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NEWS
30 August 2003
It's
getting a bit too easy now isn't it? In the head-on collision that
was Top Of The Pops 3 CD:UK 0 we saw probably a side that has
never been so settled in a long while. Despite not playing that well
- overhit a few, and generally not as sharp as previous games, we
came across the banana skin that called itself NGU, stopped, bent
over, picked it up and disposed of it in the nearest bin. Like any
good Womble would do. We have a new goalkeeper who's shot stopping
looked as good as anyone else who's worn the AFCW green. Sadly, his
kicking's as shite as anyone else's. The game? Well, it could have
easily been a 0-0 bore draw until KC popped up in the second half
to get us all going. Unlike last week at W2K, the coward refused to
use his head. Git.
It was from then on in that the screw turned and the tension was released. NGU - who had a couple of shots but not that much - were being totally over-run. KC netted again and really the game was over from then. NGU looked increasingly naggered and it was no real surprise when Ryan "Fade To" Gray followed up with a rebound. Still top, still looking like promotion is a cert by October........
Onto...
Plus points: A win. Three points. 100% record intact. Clean sheet for the first time since the last ice age. Excellent performances all round. Kept going beyond first two goals.
Minus points: D. Fence.
The referee's a ........ : Never had him before, not knowingly anyway. Bit of a dick, missed a couple and didn't play the advantage when he should have. Typical CCL standard. First referee since the Young Kid to not have grey hair. Victim of a rather strange insult by TT : "Blind tea cup". And people think I'm mad...
Them: CCL wise, they're a good side, though our fitness came through. Their goalie was pretty good, even if he looked a beanpole, and deservedly got the MOTM/applause at the end. Wonder if it was a coded message for TE to sign him?. Their #4 and #7 looked like they played in Saxon.
Der Volkstadion: Look, it's still Kingsmeadow, not the bloody Fans Stadium. Anyway, the permanent catering sites were back again, no hot food down the Hardcore Athletics End though. Tea tasted like the usual dishwater but unlike the PG Tips from the vans at least it wasn't £1. The debut of Y&B corner flags showed intent, though an interesting conversation with somebody I've never met before (apologies, didn't catch your name) suggests that more Y&B will be coming soon...
His
Masters Voice: Good
anti-MK one today : "I'd rather die than Milton Keynes".
Other than that, usual fayre, though in a day for strange quips, we
got a "He loves his salad" or something. Must be a full
moon ATM. Didn't think I heard the CS song, though "We're gonna
win the League" was heard. Main Stand got animated, though I
think somebody dropped their tea-flask all over their Daily Telegraph.
Point to ponder: How good are we at keeping on-side?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Having the Franchise score read out and nobody caring. They lost 3-0 in front of 2000 Reading fans today BTW. (2) 2.7k there. Very good considering I was one of those thinking attendance would drop by a couple of hundred this season. Glad to be proved wrong. (3) DT open meeting attended by about 15 people and was "very constructive". No bloodshed as yet.
Anything else? Aye - those advertising hoardings. Especially the Merton one - now, you can take two schools of thought over this : one, we shouldn't be doing anything more with LBM, we have a foothold in Kingston, Casale is a wanker etc etc. The second one, the line that SW19 takes disagrees with all that (except the bit about Casale) : I think we need to keep at it with Merton. I surely cannot be the only one who thinks that the club isn't "complete" without moving back 1.5 miles eastward. Remember, we are owed a ground in Merton, LBM let Hammam fuck us over and this is only a minute payback. Anyone who wants to query my "reality" will have to first go through the levels of bitterness that still remains. Still waters run deep. Very deep.
So, was it worth it? Yes, and I haven't even felt the need to slag off those wearing fluorescent "Helper" jackets yet
In a nutshell: Let's smash the Vase up
25 August 2003
Revenge
is sweet. Or Willdive 2 Willpower 4 was anyway. It was basically
the similar story as Southall : blow them away Arsenil-like for the
first 20 minutes, switch off until they score, go up a gear or two
to make it look more like the thrashing it really is and yet still
fall asleep towards the end. The massive story for those who weren't
there is Kevin Cooper scoring with his head. Yes, after a season of
it becoming a music hall joke, along he popped up after a decent cross
in. He went mental apparently : I said "apparently" as we
weren't being reserved ourselves. JS did likewise - celebrations not
so mental. Petered out until they scored, we sort of almost let them
into it again before Wade and whoever scored our third restored an
accuracy in the scoreline. Oh, and they shot a 30 yarder for theirs.
Sufficient match report for you? Good, here's....
Plus points: 100% record in the league. 20 minutes sublime again. Looked very determined to right last season's wrongs. When it gets going, our attack tears most teams apart. Nice to see a wide range of scorers again. Kevin Cooper scoring with his head.
Minus points: See Southall report. Mind you, apparently, we are depleted...
The referee's a ...... : Oh good grief. He made the Southall one look like somebody who knew the rules of the game. Basically speaking he was a bottle job. He gave advantage where there wasn't advantage. He blowed up when he shouldn't have blowed up. He made petty little decisions. He didn't send off their player for an assault on Merry. He would have given the W2K players head in the half time recess, though was so incompetent he ended up sucking their toe instead.
Them: After they lost their players to Worthing, due to them not getting promoted, one would feel sympathic towards W2K. However, and strangely enough, nobody does. In fact, singing "Going Down" and "Bye Bye Withdean" shows a distinct lack of compassion that is rarely displayed in such a middle-class bunch of wooly liberals that about 95% of our fanbase are. SW19 on the other hand says fuck them. If Southall were the front line of on-pitch thuggery then W2K are proving themselves to be the infiltration factions. When they were 4-1 down, they decided it was pointless kicking the ball so they kicked our players instead.
Worthing: It's not a bad little place to be fair, full of old people though. Woman in the Wimpy probably thought I was some dark, moody, brooding, talented and wealthy writer as I sat in true journo style writing up the match report before the match started. And her powers of perception were wonderfully accurate. Minus the "talented" bit. And the "wealthy".
Fight night: Towards the end, there was a rather public scuffle involving two of our more pugalistically minded supporters. Some punching and a flooring (with W2K style kicking) but it all passed off peacefully. Rather strangely, one of those breaking up the fight was a Mr T Walgaar. How the mighty have, er, fallen.
Sing, sing, sing: Apart from the above mentioned relegation chants, a couple today. "One head to the Wimbledon" after Cooper's bonce opened the scoring. And "Pub team from Brighton", which must have gone down REALLY well. Bit quiet otherwise, I think last night's exploits in Brighton took its toll. Especially on those who found a bed..
Point to ponder: When he goes, aren't we going to miss Kevin Cooper or what?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Kevin Cooper scoring with his head. I shall repeat that in case you didn't get it the last few times. Kevin Cooper scoring with his head. Watch him do utterly shite with his feet from now on. (2) "Netley Abbey Tartan Army" advertising hoarding around the ground, complete with St Andrews Cross to boot. Explanation greatly appreciated. (3) The speed of the third goal, or as described by somebody on high, "It was in slow motion".
Anything else? I dunno, is there? Oh yeah, reportedly just over 1k there, which will give those who like to shit-stir a cause to think our attendances are slipping.
So, was it worth it? Even the fact that it started raining didn't dampen things.
In a nutshell: Ha.
23 August 2003
Are you able to read this? Good :) Expect some more upheaval on the SW19 front for a little while yet, hopefully not long to go now. If you want to know the problem, basically it's something to do with permissions and web domain transfers not doing like what they should. Please be patient.
And
speaking of being patient, looks like those three non-victories last
year was sufficient motivation to make it Stuart Hall 4 Southall
2. Let's face it, on the performance of the first 20 minutes,
it should have been at least 10-0. Indeed, as the bloke near me said,
win 17-0 and we would have been top (as it turns out, we are
top), though he did also say he would have been POed with a 16-0 victory.
Quite. Needless to say, we were 3-0 up after 20 minutes - Sheerin
and Cooper (with penalty) supplying the honours. After that, and presumably
with Willdive 2K at a stupid time on Monday on everyone's mind, we
eased off. Enough to let Southall come back in with a bicycle kick.
Second half petered out
into tedium, though Ryan Gray's flukey as fuck skillfull cross-cum-shot
made it 4-1. Then came Sucidal Defending : the sequel. Utterly shite
backpass and it was 4-2. Bit flattering, and really we should not
only be doing these teams, but we should be bending them over, dropping
our trousers and giving them a good nailing from behind to boot. Never
mind, at least we're top.
Onto....
Plus points: Win. Against a bogey team. Attack looks sharp. First 20 minutes were sublime. KC coming back makes all the difference.
Minus points: Sorry, but even the UN building in Baghdad has better defensive qualities.
The referee's a ........ : During the game, I made a challenge to describe the referee in such a way that he has never been described before. The best - scrap that, the only - response is "good". And that's how it was. He was described as being dirtier than what Southall were the previous times we met them, and that's best left at that.
Them: Having spent half the MoD's budget on protecting ourselves against them, they were relatively serene today. Couple of nasty challenges, including one elbow, but that's probably no different to most CCL games. Could have threatened to kick off, which just shows that there is still a "competitive" nature to them.... Oh, and their goalkeeper couldn't handle the ball.
Weather with you: Yoikes, was it humid or what? Everyone felt a bit sticky, and nope, I'm not referring to the aftermath of the mass orgy that happened on Weds (see below)
Chants would be a fine thing: Some good ones from the West Bank for once : "Same old Southall, always cheating" shows we finally have a rivalry or two brewing. "Can we play you every week" was another, and then some legitmate funnies. "Keeper, give us a wave" followed by a "Just because you're losing" after said keeper refused to play along. "Does your mother know your dad?" was another. CS, anti-Chelski made up the rest of the playlist.
Point to ponder: I'm sure our attendances are dropping. I got there in the SW19mobile at 2pm and got a near-as-dammit car parking space on the field. 2510 at KM is OK but still not totally wonderful. Then again, it is holiday time still for some people (there were spaces in the Main Stand which is supposedly full up with STs) so I suppose that the obituaries for our crowd support will have to wait until September.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Playing Southall and having less than 11 casualties. (2) The Southall keeper with the big "BHS" on the front of his shirt. Was the only Southall player with such a logo as well, which meant he probably got it in the recent massive sale they were having. (3) How embarrased do you think that missing kid was today? You know, the one that was over the PA asking for his mum. OK, the poor kid was probably a bit scared, but to quote, "he's probably in the bar".
Franchise watch: 6k there today, of which 5700 must have been Palace fans. Although his style of play maybe wasn't entirely suited to us, and he wasn't my favourite, it was rather pleasing to see Michael Hughes score the winner.
Anything else? Yeah, aren't Leon White and John Gayle separated at birth? Difference being that at least Leon White never pretended to be a professional footballer
So, was it worth it? First 20 minutes were worth it on its own
In a nutshell: W2K, you're next.....
21 August 2003 [AM EDITION]
Ruddy
heck. If you had forgotten what football can do to you, then Rock
N Roll 3 Cheese Roll 2 jogged your memory and probably your ticker
as well. If you remember the games last season (as was pointed out
to me somewhat prophetically after we went 2-0 down last nite) and
games like the West Ham/Villa 4-3 victories all them years ago, it
was like that. Now, euphoria aside, we have clearly some problems
: I missed our first goal as I was just coming from the bar, but from
what I did see our GK did a Simon Tracey-esque howler. And that can't
be good. Second goal for them was basically our defence being out-passed
left, right and centre (almost literally) and to be honest I was sorely
tempted to slink back to the bar and watch the England game. Yup,
that bad
To be fair, despite our defence being as useful as a GCSE, we were attacking. Granted, we were getting in there but the usual accuracy (lack thereof) was going to cause a problem. Still, we did most of the running for the second half and finally their GK fucked up for our first goal. And without wishing to be smug, after we scored I did have a gut feeling that we'd come back from this. And sure enough, after increasing amounts of niggleness (topped with liberal dashings of pettyness) we equalised. Forget when and how the goal was scored, but from then on in, I knew we would do it. Honest. Sure enough, with full time approaching, JS did the honours for us, and this was considered an excuse for a mass orgy. We really did look like we could have scored a 4th (I'm referring to the game again, not the orgy). Still, we didn't, but who cares?
Anyway, enough description about the game, here's....
Plus points: We won. Spirited fightback. Played well attacking wise. JS having his scoring boots on. KC looking good after coming off bench.
Minus points: Defence. Goalie. Nuff zed.
The referee's a...... : And after the relatively good performance by the MIB on Saturday, we were bought back to the usual basement levels of banality and incompetence. Actually, scrub that last description - he was fucking shite, a complete cunt, his mum and dad should be shot for producing such a worthless specimen, and the RNIB should force him to take his labrador on the pitch in future. Come to think of it, the mutt has a better grip of the rules of the game. The plea of "Open your fucking eyes ref" is a good synopsis of his so-called performance. The booking of JS for a world-class tackle sort of summed it up.
Them: No cheese rolls, thankfully. Their chairman was having an op so he wasn't there. They basically ran out of steam, though their #7 was a niggly little arse bandit.
Quotes: (1) "I should have stated at home, there's a George Clooney film on" - TT, when we were 2-0 down. Yes, but is Mr Clooney as adept at coming from behind as we are? On second thoughts, don't answer that. (2) "Words cannot describe it" - half time comment by nearby bloke on his phone. (3) "11 subs coming on in a minute" - yet another half time comment, which gives you an idea of the level of desperation at this stage.
Point to ponder: Or rather, an observation. Wasn't it funny that there was little booing at half time? Some applause as well. Polite applause granted, but still applause. As they say in an ex-colony, go figure.
Your song: Champagne Song. Few anti-MK chants. Usual over-hyped West Bank bollocks :) The hardcore Athletics End did come up with the bizzare "Pub team from Gatwick" to Mertsham. Apparently, there was some cries of "poof" and "faggot" to the Mertsham keeper as well in the first half. Didn't hear them, and not being the PC sort I don't take that much offence to those sort of comments. It's done purely to put the goalie off, and if anyone is still POed by the homophobic nature, just remember that the average psychologist considers gay-bashing to be a form of repressed sexuality.
Point to ponder, part deux: Are we suffering from an age-old Wimbledon problem, mainly we can raise it for the Watford/Luton/Ryman team games but go into lethargy for the Mersthams? If we have any pretence to be as good as we say we are, we really need to change our attitude. We should really be whupping teams 5-0 each week. Worst thing is, I know they're capable of doing that. Remember, we are a big club....
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) 2-0 down and 3-2 up, do dah, do dah etc (2) The ladies team getting wolf-whistled at half time. I'm sure you can make your own comment about stiffening defences. (3) Did the Main Stand get excited TWICE last night? Obviously their thermos flasks were laced with an extra spoonful of sugar. (4) And was that the John Smiths stand making a murmur as well? Hope them and the Main Stand never have a singing contest one day, it could almost rival a Franchise game. I said "almost"... (5) Various scabs walking around with nametags to show who they are. Yes, I know it's for security reasons, but hey, AFCW is getting more and more corporate each day (disclaimer: that last comment was a joke. I think).
Anything else? Yeah, my pen stopped working again and I ended up doing violent things to it before it eventually flowed out. Apparently, there's a writing implement that is guaranteed to work under most conditions - it's called a "pencil" though I don't think it will ever catch on.
So was it worth it? It was, though whether the increased risk of heart attacks caused by such performances is worth it I have no idea.
In a nutshell: Why can't we have an easy game next week?
16 August 2003
Hooray.
It's back. Everyone start jumping for joy. Yup, Pop Idol has returned
and aren't we grateful? Lots of gormless fuckwits attempting to sing,
with those who can somehow hold a tune signed up to corporate record
companies, performing bland, over-produced musical offal and shifting
loads of heavily-fiddled unit sales to the brain-dead and musically
retarded Great British Moronic Public before being sent to Turkey
as kidney donors when the next bunch of hopefuls (and hopeless) get
their chance. Oh, and the CCL started again, and wasn't Seagrave
Haulage 0 Travis Perkins 2 the start we needed? This could have
been a big banana skin, but in fact it turned out pretty comfortable
in the end. Feltham are one of the better teams after all
If the truth was known, this was about a 5-0 or 6-0 scoreline (to us, of course), but our shooting was about as useful as Idi Amin's 2004 calendar. Still, we did have most of the possession, and when we did score on half time (no, forget finding out who the scorer is) it was no more than we deserved. Second half, despite them sort of coming back into it (well, we let them have a couple of runs on goal) it was basically more of the same. Few easier-to-score-than-miss situations, Matt Everhard spurting delightfully at just the right time and we all went home with satisfied grins on our face.
Enough of all that, it's back to the usual...
Plus points: We won. Away. At a potential landmine. Generally good defensive. Attacking looks very promising
Minus points: Ball. Foot. Goal.
The referee's a....... : Was a little bit slow on making a couple of decisions, but he usually gave them to us. Lenient as well, only really blowing up for the obvious fouls, and even then not getting his cards out. We all would like to see this sort of refereeing to be the norm this season, however as we all know, there's two hopes of that happening. And the other died a couple of weeks ago
Them: It has been six months since the nuclear winter passed over West London, and now the dust clouds have risen from the decaying landscape, the aftermath is apparent. The grass was dry and scorched, the area desolate and unlike last time, there was hardly anybody about. The inhabitants, too scared to come out of their crumbling abodes for fear of another cloudburst (or was that because they knew PISA were in town?), were nowhere to be seen. I thought Feltham had improved just a little bit since I last went, though obviously it hadn't. And just to prove that it's not just us poor souls who survived the first onslaught, I pounced upon an unsuspecting first timer (I have that effect on people) to Feltham to gauge her reaction to the surroundings. Her words? "Surreal".
As for the team, etc, they were a bit lippy as expected, though compared to our bench they're quite quiet. Their players, especially their #9 got a bit of stick. Still, he loved it.
Quotes: "Fucking sodding fucking pen fucking won't sodding fucking write fucking sod cunting fuck". Actual dialog from your humble and esteemed editor after his pen refused to write in the oppressive atmosphere. I apologise to everyone offended by my moderate language.
Planes, trains and automobiles: Aren't planes big? This is one of two fixtures where I totally disregard any pretence of watching the game and instead watch those big flying things in the sky. Judging by at least two other people (nameless) I wasn't the only one. Saw a couple of United, two Aer Lingus, an Air India, lots of BMI and the last times I saw that many Virgins in one place, I was looking at the home section of a Franchise game. Coincidentally, how many of you wished you were on one of those planes? I certainly did....
Song sung blue: No Pop Idol wank today, but PISA were there in force. The CS got a justifiable airing, as did some anti-MK stuff and, in a lovely nostalgic outing, some anti-Chelski ditties as well. And was there an all-too-brief rendition going of "Charlie Koppel sucks a penis, Charlie Koppel sucks a [insert mammal here] penis" before some gits started a louder Wimbledon chant up? Elsewhere, "Cooper Loves His Ginger Hair" was established to the world....
Point to ponder: Personal bugbear here, excuse the rant. Feltham Arena proves to me just why British sport will forever be shite. Opened in 1966 and not touched since then, it's a disgrace. Now, having been in the last 2 years alone to places like France, Germany, Belgium, let alone the US and Canada and seeing their setup for grass-roots stuff, and then compare it to Feltham, it's pretty obvious why these countries do so well and Britain doesn't. Although you could probably put a decent stadium on Feltham anyway, no wonder kids wouldn't want to train on it. The toilets were rank (the ladies toilets apparently were just as bad), the whole thing would have been condemned eons ago. Just look at the old ILEA ground at Morden Park as well. Funding? Christ, perhaps if local authorities didn't waste so much on red tape, lining their own pockets, and whatever else they do with taxpayers money, there would probably enough left over to give decent facilities AND not scrimp back on other forms of local ameneties. And has anyone mentioned tie-ups with local business....?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Our goalie looking like a 1930s baseball player with those knickerbox trousers. (2) Seeing "Stinky Pussy" painted on the side of the changing room pavillion. Methinks it doubles up as the local nightclub. (3) The sand is still on the pitch. Has a half-life of 5000 years, obviously. (4) Those rugger type chappies coming off at Twickers with their polo shirts, poshe accents and expensive continental lager. They even look different to us working class football oiks. (5) Feeling like I was back in Glesga. (6) Standing up in the stand a la Selhurst.....
Franchise FC watch: Oh hell, I said I wouldn't do this. Anyway, they lost in the last minute to Stoke. Guffaw. Elsewhere, Michael Hughes made his debut for Palace and got sent off. He'll go far....
Anything else? Not really, unless the SW19 readership can think of something. Need a killer instinct in front of goal though.
So, was it worth it? Aye
In a nutshell: Life on plastic, it's fantastic.
9 August 2003
For the second time in 8 days, I've taken on a reporting role for SW19's Army to bring you Seeds 1 Saplings 0. Just over a year on from our first game it was time to take stock of our progress, and an unlucky 1-0 reverse against an in-form Sutton first team is a huge step forward from last season's mauling by their reserves/trialists. Rumoured Dons target Andy Iga was in goal for Sutton, raising the prospect of another "Cooper-esque" raid on United's ranks. Terry Eames fielded what appears to be close to his first choice team, with only Cooper (not fully fit) and Bolger (surprise break in Ireland) missing out. After an impeccably observed minutes silence for Ray Harford (RIP, one of the Dons unsung heroes), the game started very slowly with only a Sutton shot that rattled the bar and a 30 yarder from Sidwell that was comfortably saved enlivening the first 20 minutes. As at Newport, the game was played in a competitive spirit and sure enough, after 30 minutes the most impressive massed brawl I've seen for a while was kicked off by a typically robust Bassey challenge. He slid in from the side of the Sutton number 6 and took the ball cleanly a split second before wiping out his standing leg and throwing him 4 feet in the air - I'm not sure if it actually was a foul, but must have hurt. As players from both sides rushed to the scene, the number 6 jumped up and lamped Danny (I think) and all hell broke loose for a few seconds. Once things calmed a little, the ref asked both Daly of Sutton and Daly of AFCW to leave the field and restarted the game once subs were on to take things back to 11 a side. There was still time for Iga to miss a cross, handing a chance to Quinn who scuffed the shot, before half-time came.
The second half started with several Dons subs on the pitch, and a 15 minute purple patch (capped with Dobo Jnr missing with a free-header from 6 yards) saw AFCW look by far the better team. Once Joe went off, Sutton came back into the game and a poor back header from Roger Joseph let a Sutton striker clip in for 1-0. Cooper came on with 15 minutes to go, but despite pressure no real chances were created and the game petered out in the heat. Given that Sutton are a strong team from 2 Divisions above us, it was a very good performance and no one played badly - we only showed our CCL pedigree with a couple of defensive lapses. Good showings from Merry (I'd take him in front of Iga on today's form), Gibson, Favata (my MotM), Sheerin, Sully (particularly on the right) and Grey mean that we should go into the season in great shape.
And now it's on with the show …
Plus points: It was sunny, we looked good enough to play in the Rymans Premier and can still take over 1000 to a local friendly. The team is still improving and the tough pre-season schedule should see us retaining our fitness edge over the rest of the CCL.
Minus points: It was even f***ing hotter than Newport, Sean and Danny still can't seem to stay out of any argy-bargy and we lost.
Quotes: (1) "F**k it !!" - your reporter on the M25 when he remembered that the digital camera was still in Chalfont. Sorry for the "text only" nature of this report. (2) "Whatever you have on you" - Moleking on being asked the price of his latest publication; who says that AFC supporters are being fleeced ! (3) Overheard conversation at half time: "have they announced the crowd yet?" - "I don't think so as I haven't heard my name yet". The PA man had enough trouble with the teams to suggest that if he read 1504 names we would still be there now …
The referee's a ........
: bit wet. Should have taken a stronger line with a couple of
earlier challenges to prevent the brawl from happening, and it seemed
a little random that it was Sean who got removed - although I didn't
have the best view. Fairly anonymous other than that so probably not
too bad.
Them: Will always appreciate their invitation for us to play
our first game there last July. Could have stocked up a bit better
as all the tea bars seemed to run out of cold drinks before half-time,
but I will certainly look forward to coming back again next year if
we repeat the fixture again.
Truth is stranger than fiction: The FA Amateur Cap was left
in Preston because someone dropped it and it needs repairing. Even
Tony Adams dropped Steve Morrow rather than the Cup, so God knows
how that happened. Still, it gave me the chance to see the Jules Rimet
trophy for the first time - the replica given to England in 1966 rather
than the real one that was stolen in Brazil in the 80's and (allegedly)
melted down to make it easier to sell.
Chants would be a fine
thing: A welcome return to a lusty chorus of "Franchise are
losing"; shame it didn't last. Crowd was quite vocal in the Securicor
Terrace in the first half, but things died down later on as the Dons
fans dispersed around the ground and the heat took its toll.
Franchise FC watch: I didn't but REPD did - expect a report from Sellout
from the main man anytime soon. [SW19 - check WISA website when
Ronan recovers from his hangover]
Point to ponder: Would it be worth playing someone a division or two below us pre-season next year just to help remind everyone how to score?
Anything else? It was hot. Damn hot.
So, was it worth it? I expect it was for Terry as Gibson may have played his way into the troublesome right-back spot and everyone else played pretty well too. A nice afternoon out but I can't wait for the real competitive games to start - I'm even looking forward to going to Feltham.
In a nutshell: Did I mention that it was f**king hot?
6 August 2003 [AM EDITION]
Almost
like old times this, isn't it? I said "Almost". Oh well,
I would suppose that Coats 0 Hats 2 is a respectable scoreline,
bearing in mind that this was Luton's first team (who concidentally
had hardly any players left after OGEM and co decided to do their
usual), and yes, apart from shooting as effective as a peacekeeping
force in Liberia, we pretty much held our own. It wasn't the 10-0
stuffing predicted before the game, especially after finding out that
we were more or less playing their first 11. Or 18. Even though it
was a friendly, I'd never seen so many white faces about on hearing
such info. The game? Defended OK, first goal a goalie error, second
goal was apparently them out-thinking us and that was that.
Moving forward...
Plus points: Didn't disgrace. Merry made some good saves (especially with feet).
Minus points: Would have been nice to score
The referee's a ........ : Largely un-noticed by SW19, which is no mean feat. Even gave the advantage to us a couple of times.
Them: No idea what happened at Luton, but needless to say things went very pearshaped there. In fact, their goalie only played 3 first team games or something beforehand. Anyway, no sign of OGEM thankfully, and about 50-100 fans came down from Beds, which even beat the legions of Vile fans last season. Oh, and how many of their players did you recognise? I could only vaguely remember Tony Thorpe (ex-WFC target according to a tabloid I read many moons ago), rest of them aren't probably that well known in their own households.
Any minute now I'm gonna burst into song: The old favourites came out, mainly about what a dump Milton Keynes is. I'm sure some Luton fans joined in as well.
Kingsmead... sorry, Fans Stadium: Leaving aside that the FS is a crap name, I will give the Volkstadion credit here : the Guinness now served is perfectly drinkable and is not that bloody horrible Extra Cold crap. Also, the hardcore Athletics End was 10C lower than anywhere else in the country, so it was nice and pleasant while all else was sweltering.
Quotes: (1) "I never get wound up" - your humble and esteemed editor showing his placid side. Must be the hot weather. (2) "KC would have scored that but he wouldn't have put the tackle in" - TT on yet another bit of wayward shooting. Was he playing BTW?
Point to ponder: Doesn't Ben Chesters sound like a porn star? Seriously, I hope he doesn't do his own coaching video. Can you imagine buying something which says "Ben Chesters penetrates, dribbles and shoots"?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Did we really only lose 2-0 to a professional team? (2) Being privvy to a conversation between two smokers talking about health warnings on cigarette packets. Can't see the point of warnings myself, to quote Denis Leary "These things could kill me? I thought they gave me vitamin C".
Franchise FC watch: All the while they're still annoying the fuck out of me, this topic will remain. They're at SP for a couple more months, which could make life fun. For us anyway. Their first game is this Saturday, at SP against Crewe. Hmm..
Anything else? Yes, reportedly Concannon won't be signing for us, something to do with not being able to get employment down here or something. Shame, those at Carshalton tell me that he was something else. Employment shifts could determine whether Roger "Oooh" Joseph will be donning the Y&B again.
Speaking of Y&B, the company behind it (Five88) has disbanded, so looks like the programme will be of a different format next season. Whether finishing 40th in the best non-league programme (when all concerned felt it should have finished much higher) was the final straw is unknown, but I think they'd done well to get this far. No, I still boycotted it on the basis that it was £2 :) The programme being "sold" yesterday looked nice enough, and if expanded shows a bit of promise..
So was it worth it? Nice pleasant evening out. Guess so.
In a nutshell: What goes round comes round
3 August 2003
Whilst
SW19's very own Man in Black was discovering his Irish roots at a
football match in Glasgow (geography may not be his strong point),
I ventured from the genteel surroundings of Chalfont to the wilds
of the Welsh border country to fill his (admittedly small) boots at
Wales 1 Japanese Harpoonists 1. The Newport Stadium was as
nice as you get at this level except for having an athletics track
to make viewing harder- a sort of pre-apocalypse version of Feltham
with added grass and sunshine. In keeping with our generally good
pre-season form we held our own against opposition two steps higher
up the footballing ladder, with Gavin Bolger netting in the first
half after an inspired counterattack involving Jamie Angell, Wade
Falana, Ally and Sully. Things got a bit heated after that, and my
early scamper to the bar at half time meant that I had a poor view
of a melee that (allegedly) involved Sids head-butting a Newport player
twice - presumably under severe provocation as even Danny O only usually
nuts them once. The second half stayed competitive and Ray Merry made
a couple of good saves before a DO aberration (in an otherwise solid
performance) allowed their striker in to equalise. More substitutions
from each side led to the game petering out, and the kids flocked
back to the bucking rodeo ride during the last five minutes.
Well, its onto the sound bites you've all been waiting for …
Plus points: It was sunny, the bar had real glass glasses and
we didn't lose. The team is shaping up nicely and whilst the first
choice XI may not be a lot stronger than last year, the depth of the
squad has hugely improved.
Minus points: It
was f***ing hot, you couldn't take the real glasses out of the bar
and we didn't win. Matt Everhard (© REPD) went off injured and
our discipline still looks a little suspect - but at least we now
have players good enough to cover those missing without fear of a
Hartley Wintney type of performance,
The referee's a ........ : Didn't really notice him to be honest.
Might have formed an opinion if I had been close enough to the pre-half
time punch-up …
Them: Laid on a "family fun day" with bouncy castle,
bucking bronco and a live band - not to mention a "Boxercise"
demonstration at half-time which I (thankfully) missed as Jertzee
was generously buying me a pint in the bar. Very friendly and welcoming
from everything I saw, and provided the most surreal pre-match entertainment
I've seen for a long time …
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Mascots. Lots of Mascots.
A veritable host of bloody mascots. Prior to the game we were introduced
to "Taffy the Dragon", "Duncan the Dragon", "Freddy
the Fox", "Harry the Heart", his girlfriend "Harriet
the Heart", local favourite "Spytty the Dog" (no, I
haven't a clue either) and the amazing "Chunky Cheese".
As I was wondering if this was a franchise-esque exercise in trying
to increase the attendance, it turned out that they were going to
take part in a race. It was to be run over 80m for most of the mascots,
90m for Harry and Harriet (apparently not having a head gave them
an advantage) and the full 100m for poor Chunky who was presumably
penalised for smelling a bit off. As the race started, the PA announced
that he had had a call from John Fashanu and he knew who was going
to win - and as the home runner Spytty took the flag by a long nose
from Harry I knew that the fix-meister hadn't lost his (alleged) touch.
(2) A pitch-side advert for "Crook and Blight" estate agents.
Would you buy from them?
Quotes: (1) "Are you Dunford in disguise?" - the
Webmaster of another AFC site hounding the Newport mascot "Spytty
the Dog" with a rather bizarre taunt. Perhaps P*** R****** (name
withheld - badly) knows something about REPD that I don't … [SW19
explanation: this is down to an incident involving Deepdale Duck at
PNE a couple of years ago, where it was suggested it would be a good
job for me...] (2) "Welsh Soul Food" - Moleking's upbeat
assessment of the meal I consumed at KFC just prior to arriving at
the ground.
Chants would be a fine thing: Must have been the best part of
500 Dons there for the game, and the sun/drink combination ensured
that the full two-verse Champagne song got a proper outing, along
with a range of golden oldies and new AFC ditties. More opposition
fans than I think I've seen at any AFC game to date, but no real singing
from them,
Franchise FC watch: I don't - frankly who gives a shit anymore?
Point to ponder: (1) Would 500 fans have gone to Wales for
a league game two years ago, let alone a friendly? (2): Why do they
charge you to get into Wales rather than to get out? Someone hasn't
done his or her market research …
Anything else? If we play there again next year, can we enter
Tobermoray into the race?
So, was it worth it? The first time I've seen the Dons on foreign
soil (I went to Charleroi for the Inter-Toto Cup game but the bastards
kicked off early so I missed it) so a proud moment. And we get to
keep half a trophy - can we weld it to the half we won from Leatherhead
?
In a nutshell: Oh what fun it is to see the Wombles draw away …