NEWS

NOTE: Unless there are substantial sums of money involved, I do not give permission for other clubs to use my match reports in their match day programmes. Use your own bloody material.

27 September 2008

Before Bedford 2 Iveco 2, I make a half-joking comment to myself beforehand that we'd try our hardest to get a replay. Why? Because AFCW's beancounter department want a home game with all that lovely lolly from the beer, and we want to give the likes of Belal and Chris Sullivan another 90 minute run out.

Guys, I really was joking.

I dunno about this. It's the FAC etc etc, but we really didn't do ourselves any favours today. Thankfully, ITV.com are going to put up highlights of our game, which is just as well as I don't want to describe their two efforts. I managed to miss Pullen's assistance in their first goal, and their second one was just so blatant in coming it was unreal. Why oh fucking why when we went 2-1 ahead did we decide to sit back in defence and let them score? All this amongst our penalty (which wasn't, in fact many of us were appealing for a corner) and a rather nice bit of movement which was scored by either Belal or Kennedy.

Know what this reminded me a bit of? That Tonbridge Angels game last season where we threw away a 2-0 lead. Yes, I know we did it twice for good measure, just in case you missed it the first time round, but there was something Rymanesque today. Even the ground felt like TA's place (though to be fair, I've been to far worse venues). Nobody really seemed up for it, nobody felt the need to bust a gut today. I wouldn't say it was like a PSF, but today was just....... there.

We did have quite a few chances, and it's totally our fault that we have a game on Tueday. Maybe we do need another 90+ minutes of proper, intense football to get everyone's brains working again. Despite his penalty, JM looked off the pace again, and it wasn't that surprising he got taken off. Indeed, the SLP is hinting he might not play on Tuesday. DK is starting to find his feet with us, and Belal looks quite elegant at times. Though he does remind me of Walid Badir. Unfortunately, not for the first time, we had all that domination and hardly gave their keeper a prodding.

As I was driving home, I really was going to go to town over us letting it slip when I eventually returned to SW19 Towers. But when I discovered the results of some of the other sides in the BSP, maybe we got off quite lightly after all? In case you're wondering, here they are - who would have predicted Chelmsford getting gubbed at Bury Town? Or Furruk's result? Or Braintree fertilising our pitch for Tuesday with a load of shit? In fact, reading the reactions of many BSS followers, their teams really sucked the big one.

Is that a sign that perhaps the FAC has lost its lustre amongst non-league sides as well? We always like to think that sides at our level put their guts and sinew into progressing further and further in the competition. You can expect one upset, but half-a-dozen from the same division? And the joint highest division currently in the competition? I think it was pointed out today by somebody - we probably have to play too many qualifying rounds for it to be worthwhile these days. Especially when the Conference proper gets into the 4QR and only one match away from the first round proper ties - where it genuinely gets mouthwatering.

Those who lost today will probably be thinking "we played shit, but at least it's not the league". And there's your nutshell right there. Thing is, we always have this viewpoint that teams battle their bollocks off to get as far as they can in the FAC. Could it be, quite possibly, that this is a myth? Granted, if we got into the 4QR then the excitement starts to kick in, but right now it's just another game isn't it? And I expect that far from the romance of the cup, it's in fact a hinderance unless you get amongst the big boys. One does wonder if this is a new phenomenum, especially with the advent of the regionalised Conference divisions, or whether this is the FAC's dark little secret.

Still, we live to fight another day on Tuesday. In theory, we should be too strong for them this time, and if we get our attitude right they shouldn't have a hope. But then, never underestimate the power of the FAC. Or the word "if"......

Plus points: We didn't lose. In the cup draw for Monday. Belal looks promising. DK getting more and more into it. Some decent passing in second half.

Minus points: We didn't win. Threw it away. Pullen's keeping. Our defence. Lethargic at times. Having to play an un-necessary game on Tuesday which we'll now probably lose.

The referee's a....: "He's a slow tosser" - courtesy of one Mr B. Slayer before the game started. There's no more to be said, really.

Them: Their cup final and boy did they celebrate. Should point out to them though that when you chant "Can we play you every week?", it's done when you're (a) winning, and (b) not gifted two goals. Still, not going to slag them off too much - they hate Franchise as well, their ground is quite neat and tidy, even if a bit out in the sticks, and they were pretty well organised on the field. Tell you what though, we didn't half rattle their defenders when we put a bit of pressure on them - remember when Furruck beat us in our R1 days? They knew how to get free kicks and other advantages through cunning, and it looks like we've developed that trait...

Point to ponder: Are we on a mini-slump? OK, that's a bit harsh, and it just feels a little bit like it, although we certainly have lost a bit of our oomph recently. Maybe it's the relatively hot weather that put us into lethargic pre-season dozy mode. Also, is it just me or has Pullen suddenly become a liability? Last week I started on JG's sacred cow status, and now it's the turn of the goalie who effectively saved last season. If everyone's being honest, he was responsible in part for us having to replay this game. Unless he sees it as a way of getting extra match time and bonuses...

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) "1-0 and you fucked it up". Us to them when it was 2-1. Fermez votre bouche dans l'avenir, s'il vous plait. (2) **IF** we win on Tuesday, we could get to face Ks, Slutton, Staines, Coldseal and/or Boreham Wood. While the first two are admittedly tantalising, the rest are almost enough to let Bedford win the replay. (3) Seeing a couple of our players at South Mimms afterwards (including Micky Haswell). Didn't really have the heart or the courage to go up to them asking what happened (4) 1296 there. Not bad, considering a few decided to boycott because BT supposedly stock Franchise stuff in their club shop (wisely nowhere to be seen today), though not the 3900+ hinted at this week. (5) The FAC there for those to be photographed with it. Of course, some of us had that done in 1988 ;)

Anything else? Yes. Since 2002, this was the first time we've played the closest to Frenzyville. Certainly Bedford Town play in an MK postcode, despite them being a totally separate place in a totally separate county. See, they're even stealing the identity of other towns around them and passing them off as their own. They've definitely got some dodgy genes in their DNA.

The strange thing about all this was going up the M1, seeing the words "Milton Keynes" on the turnoff and just feeling, well, unmoved. I expect had I taken a wrong turning and come across their unbuilt white elephant and their mongs (more on that in a bit) I would have felt differently, but it was weird seeing the name and just thinking "oh, it's them". Today was a bit of a hurdle for most of us, how we'd feel about going up near there, and to be honest it went without so much of a squeak. Helped that they don't like them much either, and why should they? It's a bit like us playing Brighton and singing Palace songs to them.

Even pulling into Toddington en route, I would have expected to see at least one of them, but of course, none about. Here's what grabbed me most of all. Driving around there, it was blatantly obvious that the whole area has NOTHING to do with Wimbledon. It's so alien that still having the "Dons" afterwards is a mix of delusion and sheer provocation. Or is it provocation? For us it would be, but for them I really don't know. I genuinely believe that they are that clueless about the whole thing full stop.

Reason I mention this is because whilst in South Mimms on the way back, I saw two of them shirted up. I would like to say this is the first time since 2002 that I've seen a Frenzy, but in truth I saw a few of them whilst on WISA missions back in the day. I can safely say this about them - they really are odd people. And I don't mean that in a warm, friendly, "banter" sort of way. They really do look freaky.

At AFCW, we do have pretty normal looking people - OK, one or two who you may consider oddballs, but by and large we're not too shabby a band to look at. No, I mean it. Franchise fans though are like the freak shows you see attached to non-league clubs. You really get the feeling with them they have low self-esteem, poor social skills, probably outcasts at school, frequent Games Workshop and go along with other retards to feel part of a community that is usually shut away from them. You could almost feel sorry for their simpleton demeanour and their "happy in their own world" outlook on life. Then you realise that OUR club was stolen for these deformed collection of [rather nasty insult about deformity censored] to have a team of their own and suddenly the hatred and anger rises to acceptable levels again.

Anyway, the retarded mutant cuntholes were done over 2-1 by Peterborough at the Wankiedome. Whose fans apparently kept singing "AFC Wimbledon" at them. Also allegedly was somebody using the opportunity to "visit" Wankie.......

So, was it worth it? Well, it was a nice day in the sun.

In a nutshell: At least we'll have a home game this week.

21 September 2008

AFC Wimbledon, meet Planet Earth. Believe you aquaint yourselves every so often.

I suppose there's a major degree of inevitability about H&Y 2 HBOS 1, and at some point we had to lose a league game. But this hurts. Not because it was a last minute goal totally against the run of play (it wasn't) but it just looked a game too far. Think of the first half against Maidenhead last week without the penalties. Passing? What's that? Defence? Missing in action. Looking like we'd get out of first gear? More chance of booking a flight on XL with a Lehman Brothers cheque.

It hurts even more looking at the league table right now. Going from top to third in the space of 90 minutes sucks. The thing is, we knew at some point we were going to get done over, and I've been boring telling anyone who would listen that we'd come a cropper yesterday. Best not to ignore me in future, eh? ;) But really, this fucking hurts. It's a kind of kick in the dignity of the way we played, or rather didn't. OK, we've let in goals before, but when you pull a goal back like we did, a little bit against the run of play, you don't decide that you shouldn't be level after all and let the opposition have another goal.

There'll be other days, and some afterwards were arguing how offside their goal was. But we had a reality check in more ways than one. And right now, I'm questioning whether Jason Goodliffe will continue his indian summer with us. We saw it last year at Chelmsford, and it happened again yesterday - as soon as we have a trickier side to deal with, he starts to look like a 34 year old. Not just me saying it BTW, at least at the game. Can you remember him getting taken off in a game with us where he hasn't been injured?

But really, I can't bring myself to single out just one individual. This was a bad day at the proverbial office. It was that kind of game we've been fearing deep down for a while. In effect, our luck finally ran out - when we hit the bar/post/defender in the dying seconds, you just knew, didn't you?

Should I really be as downhearted? To play ten games with just two draws and one defeat (at a team second in the league and in a purple patch) is pretty good from an objective point of view. Yet knowing that makes it feel worse. See, since this season has started we've rather liked being the team to beat haven't we? Being top really massaged the ego, and now for the next couple of weeks we'll have two sides above us. A deflated sense of worth isn't nice.

Is it a monkey off our back though? In truth, it probably is. Deep down, we all know we've delayed the inevitable defeat, and we now have two weeks to get our minds refocused. Yes, I know we're at Bedford in the FAC, a game that won't nearly be as straightforward as we hope. This is where the real test for us will come now. Are we going to start moping about in the corner, sulking and crying that somebody beat us? Or are we going to walk round like I still am at the moment, namely stung and more than a little pissed off at losing? I really wish we had a game this Tuesday to get this out of our system.

We need to get back to the AFCW that blitzed everyone up until Basingstoke. It seems a while ago now, but in the beginning we were new and we had a point to prove. If we get that attitude back, I still believe that we'll win most games. One swallow may make your summer, but one loss won't ruin our season. Or at least, it shouldn't do. The AFCW that played against Newport or Basingstoke or nailed poor Furruk into submission would have won yesterday. Sadly, we got a rather different AFCW....

All this said though, I don't have that same feeling of despair post-defeat that I did last season. Back then, that was seriously stomach churning. Right now, I'm fucked off but I know that very soon we'll be back on form. We will lose games, and it's surprising how long it's taken (and I don't mean that in a negative way either). This was an AFCW side yesterday that just needs to have a prod up the arse and has now gotten one. There are issues to iron out (Jason Goodliffe, midfield giving it away too often etc) but I suppose we've now got over that mental fear of losing a game.

We'll see.

Plus points: We scored

Minus points: We lost. Shadow of our recent selves. Defending. Midfield giving ball away far too often. Didn't even look likely to score at times.

The referee's a......: Hmph.

Them: What is it about West London teams who play in red and begin with the letter H? Loads of Chelski/Arse/odd QPR shirt on, which makes their "we are top of the league" sound a little bit, well, contrived. Bit like their attempts to be original with pro-Franchise chants. By the sound of it, even their barstaff don't like dealing with them. As for their side, they had a gameplan to nullify us, and they executed it well. Even down to timewasting about 35 minutes before the end. Time will tell if they'll be top for a long time, in all likelyhood they won't be. Just knew that Scott F would net as well.......

Point to ponder: Isn't it so different from last week? When I was typing this out I read what I said, and it did seem a bit too much on the gushing side. Then again, in my defence it really was how I felt at the time, and it stings that we didn't get remotely near that yesterday. We were warned earlier this week that DK and JM would take time to settle with each other - again, what you wouldn't give for a midweek game right now....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The streaker. Why do they bother? They're usually ugly blokes with small dicks who obviously like to be naked amongst 22 athletes. Yesterday's specimen certainly did. Oh, and I think there should be some amnesty for players who twat people who disrupt play in that manner. Just remember we had a free kick when he came on and building up a bit of momentum.... (2) A couple of decent tracks over their PA. Only a couple though. (3) Interesting reaction from other fans when we lose. Maybe this isn't the sophisticated league we thought it was after all. (4) Page nine of the programme seems to have offended a lot of people. You'd think people would learn not to deliberately provoke us - yes, you'll get a reaction all right, but one you won't be able to handle.....

Anything else? The leaflet given out beforehand asking to save a local cemetery. Why? Because they want to put a new runway over it for Heathrow. Having travelled through the world's busiest international airport recently, all I can say is - hurry up and build it. The way some people carry on, they'll convince you that the area around Heathrow is full of bijou hamlets and significant areas of natural beauty. Truth is, the area around Heathrow is a shithole. A dank, depressing, characterless collection of crummy warehouses and ill kept houses. Ever stayed around Bath Road or at the Jury's Inn in Hatton Cross? Or indeed, gone to watch Bedfont or Ashford? As if a few extra 777s will degrade the area.

As for saving cemeteries, surely the people most affected by it can't answer back?

So, was it worth it? Fuck off.

In a nutshell: Bollocks.

13 September 2008

As I sit here in SW19 Towers reflecting over Blow Job 3 Head 1, I feel a little bit of satisfaction right now. It may last, it may not (put your money on the latter), but deep down I've got that little warm glow.

No, we're only in September and long way to go etc etc, but sitting there after the game, watching our players warm down in that bright sunshine you get late in the day, it felt like an end of season match where you've won the title the week before. You know, that kind of warm feeling you get knowing you've done well. It's almost without a care in the world.

Well, today something strange happened. It was probably the first time I can remember in a while where we'd done something that changed the game in that manner (not the type of game-changing the PO final was I should add). In the first half we were a bit on the ordinary side. Our midfield decided it would be a laugh to either give the ball to opposition players or indulge in a new game called "Pass to the invisible man". Fun for all the family, though not necessarily good enough for a semi-pro outfit.

OK, we got a penalty, and JM slotted home pretty effortlessly. But it had that air of previous games didn't it? Bit unsure, pretty sloppy in places etc etc. That kind of thing. The exact same stuff I've been writing about for the last god knows how many weeks.

Enter Danny Kedwell.

OK, he didn't score, but by fuck did we look a different team at half time. Not only have we managed to get somebody who is going to be a real handful for defenders, but today we formulated a Plan B and it worked. That's why I'm feeling quite content right now - we showed to everyone (and most importantly ourselves) that we are flexible enough to change tactics and win. Passing game not working? Go a bit more direct. Opposition getting the hang of going direct? Switch back to passing it. If they suss out how to do both? Then they'll be in league football.

DK (or Danny Keswell as I kept calling him on WDON) didn't half shit up the Maidenhead defenders, and suddenly JM, Finn, Godfrey et al felt they had a bit more freedom. And it showed. If it wasn't for Shane "Grimsby 6-2" Gore this would have been the stuffing we've all been hoping for. Seriously, how on earth can a team go from nervous sloppyness to a battering ram in the second half?

I suppose it's quite obvious really. A team (note, not a collection of players) that is some way there but not quite discovers it now has a decent extra option and has gone up that level again. Not since the very early days has something changed that much in a 15 minute break. This is more like we expected last season, let alone this. In the second half, we looked like we had a clue what we were doing.

DK didn't look out of place at all with us. Unlike last year, where you did wonder if JM was purchased just because we could. True, JM's now our golden player, but I think what pleases me right now is that sense it's coming together. It could have all gone to shit today, and at times in the first half I thought it would....

Hyperbole? OK, just a tad. We've now got the second placed team at their place next Saturday. A tough game for sure, and normally a draw wouldn't be a bad result. But the way people are at the moment, we really would feel deflated if we draw or - Satan forbid - lost at Church Road. This against the form team right now at their place. That's a slight touch of arrogance there, admittedly, but it's more down to confidence. Just imagine if we go there next week and do what we did in the first half of Basingstoke or second half today? With more goals, obviously. The message to everyone else would be striking - step up to us and receive a slap for your troubles. No matter where you are in the table.

My natural pessimism caution usually kicks in here. We're bound to lose sometime, and now I've said all the above get a tenner on H&Y to gub us. And Maidenhead aren't Chelmsford or H&W. The trouble is, it's hard to think that way right now. Reason is this - Maidenhead before tonight were top five in the table, and they really didn't look it by the time we finished with them. Normally, you play a team just three points behind you (as they were at 3pm today) and they're tense affairs with one goal in it. Did you feel like you've been through a tense game upon leaving KM today?

No, it won't go down as our best performance of the season, but I'm happy because I saw a marked change in us the second half which should push us into the tricky winter phases. Actually, a lot of it is down to me watching Lewes v R&D on Thursday. I know it's a different level, but I really did watch it with an open mind and think "we're good enough to be up there". And when I think of today with DK, JM, Finn and co harrass a good 4 or 5 defenders at almost every attack, and remember they're one of the better teams thus far....

Don't worry, I'll be back to normal next week when we lose 3-0. Until then, here's.......

Plus points: We won. Second half. DK's debut. JM's penalty taking skills. Development and implementation of Plan B. Ability to go up a gear.

Minus points: No clean sheet. Midfield in first half.

The referee's a..........: Bit of a mixed viewpoint on this one. Some say he was one of the better refs we've seen. Others think he was a pickniting little tosspot. Me, I just find it odd that he needed to rely on his lino to give our blatant first penalty....

Them: Well, they held their own for the first half anyway. Tell you what though, they didn't half get petulant after we went 2-0 down. Sadly, no on-field bustups this time round. Thing is, they weren't a bad side, but that maybe shows what a different level we're on right now. You just knew ex-Frenzy cunt Pacquette was going to score though, didn't you? Didn't he try to large it up to the TE afterwards? Hint : try doing that when you're not scoring consolation goals....

Point to ponder: Doesn't DK today tell us something? Put it this way, we persisted with Danny Webb last season and we all know what happened there. We rued losing out on Nic McDonnell. We would have probably gone for the likes of Parquette or a player from someone like St Albans if it was up to our fans. I'm sure you can work out what I'm hinting at here. If not, let me put it another way - there is nothing to fear from buying from a higher level. As long as you can afford it.

Meet the manager: TB's latest post-match musings here (WAV format). Nothing really new, although his comments about going to Hayes when he was at Shots are disconcerting. Still, if we win the league this season....

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) John Scales at the game. Still looks as fit and athletic as he ever did, though he'll be a lot slower now. Seemed to enjoy himself as well. Of course, I remember his initial games for us when those in the South Stand weren't so keen...... (2) How many kids were there today? As many as on Gary Glitter's hard drive. (3) The extention to the Main Strank Stand opened today, and it feels like it's always been there. Which in engineering/construction/architectural terms is a good thing. Does that increase our overall capacity? With luck, the next major project will involve rebanking the WB. There's more to spend on KM for the short/medium term than you think... (4) JM and TB receiving Player/Manager of the Month awards and not managing to lose the game. Maybe this is our season? (5) What absolute crap music over the PA...

Anything else? Just a thought about next week at H&Y. Or rather Church Lane. Last time we went there, we were playing Viking Greenford on December 1st, 2002. In the CCL days, lest we forget. We won 4-0 and you can read it here. Apart from the obvious nostalgia trip, when many still saw AFCW as this idealist young being, it's gobsmacking to see how much things have changed within six years. I didn't even know we had a player called Tony Readings. Mind you, some things remain reassuringly familiar. Witness "We were playing fancy football, trying to walk it into the net but always with that final telling pass going astray". Also, the attendance was 895 (which for a game on a Sunday was actually quite good). We'll break that on Saturday, which just goes to show how much our support has held up. And in some parts, increased...

So, was it worth it? We're top, Chelmsford lost, and the cuntholes lost 2-0 to Oldham. It can only be downhill from now on.

In a nutshell: Nice feeling isn't it?

Are we back up now? Good. There's going to be a little bit more upheaval site-wise in the coming weeks I think though, so be warned....

I didn't write too many notes about losing to Chelmsford last night, though if truth be told I'm not that bothered about losing. I get the feeling that had it not been for competition rules, we would have played a far weakened side anyway, although I suppose it helped us out more as a result.

So, thoughts? Well, without Main and AN Other we look nothing up front. Poor Sully is clearly off the pace and already I'm starting to wonder if he is going to kick in much before Xmas. Not having pre-season has really hurt him, although I won't go so far as to call him a passenger just yet. I honestly can't remember who was up with him, but he certainly didn't stand out. As for Finn, there's more chance of Paul Merson passing a Ladbrokes than our #11 distributing the ball....

What this has proven is how much we need another legitimate quality striker, and from what I can gather TB is actively looking for one. Whenever talk of a new one comes up, our support does seem to come up with names from the BSS. My own feeling is that we're looking higher, as in the Conference, for a really pukka one, as good as Main is. I know we signed JM from a side that was in the same division from us, but that was down to sheer luck that he was suddenly available and we had the money.

From what I've seen thus far, BSS level strikers aren't really as good as Main. Sure, there are the odd one or two who could make the step up with us, but perversely it'll be easier to get a Conf level one than one currently in the CS. Especially if they're at a Conf side going nowhere, and we can offer a little bit of money and 2500+ crowds every other week.

Since our opening run of results, the game has changed already. All of a sudden, we're not so keen to consolidate. We really have been given an opportunity to at least push for a decent playoff spot. In the not-so-distant past we would have given our left bollock to keep Nic McD (who I found out last night will always be carrying an injury, so maybe Goldberk did us a favour). Now, we think to ourselves we can get better in.

Just think of the message of intent we would give to the rest of the division if we get the right man in. John Fashanu in 1985 all over again? Does seem that any transfer we do will be more of a Berbatov than a Robinho. The former will cost a lot, but will enhance the team and push it onto the very achievable next level. The latter just screams "Look at me! Look at me! I've got loads of money!" and will ultimately fuck things up. That's probably why we've waited a good eight games in before we're sniffing about.

And yes, it will probably mean another budget buster. I can feel a couple of nervous twitches already. Bottom line is this - can we afford to pay out big money for a single player? Yes. Can we afford not to? An even bigger nod in the affirmative. Last night and the last couple of games have made that last question redundant. The fact that we're unbeaten in the league, playing well enough yet still looking to strengthen is an admission that we're nowhere near where we want to be as yet.

This all said, it probably wouldn't have helped us much last night, as they wouldn't have played anyway. Think we can now safely say that Sullivan, Godfrey et (Bel)al would be down the pecking order should AN Other come in. Do we have much strength in depth? Our second string defence actually isn't that much worse than the starting one, although we do have that ability to shit ourselves whenever a cross comes in. Michael Peacock's injury really didn't look a good one though. Oh, and what happened to the "three additional minutes" at the end? Bastards...

I suppose I'm relieved that we lost more than anything. Maybe that's too strong a word, although I did originally put down "liberated". Maybe I should have kept that, in truth. It reminded us that we won't have it all our own way, that there are still weaknesses, and also that it'll remind us of what defeat feels like. Not that I want to make a habit of it, obviously. If this makes us regain some of that focus lost recently, so much the better. Once we realised it wasn't on telly until the proper Conf sides came in, and it would be regionalised for the whole tournament anyway, the Setanta Shield lost its appeal. Bryco Cup under another name, effectively. Good if you're not chasing promotion, a pain in the arse if you are.

Actually, last night was strange in more ways than one. This must have been the lowest away turnout in the AFCW era, certainly for a proper(ish) first team. 150 or something, wasn't it? As was pointed out last night, this is what it must feel to be like a "normal" Ryman Prem side (though I'd go further and say BSS as well). Not many of you, not quite all-conquering, feeling you're totally outnumbered. Perhaps it'll train us next season for that long midweek trip in December to Barrow? ;)

What it did do was allow us to roam around Chelmsford's ground for once. Firstly, their bar is nice. Makes the KM ones look even more manky, and I think if we're stuck in Norbiton for the foreseeable future, we will need to splash out a bit on making it nicer to have functions in. I note that their functions included Paul Merson (sold out, quelle surprise) and - I presume this passes for high class entertainment in Essex - a tribute night to Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue. As if the originals weren't bad enough. Still, it got their PA bloke excited, even suggesting that he hoped the counterfit Kylie looked like the real one. Dirty bastard.

Let's be honest here, they're a pretty decent outfit. I think we'll be duelling them for a little while to come yet, certainly. From observing them close up last night, I think they could survive quite easily in the Conf size-wise. They're bigger than Grays and Forest Green Rovers, although I still think that Newport County are the second biggest side in the regional Conference level.

Unlike the more self-righteous of our fans, I don't think their funding will cause them grief. Two things might though. Firstly, their ground. Never had the chance to walk round it before, and it's, well, weird. There's a feel of lack of permanence about it. Granted, without it they wouldn't be around, and the view from their ROROs actually isn't that bad. But let's face it - it ain't a football ground. It coped well enough last night, but as our visit there last season showed, when you get over 2000 in there it's shit. Already, it's getting a "reputation", and certainly some of our own fans aren't bothering this time for November 1. Just ask Ramsgutter what happens when people don't want to visit you.

Secondly, and this is in reference to future support. Their fanbase is a lot older than ours. They've got a fair smattering of kids, including the village idiots standing near us last night. They kept going "England's number one" to their keeper every time he kicked the ball. Just proves there's a fine line between having a character and just being retarded. But even with our small demographic last night, we probably had more 16-36 year olds than they did.

Now, one of the problems for WFC in the 80s to mid 90s was that we had very few 16-36 year olds supporting us. Plenty of kids and the old guard, but it's that demographic that will go along to support the team regularly. And the ones who will get involved at a higher level if the shit hits the fan - just look at the average age of the WISA hierarchy during the Franchise shit, the bulk were under 40. However, because of that lack of bodies on the ground in 1991, our fight against Selhurst was lost from day one. If Chelmsford are to match us, they'll need to have people who will dig in to hassle their local council over a proper ground etc. Actually, that could apply to a lot of clubs even in the Conference as well.

Anyway, enough "know thy enemy" bollocks. It's Maidenhead on Saturday. And I can't be alone in not only wanting a win but a good stuffing as well.......

7 September 2008

I know it's a bit late, but I had server problems and (more accurately) little desire to write about Palace 1 Seagulls 1. Gah, gah, and gah again. What was it I was saying about getting too complacent?

If truth be told, I'm glad that I gave myself an overnight pass on this. I'm not really sure about the sort of angle I wanted to take over this game. Part of me (a rather large part actually) thinks that this was a pile of horse shit. Our crisp, incisive passing went AWOL, our midfield looked as happy as a moose standing next to Sarah Palin and less said about JM's metamorphis into Danny Webb the better. This was, in short, the worst performance of the season.

The other part of me isn't calling us cunts just yet. We're still top, we did hit the post and probably could/should have won it anyway. But even so, I feel a bit deflated and I know I'm not the only one. I know I'll be accused of predicting it so much that it'll eventually come true, but this kind of performance (if not result) has been coming a mile off. You know it, I know it, and I bet you our management knows it.

I was going to wax lyrical about how this had touches of last season about it. However, then I started reading what we were doing exactly last year....

"Originally, I wasn't planning to do any sort of update for the Borehamwood pile of decomposing camel shite game, but after a round trip of 4.5 hours travelling and a "performance" that doesn't suggest but confirm abject doom, I just have to put fingers to keyboard.

Make no mistake - we are fucked. And suddenly, my last report doesn't seem so OTT, eh? Keeping players in for two consecutive games afterwards hasn't worked. Making them watch the video of the Harrow game in an additional training session hasn't worked either. Before the final whistle yesterday, I said to the guy next to me "that's it, don't expect to see some of these players again". I'll doubtlessly be proved wrong on that score, but it seems like TB has finally seen enough.

Wonder what he means by fringe players though? Shroot? Goddard? People like Beckford? Let's face it, they couldn't do any worse. Last night, we saw a collection of players only united by the colour of their shirts and the collapse in confidence to score. Even if Webb had buried that penalty, somehow BW would have just got a second. True, we ran about a lot more, and we did try a bit better after Saturday (not as though that was difficult), but this XI hasn't got "it". To paraphrase a famous quote by an ex-goalie, we've nothing here. No passion, no committment, no skill, nothing. Just shit.

Back to TB's comments. He's obviously waiting for RB to get fit so he can finally drop Jolly. I don't know how long he'll put up with Webb, but clearly Jolly will be the first to be dropped. If he gets this new guy in (and by naming him publicly it certainly sets out a message of intent) then Webb might be looking for another place as well. I don't hate Webb, I don't think anyone does, but if he drops out at AFCW that's surely got to be it for him. He never lasts at any one place for long, and I think we're starting to see why.

It's quite blatant though that we've been badly let down. I can forgive a bad performance or two if we're starting to come together. But BW showed that it won't now. And probably not ever. If some of the underperformers are on nice juicy little contracts, bite the bullet and pay them off. Or at least scare the shit out of them - remove them from their comfort zone. It's clear that they just don't fancy the Ryman and we can do better.

And if it's true that some of them are openly questioning TB's competence, then they definitely have no place here. We all know about TB's record at Aldershot and Hayes, but it's common knowledge that he knew what our squad was like even before he applied for the AFCW job. I don't think Brown is as clueless as some would like to believe. Fuck knows what they do with some managers I've seen who just yell abuse all the time......"

Suddenly it doesn't seem quite so bad, does it? This by the way was written exactly on 5/9/07, and suddenly we're concerned about being top by two clear points? Or that we're just slipping a little bit after eight games sans défaite? I dunno, yesterday was a strange one and I don't just mean the weather. I guess we should have seen the warning signs even before we set off. How many people were predicting an easy win? Doesn't work like that, does it? Especially not in the BSS.

Will this result send us plummeting down the division, merely to scrap it out with the also-rans? Doubt it. But as the initial euphoria dies down, we're now getting the games we thought we were going to have straight off. In fact, it's been like this since the second half of the Basingstoke game. It was almost as though we've hit a mental stumbling block when it comes to that giant wooden frame with the stringy patterned sheet hanging around it. What is it we had on Tuesday - seventeen corners and 0 goals?

Which is why TB's comments (WAV format) are so damn interesting. What got me was this quote : "We've been winning games, which hides a multitude of sins". So it's not just me who thinks that we haven't quite been the all-conquering outfit some think we are right now. One thing is certain - our current position is vulnerable and we need to improve further.

Will we get that new striker that he's referring to? Funnily enough, we stand a better chance now than we did a few weeks back. Firstly, we have money - I expect a lot of these sides are running very tight on their budget now, and if the shit hits them they'll release a load by Xmas. Secondly, even now we're late enough into the season for players elsewhere to twig if they're at the right club. A player may be a goodun for us but shit somewhere else.

Not only that, but being up the right end of the table should help us. We could be a Conference side next season (yes, even after WSM) and don't doubt that wouldn't persuade somebody suitable to pack their boots and hop on the train to Norbiton. Could we in fact end up with a Conf level player? And not somebody past his peak (ie JG) but a real decent one? This ain't the Ryman.

That all said though, short of us getting a Luis Cumbers out on loan again, fuck knows where we'll get that right type of player.

Anyway, while we sort that out.....

Plus points: We didn't lose. Alan Inns.

Minus points: We didn't win. Lackluster. Little fluency. JM's loss of form. Inability to pass properly. Shooting full stop. Sense it was only ever going to be a draw. Their goal.

The referee's a....: Can't remember too much he did, and there wasn't much gnashing of teeth afterwards about him. Mind you, says a lot when you have to mention how anonymous a ref is, as though it's a rare occurance.

Them: Had a game plan, stuck to it well and could have come away with a victory. They certainly made us look ordinary in midfield. Liked their #9 as well, and perhaps TB could make a cheeky bid for him? Not particularly dirty either. I reckon part of our complacency yesterday came with the knowledge that WSM shouldn't be in this division - that they were going to be an uber-crap side there to make up the numbers because of the last two seasons. Worth pointing out that they were a bunch of ex-pros...

Point to ponder: Seriously, it was strange full stop yesterday wasn't it? Even doing WDON duties I sensed a distinct lack of buzz about. It wasn't pre-season like but more of that expectation to win. Their goal certainly was a slap in the chops, and it was stunned silence for a while - how dare they score against us? Welcome to the BSS, everyone.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) "Sound of the Suburbs" played on the PA. Bizzarely enough, I put on a CD in my car going to the game and that very song came on. Funny how nearly 30 years after it was released it still sounds as apt as ever. (2) David Barnard turned up. Good to see he still recognises me. Not wearing a Russian mafia-style suit this time - maybe Chelski are having to cut costs now they're not the Prem's most bankrolled club? (3) Cold, wasn't it? Not that I'm a fan of hot weather, but anyone dreaming of Indian summer days must be wanting their money back.

Anything else? As the sight of a WSM flag up the TE (why? I thought we had segregation?) was apparent to all, another thing we're finding out about the BSS. With the exception of Bromley, I really didn't expect that few amount of opposition fans. That was Ryman One level. OK, I know that WSM and others have to travel a lot further than divisions below us, and yesterday was shitty weather-wise, but have we over-estimated this division off-field? Are WSM really bigger than the likes of Horsham? I think that does explain why teams like FoF, Redbridge and now Slutton find it harder to bounce straight back up when they go down. And why the current CS table has a rather familiar look....

So, was it worth it? No

In a nutshell: Not so easy now, is it?

3 September 2008

Looks like we didn't get stuffed after all. In fact, no matter what way you look at it, Irons 0 Trouser Press 1 was one helluva good result. A trip to deepest darkest Essex, difficult opponents, slightly knocked confidence after Saturday, and Jon Main suffering from the curse of the Player of the Month.

No, we shouldn't get carried away. In fact, it will be wrong to - there's still a long, long, long way to go. The league hasn't fully settled down yet, and we've only played the lower ranked teams. At times our defence looked shaky and.....

Ah fuck it. We will get carried away. We are brilliant. In fact, we're more than brilliant. Arsene Wenger is asking us for DVDs of our games, that's how brilliant we are. What's that I hear? A £70m bid from Man Citeh for Jon Main? Far too low. It would be an absolute tragedy if they didn't award the BSS title to us in October because it will make a mockery of this season. How can you call a league competitive with us in it? We're far too good for this league. In fact, we're far too good for the Conference proper, and they ought to just promote us to League Two to make it a level playing field.

Where should we plan the route for our victory parade? Around Wimbledon? Maybe take in Morden as well? Quite fancy a free concert at Canizaro to welcome our heroes - it'll make the piss up at KM last year look like your editor's house when he's on abstinence. Promotion single as well? We could call it "In A League Of Our Own". Or how about an Elvis cover, "Blue Square Blues"? Heard that Katy Perry is up for it anyway. Certainly wouldn't want to be WSM this Saturday, in fact I've heard they're offering a walkover because they don't fancy a new orifice......

Ahem.

Actually, even at this early stage you could be forgiven for thinking a tad like this. Generally, our expectations at the beginning of the season were so low that even playoffs at this stage would set the giddyometer up high. But now, you would feel somewhat deflated if we did finish about 10th or even just scrape into the playoffs. Funny how a mere 5-6 weeks ago we would have snapped your arm off if you'd offered us even a lowly playoff spot at the season's end. Although would you want to go through yet another playoff final?

So, what's going right? Well, as the game showed last night, we're not scared to keep playing football. It wasn't so easy this time, and passing around the back as we are will bite us on the arse eventually. But if you're going to pass it about, you have to be effective with it, which thankfully is what we are.

But there's something more than that - our tenacity. We've played at two difficult venues in the past four days (yesterday without one of our recognised strikers as well) and came away with four points. In fact, had JG's head been about six inches closer and Elliot Godfey's shot been less effimate, it would have been the full lot. Both times we haven't been at our best defensively, yet we still had enough to come back with, and indeed yesterday I think we had more in reserve if we needed it.

I think I've worked out why we've got it this season, and it came to me when I heard that Chelmsford only drew 2-2 at Bromley. Last season we knew we kept throwing points away, and that seems to be in the back of our mind every game now. While it's far too early to say we're emulating CC's run from last season, they're showing early signs of our run last time out. Last season we didn't half ride our luck, and let's be honest here - we are fucking fortunate to be in the BSS this season. But for this campaign, we know we've had to adopt a different attitude, and its results are illustrated every time you look at the current BSS table.

You can't buy that attitude. You almost can't teach it, but you have to ram it through somehow. Having the best players from last season helps, because they went through the mill and know how far they had to go to have that little Blue Square badge on their shirts. But buying the likes of Inns and Judge has also helped. There doesn't appear to be too many egos about this time, nobody looks likely to storm off in a car at half time or generally be disruptive (watch three players do exactly that now). Could we be turning into the side we should have been last season? Fingers, toes and other limbs crossed.

Questions are now, can we keep this up? If losing becomes a habit then so does winning. Do you realise that if we beat WSM on Saturday we will have already beaten last season's best run? Last season it was seven games without a loss, and we just seemed a lot more vulnerable last season. We were never comfortable then even when we were on a run, yet I honestly haven't felt like that this time. While I'm always expecting to lose a game like Saturday's, you get the feeling that it will be our fault if we let it slip. But then, that's what confidence does to you.

Perhaps more importantly, we really can get better. While I think we've learnt how to deal with set pieces a bit more effectively, our own taking of them isn't too swift. We need to start being a bit sharper in front of goal (as periods last night and at Basingstoke prove, do that and we really will win the league by February). And I still shit myself whenever the opposition get into our half. Then again, I am paranoid. If we start doing those things, and if the scare stories about pitches getting worse turn out to be bollocks, this could turn out to be one heck of a season.

Oh, and Hussey's free kick. Nuff sed ....

Plus points: Win. Away. In Essex. Clean sheet. Kept going. Kept playing football. Looking like a team. No Manager of the Month curse. Chris Sullivan looks useful. Decent passing. Bit of bite as well. No late goals (tell you why in a minute).

Minus points: Defence in first 15 minutes. Can't put away corners/periods of pressure. Tony Finn's gob.

The referee's a.......: Tit. Mind you, as I just said, Finn needs to keep quiet a bit more - I can sort of understand getting sent off for kicking somebody in the bollocks, but we've improved ourselves no end by our discipline. For Finn to seriously risk a red by whinging like a Walton and Hersham fan just pisses everyone off. Look, if the referee ain't going to award you a free kick for a two-footed lunge, he certainly won't like you moaning about it. Life's a bitch and then you marry one. Oh, and you'll be pleased to know I got an email this week from the guy who refereed the Bromley game. Got the feeling he was a little bit miffed that I didn't slag him off....

Them: Despite their record, I can see how they drew at Chelmsford and stuffed Team Taxpayer. Indeed, could have had three goals themselves in the first fifteen minutes. Once we settled down ourselves, we did outdo them by a long-shot on the skill and technique. Funny to think that a mere couple of years ago Braintree were miles ahead of anyone else in the Ryman. Looks like another team on the move in the future - although with the current housing market, maybe another outfit that perhaps won't think it through entirely properly (ref: Horsham).

By the sounds of it, their manager was a cock - he seemed very keen to waste time at 0-0 with slow returning of balls etc. Then when we went ahead, he got all uppity, as though somebody had just told him he had ten minutes to live. Strange that. Apparently even had a row with TB, slagging him (and us) off for daring to slow the game down when it was nearly time. Oh, how disrespectful of us. We should be deducted a million points and sent back to the CCL. We must have been exactly like East Thurrock United then, a side who when we played them was managed by..... er ........ the current Braintree manager. No wonder Inns Davis went up to him afterwards and called him a cunt. Mind you, after looking at the table I bet the ambitious Lee Harding (their chairman) was saying similar to him afterwards, and it wasn't for signing Grazioli....

Point to ponder: I said I'd mention about late goals, and why I'm glad we didn't score any. Scoring late on can only ever be a bonus and never something you do as a tactic. Last night, we scored after 69 minutes and I think we played better as a result, because we were less agitated about having to net late on to win/draw the game. If winning and losing becomes a habit, then so does scoring at the death. At some point, you won't get an 89th minute leveller, and you'll be spending half the game beforehand relying on that. Me, I'd rather kill the game off after seventy minutes, preferably with about three goals in our favour. Does the ticker good...

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Realising we only have to make about four (league) trips to Essex this season. Also, when I got to Clackett Lane at 2330, it was deserted, all bar WH Smith was shut and the cafe didn't have any food. Guess since I don't have to go to Kent/Essex for the hundreth time in a season their profits have dropped by 80% (2) "Get your tits out number 2" - us to their right back. Sadly, he was male. (3) Speaking of our turnout, over 600 there (and one source reckoned 800). That is not bad at all, considering it's an evening game and at a ground many have been to before. Success really does breed success. (4) Me thinking what a real pisser it would be if we'd lost.

Anything else? Yeah, the Surrey Comet report linking Marcus Gayle back to us for the reserves. At the risk of getting taken to a Shropshire mansion, shot in the back of the head and having the house set on fire, am I the only one a bit unhappy at reading this? I should explain these comments of sacrilege. I have absolutely no problem with MG returning if he's the right man for the job. But this AN Other must really think he hasn't got a chance now - the general fanbase will want Gayle back at KM because he's "one of us", and he may not necessarily be what we need. AN Other is just going to be looked at and people will say "yeah, he's good but I wanted Marcus back". This position up for grabs is far too important to bring in a "name" for the sake of it being a name, especially as MG's managerial experience isn't all that. If Gayle is the best coach for this role, then I will approve of it 1000% and then some. Just can't help thinking we may have burnt a bridge already...

So, was it worth it? Victories in Essex always are.

In a nutshell: Now watch WSM do us on Saturday.