we would have to win tomorrow and on Monday, Eastleigh to only pick up three points over Easter and H&R to not win either game. And it's extremely unlikely. But if it did happen, you couldn't help but think it would be a little bit of what we deserve...

But forget that scenario. Seriously, just forget it. The phrase "next day delivery" has never sounded so apt in this context.

Speaking of tomorrow, there's been a bit of hoo-har about the game kicking off at 3.05pm. Basically, it's Good Friday and apparently some bearded bloke got crucified at about that time. Now, being one who prefers Anton LaVey's version of the bible, I personally couldn't a shit about this. But obviously people do, and it's got some of them right het up. It's always a difficult subject, religion - yes, Good Friday is a day off, but there isn't one in Ireland. And that's a bit more religious (though thankfully declining) than this side of the Irish sea. Interesting to note that Eastleigh are kicking off earlier, and a couple of other games are to. What I don't get is, we kicked off at 3pm last Good Friday....

Anyway, enough has been said and written about. We don't seem to be living on our nerves again this week, maybe because we know we have to perform now. One thing is certain - if you don't win these sort of games, you don't deserve to go up...

---

5 April 2009

It's OK, you can breath a sigh of relief now.

If truth be told, I never thought that we'd lose against Team Barf, although when you've been having a run of form like we've had, you'll accept anything. From watching the Youtube highlights, it struck me that while we played well enough to win, we'll need to keep improving to get these three more wins that will probably get us up. Team Barf certainly looked ordinary, and I can see Basingstoke and especially Bromley giving us more of a game.

That said, I think there's a sense of "job done" from yesterday. Nobody is thankfully getting carried away - it looked like a performance by a team which has won just once in the last month, but is quite possibly finding its feet again. There's an expectation that by the time Good Friday comes around, we'll be level on points at the top - H&R are playing Chelmsford tomorrow, and as this season constantly proves, the results you want and expect aren't always the ones you get.

Or is it a foregone conclusion? By the sound of it, Chelmsford are starting to pick up form, and comments from yesterday at Dorchester suggested that the Axewounds "rode their luck". Mind you, it was a local so chances are they played like champions. Remember, they (H&R and Eastleigh) have to keep winning...

As do we. One thing that should help us is knowing that the finish line is in sight. Even if H&R do win tomorrow, we're still top, and without any further games in hand to contend with. Then it becomes a case of who blinks first. Will it be us? Time will tell, but consider this. This past month, we've had to put up with illegal goals and last minute winners at our expense (direct or indirect). If any team now is due a bit of good fortune, it's us. Where's our last minute goals in our favour? Where's our handball goal that is allowed?

It's quite possible of course that we won't get them at all. Our attitude now has to be, assume nothing. Don't assume that we'll automatically get these three wins - they'll be the hardest three wins of the season. Don't assume that we'll get a last minute goal that gets us a win - if H&R continue to get them, then they're fated to win the title. Though I firmly believe that we're the best side all-round this season. Don't assume that a referee is going to give us the benefit of the doubt in any of our next four games - as their growing reputation testifies, Eastleigh do all right by cheating. Dishonesty not only pays in football but is almost actively encouraged. One only has to remember 28/5/02 to realise that.

Yes, it's not fair. But life isn't fair. Football certainly isn't. We have to go into Basingstoke, and Bromley, and H&R and St Albans if need be, with the attitude that everyone is conspiring against us. If, if, if, if, if we get a break, then it's a massive bonus. But like all bonuses, you shouldn't expect it. The hard work has always been there, but this next four games will be the hardest of the lot. Be warned.

 

Anyway, I'll let Dan take it further..

 

Phew.
 
One down, four to go and we're still top of the league. For a while yesterday afternoon, after the second goal had gone in and the sun was still shining down, you could almost believe that everything was going to be ok. That those games in January and Febuary hadn't been a blip. That this recent spate of games had just been a chastening to our more spirited fans and that yes, we were still going to be the champions. But then as we all trickled out of the ground, the tannoy announced the inevitable. That Chumpton and Richmond had won 1-0 again. And the fear come came flooding back. Damn them. Damn them and their flukey 1-0 wins.
 
 
Plus Points: Well, the three that keep us top of the league for a start. H&R do still have a game in hand, but it's against Chelmsford, so it's no gimme.
 
The points aside there were a couple of strong performances yesterday that deserve a mention.
 
Conroy. Seems to be a real (re-)discovery. Strong defensively and clearly loves running up the line. Had a few nice little one-touch interplays with Kedwell in the second half and his cross for the crucial first goal was inch perfect.
 
Davis. More dangerous than dainty. Really flung himself about and could (probably should) have been booked for a Rooney-esque lunge on one of their players in the first half. Scored the second goal. Won man of the match. Won't even need the tanning lotion if this weather keeps up.
 
Kedwell. What injury? Largely by-passed in the first half when he was employed at the top of Terry's diamond, but really began bossing it in the second when put back up front. His confidence and energy had a real effect on the team.
 
Our defence. Looked good yesterday. Leberl and Judge clearly work well together, although you could argue that the students made them look good. The only real shot they had in the whole match was a weakly attempted lob which Pullen plucked out of the air with ease.  
 
Finn. Deserves a quick mention. Only came on for the last 15 but looked well up for it yesterday. Lots of purposeful running, shot off the post and his twisty run into the box cross led to the second goal.
 
 
Minus Points:  Whisper it, but Main looked pretty sluggish yesterday. Ok, so he always looks sluggish and then bangs two goals in, but he just didn't look that up for it. Maybe that's harsh, as the balls to him often weren't great, but he certainly lacks confidence as his first touch was poor and whenever a ball did find him in the box he just looked like he was waiting to be tackled. It wasn't that surprising that when he came off (for Finny) we went on to score a second.
 
Maybe it's time to give him a rest and start with Kedwell and Ibe? Or Finn? Main is still a dangerous striker and it goes without saying that we wouldn't be top without him, but he really looked like a man out of sorts. 
 
Anything else? Oh yeah, Chumpton won again. But then who didn't expect that?
 
The referee's a...: Student, judging by his haircut. One of those trendy sideways ones. He wasn't great, but at least he didn't allow any blatent handball goals, so better than some.
 
 
Them: Pretty poor to be honest. Didn't manage a shot on goal until the second half. If we'd played them during the glory months of January and Febuary we'd have destroyed them. They could hassle and pass it around neatly in midfield, but seemed to have absolutely nothing up-front. Must be odd for them playing in front of a crowd for a change.
 
Best bit of abuse from the crowd: "Oi you! Leave my ketchup alone!" [SW19 editor's note : eh?]
 
Us: Better. We looked up for and whilst we didn't exactly ooze confidence, we at least played with a lot of energy. The crowd we're warmly clapped off before kick off and responded to it well, the first ten minutes of the match being played at a blistering pace.
 
Terry used Kedwell in the place of Godfrey at the top of his diamond, with Main and Ibe just in front of him, which gave us a very attacking look. It fell down largely because we kept playing balls over the top, for Ibe and Main to run onto, so Kedwell couldn't really get involved in his normal blood and thunder way.
 
Davis flung himself about with more gusto, Lee was class (particularly his pass for the first goal) and only Hatton and Main were a little anonymous.
 
 
So, was it worth it? Course it was. After yesterday's game I found myself really looking forward to the Hampton game, rather than dreading it. And the sun was shining.
 
Point to ponder: Chelmsford turned around their recent run of bad form with a 2-0 win against Worcester and I actually think that's a good thing. They play HnR on Monday and if they can take confidence from their win maybe they can knock the stuffing out of them. Even a draw would help.
 
Truth is stranger than fiction: It may be nothing, but as he was wombling around the pitch Haydon grabbed my notepad and wrote 'Goal Dons'. 3 minutes later Ibe was poking home our first. Does the little man know something we don't? Next week I'm going to get him to write 'Bomb on Hampton team coach'.  
 
In a nutshell: Maybe, just maybe.

---

1 April 2009

Thank fuck I don't have to write "March 2009" any more.

No, there wasn't an Eastleigh report. I was at Barnet, and nobody bothered to step up to the plate to do one for me. Surprisingly, for once nobody moaned at there not being one by 5.01pm. Though I expect everyone was still seething over their first "goal" which was a premature April Fools joke. And not a particularly funny one at that.

In a way, I'm suppose I'm glad there wasn't anything to read. A must-win game where we lost, H&R yet again scoring winners with about 3 minutes left, Inns getting sent off and THAT goal. I can't recall AFCW ever doing something like posting a slo-mo of the handball on the official site. Will it backfire? It's not like people will suddenly change their perceptions of us by doing so, and our form isn't good enough to make it one of Rafa Benitez's "facts" type rants. You remember, when he came on with that bizzare press conference he did and the Scousers suddenly found they were slumping...

It's clear that AFCW themselves think "fuck it". Posting it up is a clear ruse to rouse up our support for Saturday and beyond. And something I support 200000000000000000%,

Since I wrote that, the club have taken it off the OS. Spoilsports. Still, it's got attention and people have had a little jolt up their arse over it. Job done, I think. It's not as though it won't be back, because the usual highlights package will be up tomorrow. Me, I would have kept it on there...

Even so, the point still stands. Why should we constantly allow ourselves to be the doormat because some people are obsessed with "doing the right thing"? Cheats prosper, especially in non-league football. So let's get nasty, but clever with it. Have "sudden" power cuts to the away dressing room at KM. Do subtle in-yer-face at referees, make them know what will happen if they fuck up at our expense. All the top teams do it. If you're feeling particularly vindictive, try getting hold of the H&R players contact details and put them on child porn webrings. Though I suspect some of our more, ahem, passionate fans think that's the case already...

Now, I don't buy into this theory that such a goal will cost us the title - Welling at KM, Worcester away, CCFC away, the month of March will have all played their part if it came to it. But sitting here in the lull between the storm that calls itself our run-in, I've noticed something I haven't really seen for a while. Basically, people are no longer fearful or apprehensive as they were. They're pissed off. They're pissed off with the manner of our defeat on Saturday. They're pissed off because they feel that the Football Gods are conspiring against them. And they're pissed off at how outright shit we've been last month.

See, I'm writing this today because as far as I'm concerned it's a new chapter for this season. Calendar months always seem to do that - it shouldn't make sense but it does. We are now in the business end of the season, and I mean the real fuck-up-now-and-you're dead period. Let's go through the blatantly obvious...

We are not championship material right now. The initial reactions after Saturday were that we were poor, off the pace, looking like we just wanted the season to end. What's that sound? Choke choke choke choke choke - it sounds like an old car but is in fact AFCW's usual run-in. Last year we did exactly the same, and I don't remember the season before that being much different.

Yet in the space of a few days, that's changed. People aren't thinking about how poor we've been, they're thinking about getting back on track. Refocusing, if you prefer. It's almost as if the outright shit that we were "treated" to from Eastleigh/Welling/St Albans/WSM (I don't really count Havant as we were due that performance) didn't happen. It's anger. It's frustration. But it's also a wakeup call.

Continuing on the statement of the bleeding obvious, at least it's shut the gobshites up who kept mouthing off about "WHEN we win the league". Best cancel the champagne, eh? It's one of sports unwritten rules that if you act like a mouthy twat with still a lot of the season still to go, your arse gets bitten. And especially at this level where (trust me on this) the reaction of people filters through to the players a lot more than you think. For a lot of last month the team played like they'd already won the title, helped by all the braying that was going on. Now, we've had to refocus on getting even a single point. My advice to anyone who's tempted to act the cunt should we have a decent weekend is this - keep your head in your arse until the season ends. We've got a title to win, and your silence will help us towards that. Humility doesn't hurt.

There's more. Even now, it's still in our hands. It's a lot tighter than it should be, but it's still up to us to finish the job. Remember, H&R do have to keep winning, this month more than ever. Yes, I know that's exactly what they're doing, but this is where we can apply real proper pressure on them, which we hadn't exactly done last month. Recently, they've been under little testing circumstances whatsoever - though when they have had an opportunity (Newport springs to mind) they have fucked up. Let's not forget that. Alan Devonshire has constantly stated that he's not interested in what we do, just how they do. And that's why they've been getting an unhealthy amount of last minute winners.

See, they don't have 42 cup finals a season to contend with. The average CS game not involving us (and I've been to more than a couple) are relatively low-key affairs compared to ours. But if we start winning games again, we're saying to them to perform when it really matters. You want to take the top spot? Fight us for it (and that means we have to fight as well, by the way. Not do our usual surrender because we don't really fancy it). They may still keep winning, but they know they also can't afford to slip up. If they have an April like we had in March, they'll be fucked for the playoffs too. And let's not forget Eastleigh not only breathing down our necks but theirs as well. Nobody in the top three can play silly buggers now. One hopes our month of madness is out of our system...

Yes, the pressure is still solely on us. It's on AFCW every single day of the year to perform. If nothing else, we should be used to it by now, and we should have the mental strength to play just those five remaining games and get wins out of them. Or at least match H&R and Eastleigh every single game. I spoke some while ago about the demoralisation principle, whereby our own results will have a mental affect on those chasing us. Well, if we start applying that the others find out they have a handful of games left to catch us up.

The most blatantly obvious factor isn't perhaps so obvious after all. If we've slipped six points in the space of nine days, it just proves that there's still many a twist and turn to come. There is at least one major one to happen, probably two. It could be an unexpected loss, a last minute penalty, a goal off a defender's scrotum, you name it. And not necessarily at our expense, either. Something is going to happen, though what it is we don't yet know.

We are certainly due a good run of form. We're not a bad side, far from it. But we're a side that has been kicked in the mental bollocks a lot recently, and the self-doubt has started to take hold. Should we beat Team Barf on Saturday, and that won't be easy, the rot has stopped at least temporarily. If we don't though, I shudder to think what will happen. It could destroy us mentally for this season - never underestimate the psychological damage seeing your name not at the top after working so damn hard for it at such a late stage.

Given the way this season has gone, one does suspect we're on the up. Again, people are a bit more buoyant since Eastleigh than they have been since after the Chelmsford game. Against Welling and Eastleigh, when the chips were down, we really did go for it. A bit of luck here and there and we would have got two extra points. And how we could do with them right now. I think that's what's giving people hope - you know that something is coming up for us. If you've watched football for any proper length of time, you get that sixth sense. People's reactions this week, including Elliott Godfrey, point towards that a bit.

It's perfectly possible that Team Barf will be yet another game like Welling or Eastleigh. It's also perfectly possible that it could be settled by a last minute penalty by Jon Main. But don't discount an absolute stuffing by us. We're due a win at some point. We're also due a good performace. But somehow you think somebody is going to "get it". You know the kind of thing, if it was a movie ordered by Jacqui Smith's husband, it would involve extreme double anal fisting. We need results and quick. But we also need to make somebody wince in the process.

Guess we'll wait and see. We must work a million times harder than we have done this season. Strangely, we might be better off dealing with a three point advantage than a nine point one right now, because we have to focus. I can't help thinking that February and March were such painful months because we were having to dig deeper than deep but with no obvious finishing line in sight. Well, now it is. It's tantilisingly close. Yet still a bit too far away to get the maps for Oxford out.

Still, in the run-in we'll now have Rocky Baptiste to help us along. Got to say, I was hoping for backup in the centre back position, now that Inns made a stupid comment at the wrong time and Jason Goodliffe needs three weeks recovery after every game. I don't really fancy Michael Peacock having to get thrown in at the deep end. But at least Baptiste's signing is a real statement of intent. OK, he's 36 and perhaps not had his best season, but then DK was doing pretty badly at Grays before he joined us. No doubt the words "John Fashanu signing" will have already been uttered. One only hopes it isn't the Aston Villa version, that of a broken down lump of muscle that moved for just one more big pay day.

Interesting that TB has gone for him, and not just for the following comments:

"I specifically targeted players who are experienced and could come straight in and deal with a cup final atmosphere - in other words players with experience and a big match temperament."

Is DK's season over? Or to be more accurate, is playing him for 90 minutes for five more games of the season out of the question? One has to wonder that, although even if we can get Kedwell as a supersub will at least give us some more options.

At least it proves we're not fucking about....