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NEWS
30 August 2005
Not too sure if I can be arsed to write much about Population Paste 1 Semen Staines 1. The weather was too bloody hot to think straight. Or was it the ref, a man who obtained his refereeing licence at Poundland?
So instead, some idle thoughts : if Slough showed us at our best, Staines showed us at our worst. We didn't seem to have much of a clue other than aimlessly hoofing it. Maybe it was just one of those games where it didn't click, but we could still be playing now and not be able to string three passes together.
That said, I wasn't overly impressed by Staines, and they're one of the better teams in the division this season. We pretty much had most of the possession and probably will beat these teams more often than not. Especially at KM. And yes, that does sound contadictory to my last paragraph. If I was doing a proper report, I would put us not losing as a Plus Point, and I suppose I'm more pissed off that we didn't win than anything
Of course, the not much maligned Richard Butler going off is a blow, and a pretty shitty one at that. According to the OS though, it doesn't appear as bad as first thought, so we can probably forget bringing back Joe Sheerin :) Though I really don't like the thought of Shane Smeltz (and his twin brother, Sean) having to do everything himself.
Elsewhere, turning on Sky Sports and not seeing us at the top of the table isn't nice. Didn't expect it to be H&R though, although thankfully Fi$her didn't take advantage either. Quite ironic though that in a division full of Essex chavs, the top three clubs are all from t'Smoke.
Oh, and am I the
only one disappointed with 2754? While the hAE Tempest End really needs
to be open ASAP if only for comfortability, and August bank holiday is for
some reason never a good time for a good attendance, it doesn't bode well
if AFCW have budgeted for higher crowds.
In one strange way, the worst thing is that crowds have stayed the same. If crowds go down, it's down to a factor or two that eventually can be remedied, be it prices, standard of football, even that little thing called success. But when the attendances stay static, especially when you think that they should go up, it's harder to see how to attract more people. It becomes more difficult to see what you're doing wrong (or right).
Finally, you've all seen the programme and its, ahem, interesting interpretation of players names and our opponents. The people responsible for it have taken enough of a kicking for it, so I'll save my steel toecaps for the next fuckup they make.
But how badly can AFCW get it? If it was the occasional error, then fair enough. Hell, this site isn't exactly proof-read*. But to get it so blatantly wrong defies belief. Was the programme department seriously pushed for time? Were they drunk?
* - though the difference is that SW19 isn't a money-making organ (sadly) and shouldn't be treated as "official".
Does it matter? Well, actually it does. A lot. Some of our fans may forgive this fuckup, but look at it from another angle : say we wanted to approach a company to help fund the rebuild of the John Smiths, a la Tempest. What's one of the first things you give them? The programme. Probably the main bit of merchandise sold at games. Easy to distribute to potential sponsors. While I think that programmes generally are sanitised rip-offs (you could do a 12 page prog for a quid and still keep all the relevant stuff in), they do appear to be a rather simple yet effective marketing tool.
Or to put it bluntly, just imagine the sponsorship department of Elys picking up yesterday's programme. It's too late for Staines, but I just hope that this is all rectified, and soon.
The sad thing is, the prog's content for the most part looks quite promising...
27 August 2005
While there is no unimportant game at this level, there was something especially important about Rebels 0 Royalists 2. You quite possibly haven't twigged what it is yet, but it's probably as fundamental as signing Alan Shearer in winning games.
Confused? OK then. Firstly, in this fixture last season we were systematically taken apart. Today that was never likely to happen. Secondly, there was an incident that none of us have experienced for some years : we were 1-0 up in the 89th minute and they got a corner. Seriously, for the first time since probably the first CCL season we played a game up until 90 minutes when we really didn't know who would come out top.
But lastly, and most importantly, consider this : we were playing away on a tricky surface against very tricky opponents, and we not only weathered the proverbial storm but used a bit of the traditional Arsenil routine. We stung them. Remember how the Gooners used to soak up pressure and then score in the 89th minute? Usually totally against the run of play? And you thought "lucky Arsenal" was a slogan. Well, we now show a real level of resolve that I genuinely didn't think we had. Certainly not one that has been in evidence for a while. After all, outplaying people like Folkestone is one thing....
OK, perhaps we shouldn't have won. But imagine us doing Fi$her in the same way. The fact is, we now know this team can grind out results as and when. No, mentioning such things isn't quite what you want to hear in August. But come November, or February, I bet none of us will complain when the words "smash and grab" is used to describe one of our victories.
Enough pseudo-intellectual
analysis. The game? Well, they really had a lot of the possession, probably
the majority, and they got into us a couple of times. But in the cold light
of day, they didn't really trouble us as much as they could have
done. Our first goal came when whoever it was hit the bar, SS gathered in
the box and slotted past their goalie. Which was especially pleasing as I
think they had a free kick outside our box just moments before where they
right royally fucked it up like complete dildos delivered it without
the right quality.
Second half was a
bit better from our point of view. We seemed to get going a bit more, certainly.
Not too sure if the somewhat *cough* luscious surface was helping. Anyway,
they put a bit of pressure on towards the end, leading to the inevitable.
Yup, we hoofed delivered a long through ball to Barry Moore who's header
crept in. Didn't half hit the net in slow motion though...
Needless to say, I spent half the game plane-spotting. But I wrote enough down to come up with...
Plus points: All the plus points that a smash-and-grab away from home can give.
Minus points: Don't like to see RB go off.
The referee's a......: Christ, what an annoying piece of horse droppings. Firstly, he turned up late, putting the game 15 minutes later than what it should be. Don't suppose he realises that we want our results up on Sky's vidiprinter. Anyway, he then refereed like a complete twot. Fouls not given, given the other way etc. BTW, anyone see that female waiting for one of the officials who looked like a hooker? Presumably, the lino donated his match fee so he could interfere with her play.
Them: Proudly claimed they were the cheapest side to watch in the division (£7). Good turnout of theirs, shame they felt disappointed by the 1200+ crowd. Be interesting to see how attendances shape up this season. Incidentally, anyone see their sub get some abuse, deciding to give some back and got four times as much as before? Stupid prick.
Sing for your supper: Add this to the growing list of reasons why this game was so important. There, in glorious Dolby stereo (?) was the return of "Everywhere We Go". Last heard as a solemn rallying cry in the dying embers of the last WFC season, before the cancer of MK and Koppout et al ate away at the soul of us all. Now reborn, perhaps not as full a rendition as previously, but one day we'll get to hear again just how much rubber chickens from a sex shop can cost.
Point to ponder: Craig Carley. Retrograde step or somebody who suffered from TE's more eccentric decisions?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) How long was that grass today? If Windsor Safari Park was still around, they would have taken some of that playing surface to house their grass snakes. (2) The PA playing some decent music. Or were they just piping through XFM? (3) Quick mention to the happy couple who planned on spending a romantic evening at..... Heathrow Airport. Just hope their meal wasn't supplied by Gate Gourmet.
Anything else? Yeah. I can't remember the last time I went to a game and didn't bother with any other football scores on the radio. I didn't even know about how Franchise did until about 8pm tonight. OK, the Ashes was holding my attention, but has the football bubble finally burst?
So, was it worth it? Aye
In a nutshell: Bet Staines beat us 3-0 now.
24 August 2005
Next time you go to the Football Cliche dictionary, look up "game of two halves" and chances are you'll see a snapshot of Maldon 0 Morden 2 next to it. If this is what we're going to expect this season, you might as well stay in the bar until half time for the next 40 odd games.
Last night, in the first half, we looked ragged. A team with a better striker than Maldon would probably have put the game out of reach even before the half time cuppa is poured. As for our attack, the only person more scared of crosses than we were was Jesus Christ. I shudder to think what DA said at HT, but if it had got any worse, the team could have been made to walk from junction 28 of the M25*
* - for the unitiated, said junction was gridlocked for well over 2 hours because of a lorry fire. I know this because I was stuck in said gridlock for 2 hours. It would have been nice for the radio traffic reports to have let everyone know about this slightly before the lorry was finally moved to the hard shoulder..........
Second half, we basically woke up, turned the screw and probably should have got more. OK, RB nearly scored right at the end of the first half, with an easier-to-score-than-miss type chance, and he did hit the post before finally netting (and that was about 15 miles offside), but it all seemed to click much more. I think we're going to be a bit of a schizo team this season : world beaters one week, egg beaters the next.
In many ways, this feels a tad like the first season in the CCL. Not in terms of buying stadia, stuffing teams 100-0 etc, but the feet-finding exercise. We are all safe in the knowledge that there are at least two teams who could quite possibly stuff us. Fortunately, we don't have to play one of those sorts of teams until 'Rickay (or is it Heybridge Swifts?) in a month or so. This will give us plenty of time to learn the finer points of football, like how to play for 90 minutes instead of 45.
Of course, if you want a more detailed description, including exclusive interviews and analysis from DA and Colin Wallington (the Maldon manager), buy the NLP on Friday. You genuinely have no excuse whatsoever........
Anyway, enough of that pontificating bullshit. Here's....
Plus points: The second half
Minus points: The first half.
The referee's a.....: Well, did he do much wrong?
Them: Maldon is one of the better parts of Essex. What that means I'm not too sure - does it mean that the women wait until they're 14 before they start breeding, or the chavs wait to smoke their first fags at 11? Nice hosts, nice looking banqueting suite, team could cause a lot of problems for a few high-fliers. All it needs is an easier way to get to and I may even put them down as one of my more favoured teams this season :)
Song sung blue: I wouldn't say that a less than favourable geographical position had any effect on our travelling support, but I don't think I have ever heard "Where the fucking hell are we?", "Small town in nowhere" and "We've got a station, you ain't" at a game before. Just wait until we go to some hovel north of Watford.
Point to ponder: As pointed out last night : we're now in a division where the football is at a serious level, and not just about "named" clubs like Dulwich and T&M. Question is, are we learning how to handle it quicker or slower than we first expected? Guess the first big test, Slough away on Saturday, will answer that...
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) In a Merstham-esque act, burgers were being sold for £1 at the end of the game. Actually damn fine they were, and they had more meat than the KM equivalent. Then again, so does the Linda McCartney range. (2) Floodlights weren't much. God help the AFCW photographic department. (3) Probably the most distorted PA system since Jimi King's dulcet tones penetrated through the good old South Stand. (4) Speaking of PL, I'm told Maldon's sponsor bought our spiritual home off Safeway. I'm sure there's a level of irony there, I just haven't figured out how high yet.
Anything else?
Remember for the last report how kewl it was that we're on Sky Sports teleprinter
now? Well, I think it's just sunk in. For the first time since we got relegated
to the first divison Championship* I've put on SSN and checked the
results and even the table - top half only, not that we need to know the bottom
half - comes up now. H&R are doing all right. Somehow watching our results
on mainstream telly feels right, if you see what I mean..
* - like just about any of us I have genuinely no idea where we finished, how we played etc etc in the last WFC season. Nor I suspect we gave a remote toss either.
So, was it worth it? Guess so.
In a nutshell: First banana skin avoided.
And finally: It's quite possible that I won't be at Slough. Anyone willing to see their scribes in print (cough), let me know. Getting others to write reports was a bit thin on the ground last season. Come on, it's not like writing for the OS...
20 August 2005
OK, so maybe we won't get relegated after all (see last week) - as somebody said to me today, obviously the anti-depressants didn't work for the Dover game. Thankfully, they've kicked in for Michael Havers 4 Michael Howard 1, and it was all a bit too easy in the end
I guess time will tell in the coming weeks and months just how good the RP is, and whether Folkestone are the division's cannon fodder or not. But quite simply, once we got the first ten minutes over with and scored our first goal, it did have a rather eery feel of last season's opener against Ashford. Indeed, this time last season, I wrote the following words about Town:
"Unsure if they're one of the better teams in the R1S, but they're probably on a par with the best CCL club. One thing for sure, I doubt if it'll be as easy as this each week."
Wonder how many of us are thinking similar things tonight?
Let's get the obvious differences between the RP and R1 out of the way first : this division is a lot more physical. I am genuinely surprised* that there wasn't a sending off today. Before this season is out, however, we will be treated to one of those mass brawls so sadly absent from recent seasons. In fact, it will probably be considered an incomplete season if an oppo player isn't hospitalised with a broken jaw/nose/ankle/neck/brain.
* - well, I should be genuinely surprised but I'm not. See description of ref below
Second, our defence will have to act less like a bunch of marijuana smokers. There were times where the marking let us down and one of the money sides like Braintr€€, Fi$her and Billerica¥ (alternative spellings copyright SW19) would have happily put a couple past us.
Thirdly, and most importantly of all, we cannot enter into any game now at anything less than 110% committment. Last season, we sort of got away with it as it turned out we were by far the best side. The CCL days practically saw us turning up expecting to win 5-0 and winning 5-0. Here, while we're there to be shot at again, there are teams in this division who actually happen to have the artillery to do it.
As for the goals/game, they kicked us a bit in the beginning, we rode out the challenges (literally in a couple of instances). Then we got the breakthrough, good work from the not-much-maligned RB and the new crowd favourite Ammo let in SS to make it 1-0. I missed their goal, I was in the tea-bar queue as usual. I saw our second though, it was RB rounding the goalie in a 1-on-1 situation, and effortlessly slid it past the advancing goalkeeper. Shame the defender helped it in. Not. No doubt about the third goal either, Matt York right on the edge of the box, powerful low shot. Whallop. And when SS made it 4-1 a minute later, we were pretty much loving it. Shame one of the Invicta players wasn't...
Oh, and some fans did that "Easy" thing. In future, why not clap along to "We Will Rock You" or do the Mexican fucking wave? On second thoughts, don't.
Meanwhile..
Plus points: Comprehensive. Ammo looks good. So does RB. And SS. Old AFCW habit of pressing forward despite a good lead still welcomingly practiced.
Minus points: Defence looks a bit R1 standard. Utterly crap time to conceed a goal.
The referee's a....: Here's a game for you. Next time you pick up the Sport, look for the pics of an old scrubber with a chest size of 55FF. They often have some. Next, imagine if you will said protuberants double in size. Now, if you can imagine the image of said bra-breaking bouncers, they will be roughly the size of the pair of tits that were today's ref and linesman. I think it took DA about 10 seconds to have a fuming session at the ref/lino and it seemed to just decay from then on. Fouls not given, one clear cut penalty decision ignored, that sort of thing. Remember the days when we used to praise the likes of Steven Cook?
Them: Considered a bit of a clogger team, and stuck true to form. Took their goal well. After 2-1 down, was as useful as Gate Gourmet's hopes of renewing their BA contract. Their #8 was fat, their #6 was asked by somebody in the JS to "fuck off back to Kajagoogoo". Took two coaches down, one of their fans decided to give a rather innoculous gesture to me, from the safety of the coach naturelment. Shame I wasn't doing the NLP report, because it would mention vicious Invicta thugs threatening innocent bystanders... (who said journos twist stories?)
Point to ponder: This was the first game of the season, with a reduced capacity and I think that "sell your seat if you can't make a game" thing still going. So why did there appear quite a few empty seats in the stand? Surely they weren't all Folkestone's allocation?
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The streets around KM being deserted at 2.20pm. Seriously, you wouldn't have known there was a game on. Course, with 15 mins to go it was all packed out. (2) AFC Wimbledon finally getting on Sky's Soccer Saturday with Jeff Stelling. I don't think I have ever been so quietly proud watching Fi$her's result today...
Anything else? This was the first time in 19 years that I don't have a season ticket (due to a money/work combination, and when it finally gets resolved I will get one. No, I'm not boycotting due to the hAE's demise) and subsequently became the proverbial paying punter. Nothing consequencial except that it confirms my belief that £9 is deffo too much to charge for this level :)
I could mention a lot about covering costs, the AFCW "brand name" being somehow a means of justification for such pricing etc, but I won't. Instead, a throwaway suggestion : If it's not already in the pipeline or available, I'd like to ask AFCW (and I know some of the top brass read this site) if they could consider making getting STs easier for people. By this, I mean things like staggered payments (ie pay monthly, 3 monthly etc), and if the option for credit/debit cards is open, like it was for the FCUM game, that as well.
If you think about it, £200 or whatever the club charge is a hefty sum for a lot of people to pay as a single payment. I know quite a few people who have struggled to raise that sort of money this season, certainly. I know that at other clubs they give the option of paying for STs in installments (and the ST prices of some clubs suggests that a loan from the IMF is a good option), and I bet that plenty would be grateful if they could split the cost down. I know I would.
Out of a crowd of 3000, the ST takeup is about 1200. I suppose a club would like 60-70% of its crowd as ST holders, and we're sub-50%. Especially as getting an ST is probably the best way to commit to a club (I wonder how many volunteers graduated to season ticket holders from being pay-on-the-door punters?).
Of course, I fully expect snarling, gnashing of teeth and threats of untold magnitude because of this. After all, the people who deal with STs have enough to do as it is.. :)
So, was it worth it? No. Remember the days when we used to lose the first game of the season? Now that was real football...
In a nutshell: Three years to the Football League.
13 August 2005
Dank, cold, wet. And that was just the puns that I was being asked to put into my NLP report. Still, Immigrants 0 Asylum Seekers 1 had a degree of humour about it, assuming that your humour is suited to a late night ITV sitcom that only runs for one season.
If losing 5-4 to Crawley was a case of being outclassed, then I don't know what this is. None of the passes seemed to work, our midfield's contribution revolved around some, ahem, strong challenges and we were as likely to score this weekend as British Airways were likely to get a full timetable operating.
The game? Read the NLP report tomorrow, although how SS managed to miss when he was 1-on-1 I just don't know. Their goal was all right though.
The rest wasn't. Including the following scribings...
Plus points: It was only a PSF
Minus points: Everything I mentioned in the second paragragh above. And the weather was shit.
The referee's a..........: Somehow, I don't think the John Smith's stand or our bench will be sending him Xmas cards this yuletide.
Them: Sort of the Nottm Forest of non-league, insofar as they've slipped down the divisions as well. The SW19 theory that a club is as good on the field as it is off the field rings true here. Seem nice enough people, and bought a few down (or is that up?) Lose marks for wearing a shirt that looks like Crystal Palace.
Point to ponder: This may be a massive over-reaction to today, but I like to think the unthinkable. Could we feasibly get relegated next season? Stop laughing. I know that some of us think we're good enough to be champions, or at least playoffs, and the bookies like us. But if today was a taster of next season and we don't get off to a good start, we could be in shit.
Seriously - I think too many of our fans are underestimating the task ahead of us. I remember last year when people like Slough and Hendon played us off the park, and I'm still not 100% sure that gap has been bridged. OK, today was only a PSF, and I'll probably be eating my words this time next month, but I bet today is a lot similar to how many games will be like next season. Let's hope this is only a dress rehersal.....
Truth is stranger
than fiction: (1) When was the last time we lost twice in one week in
anything? (2) One for the AFCW suggestion box : buy a paper guillotine.
Not only does it cut quicker than scissors, but it looks better than a press
pass presumably cut under the influence of alcohol. (3) The roof for the hardcore
Athletics End Tempest End going up pretty quick. In fact, wasn't the roof
structure nowhere to be seen last week? Incidentally, how long will it be
before somebody complains it's leaking?
Anything else?
Yeah, we wore the new money making third kit today. And looking at
it closely, I think it looks pretty, er, well, you know. It looks rather,
urm.... ah fuck it. I like our home kit, it looks pretty nice. Even Chelski
have ripped it off a bit. I like our away kit, a respectful nod to the past.
This one? I hate it. I don't know whether it's the clunky looking shirt sponsor,
or the early 80s Palace-esque stripes down the shirts and shorts, but it looks
cheap and a bit tacky. And some other third kit haters I've spoken to assure
me the quality of the shirt itself is pretty poor..
It will sell lots, of course, but as the old adage goes, bad taste doesn't sell for long. And yes, I know it was shortlisted, and I know it was democratically chosen by well meaning sorts. But so was Iain Duncan Smith.
So, was it worth it? Well, you could have been at home watching the third day of the Ashes (er....)
In a nutshell: God help us if this was a league game.
10 August 2005
There was something distinctly Premiership-esque about Red Devils 5 Blue Nuns 4. Whether it was people moaning about the price of entry/the programmes, playing well yet being ultimately outclassed or indeed playing in a ground that seemed to comply with the Taylor report I don't know. But for a little while, things felt, well, familiar.
The game : we went 1-0 up thanks to the Pole. Though my notes say that SS did a lot of the work. Was fun listening to the PA announcer pronouncing Wojciechowski though. While we were looking pretty damn good in the early stages, I think we were all shocked when the ultra-impressive Kiwi doubled our lead in the 8th minute. And by the time that the third went in, on 23 minutes thanks to Matt Fowler heading, we had gone from being in shock to resorting to that fucking irritating "easy" chant complete with moronic hand clap*
* - I am led to believe that while the "easy" thing was started by Shirley "Big Daddy" Crabtree, it has been resurrected by professional Chelski "fan" Tim Lovejoy. No further comment necessary.
Deep down, we thought it couldn't last. And it didn't. In the space of what felt like a minute, they pulled back to 3-2, and leaving us glad it was HT.
Unfortunately, we had to come back out for the second half, and to the surprise of just about no-one, they equalised. Then they went ahead. Then they went 5-3 ahead. And suddenly, all the things I was going to write about (namely, how the Conf should give us an automatic bye into their division) were conveniently scribbled out.
Funny thing was, despite being 5-3 down, we didn't really play that badly. Not too sure if that inspires confidence in me for next season or not. Anyway, we got a grandstand finish (ahem) when we got a free kick on the edge of the box, and Barry Moore struck sweetly (?) to make it 5-4. Who said PSFs were dull?
And while I say this practically every time we play a club higher than ourselves, playing at stadia like Broadfield or against clubs like Aldershot really does whet the appetite for Conference football. Right now, we feel like a 14 year old who can't wait until he becomes 18. We will need to learn patience, but I think I've said this before : most of us have been supporters of AFCW/WFC since league days and it shows. While there isn't a great appetite for Prem football, there is a subconscious feel that we need to be playing against people like Crawley regularly. As games like this, CP last season and even Brentford show, we aren't really a non-league set of fans.
Anyway, it was fun. Unlike....
Plus points: Scoring 4 goals away from home against a Conference side. Being 3-0 up after 23 minutes. Some of the best quality I have ever seen from an AFCW side.
Minus points: Conceeding 5 goals away from home against a Conference side. Letting the 3-0 lead slip almost too readily
The referee's a.........: Conference standard ref, which I think might go down as a euphemism. Certainly the cheer he got from us when he gave a free kick to us spoke volumes.
Them: Mixture of triallists and first teamers. For the first half hour, they looked on a par with Corinthian Casuals, though after that, they demonstrated the gap between a professional Conference outfit and a team that hasn't even kicked a ball in the Ryman Premier yet. OK, PSFs are often unreliable guides - remember Barnet last season? - but I don't think CT will get away with going 3-0 down every week. I might be doing the NLP report for their game next week against Dagnum & Redbridge, so I'll let you know how they get on...
Point to ponder: There were 921 there last night. How many more would there have been had a more realistic PSF price been set? I think I must have known more people who weren't going as was. Perhaps a lesson here for AFCW - cover your costs by all means, but don't bite the hand that feeds.
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) I really don't like new towns. I've had experiences of places like Crawley, Northampton and a certain town in the Midlands and they're so uniformly bland it's unreal. Were roundabouts and chavhappy underpasses the byproduct of cannabis smoking town planners? While we all agree that places like Leeds, Derby and Manchester are cesspits, they do have some sort of "realness" to them. And you don't have to walk miles to find a chippy. (2) The £2.50 programme concentrating mostly on.... Crystal Palace. (3) Apparently, the floodlights were turned on by command of, wait for it, the Chief Steward. Perhaps he should have reffed the game.
Anything else? Yeah, I note that NE has departed. Shame really, especially as he stood in admirably after the TE saga, so it's another link to the CCL days gone. While his lack of coaching qualifications ultimately worked against him, I still can't help thinking that deep, deep down, he was a little bit miffed at being ousted by DA. Anyway, his pedigree was damn useful, and with luck the Nescot tieup (my old college, for those who care) will see a WFC style youth system, without Hammam pocketing the transfer fees. Can't see why he went to Whyteleafe though :)
So, was it worth it? What, £11 to get in and 9 goals in return? Oh, come on....
In a nutshell: Two years away, in more ways than one.
6 August 2005
Today, we were all witnesses to a sporting tussle of magnitude. A battle of wits, hearts, souls and vocal chords. A contest where even concentration slipping by 0.01% presents a foreboding that may be unrecoverable. Pain, anguish, joy, heartache, passion and fortitude all served up in healthy doses, and quite a few unhealthy ones as well. In short, what makes sporting events great. Yes, I am talking about whether Paula Radcliffe will have a dump on the track, just like she did in the London marathon*
* - she didn't, although her performance was reminiscent of a freshly laid cable.
Football? Oh, that. Well, if Officers Mess 1 Army Barracks 1 was anything to go by, I think we'll do all right this season. Basically, they showed that they were a Conference side and we, well, weren't. Then again, I seem to remember last season doing all right against Gravesend and Northfleet. And we all know how last season ended up, don't we?
The game, if I must. We started off brightly enough, but sadly so did they. They went ahead from what looked like a deflection. We came back, but they got a penalty. Which Andy Little saved. Which spurred us on to the point that we had a 1-on-1 with the goalie. Sadly, whoever it was (RB?) forgot to lift the ball over the keeper.
Second half, we looked a bit stronger, and indeed we got a penalty. It was dutifully put away by Richard Butler, though it did seem to hit the goalie and come off the bar/roof of the net. And really, with a bit more sharpness in front of goal, we may even have been crowing about a creditworthy win.....
Got through all that? Good.
Plus points: We didn't lose. Looking like we can pass well enough. Generally look solid. Became stronger as the game went on.
Minus points: Still seem to lack a bit of fitness/sharpness. Shooting a bit shit.
The referee's a..........: Conference level, as is necessary when you play a Conf club. Suppose he was OK, though he did break the PSF protocol of booking players.
Them: I covered Aldershot v Exeter last year, and they didn't quite have that extra 5% that is the difference between being a league side and a Conf side. Bit like today really, they had the potential to destroy us but didn't. AT are the club who I think we aim to emulate : their history is pretty similar to ours, certainly, and if you go down to their place, there's a deffo feel of a resurrected club. Incidentally, while I didn't hear it, their #10 who got subbed after being booked was apparently told in no uncertain terms that any more behaviour like that and he wouldn't play for them again...
Song sung blue: Before the away fans were getting a little bit wearysome for my misanthropic liking, there were some right classic songs being exchanged. When the female physio was seen, it was a case of "We want your physio", or, perhaps more tellingly, "We've had your physio". Obviously, she has a fine magic sponge. They were pretty dismissive of Carlisle - "we hope you drown again" and claimed that we wouldn't make the Conference. Or was it the station?
There was also this classic exchange, that can only be reproduced in full to gain maximum enjoyment :
AT: No-one likes
us, we don't care
AFC: We all like you over here
AT: Will you come to Aldershot?
AFC: Where the fuck is Aldershot?
*cue murmurings*
AFC: You're just a barracks in Hampshire
Sort of went downhill a bit after that, and I did see two coppers standing between the two sets of fans in the second half..
Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Who was the "nasty Womble" as heard in the first half on the WB? You know, the one who looked like Jimmy Pursey and sounded like Jimmy White. (2) Speaking of music, did somebody hijack Phillo's playlist at HT? Some pretty decent sounding stuff, including what sounded like a live version of Everstrong's tune. Shame really they weren't around 10 years ago, they would have been pretty big by now. (3) Good to see the Mayor of Merton get a warm reception (snigger). While we should resist the temptation to tell Merton to stick it - we're not a Kingston side, no matter how hard we collectively try and convince ourselves otherwise - it's gladdening to see that memories are still very long.
Anything else? Another world famous venue airbrushed under the steamrollership of modern football : the closure of the hAE to put a roof on. It's "progress" we're told. Sadly, the end that was always 10 degrees colder than everywhere else, 50% wetter than anywhere else and with a view 100 times better is now having the hardcore ripped out of it. The slipperly slope has been well and truly slid upon : expect corporate boxes to replace the John Smiths stand, the West Bank to become all seater, kick off times changed to suit audiences in Taiwan, professional stewards, and the club to abandon its roots and traditions and become a PLC (oh wait....)
So, was it worth it? Yeah, it was all right. Hopefully by about 2009 this pairing will be a league game on Sky.
In a nutshell: £11 to get in at Crawley?