24 November 2001

Arse, arse and thrice arse. Always shit on the fans 0 Always shit on the old gold and black 1 was our however many game without a win. After the debacle of Tuesday came a slightly different debacle. Tell me - when you do a sliding tackle on an attacker and your goalie picks it up, is it deemed a backpass? Well if not, we lost this game because of some severely dodgy decision making. Actually, we didn't play that badly for once. Wolves certainly didn't look like a team near the top of the table, though I remember thinking that about a few teams last season who finished higher than us. Main trouble today was the firepower, or lack of. DC can't do everything himself, Shipps is becoming a tad like Leaburn and I don't care if he has got a kewl nickname - Agyemann is CRAP.

As for the rest of it......

Plus points: Played with a lot more spirit than Tuesday, not that that's saying much. Now that Trond is back, we look better in midfield.

Minus points: Losing. Still afraid to shoot. And why did we keep poncing about when we were 1-0 down? Jeez....

The referee's a ...... : Goat fucking cunt who was clearly blinded by having Koppout's cum in his eyes. Well, how else would YOU describe him?

Speaking of increasingly moronic yarpie club killers : He was there at the game, though he didn't turn up for the OWFF. Just as well, apparently. But he was seen liasing with some business type chappies.

Aerosmith/Jesus Christ Comeback Award : Neil Ardley, who wowed everyone by returning from a broken leg just two weeks ago with a heart-warming performance of skill, passion and excellence, with a stature rising quicker than Cockpull's penis on a date with Winkelmann. OK, I'm not being serious - he's still crap. Did you know he's called "Dad" by other players?

Quotes: (1) "Bunch of arse" - somebody of my aquaitance after the Wolves goal went in. Bunch of shit, more like. (2) "We ought to sell Agyemann for a packet of biscuits" - my dad.

Ve vill control you: Your humble editor was the victim of Selhurst stewarding today. As you can see above, I have a new camera. Well, I nearly had it taken off me because "you cannot take video". Like fuck I was doing that. TBH, I think that despite surface-level softening-ups of attitudes at WFC (see "Truth" below), there is definitely a more oppressive atmosphere at WFC going on. This was the first time I have ever been done for photography. I would not be surprised if they're trying to stop people taking shots for Y&B. Also, the ballboys were being given quite strict instructions by some authoritative looking nonce, which I have never seen before. Be careful.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Why was the scoreboard advertising the next Trust meeting? On Thusday 6th December? No, that is not a typo, not on my part anyway. (2) Mild's third booking in as many games. Legend status awaits. (3) Weren't Wolves fans quiet? Bet Reg Davis will be being an obnoxious prick after this result. Mind you, is there ever a time when he isn't an obnoxious prick?

N--i--c--e: Trond and DC's new #1 crewcuts. Very stylish.

OWFF watch: Not really a great deal of substance - expect your candidates to give you their manifestos through the mail very soon. Personally, I'm going for whoever promises to nuke Koppout without wasting taxpayers money. Koppout himself wasn't there, but Mattias "greasy cunt" Hauger was. And was reportedly being quite conciliatory, especially re: Merton. No, I don't think anyone believed him either.

So, was it worth it? Maybe, but then we always have had a habit of playing well against the top teams in our division.

In a nutshell: Bugger.

 

21 November 2001 [AM EDITION]

It gets worse, doesn't it? Saddled 2 Saddlers 2 and I don't think the mood at WFC has been as black as it has been since we lost 2-0 to Sheff Weds on that fateful night in the Premiership. Last night saw (or heard) the first audible "Burton Out" chants. Burton himself looked pissed, and I could only see DC, Coops and - tellingly - Mild clapping us off. Mild in fact last Saturday hauled back a couple more players to get them to applaud us. As for the game, this should be filed under "WFC midweek SP game". Yup, it was a carbon copy of every single midweek game. Crap, unable to hold ANYTHING and seriously depressing to boot. DC scored twice, they scored twice but the rest of it looked like we were as disinterested as fuck.

Here goes:

Plus points: Well, we didn't lose. DC played well despite playing his third game in 7 days. Mild looks good.

Minus points: The whole god-damn experience again.

Apparently..... : KD gave a bit of verbal to somebody behind the Whitehorse Lane end. Naughty.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) The last game we actually won in the league at SP at a night game was 4-1 vs Barnsley. Yes, we all know that, but it's worth re-iterating once again. (2) The silence after Walsall scored their second goal was eerie. Seriously eerie. Up until then, the atmosphere had been OK. Not special, and despite what Burton says we DO get behind the team despite the club wanting us dead. (3) Walsall's away support. Makes me almost feel good about ours.

If it makes you feel better: Yellow and Blue is now officially outselling the Official Programme by 4 copies to 1. So much so that Reg "Come On You Wolves" Davis is now apparently nicking various bits out of it to save his failing rag. Great front cover from last nights Y&B - especially what the t-shirts said...

Quotes: "Walsall were as good as us" - my old mum. What an indicement.

So, was it worth it? : If you want to see how a club, who showed so much promise on and off the field only a mere matter of months ago, can totally disintegrate in front of our eyes, then yes. Else, no.

In a nutshell: What now?

 

18 November 2001 [AM EDITION]

Hopefully back to normal with the updates - Dickie Bird 1 Turkeys 1 was practically a re-run of the Sheff Utd game for those who were too busy protesting then. And looking at it, it's amazing how we have become so, well, ordinary. Certainly for the first 70 or so minutes anyway, we looked like a lower-to-mid-table outfit, and this despite having three internationals. Needless to say, it was no surprise that we went 1-0 down, our defense as usual just got torn apart whenever somebody has an attacking idea. However, to our credit, we did start to go up a gear and forced as much pressure at a game that I've witnessed for some time, certainly this season. Mind you, we had to wait until 3 minutes from time for Coops to net in an identical goal to the Sheff Utd game. Again, that was for those who were too busy protesting then.

So what? Well, IMO something ain't right. We all know that Koppout's shit is doing the team NO favours whatsoever, and anyone who seriously believes that a team isn't affected by boardroom strife should look at so many teams who have gone down with disunity at decision-making level. However, some questions about Burton himself are being raised - had we lost yesterday we would no doubt be expecting a bit of "I blame the fans" shit. One thing is for sure, we ain't going up.

Anyway...

Plus points: We drew. We scored. The way we forced our way back into the game was most excellent. Solid debut from Mild - even got himself booked 10 minutes in. Putting a few crosses in for a change.

Minus points: Our defense is still shit, even KC looks out of sorts. Burton taking Jobi off for no apparent reason (he got booed - TB not Jobi). Still look very ordinary.

Point to ponder: Do you think it was wise to play DC and KC so soon after returning from Tehran? I don't.

Quotes: (1) "The Chesterfield spire is more bent than Peter Cork" - CUNW, after observing the architectural quirk in the Derbyshire town. (2) "Mattias is a greasy cunt" - CUNW again, this time giving his opinion on Mr Hauger. Kids, this is what drinking too much Guiness and other alcoholic beverages does to you. Stay sober :) (3) "I once asked this vegetarian bird to give me a blow job - when I found out I told her to suck on a dildo" - the man known here as BJ discussing his favourite subject. No, we are NOT sexually repressed. Much. (5) "He's got a heart of gold and the verbal diahorria of a goat" - BJ again on somebody else. Not footy related but very funny.

Quotes special - chants: (1) "Sing when we're injured" - chant from us when the subdued Barnsley fans all suddenly found their voice when Kelvin went down crocked for two minutes. (2) "We all agree, Letterman's better than Parky" - us giving our informed opinion on the transatlantic chat show host war. (3) "You can stick your Dicky Bird up your arse" - heard at Barnsley station. (5) "I'm in the mood for Francis, he dances, when he scores for the Wimbledon" - Nolans inspired chant for Damo. Hey, it's better than singing "Timewarp" to him.

Fight, fight, fight: Forget the Lewis fight last night, here's some real violence : (1) The mouthy as fuck Barnsley fans at Barnsley station. So mouthy that they (a) proved their hardness by hiding behind some coppers and (b) used a live railway line as some sort of barrier. Funniest of all though, the copper just physically shoved a couple of them. (2) The no doubt friendly stag-like butting of heads between X. Wiggins and two other fellow Wombles on the Barnsley-Sheffield bus on wheels. This led to some copy-cat rucks, including your humble editor being viciously assaulted by a man who was photographed by SW19 wearing a Hawaiian shirt coming back from Grimsby and a man who claims his sex life was represented in the Grimsby report. (3) If the last two incidents had a bit of banter to them, this certainly didn't. For some reason, Brum were at Sheff Utd, West Brom were at Rotherham and we were at Barnsley (obviously). Us and the two Midlands sides congregated at Sheffield at the same time. You probably can guess the rest, though we didn't get involved. Needless to say, a couple of Blades are probably still in hospital, a pub or two probably needs refurbishing and the police are doubtless claiming overtime. The most dumbest move of all was putting both Blues and Baggies on the same train going to New Street....

Correction: I have been advised that the report linking "I" to "T" at Grimsby is inaccurate. There has been NO blow jobs given, and the two persons involved are NOT who you think they are anyway. In fact, the initials I have given are incorrect anyway. Can you now stop threatening to kill me please, "I"?

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) Meeting a London Baggie coming back (who lives near me, go figure) and complained about having to travel long distances to watch shit. Funny, so do we. (2) The first 45 minutes. Probably not the worst 45 minutes ever by a WFC team but certainly not worth £16. Or £0.16. (3) Me, an extremely horny professional dominatrix (trust me, she really was extremely horny) and the 1824 Sheffield to London St Pancras full of sexually repressed WFC fans. You can guess the rest, but you'd probably be wrong :)

So, was it worth it? Probably not

In a nutshell: Don't buy champagne for the promotion party this year

 

11 November 2001 [AM EDITION]

Right, sorry about the delay in writing Bastards 1 Blades 1, but that's the joy of international travel for you :) I didn't actually make much note of the game TBH, hence the brevity - I think Cooper scored and nobody could pass to save their lives - because like a couple of hundred militants I was down the front giving it some to the cameras. True, some people don't like that, but then ATM I couldn't give a flying fuck - our club is on the brink of being MURDERED and we all know that the same people who are anti-anti-MK are the same ones who will complain about the club being moved if it does happen. The whistles did give me tinnitus though, but they made the point - a cursory glance at the papers yesterday all made mention of the protests (one particular description of "screeching" was particularly amusing).

Another good protest idea was the blockading of the Sheff Utd coach - I had to leave early and subsequently didn't hear about this until last night, but it sounds like it was the first "proper" bit of militancy I've seen for a pretty long while (Main Stand Junta notwithstanding). And I bet the FA will be asking questions of WFC as to why it happened, possible embarassment of Koppout is always a good idea. I know that WISA have some ideas as to what to do next, I don't know myself and obviously if I did I wouldn't tell anyone, but a quote stating "this is only the start" from guess who shouldn't be dismissed lightly. The other thing about them was the fact that it appeared to end very peacefully - no mob-rules stuff, which IMO I think would be counter-productive, even at this critical stage. We all know Koppout needs all the ammo he can get, the fact that he can't get half of what he wants really pisses him off, and that's the best bit of all.

Again, if you want to find out my opinions of the game, I apologise for the lack of them today. It really was that inconsequencial. I just hope that when this is all done, I can go back to watching Wimbledon Football Club. Not fucking Parasite City FC.

 

3 November 2001

At the time I write this, I'm not too sure what's more a pathetic joke - either the game that was Run by fishy people 2 Run by fish 1 or probably the most insultingly bad press release afterwards. More on the press thing later. But as for the game, jeez. What a dire game. I honestly forgot such games existed, but sadly they came out of this particular closet quicker than Koppout running into a kid's playground. What is there to say about this game that doesn't involve me snoring? Well, er, Andy Roberts scored with a 30 yarder, urm, they scored, and urm, Jobi came on and, er, he scored with his arse. Or DC's arse. And that really was about it. If this was Shoot!, I would give it 1 star. As SW19, I would just say "bollocks" and tell you to read the following:

Plus points: Well we won. And Jobi played well.

Minus points: This game really did suck. Actually, we were a bit lucky.

The referee's a....... : ... sorry, I didn't notice him. Fuck, this was dull.

Look, did anything go on of note? Well yeah. A Wimbledon fan, who shall go by the name of "I" was going out with a barmaid of a certain pub, who shall go by the name of "T". Anyway, "I" was going out with her for about 15 months, with, I quote, "not a hint of action". Until last week, when "T" gave "I" a blow job. See, it wasn't all bad news.

Urm, tasteful: That's what "T" said.

Quotes: (1) "We're playing for a draw" - one Mr Royston Cappel. This after 10 minutes of the first half. (2) "This is boring". "Who, Jocko?" - me and another SW19 reader discussing the game having been talking to Mr Annette about 5 seconds beforehand. (3) "On the pitch" - seven year old behind me at the sit-in. See Koppout, even the youngsters have been driven to anarchy because of you.

Speaking of cretinous obnoxious yarpie fuckwit lawyers: He was spotted on the phone quite a bit in the first half, complete with quite a bit of police presence around his area. Don't tell me he's scared to talk to people? Surely growing up in apartheid South Africa would have toughened him up?

OWFF Watch: Bit farsical, apparently. Reports that Koppout's proposed constitution got thrown out, and bits of the fans' constitution were being thrown in after being mysteriously removed were being bandied about. Two weeks in, and already it's sounding a bit of a failed attempt to rig the vote. Another Koppout fuck up.

Truth is stranger than fiction: (1) A game where we go ahead and don't lose it. (2) Just how bad was that atmosphere? People are clearly pissed off with the club's direction, a club without a soul is a club without a hope... (3) Anyone else notice that chopper circling around SP about 15 minutes before the end? Perhaps it was Koppout's escape. Though hopefully the pilot was one of Bin Laden's mob about to do a suicide hijack on Milton Keynes. We can but hope.

Anything else? No, not really.

So, was it worth it? If I'd paid £19 for that, I'd laugh in your face before gobbing in it and calling you Charles Koppel. Come to think of it, I'd do exactly the same had I paid 19p.

In a nutshell: I don't feel like we've won.

 

Of course, most of you are probably wondering about the sit-in etc. Firstly, I was seriously impressed with the amount who stayed behind - about 1.5k-2k I reckon. Secondly, I was seriously pissed off with the club's response to it. I won't insult your intelligence about reproducing their press release, WFC have done enough of that. For those wondering what was said, basically all you need to do is to rehash all their words and throw in a few blatant lies about Safeway still going to build on Plough Lane (FACT: they're on their fourth attempt at planning permission and that ain't too swift), how it's too expensive, why MK is still the answer etc etc. All spin, all bullshit.

I could rant and rave about it, but I'll take a different approach - I have come to the conclusion that this current administration chronically over-rates itself. That press release (which I suppose what them thinking "oh look, we're doing the fans a favour, aren't we responsive?") was full of lies as we know, and whenever you have to resort to blatant lying in a PUBLIC statement, your arguments hold no weight whatsoever. A WISA press release replying to it may suffice IMO. The other thing the press statement proved to me that the club have got ZERO commercial nous whatsoever. If you can't fund it yourself, try and get other people involved. The ONLY reason why MK is still lusted after by the incompetent pricks in charge is because they don't have to do anything funding wise. That's it. Nothing to do with shit like bigger crowds etc, it's all because we have sad, pathetic men like Reg Davis, Thorley and Koppout making the decisions. That's why this club is going down the swannee ATM. What sickens me most of all is that they seem to get a perverse kick out of being so - a bit like a paedophile gets kicks out of child porn, I guess.

Couple of other thoughts : firstly, trying to get people to accept such a move as MK would be difficult in itself at the best of times, the club's handing has made an appaling situation even worse. Secondly, notice how the press releases are trying at least to say that there is some opposition? Sadly for them, their incompetence only makes it worse reading. Thirdly, at the risk of sounding a sourpuss, do we really need to do another sit-in inside the ground after this? I have to confess, when I first heard we were doing it, I groaned, because I believed we had run its course over it. Granted, it worked better than expected, and my hat's off to all concerned. But next demo must be different. Outside the director's box, perhaps? That would cause havoc. And obviously such stunts like that Main Stand invasion should be, ahem, not discouraged. Without breaking ground regs of course.

We have a club to save...