NEWS

Well, that was a turnup for the books, eh boys and girls? Chips 2 Fish 3 was the stuff comebacks are made from. Despite looking dead and buried for much of it, it's these sort of performances that really do make the difference between a team that is top and a team that is destined to plod along. Anyway, no point in asking me what actually happened because I couldn't see a bloody thing - but what I do know is that both their goals were exact copies of each other. Our first goal - and come to think of it our second and third as well - were scrappy goals. Bit of the old fashioned variety to boot...

 

Anyway, none the more so for that.....

Plus points: We won. Away. After being 2-0 down. Good spritied fightback.

Minus points: See below

Defence Strategy: Let's not beat about the bush - our defence is shite. Fucking shite. Both Chipstead's goals were carbon copies of each other, namely the long ball over the defence, 1-on-1 with Shimmel and boom. A negative impact on our "goals against" column. Let's face it, our defence has as much teeth as a UN weapons inspector in North Korea and it's not just an isolated incident either. We seem to have constant problems here and really, TE needs to stop looking at reserve teams so much and look at a vital component of the first XI.

The referee's a ........... : OK I guess, though he did show a rather peculiar way of giving free kicks, ie often in the opposite direction.

AWOL: Mike Berry. Remember him? If you don't, scroll down this page and read my somewhat passionate critique of his composure during our last game. Reportedly left the club, though he probably went into hiding today instead.

Chipstead: Quite a few of them about, gave it a bit after they went 2-0 up, went a bit quiet at 3-2. Can't think why. I still reckon they look like Glasgow Celtic

Overheard: "Good crowd" by many in attendance. Was there really only 1700 odd there? Felt much more. We were in good voice in the stand behind the goal, bit like the old professional days minus the twattish stewards.

Point to ponder: Do you think the well-to-do in Whyteleafe actually know what some of the more fruity words are that came out today? I can imagine a conversation in one of their big detached houses tonight asking what a "cunt" is and being told it's a new hand you get in Bridge.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Look to the picture to your right and I don't think any more needs to be said on it. And you thought the Don's Shop was bad. (2) Road sign telling me to watch out for crossing badgers. Hmm, this is non-league (3) The Franchise game at Gillingham got rained off, probably the only one in England that did today. Funny how a CCL game with two local teams playing each other managed to attract loads of people AND got the go ahead. Hmm. Still, at least it gave the travelling Franchise fan a chance to turn around and head for South Croydon. And speaking of which...

 

Franchise FC watch: Got rained off. Chortle.

Coincidentally, the Franchise EGM was yesterday. Yes, they had an EGM at SP yesterday believe it or not. From what I can gather, it seems like Franchise were trying to raise a share issue of £15m to pay off Roekke. Or something, ask somebody who went :) Anyway, seems like they could be buggered as the EGM could be invalid (one reason being something to do with Uncle Reg) - by "buggered", I mean that it appears that Roekke's loan needs to be paid up by Wednesday and if it gets delayed then who knows what could happen? We shall wait and see, but it's nice to know we're still a thorn in the old side.

Anything else? Yeah, this game was potentially going to be played at - wait for it - Selhurst Park.......

So, was it worth it? It had excitement, certainly

In a nutshell: Who are we playing next?

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You will be pleased to know that normal service HAS been resumed now. So you can switch over. Anyway, on a drizzly and bloody cold day in deepest darkest Surrey, we were treated to Casuals 0 Formal Wear 5 in a repeat of the whateverbloodycupitwas game earlier this season. Except we won this time of course without having to resort to heart-attack inducing methods. We actually played very well, certainly we should have got more but once again, the oppo goalie kept the score down to single figures. Bastards, why can't we ever get a nice 9-0 or 10-0 scoreline like other top teams in this division? I blame Koppel.

Now, there was no point asking me what the first goal was like as I missed it. Bloody typical. Most of the goals were - from memory - a bit scrappy, except for the penalty we got. Which was admittedly very well struck. The pitch was lousy but we certainly knew how to use the wings apparently....

Enough of that bollocks, here's the good stuff:

Plus points: We won. Away. Without conceeding a goal. Cooper deserved his hat-trick and the match ball. All round play was excellent. Petty could be a good prospect (hey, I recognised one of our players...)

Minus points: That weather sucked.

The referee's a .......... : Pretty decent as it goes. True, he sent off two Casuals players and was called a "disgrace" by the Walton manager, but hey, who cares about that? I don't..

Them: Very gracious hosts as usual. Beer tent went down very well, reportedly, even though they were selling Guinness for £2. Not quite so bad in itself, but the cans they were pouring from had a much lower promotional price on them. Doh. Casuals team BTW are reportedly in disarray, they lost their manager and given the way they tried to kick us after going 3-0 down they ain't going anywhere upwards soon

Carol singing, AFCW style: Goalie reportedly got a bit of stick, though this time I think he learnt how to handle it. And apparently did quite well with us behind him. Got "You're supposed to be at home" and the CS made a welcome return (I don't care how many people think it's bollocks at this level, it's supposed to be ironic). And the old seasonal favourite "Jingle Bells" livened up the yuletide experience for one and all. Overall, we aren't as noisy as we were when we were still a professional outfit IMO but at least the circumstances these days are a lot less antagonistic.

Point to ponder: Do you think that by giving the first Golden Goal scorer as the Walton #8 (who put it into his own net), Casuals were saving money on the matchballs by stopping KC getting his hat-trick?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Playing 51 minutes in the first half. (2) Playing 51 minutes in the second half. (3) Why on earth was there a Premier League/Dorna circa 1996 advertising hoarding at the ground? Are Dorna that desperate for trade these days? (4) Mud. Plenty of it. Especially on my shoes and jeans. Ah, non-league football, can't beat it eh?

Franchise FC watch: It gets worse for them - only 1697 morons (I don't include Stoke fans in the "moron" category) turned up to watch them draw 1-1 with a last minute goal from the Pottery people. Coincidentally, if Stoke's firm is called the Naughty Fourty, I wonder what Franchise's equivalent is called? Or do they just have a sole trader as opposed to a firm?

Meanwhile, I should really extend Xmas cheer to Franchise FC. But I won't, and I hope they go bust and Koppout, the Fat Nazi and that senile incontinent old cunt Judas Davis lose all their money. Well, I might as well be honest.

Plug: I've been asked to put a link to http://www.sw19snowballs.co.uk which is highly addictive and recommended (even if it doesn't have enough gore in it). However, the author reckons I'm "uncompromising" enough not to put it up, so I won't :)

Hello mum: Dare I mention the female womble who goes very red very quickly whenever a certain male is mentioned (not me BTW)? Works every time...

Anything else? Not really. Walton's a nice place though.

So, was it worth it? Yes, I would say so.

In a nutshell: As long as we keep winning, we'll do OK

Finally, as you all know, it is the big Merton derby on Boxing Day. Yup, the Vile are coming to pollute our game and really, I don't think we need much more motivation for it. If there are any flaggers, let me rally you : Raynes Park Vile are the annoying little brother of Merton football. They mocked us when they were above us in the CCL earlier this season, and we must never ever forget that humiliation. We are fighting for pride, for truth, for decency and all that is just and proper. Victory must be ours on Boxing Day. It is a battle between the bastion of all that is right and the scum whose ground is owned by Koppout. Bring your family members. Bring your next door neighbour. Bring your spouse. Bring your paper boy (I don't care if he supports Celsi). Bring the person who you shagged on the photocopier at your Xmas party this week. Bring your household pets (not dogs though, I'm allergic to them). Hell, bring yourself if you have to. But make sure they are there to destroy the Vile and all the evil they stand for. Claim victory and the Football Gods will decree that ourselves and ourselves alone are to be the one true football club of Merton (conveniently forgetting that T&M are in a higher division than us). Be there.

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18 December 2002

Well, normal service WAS meant to be resumed tonight (or tomorrow), but your humble and esteemed editor was ordered off the platform at Wimbledon Station at 6.35pm (along with everyone else) because of a suspect package. By the time the game started, I was still at Wimbledon station knowing full well I was going nowhere near Hampton. Oh well, as I write it's 5-1 to us and I feel very very depressed. Unless one of you kind people want to submit a report a la Sandhurst. I'd be eternally grateful....

Anyway, the other and probably more important news is the possible groundshare with T&M. Now, I've no idea how it all came about, but all parties seem serious about it. The reasonings behind it seem quite sound : it's in Merton, and the Samosa Kings at Ks are currently shooting themselves in the foot over us apparently. Nothing has of course been finalised, which given past form almost certainly means it will fall through. But if my cynicism is unfounded and it DOES happen, it will be for the start of next season. AFCW will have its own offices there, plus merchandise outlet etc etc as part of the deal.

Sounds good, yes, but my only fear about it happening is if it becomes like SP was supposed to be a temporary-groundshare-turning-permanent arrangement. Granted, it's better than being at SE25 and far better than Cokeman Wankelmann's shitty town, but apart from the Merton factor it will be the same as sharing at Ks. Now, while playing in SM4 is almost SW19's dream, I do worry if a great deal of our support plus the club itself doesn't soften up over getting our OWN ground. Doesn't think it would matter so much? OK then, psychologically we will be at somebody else's ground. That is exactly the same mistake Hammam made. It was the mistake Koppout should have made (though he managed to do the option even worse than that). And now there is talk (and I don't mean Kris Stewart's words on the official press release) being informally made which worry me. You know, "it'll be all right if we stayed there permanently". Have we learnt nothing

Don't get me wrong, I want us to be playing at T&M in far better conditions, but it MUST be only for 3 years while we find our own ground. Think of that old word, "civic pride", that we would have if it was us owning all of it, a name associated with AFCW, not somebody else's ground. Think about it, and let's hope that we'll be playing in Merton in the meantime.

And yes, I still haven't forgiven that cunt for the suspect package in Wimbledon...

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That’s enough footie, this is REPD’s site after all, so on to the really important stuff …..

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As per usual, a couple of things - one, I unreservedly apologise for not doing the Bedfont LSC game. Shit happens. No guarantee over Ditton either. Secondly, I am looking for somebody to do the Chessington and Hook game as I'm in the United States yet again. Contact at the usual address. And thirdly, the SUFTD thing was well worth it - even a miserable old cynic who wasn't even planning on going digged it. Can't really get into Mark Thomas, no matter how hard I try, but all acts were superb. And I will never look at the "AFC" in AFCW's name in quite the same way again.

Anyhoo, back to the programme, and more importantly back to winning ways. Yup, another handcuffing and whipping of a slavish entity, this time Viking 0 Dogger 4 was the order of the day. To be blunt, Viking were crap and only their goalie kept them in it. Although the first goal came off via a shin, it was no more than we deserved : though we laboured a bit, and Cooper seems to have the touch of the Diego Forlans about him, we exploded into life : firstly, with New Kid Andrew Petty being a heartbreaker, then KC finally shooting right and finishing off with the New Kid hanging tough. All in all, much needed

And speaking of much needed...

Plus points: We won. 4-0. Away. Much more fluid. Good debut from the New Kid.

Minus points: Disappointing turnout. Should have won 8-0

Tasteless metaphores of our time: Our shooting was on a par with Al-Qaeda trying to shoot down an Israeli charter jet.

The referee's a...... : Usual crap. Somehow managed to miss an utterly blatant challenge on one of our players, who went so high in the air Heathrow ATC had to reroute the landing planes.

Viking warriors: Shame we couldn't fill their coffers more, but then maybe playing on a Sunday before Xmas wasn't such a good idea - I knew of at least three people who couldn't go for starters. Excellent programme (OK, so it was free), sadly a couple of their fans were reportedly shouting abuse at their black players. Then again, as Hayes is reportedly deep Celsi area, nobody should even be remotely surprised.

Hayes: Was that place closed or what? Creepy. Hayes' ground BTW reminds me a lot of Dalymount Park, insofar as they spent money on refurbishing their main stand and neglected to do anything to the toilets. Ew.

Quotes: "The back four looks more nervous than Saddam Hussein's high command". Umm, we're really overdoing it with the topicial stuff today.

Point to ponder: Wasn't it nice to see Viking do a major continental style manoever today? Never mind give-and-go, pass-and-move, total-football style wank, I mean the outfield players taking the goal kicks...

Truth is stranger than fiction: Having your impact in non-league football described as a "scud" in the VG programme. I thought scuds were the crappy, inaccurate weapons?

Point to ponder, revisited: Coming back, I had to stand from Hayes to Paddington. It was a bit of a reminder of the good old days coming back from such toilets as Burnley. And I realised that instead of having to wait until midnight before I got back, I could return back to SW19 towers almost before 7pm. Further proof if any more was still needed, that we really have done the right thing with AFCW.

Anything else? Not really TBH, I think people were tired/hungover (or both) from last night.

So, was it worth it? Yeah, guess so

In a nutshell: Yo heave ho